These Days
by littlewinter
Summary: "I groaned and buried my face in my hands. I was a jerk. Here she was, the girl I'd been fighting for over almost a year now. She'd finally given me her little finger and what did I do? Grab her boob. Smooth, Black." Bella/Jacob. Written in JPOV.
1. Preface

**These days**

* * *

_What do you do when the past sneaks up behind you, places its hands around your neck and squeeze?_

Rated M for sexual content, choking choices and perverted boyish brains.

**Disclaimer: **All rights belong to Stephenie Meyer. This is fanfiction, and I don't make any money on this work. I own nothing, not even the story title. I stole that from a Joy Division song.

_A.N: This story kicks off during New Moon. Bella jumps from the cliff, but Jacob is right behind her. This way, Alice never see her vision of Bella jumping, since Jacob is too close. Bella and Jacob continue to develop their relationship. Everything goes the right way, until the day Bella receives a fatal phone call from the past that turns both their lives upside down. Written in JPOV._

* * *

**Preface**

I followed her tire tracks from her car, just like a real dog. It led me over on the road that was leading past the cliffs. The cliffs. Sure, she couldn't be that stupid? I knew I had promised her to take her cliff-diving today, but that included just that. _M__e. _Alone, she would kill herself. There was a storm out there! But there was something in me that told me that maybe, maybe...Still. Would she do it anyway?

I burst into sprint, willing my four legs to run faster. I didn't even need to follow the tracks from her car; I knew where they were headed. I reached the lane that crossed to the cliffs, and started running up the road that wound in a thin line towards the top.

I smelled her before I saw her. I saw the car first, and then her. Right on the edge. She was drenched to the bone from the rain, the wind whipping her wet hair all around her. The world froze for a moment, and then things happened very fast.

Bella rolled up to the balls of her feet. She raised her arms straight out, like in a perfect dive. I could see parts of her face, and was stunned to see that she was smiling. She lifted her face up towards the sky before she crouched down.

And then she jumped.

I screamed after her. Or howled, rather. But my howl drowned in the howling from the wind and mixed in with her scream as she fell. I lunged the last remaining meters and flung myself after her over the edge. The waves below were black and rough. I forced my eyes open against the screaming wind and steeled myself as I hit the water nose first.


	2. Suicide mission

_**Suicide mission**_

* * *

_- JPOV_

_Song: These days – Joy Division_

* * *

Blur. Incoherent noises. A branch cracking against my face. The vague sound of a car zooming down a nearby road. More blur. More green forest.

I was running. And I was in a hurry. She would be home now. She wasn't alone, Embry was outside her house waiting for me to take over. She was safe. I wasn't running because it was urgent or because I was needed. There was no danger. I just needed badly to see her.

Another branch cracked against my snout, making my face burn. I cursed inwards. I couldn't manage to pay attention to where I was running. I was too distracted.

_Oh, get a grip, _Embry snorted inside my head, interrupting my thoughts. _Does she affect your running too? Is there _anything _she doesn't affect?_

He sniggered a little at the double meaning and obvious answer to his words. I ignored him.

_Anything happened over there tonight?_ I asked.

_Nope, just Charlie watching TV. Bella's with him._

Embry shoved a picture of Bella's house inside my head. It was quiet, bathing in the glow from the street lights. There was the muffled sound from the TV and two hearts beating inside. Embry was watching the house from the forest edge, keeping hidden in the trees and the twilight.

I should have been with her today. She shouldn't have to be alone today. Not right now. When I'd reached the top of the hill, when I saw her stand there on the end of the cliff, there was a moment I was actually frightened. I hadn't felt truly frightened in a long time. But to watch her standing there, ready to fall ... Even though I knew there was water beneath, that the fall itself wouldn't harm her, that I would get to her and drag her up from the water in no time, I was struck with a thought that she might not be repairable this time.

I'd gotten a glimpse of her face right before she jumped. It was like if she'd finally reached a goal, something she'd been searching for a long time. A final destination. That peaceful, happy expression on her face was what had frightened me the most. This wasn't something she'd just done for fun. When she'd told me that, I didn't believe it one second. She didn't look like she was having _fun, _she looked like she'd finally found peace or something. But what else could I do but believe her? I would have to ask her about that one time. But not today.

I was nearly there. In fact, I was so close Embry started to back off and turn around to meet me half way.

_Wait!_ I urged. _I'm not there yet._

_You're unbelievable_, he snorted. _She'll be fine in the five seconds it takes for you to get over here._

But he stopped dutifully, and waited until I crashed through the branches by his side.

Everything was fine. Of course.

_Told you so, _he chanted, as he turned around and started a light jog back to La Push. His shift was over, and he was going home to crash. Lucky bastard.

_Sure. But I'm not taking any risks. Not with that redhead around, _I insisted.

The leech had been circling us for weeks. She had come dangerously close lately. And now that we knew she was after Bella, I wasn't risking anything. She was circling closer and closer, always circling, always looking for a loophole. I wouldn't give her any.

_I guess you're right, _Embry agreed. _I wish we would get her soon though. I'm getting tired of this game._

As he continued his jog through the forest, his mind turned into slumber and he moved solely on autopilot. Guess I took over just on time.

I turned my attention away from Embry and focused on the house in front of me. It felt better here. I could relax. I could hear Bella move inside, scrambling around in the kitchen. Was she cleaning? I couldn't tell. The TV was still on, and I thought I could detect someone snoring. Charlie must have fallen asleep in front of the TV.

I moved closer to the house and laid down in the shadow beneath a tree. No one would see me here, except if they knew where to look.

"Come on, dad." I heard her voice from inside. She tried to shake Charlie awake, and the snoring stopped. "Time to go to bed."

Charlie grumbled something, and then the old couch whined in protest as he eased himself up from it.

It had been a long day. Charlie and Bella had been down in La Push most of the day, keeping my dad company. Since Harry past away yesterday, everything had been a cloudy blur of sadness. Everyone was grieving, everywhere. I was, too. But we didn't have time to grieve. We needed to catch the redhead.

I wasn't planning on it. I didn't plan to do it. But as I heard her walk up to the stairs in her room, I knew that I just needed to see her face. Not tomorrow. Now. I needed to talk to her. Being out here knowing she was okay was not enough. I had barely seen Bella at all lately. And then she'd jumped off a cliff. Go figure. It wasn't safe to leave hat girl by herself.

Just as if she'd read my mind, the first thing she did when she entered her room was to walk over to her window and peer out. I stood up from the shadow, so that she would see me better. The movement caught her eye, and she smiled and opened the window. She must have recognized me in the glow from the street lights. It made me happy when she recognized me this easily, when she had barely seen me in this form before. But I guess I should have phased before she saw me. Maybe this was pushing the freaky-monster line a bit too far. Besides, I needed to talk to her.

"Jake?" she said out in the chilly night. She was studying me in the darkness, still smiling. There was something in her eyes that wasn't there when I was in human shape. Just something in the way she looked at me now. Loving, almost. It made me feel all fuzzy inside. Maybe she was more comfy with me this way. This was Bella, after all. She'd always been a bit backwards.

If I wanted to see her and talk to her, I couldn't stay like this. I had to phase back. I slowly turned around, still looking at her as I backed away into the shadow of the forest.

"Jake? No, wait! Jake!" she half whispered, half hissed in the cool night. It was as loud as she dared speak, not to wake Charlie who was already snoring up in his room.

She though I was leaving. I yelped a little to let her know she was wrong, and then continued to back away from her. I would have to walk away from her to phase. I had no intention to be mooning her in her backyard. I sniggered inwards. My guesses was that _would _make her uncomfortable pretty fast.

"Don't leave" she asked, quietly. She knew I must hear her. Oh Bella. I really had no intentions of leaving. I turned my back to her and leaped a few steps away from the house, keeping as close as possible. She whispered my name again in a hurt voice, but I ignored it as I phased back to my two legs. It actually made me happy that she so obviously didn't want me to leave. I had only had so many confirmations from her on that part.

I quickly pulled on my cut off sweats and jogged back. She was still peering out of the window, looking at the spot I'd disappeared. This pleased me, in some sick twisted way. Her gaze caught the movement as I approached, her eyes straining to make out my shape.

"Jacob," she said when she finally recognized me. She sounded relieved.

"Bella." I embraced her name. I hadn't said it out loud in too long. It felt good.

"I thought you left," she whispered.

"I just needed to phase. It's a bit easier to communicate this way."

I was standing in front of her window, looking up at her. We studied each other for a few moments. She looked tired. There were circles under her eyes and her eyelids were heavy. I imagined I must look somehow the same.

"Can I come up?" I asked hesitantly. It was late. Maybe she wanted to sleep.

"Of course," she said then, and I felt my smile widen. I took a few steps back, and crouched down to jump up and reach for the branch in the tree above.

"You can just use the stairs," Bella whispered in the night. "I'll go unlock the door for you."

I jumped, grabbed the branch above and eased myself higher up in the tree.

"It's easier this way. Now we don't have to wake up the whole neighborhood when you fall down the stairs in the middle of the night."

She snorted, but otherwise didn't reply. So I guess she _had_ fallen down the stairs before. No surprise there.

"Move back." I whispered as I was level with her window. She took a few steps away to make room. I grabbed the branch over my head and then eased myself into her room as quiet as possible. Charlie was still snoring soundly in the other room. The bull was still out.

I straightened up and there she was. Beautiful as ever. She looked tired, but she was smiling. I'd really missed her today.

"Hi" she whispered.

"Hi."

This was the second time I was sneaking into her bedroom in the middle of the night. She was still wearing jeans and a hood, but she was clutching a pair of thin sweats in her hands. She had obviously been on her way to bed. She didn't seem to be thinking about that now though.

"You look tired," she stated.

"So do you," I said. "I guess I should let you sleep, I just really wanted to see you. I feel like I haven't seen you at all lately."

"I know Jake, me too," she sighed, before she turned around and walked over to sit on the edge of her bed. She patted the space beside her for me to join her, and I did. Close, close.

"Have you been out there long?" she wondered, still studying me.

"No, I just got here," I yawned. "I just replaced Embry."

"Oh," she looked down at her hands resting neatly in her lap. I wrapped my hand around hers, and she didn't object. Her hand was so tiny and cold compared to mine.

"What about you?" I asked carefully. "Have you spent the whole day with Charlie and dad?"

"Yeah, well, sort of," she said. "I've been down at the beach mostly. They've spent a lot of time over at Sue's helping her with the arrangements and stuff. But after a while I felt like I was just interfering so I went down to First Beach. The funeral is tomorrow." She paused. " Did you know Sue's children are ill?"

I nodded. " I know."

I knew Harry's death was hard on the Clearwater's. In so many ways.

"Poor Seth and Leah," Bella sighed, as if to emphasis what I was just thinking. I didn't reply.

That was just it. Seth and Leah. They had both broken down with the fever, simultaneously, when they father died. _The _fever. They were turning, both of them. Even Leah. That was the disturbing part. This was nothing for a girl. Sam was out of himself of course. He had forbid us to say anything to anyone, so Bella didn't know anything of this. It could happen at any time now. That made three newcomers, if we included Quil. He was running the fever too.

With keeping an eye on both the Clearwater's house and Bella's, and running patrols to keep track of the leech, there was no time for rest. It was only five of us, after all. We had to sleep in turns, one at the time, and only for a few hours. I fought to keep my eyes open. I was supposed to be on duty. Protect Bella. I tried to muffle a yawn, but I must have been doing a poor job.

"When was the last time you slept, Jacob?" Bella asked.

"I got a couple of hours before I came here." Two hours of sleep was barely enough. "I can't fall asleep now." I closed my eyes briefly, trying to will myself awake but doing the opposite.

I felt fingers brush against my face and opened my eyes in surprise. Bella gently brushed her fingertips across my cheek and under my eyes. The act took me so off guard and it felt so good and I wanted to lean forward and kiss her so badly, right there.

"You have dark circles under your eyes," she whispered.

I kept my eyes on hers as I marveled in the feel of her fingers on my face. Her other hand was still resting in mine. She looked at me with concerned, warm eyes, a little cute frown on her forehead.

It would be so easy to put more into this. To lean forward. Kiss her. Maybe that was what she wanted me to do. I suddenly felt very alert. I could do that. I could lean forward, slowly, and then kiss her lightly on the lips. Lightly first, then more. She might want me to do that. Maybe she wouldn't pull away this time.

But then I remembered last night, in the car when I'd taken her home after that stupid cliff dive. I'd been thinking the same thing then. I'd thought if I kissed her then, maybe she wouldn't pull away at all. Maybe she'd wanted me to. But then suddenly she had turned all rigid before I'd ever gotten around to do it. She would just do the same now. Still, it was easy to pretend. She was studying me with warm eyes. I lifted my free hand without thinking, and stroke it across her hair. She didn't object to this either, but closed her eyes and leaned into my touch. Yes, pretending was easy.

Her hair was so smooth under my fingers. The dark chestnut color was glimmering in the light from the window. I watched her, her eyes closed resting against my hand. Her surreal pale skin, her beautiful chestnut hair ... I laughed at my self inwards. Listen to me! I sounded like a sappy poet. _Oh why, thy perfect chestnut hair! _Come and bite me.

I inched forward, I couldn't help it. Was this even a valid attempt to kiss her, if her eyes were closed? Or would that be counted as an assault? I was several inches away from her face. With this speed, I wouldn't reach her lips until tomorrow. Spite that, I inched forward again. Inched forward on my suicide mission.

Bella yawned then, and opened her eyes. I froze, and then the moment was gone. She smiled, oblivious to my poor attempted to kiss her. Maybe it was best that way.

"Stay," she said then, and my heart skipped a beat. "Stay. Sleep. Get some rest. You need it more than I do."

She wanted me to stay. Sleep. In here. With Bella. To sleep with Bella had to be the thing I wanted most in the whole wide world. I smirked inwards. Yeah yeah, I caught that one. I'd take both. Both the sleeping-in-Bella's-room part and the sleeping-with-Bella part. They'd always been unreachable anyway, both of them. She'd always been out of my league. Like the songbird inside the cage to the cat watching from the floor. Senior, sophomore. Dream on. Now, one of the two was within reach. If I didn't grab the opportunity I would be the biggest douche on the planet. But then I _was _supposed to be on duty.

She saw that I was hesitating.

"Come on, Jake. You need it. Nothing is going to happen out there tonight".

She was actually persuading me to stay here. Her words were like a life line. I wanted to grab it so badly. So tempting. Sleep and Bella had been the two things on top of my Santa Claus letter for quite a while now.

_To be a dork, or not to be._

Since I was into this whole poetic crap anyway. Why not.

"That's the question," I muttered to myself. Sam wouldn't be happy about this, though.

"What?"

"Nothing. I guess I could stay a little bit," I smiled sleepily down at her. Fuck Sam. Just for a little while.

Bella beamed. "Good. I've missed you," she said quietly.

"You know?" I said, making a spur of the moment decision. "I'm going to take some time off soon. Be around you more. Make sure you don't do something completely crazy, like, oh I dunno. Jump off a cliff or something"

"Don't worry," Bella said dryly. "I won't be doing that again any time soon."

She disappeared off into the bathroom with her change of clothes and toiletries, and I was left alone in her room. I laid down on the bed, my arms under my head, and stared up into the ceiling. Was this going to be a new routine? Every time I was on duty outside her house, would I end up here? I couldn't object. I knew this meant far more to me than it did to her, but that didn't matter. I got to stay with her. Even if the only reason was that she felt lonely. Even if she would invite anyone inside, even Paul, just to not be alone (I had to laugh a bit at the unlikeliness of _that). _It didn't matter. I got to be here. With her. I'd love for her to put more into this, to feel something vaguely similar to the way I did. But if she didn't, that was cool too. As long as I could be her best friend, her favorite person, I could wait forever.

I decided I was not going to sleep. I was only going to stay a little while. If something happened outside, I would hear it, smell it through the open window. I would be alert and awake. I'd had my dose of sleep today, however how unsatisfying. When she fell asleep, I would leave. I just wanted to stay her with her for a little while. Sam could tolerate that. He would have done the same, had it been Emily.

Bella reappeared from the bathroom, wearing sweats and a t-shirt. Her hair fell loosely around her shoulders as she strode over to the bedside drawer to tuck something away inside it. She turned around a few times, fumbling a bit around, putting things away, almost slipping on the carpet, before she finally came over to stand in front of the bed. I saw her lips move. Why didn't I kiss her earlier? I should at least have given it a real try, not just psyching myself out.

"Jacob," she said again, and I realized I was staring. Crap. What did she just say before?

"Huh?" I moved my gaze to her eyes. She looked a little amused. Like she was laughing at me. Great.

"Scoot," she said simply. I realized I was occupying the whole bed, and quickly moved to the side so there would be room for her as well. _If she had only laid down beside me anyway. Close close beside me ... _I shook my head. Down boy. Bad Jake.

Bella wrapped the covers aside and and crawled in, tucking the blanket over her legs. I immediately wished I had done the same. Crawled in under the blanket. Instead I was stuck on the outside, on top of the bedspread. Why, oh why. If I crawled in now I would only seem like the pervert I was. Maybe this was the condition on me staying. I could hardly say I was cold, either. _Bella, it's cold. _She wasn't stupid.

It felt too good laying here. I was far from tired though. It felt like someone had just shoved my head down a bucket with cold water. In bed with Bella, cold water... it had the same effect. Under these new circumstances, I was shamelessly alert. Bella didn't lay down beside me. She was sitting, her back hunched forward, legs crossed under the bedspread. I realized she wasn't smiling any more, but instead she seemed awfully thoughtful. Maybe she was having second thoughts. Most people do after letting the dog up in the bed for the first time. Not that I'd peed on her pillow, but still.

I studied her face closer. She was staring blankly down on the covers in front of her. Her shoulders were hunched, and her eyes were empty, blank. She had her arms wrapped around her, clutching her chest together. It was a look I knew all too well. She was holding herself together, afraid she would fall into pieces. This meant she was thinking about _him. _

I immediately sat up and gently put both of my arms around her small frame. As I pulled her closer to me, she leaned into my chest and I knew that she knew that I knew. Suddenly I was very glad I was here, for more than the obvious reasons. It wasn't good for her to be alone this much. She'd been alone far too much lately. I would definitely stay until she fell asleep.

"Hey," I said quietly. "Are you okay?"

She nodded against my chest, but didn't reply. I didn't push it.

"Try to get some sleep," I said. "It's late."

"Sure," she said then. Her voice was hoarse and groggy, straining with some emotion I didn't know. She leaned away from me, and I loosened my hold around her. She laid down on the bed and buried herself under the blanket.

I laid down on my back beside her, afraid to even look at her to find out if she was crying or not. I tried to lay down as far from her as I could, to give her some space and not make her uncomfortable. But she didn't want any of that. She huddled closer to me immediately, resting as close to me as the bedspread would allow. She rested her cheek on my shoulder, and curled her legs up in a tight ball beside me. When I turned to look at her, she'd already closed her eyes. Her cheeks were dry. She hadn't been crying, at least. I rested my temple on the top of her head, and listened as her breaths became deeper and more even which meant she was drifting off to sleep.

I thought about what had just happened. She'd wrapped her arms around herself, clutching herself together, thinking about _him. _Leech. I felt anger pulsing through my body at the bare thought of him. What triggered this reaction in her, I had no idea. Had it something to do with me? That couldn't be. She'd told me it always felt better when I was around. Was it something else, something that triggered a bad memory? I wouldn't know. She'd seemed normal when she came back from the bathroom. This reaction had been sudden, after sitting here in bed with me.

I briefly thought that maybe I had been the first since the leech to be here in bed with her, but I quickly dismissed the thought before I could get sick. _He_ had never been in bed with _her_. I was a hundred percent sure about that. Just the thought made me want to puke. He probably hadn't even been up in her room. It must be something else.

"Jacob," she said.

I lifted my face to look at her. "Huh?"

She didn't reply. Her eyes were still shut. I studied her face closer, and to my great surprise I realized she was still asleep. Bella was talking in her sleep. She had spoken so clearly I thought she was awake. But her breaths were still even, her heart still beating steadily. She was sleeping. And she'd said my name. I don't think I've ever felt this smug in my life. _Oh, get off your high horse, _I told myself. It didn't do much. I waited a few minutes to see if she had something more to say, but that was all.

I was stalling. I didn't want to go. But I should. I was supposed to look out for bad vamps. I just didn't want to leave. Her bed was too comfortable, and she was too close. She was sleeping deeply beside me, and all the sadness was wiped from her face. I could feel her exhales against my shoulder.

I stalled until I couldn't put it out any longer. She obviously wasn't going to say anything else. Carefully I eased away from her, letting her face glide down from my shoulder and over to the pillow. Bella mumbled something and rolled over on her stomach before she fell back to sleep. I took a last look at her face before I eased myself up from the bed and over to the window. I slipped out into the night without turning back.

I caught the tree and jumped down easily, before I started a light jog into the forest. I phased while I still had her house in view.

_About time! _Sam though, irritated.

_Didn't think we would see you again tonight, _Jared chimed in.

_That's not fair you know, that you get extra sleep just because she's your girlfriend, _Paul snorted annoyed.

_I didn't sleep, _I thought warily. _I just needed to talk to her._

I let them into my mind to see I was telling the truth, and that I had been up and alert all the time. Paul eased down a bit, and turned his attention back to the Clearwater's house he was watching over. Sam relaxed too, and focused on the patrols he were running. Jared smirked a little.

_Someone's been spending the night at their girlfriend's._

_She's not my girlfriend._

_No, but you wish._

I didn't reply. There was no point in arguing. They knew the answer anyway.

* * *

_A.N:_

_Thank you for reading! I know this story can be a little slow-paced in the beginning, but please don't dismiss it immediatley because of that. I personally like it much better a few chapters into the story, so be patient with me! I just need to build up some basics first..._

_English is not my first language, but I try my best to not make too many errors. Still, if you see a mistake or misplaced comma or whatever, let me know so I can correct it;) _

___Reviews are really appreciated!_


	3. The Great Horror

**The Great Horror**

* * *

_Fine, _Sam thought. _Fine. You can go, Jacob._

He had finally gotten tired of having longing images of Bella shoved into his mind. I nearly phased on the spot.

It had been an intense day, to put it mildly. Originally, today had been the day of Harry's funeral. Instead, this had been the day where our pack got two new members. Seth and Leah went to the church. After the ceremony, a little away from the others, Sam asked Leah how she was. And that did it. We had a hell trying to get her away without anyone noticing. Sam got her howled behind the nearest house, out of sight before it was too late. She phased right there. We managed to get Seth out of there straight after. It was a miracle no one noticed. I guess there must have been some wondering why the children weren't at the after ceremony. I don't know what they told them.

_Try to get some sleep at least, _Sam lectured me like an exasperated parent. _Remember you're still on tonight._

I'd spent the rest of the day running patrols with Paul. Now, Bella was at the Clearwater's with dad and Charlie. It was safest for her at La Push at the moment. It was easier for us this way, when we didn't have to watch her house. I'd been tired to the bone just minutes ago, but not anymore. I would see _her_ now.

_Jacob doesn't need rest, _Paul chanted. _Jacob can just sleep with Bel-lah and then he's good to go._

I growled.

_Chill, little boy, _Paul snorted. _Is it not enough for you that she's saying your name in her sleep? Do you want more?_

I really hate sharing a pack brain. No. Secrets. Ever.

_Jacob's just sulking, _Embry thought to Paul. _He only wishes she would say his name like that when she's awake._

_What did you do when she said that, Jakey? _Paul mocked. _Go hide in a corner and jerk off?_

I was planning a spitting reply, when Sam interrupted. _Guys, _he though, his tone resentful.

He made us aware of Seth, who was listening with great confusion and distress. Neither Seth or Leah could calm down enough to be able to phase back. This was normal. Seth was still confused and scared as all the rest of us had been, but he was taking it surprisingly well. He didn't really know what to think of it yet. Too much information. And a tail. I remember feeling the same way. Leah was another story. She had finally heard the true story about her, Sam and Emily, re-lived the break-up, and had a good look into Sam's head, which was now filled with love for Emily. She'd had a complete breakdown, and was still not entirely sane. But who of us were sane, really.

Obviously it was not our words Sam were referring to. Any aggressive situation would not make this any better. Leah was still just a great heap of heartache and distress. I don't even know if she noticed us at all.

Newcomers or no newcomers, I still wanted to spit Paul between his ugly eyes.

_Great guys, _I thought, forced to settle on sweet irony. _I think you've made your point now._

I'd bite Paul's ears off later.

_Jacob_, Sam began, thinking of Seth again.

I'd finally reached the forest edge, so I phased without further ado. I welcomed the silence as I walked out if the trees across the lawn to the Clearwaters, still fuming inside. It was already in the middle of the afternoon, and I'd only seen Bella briefly in the funeral earlier today, before everything got out of hand. By the time I reached the door, I managed to calm myself down some. I could hear someone having a silent conversation form the inside of the house. I knocked quietly on the door before I let myself in.

"Hello?" I said out into the empty hallway, just to let them know I wasn't sneaking in on them.

"In here, Jacob," I heard my dad's voice from the living room.

When I entered the living room, the first thing I saw was dad, Sue and Charlie sitting around the table. There were half emptied cups of coffee in front of them, and they all wore solemn expressions. Sue didn't seem to notice that I even entered the room. I knew they couldn't be talking about Seth and Leah, because Charlie was completely excluded from that. For all he knew, they were upstairs with the mono.

Only when I turned around did I see Bella. She was sitting in the far-side chair, looking just as misplaced as I knew she felt. It looked like she thought she was intruding, even though she obviously wasn't. Her face was both sad, excusing and uncomfortable. She smiled when she saw me though. Just a little bit. My heart thumped irregularly.

"Hi," I said to the room, before I addressed Bella; "I just thought I'd see if you wanted to go back." While asking her I also swept my eyes across Charlies face. He would be able to stay here, keep Sue company, if he wanted. He understood, and nodded simultaneously as Bella said "Uhm. Okay. But I can stay some more if there's anything I could do"

"You can go, Bella" Charlie said. His voice was tired. "I'll come by and pick you up later."

"Do you have your truck here?" I asked. I realized I couldn't exactly offer her a lift if I didn't have a car to drive her in. Didn't think of that. I peered out the window. Maybe she'd been driving with Charlie. "Or I could always go get the Rabbit. It would only take a minute."

Bella opened her mouth to answer, but Sue answered before Bella could say anything.

"You can take my car," Sue said. It was the first thing she'd said since I came here. I looked at her.

"Are you sure? I could just take the..."

"No, that's fine," she said, managing a smile. "Just take mine. It need's to get aired a little anyway. I don't drive much." She got up from the sofa and walked over to retrieve the keys from a drawer. She tossed them in my direction, managing another smile. She was being nice, showing me her appreciation fro taking care of her children today when she couldn't. I knotted my fist around the key.

"Thanks. I'll bring it back later."

Bella got up, and we both said our goodbyes offering our last condolences to Sue. Then we walked out into the chilly evening and I closed the door behind us. Bella automatically stepped closer to me and I wrapped my arm around her shoulders to keep her warm.

"Poor Sue," Bella said quietly. "And Seth and Leah."

I knew she didn't know about Seth and Leah, and I wasn't privileged to tell her. So I avoided it all together. "How are _you_?" I asked, looking down at her.

"Me?" she said surprised, peering up at me. She had to tilt her head backwards so that she could see my face. "I'm okay."

As I looked down at her, all the stress evaporated from my body. Annoyance with Paul, sadness over Harry, exhaustion from lack of sleep... gone. Out of the blue, I felt happy. It was something only Bella could do. When she smiled, a little tentative smile, I couldn't help but lean down and hug her, lifting her off her feet.

"Jacob!" she choked, and laughed a little. That laughter made my day. She hadn't laughed like this in a long time. I put her down at her feet and grinned at her.

"Your place or my place?"

She thought about it for a second before she decided. "Your place."

She could stay all evening. We could make dinner. Watch a movie. Like a date. I knew it wasn't, but what the heck. What was the difference really? Pick her up. Dinner. Movie. I decided to think of this as a date. I would act like it was a date. She didn't have to know, sick as that might sound. Drastic times, drastic measures. And all that.

We walked over to Sues car, which were parked in the driveway. It was a blue shiny little thing. Somehow it didn't fit me. It might have something to do with my dad always telling me this was a chick car. Small guys don't like girl related things. It would be filled with girl buggies, I remembered. But that was before.

I got in behind the wheel while Bella got into the passenger seat. She buckled herself in as I ran my fingers tentatively over the steering wheel. _Hello stranger._ I had mixed feeling about this car. It seemed very unfamiliar to me. It looked too clean for me somehow, to smooth. Not dusty and dirty and familiar. Maybe that was simply because it belonged to a woman. But maybe I was prejudiced. Maybe this was to be a lifetime experience. I gripped the wheel in one hand and found the key. I fumbled for the clutch, but then realized something was horribly wrong.

"Oh no!" I groaned loudly as I realized what it was. Lifetime experience my ass.

Bella jolted back in her seat.

"What?" she cried, her voice alarmed, looking startled. She looked around, trying to find out what was wrong. It was like if she was looking for an animal we might have run over, spite the fact that we wasn't even moving. She might look frightened, but not nearly frightened enough.

"It has automatic gearshifts!" I felt the grimace on my face, twisted in horror and anguish. This was dreadful. I wanted nothing more than get out of this horror. The Great Horror. Surely, there was nothing of greater horror than this. I turned to stare at Bella. She looked completely dumbfounded.

"What?"

For Christ sake.

"It's automatic!" I whined again, gesturing wildly down between us. "Look, it doesn't even have a clutch!"

She turned to look where I was pointing. Where there normally was possible to change between gears, here it was only a D and a P. Drive. Park. Stupid. And only two pedals. Gas. Brakes. No clutch. No clutch, no engine. No engine, no _fun. _Stupid piece.

She looked up at me.

"So?"

"_So?" _I stared back at her.

"You look like you're about to cry" she said, and I almost couldn't believe it when I actually heard her chuckle. Not funny. Chuckling was the last thing I felt like doing right now.

"It's a _car, _Jacob!" she exclaimed. "Not the dooms of hell."

"Might as well be," I muttered, turning the key. She was unbelievable. The engine sounded low and vein. Horrorstruck, I slammed the wannabe-gearshift into Drive. Stupid drive. Stupid car. I missed my Rabbit intensely as we coughed out of the driveway. I would never take my Rabbit from granted again.

It was even worse than I'd imagined. The Horror was coughing along, never doing what I wanted. In every slight curve of the road, it whined loudly. It was simply a huge crybaby. I pushed the pedal. Whine. I pushed further. Louder whine. Further. Cough.

What a great start. Smooth, Jacob. I mentally patted my self on the back. Way to go. You're the man. I made a promise to myself never to drive this thing again.

"You just need to take it slower," Bella said.

She sounded like she was having _fun._ I should be glad someone was enjoying this; I knew I wasn't. Several cars zoomed past us on the main road. I imagined they were pointing and laughing. I couldn't blame them. I would have done the same.

"I miss my Rabbit."

"You sound like a proud parent."

I just grumbled. She would never understand.

As we arrived outside my house, The Horror started whining again when I was forced to slow down. I killed the engine as soon as we had parked, and got out of the thing at the speed of light. But then I had second thoughts.

"You know, I'm going to get this thing back to Sue right away. Get rid of it."

I couldn't relax here with Bella if I knew I had to get into this thing later. Bella smiled.

"It sounds like you're going to dump it somewhere."

"It crossed my mind," I admitted.

I walked Bella to the door and made sure everything smelled like normal. She would be fine. I got back into the horror and it coughed it's way back to Sue. Never again. I phased and hurried back home, taking the shortcut through the forest. I reached home in just a few minutes, and found Bella poking around in the fridge.

"I thought maybe we could make some dinner?" she said, turning her voice up in a question at the end.

"Sure, sure." I walked over to her to stand beside her on the counter. She looked tired, but happy. Good.

We made pizza together in the tiny kitchen. Even though Bella ended up making most of the pizza, I was the one getting flour all over my face.

"I don't know how you do it," I said, staring at her flour-free clothes.

"Practice," she said simply, taking a step closer to wipe some flour off my cheek.

I had to remember to breathe evenly. I tried to hold her gaze, but she just smiled and moved away to put the pizza in the oven.

We ate on the couch in the living room, like we normally did. This was pretty much a normal night like any other night. Only I was determined to make a difference somehow. To make it more than just any day. I sneaked a glance at her beside me, munching on her food and looking hot as ever. Maybe a difference was needed. Maybe it was wanted. Maybe she _wanted _me to-

"So you want to see a movie?" she interrupted my train of goofiness.

"Erm. Yeah. We could do that."

Did she hear how weird my voice sounded? I hoped not. It was a normal question, right? No implications. Much. Bella gathered the dishes to carry them into the kitchen.

Thank god we weren't at her place. She'd probably wanted us to see Romeo and Juliet or something. It was a risk though, letting her choose. I still remembered that trip to the theater in Port Angeles with that Newton bloke. Face Punch, wasn't it? She sure knew how to pick them. That movie was scrap. One crappy heap of donkey poo. Though she did miraculously find a movie she wanted to see out if my thin stock of dvds. Good thing she wasn't a romance kind of girl. She was so determined not to have any romance she surprised me. But it was not like I complained.

She sat down beside me on the sofa, and I rested my arm on the sofa behind her. The movie was okay, I 'd seen it before. I didn't really pay attention to it much. I tried at first. But then, after ten minutes or so, Bella shifted beside me. She moved her legs up in the sofa, so that her feet pressed against my thigh. That kept me occupied the next five minutes. Then she shifted again and leaned a little into my shoulder. My arm was still draped over the back of the sofa. The next ten minutes or so I spent debating with myself whether I should place it around her shoulder or not. When I finally did, she didn't even seem to notice.

Phew. Why was this so nerve wrecking now? I did this all the time. We'd always been easygoing. I held her hand every day, didn't I? Maybe it was like this now because this time I desperately didn't want her to pull away. Not again. Seriously, I needed to calm down. Cool it. This was Bella. My Bella.

But maybe that was the problem. Bella always pulled away. And she wasn't mine. I stretched my feet out on the table in front of me and tried not to think about it.

Bella sighed a little bit, eyes still on the movie. Then she rested her head on my shoulder, and my heart did a double take. I could seriously feel my brain shrink a little. She settled herself against my side and relaxed completely into me. I tightened my arm around her reflexively. She didn't mind. My brain shrunk some more, making me feel lightheaded. Maybe this wasn't so difficult after all.

"Your feet are too big," Bella said then.

_What the-?_ I turned around to look at her, my eyebrows lifted high on my forehead. She got to be kidding me. When she saw my expression she doubled over and burst out laughing. I kept staring at her, my eyebrows still raised in mock fascination. She had to know how bad that sounded.

"You're blocking my view, Jacob." She was still chuckling as she dried her eyes on her sleeve. She poked my feet with her own. "Take them down."

I shook my head as I removed my feet from the table. She definitely knew how to put things.

"You're weird, Bella," I said fondly. She really was. How I loved that about her.

"So are you," she said, just as fondly.

Her head stayed on my shoulder throughout the whole movie. Or at least I think so, because I might have dozed off a little at the end. I _was _sort of sleep-deprived, and I _had _sort of seen it before. I wondered if it was possible to develop amnesia purely on lack of sleep. When I opened my eyes, the TV screen was blank. She'd turned it off. Her head was still on my shoulder though. At first I thought she was asleep, but then she sighed and I knew she wasn't. When I moved a little beside her, she turned her face up towards me.

"You feel asleep," she noted, as if I wouldn't know. A smile spread on her lips as she took in my face. "I think you needed that."

She was so close. So close. Way more close than she'd ever been last night. When would she ever realize we were already more than friends? Would she ever? I bet my bed and my motorcycle she didn't sit like this with her other friends. I knew_ I _didn't. I shook my head slightly, trying to clear my head from the images of Embry wrapped up by my side like this. Nope. This wasn't normal, friendly behavior.

"Charlie will be here soon," she sighed then, as she glanced over to the clock on the mantelpiece. "I guess I should go anyway, let you get some real sleep."

How I wished she could stay. Spend the night. She could have my bed. I could sleep outside, if necessary. But she couldn't, wouldn't. I knew that. I decided to push my luck. If this had been a date, an official date, I would've.

"I don't want you to leave," I said. My voice sounded dry since I hadn't said anything in a while. I cleared my throat. She could interpret those words in so many ways. All were true. But she just smiled like if I'd just asked her if she wanted a soda.

"I take up too much of your time, I think. You need to sleep too, you know. You can't stay awake forever."

So close. I leaned a little bit closer. She'd seemed better lately. Since the day of the cliff dive. When I drove her home, when I came to see her last night ... She seemed closer to me somehow, as if our friendship had moved into another level. I needed to know where she was, if she felt that too. Should I? Could I?

I inched closer. I felt her breath hitch against my face, as she realized what I was doing. Her smile had turned into a question mark, as if she didn't quite know how to react. But she didn't pull away. And because of that I did the thing I'd dreamed about ever since she moved back from Forks – I kissed Bella.

Her lips were much warmer than the rest of her body. And they were so soft; much more different than I'd expected. I didn't really have a lot of experience on this area, but I'd caught up a thing or two. Not that I ever got around to show them.

Bella had frozen beside me, completely still. I knew she was going to pull back the second before she did, so I spared her the trouble and broke the kiss before she could do it herself.

She was staring at me, unable to speak. Oh, come on, how could she not see that one coming? To my great surprise I saw a furious blush start to spread in her cheeks. That reaction made me more satisfied than anything.A_ reaction is better than _no_ reaction_, I told myself.

"Jake – " she said, her voice weak, shaking her head slightly. I knew what she was going to say. I knew I'd been pushing my luck a bit. And I knew she was not at the same place I was, by far. I'd known all this when I kissed her. But that didn't matter. She would realize, someday.

I would make her realize.

"I know," I said, and smiled down at her. "It's cool. Don't think about it." Bella looked like she was going to protest and pull away from me completely, so I added; "Really. It's okay. Just thought I'd let you know how it feels to kiss someone warm for a change."

It had to be better than kissing a rock. With fangs and all. I shuddered. But even the thought of Mr. Marbledouche couldn't wipe the grin from my face. I'd just kissed Bella Swan and she didn't run away screaming. At least not yet. That had to count for something.

Bella buried her face in her hands.

"Oh, Jake..." she said, her voice shaking.

All right. Not the reaction I was looking for. At least she didn't wiggle away completely. But burying her face in her hands; that actually stung a little. I guess winning her over with my kissing technique was sort of out of the picture now. What a great confidential boost. Or not. Hopefully she wouldn't start crying. The thought of that made my grin falter a little. Paul would never let that go if Bella started crying after I kissed her.

"Bella," I said more seriously, and she peeked up at me through her fingers. "I know. I know you don't really feel that way." I almost added a '_yet', _but reigned it in at the last moment. Something told me that wouldn't help the case. I continued. "I simply wanted to kiss you. No need to put anything more into it. Really. I know. It's cool."

I wouldn't push her on it. I'd give her space. I could wait. I'd waited so far, and she was becoming more and more herself, more and more whole. I'd give her space. She was still eyeing me dubiously, unsure of what to do and how to react. I desperately hoped whatever she was considering didn't include tears or running.

"Come on," I teased her. "It can't have been that bad! I didn't give you a lifelong trauma did I? You're not going to start with therapy or something?"

I was aiming for a smile, and I succeeded. Bella removed her face from her hands and smiled just a little bit. She was about to say something, but was interrupted when a pair of headlights lit up the whole living room. Her eyes became concerned again.

"Charlie," she said.

I sighed.

Charlie and dad entered in the doorway a few minutes after, both looking tired. Charlie greeted me briefly, obviously eager to get home. He'd even kept the engine running.

"Early start tomorrow," he explained. "There's a heap of work that needs to be done. If it doesn't get any better, I'll might even have to go to the station in Seattle in a few days."

"You're going away?" Bella frowned. "Is it serious?"

"It's all those killings," Charlie sighed, exhausted. "We seem to get nowhere, and they aren't stopping."

Bella got a guilty look upon her face, but luckily Charlie didn't seem to notice. Though if he had, I doubt he'd get any wiser. I exchanged a look with my dad. We all knew it was the redhead who caused all those killings nearby. I guessed they must have ceased since Laurent died, but not stopped completely. I felt so bad for Charlie, who was working his ass off for something he couldn't fix. And we couldn't even tell him about it.

"I just hope it gets better soon," Charlie sighed. "There's a bloody meeting about it in the morning-" he rolled his eyes and made air quotes. "-on 'how to best cooperate' to solve this thing. We'll see. I'll see you around, Billy. You too, Jacob. Goodnight."

We said our goodbyes and he ducked back out to his car outside. I leaned against the wall and watched Bella as she put her jacket on, while dad wheeled his way into the kitchen. I waited to he was safely out of hearing rage.

"You're not mad, are you?"

I knew she wasn't but I asked anyway. You could never ask that enough, my dad had told me once. Better to be on the safe side.

"What? No, of course not," Bella looked up, and met my gaze. A smile spread on her face, and I thought that maybe I hadn't screwed up this after all. I tried not to look too cocky. Bella laughed at my expression.

"Thanks for the pizza," she said. And then, to my great surprise, she stretched up on her toes and hugged me, making my ego swell with confidence. I smiled into her hair when I felt her lips against my cheek. "See you tomorrow," she said, and then she turned and walked out the door. I stared after her for a second before I got a grip and closed the door behind her.

I dragged back into the living room and slumped down in a chair. I still couldn't keep the grin off my face. I watched dad as he wheeled himself back from the kitchen with a plate on his lap.

"Did you kids have a nice time?" he asked, eyeing me knowingly.

"It was okay," I shrugged unconvincingly. "Made pizza, watched a movie."

Dad eyed me some more. "You look like you've had a good time."

I've never been able to hide anything from that old man.

"Yeah," I admitted, loosing all pretenses. "I have. She makes me happy."

Dad kept eyeing me, waiting for me to spill the beans. He looked like he was waiting for some big revelation. I wish.

"That's all!" I insisted. He just chuckled and turned his attention back to his dinner.

I got a few hours of sleep before I had to head out again to run the night patrols with Sam. I'd rather be over at Bella's house, but I really couldn't be staying there every night. Embry was out as well, running along the eastern perimeter with Leah and Seth. Seth was eager. Leah was hateful, trailing behind. Still, running was the best thing both of them could do right now. Get into things, forget others. It was weird having my head this crowded.

_How long have you been like this?_ Seth asked, curious and admiring. I had a feeling he'd been asking questions for a while.

How long, indeed. Months, surely. How many? One, two. I tried to think back, but instead I caught on to something else. Right here, on the familiar track in front of me. The sweet, sickening scent of vampire.


	4. Leeches

**Leeches**

* * *

It was her. The redhead leech. It was a close call. We managed to trace her away from La Push, all the time trying to cut her off from the coast line. She had a tendency of steering that way for a safe escape into the sea.

_Come on, you've nearly got her! _Seth chanted in my head. I was racing alongside with Jared, who had a devilish eyesight. A glimpse of red hair. Stench. I pressed my legs to sprint. She was faster than that other leech. She wasn't trying properly though. She was only halfheartedly trying to get past us, never really taking any big moves.

_Come on! _Seth pressed. He was getting a little annoying actually.

_Sorry, _he added.

The bloodsucker took a leap to her right and Jared lunged after her, snapping in a frenzy. He missed her by inches. Leah snarled in agitation. She was being surprisingly lethal, running to our right with Embry and Seth. She felt good being able to take her hatred out on something. Especially the thing that had made her this way. We all knew how satisfying that was.

The leech tried to take a sharp turn and slip past us, but we were faster. I nearly had her, she was so close ... But then she slipped away again, my teeth closing around empty air. She lunged back towards Embry, who made a beeline but missed her, and then she threw herself up in a tree and out in the ocean. Coward.

_Damn. _Jared kicked the ground with his paw as we shredded to a halt on the cliffs where she'd disappeared.

_Wow. _Seth was both elated and annoyed at the same time. To me, this was just all too familiar.

_We need to get back, _I thought. _Go along the coastline to make sure she doesn't cross it. _

And get to Bella before she anyone else does.

Sam agreed. We ran back in stupor, some more agitated than others, meaning me. Bella's house however was Jared's responsibility tonight, and he was the one with the privilege to check on her.

_Privilege, _he snorted, even though I knew he didn't mind.

Both Bella and Charlie were there, both asleep by the sound of it. The area was leech free. That made me relax a little and it was easier to go back to the usual patrols. We were all pretty sure the redhead wouldn't come back today. But it was better being safe than sorry.

The next week flew by without any remarkable events. I spent every spare minute with Bella. The bloodsucker didn't return. Five days had past since trace after the redhead, and it became Friday. It was around four o clock and I was off the hook. I drove the Rabbit over to Bella's house eager to see her again. I marveled in the feeling of my own car, after that disastrous trip with Sue's Horror. Just to demonstrate, I pushed the gas pedal a bit further down than what was strictly legal. It purred under me. There was not even a hint of a whine. I purred with it.

I parked in the driveway outside her house. I could have just run here, but this spared me any questions from Charlie. And besides, driving this car again felt good. As I got outside, I heard a loud oozing sound coming from the living room. But there was something else too. There was music. At first I was stunned. Bella had avoided music for so long, but here she was, seemingly embracing it. The thought made me happy. She was getting better, and this was proof. I wasn't just imagining things.

I walked over to her house, and the oozing sound became louder. What was she doing? The music was very low, so low I couldn't believe she could actually hear anything. Specially not over that other noise. I considered knocking, but she wouldn't hear it anyway so I just walked straight in.

She was vacuuming. Of course. And listening to music on her ipod. She didn't see me at first, she was standing with her back towards me while working on the carped. She wore shorts and a t-shirt, her hair in a braid down her back. I cleared my throat loudly and voiced her name. She turned around, and my mind was immediately distracted by the location of her ipod. Which she'd put in her bra for the lack of pockets. Was it sick to be jealous of a digital object? It didn't seem fair to human kind that this _thing_ got to be _there._

"Jacob!" she straightened up as she saw me . She quickly popped the earplugs from her ears and gathered up her ipod in her hands. "I'm done now, I'll just stuff this back in the closet." She waved her hand vaguely in the direction of the vacuum cleaner.

"Here, hold this for me", she said and placed the ipod in my already open hand and then started to drag the vacuum cleaner away towards the closet under the staircase. I stared down on the little object in my hand and thought about where it just had been. It was still warm. Oh holy mother. I was suddenly very grateful I wore jeans today. Sweats would have been torture. Not that this wasn't.

"You don't need to stop because of me," I told her, not really aware of what I was saying. I just needed to avert myself and say _something_.

"I'm nearly done anyway" she said, as she turned around. I quickly stuffed the ipod back in her hands. "Just some tidying here and there. Are you staying for dinner?"

"Stupid question," I smiled. "Of course I'm staying for dinner."

I followed her up the stairs and watched her a little bit as she bussed around in her room. I capitulated on her bed after a while, when I figured out her "tidying here and there" might take a while. And Bella wasn't the one to leave things where they were. As I leaned back and watched her I felt completely relaxed. It was a good moment, a good day. Somehow, all the mess over the past few weeks were staring to sort itself out. Bella was the one thing that balanced it all out smoothly, making it bearable, making it good. I sat on her bed leaning my head against the wall as I watched her fold some clothes and put them into her closet.

"Do you want to ride the bikes today?" I asked. "Or we could go hiking if you'd like, though it might be a bit late."

Her fondness for hiking had surprised me at first, but I was all in. It had been a while since the last time we were out in the woods. Bella always surprised me somehow, it was one of the things that was so great about her. She wasn't predictable.

"We could ride the bikes," she said, her voice floating out from the depth of the closet. "But we could just hang out here as well."

I remembered before when she'd been completely frantic about riding the bikes. I'd been so thrilled when she'd brought them to La Push, finally giving me the opportunity to show off a little. She wasn't so frantic about them now.

"You've gotten tired of the bikes?" I asked.

Her face appeared from the closet to look at me. "No, why?"

"It's just...you seemed more eager to ride them before."

Bella got a funny expression on her face. "Oh. I guess it was just fun learning how to ride them. But it's still fun though." She bit her lip before she disappeared behind the closet door again. Huh.

"If you think it's boring we could do something else," I said, and added with a grin, "But I wont take you cliff-diving. I think you've done enough of that." Unless she really wanted to. Or persuaded me. Or just asked, really.

"That's fine" she said dryly from behind the closet door. "And I don't think the bikes are boring."

Again, I caught myself thinking about that stupid cliff-dive. There was something I just didn't get. Why did she do it? I knew I'd promised her that we would go cliff-diving that day. And that she wanted to do it. But on her own? She couldn't possibly expect to fight her way up from those waves alone. That was just plain stupid. She must have known that.

My stomach knotted. What if she did? I didn't even want to think about the alternative. That couldn't be. She wouldn't be that miserable, would she? She couldn't be. True, she'd been alone a lot lately. But that was no excuse. No. So she must have been doing this just for...fun. She must just have been bored. What else was there? I didn't get it. Was this the time to ask her about it? I didn't want to bring it up before, the timing was always wrong. And there was always so much else going on. But I guess I could ask her now. I cleared my throat.

"Bella?"

"Mm?" Her voice dragged from the inside the closet. I don't think she noticed the change in my tone.

"Why did you jump of that cliff?"

She straightened up and closed the door in front of her before she answered. All right, she'd noticed now. "I told you. It was supposed to be fun," she said.

I hesitated before I answered. I didn't want to kill the mood, it had been so good just seconds ago. But I had to know. This had been eating on my brain for days. "Didn't look like you were having fun."

"I had. It was. Recreational."

Anyone could detect the false tone to her voice. "You suck at lying Bella," I said kindly. _Don't kill the mood, don't kill the mood, don't kill the mood._

"It..." she stuttered, her eyes on the closed handles in front of her. "You wont understand," she whispered quietly, more to herself than to me. She slumped in front of me, reminding me of a balloon just emptied of air. Great Jake. Mood choking in murder attempt. Mood getting stabbed in the back with the kitchen knife. Mood dead. Epic fail. But what did she mean by that? I frowned.

"How can you know that if you don't tell me?"

"But it _was_ fun," she looked up and grinned, trying to distract me. "Before I hit the water."

Poor attempt. She knew that.

"Bella," was all I said. Her grin slumped and she looked down at the handles again.

"I know there's something more to this," I pressed. She didn't reply, just kept staring down at the handles. A chill crept down my spine, and suddenly there was nothing humorous about the situation. "I know I've left you alone a lot lately," I said, trying to put the words in the right order. "And if...if you're down then...but that's no reason to..." I couldn't get the words out. She knew what I meant though.

"Jake," she said sternly. "I'm not trying to kill myself."

"Then what am I supposed to believe? You haven't left me that many options to begin with."

I didn't get why she was being so secretive. Bella sighed and gnawed on her lip again. Her whole face was conflicted. "You deserve to know," she reasoned quietly, again more to herself than to me. "If...if we ever..."

If we what? I had no idea what she was rambling about. She turned to look at me, and something in my expression must have made up her mind.

"Fine," she huffed, sounding annoyed. It was obvious she wasn't pleased about this. She stumped over to the bed and sat abruptly down beside me. "I'll tell you."

And so she did. She told me about her trip to Port Angeles, months back, before we started hanging out in my garage. How she'd heard that bloodsucker's voice inside her head when she approached the group of men. How she'd figured out the keywords. Reckless. Stupid. How she'd seen the motorcycles and thought of me. The riding lessons. The hiking trips with me to reach her meadow. And the cliff dive.

At first I was mad. No, I was raging. I didn't have any words. The way he got to her! So much she was even imagining his voice inside her head. I couldn't blame her for not having the quickest recovery after he left. No wonder the months had stretched on without her getting much better when she had to be listening to his voice all the time. And look at what he made her do! He almost made her kill herself. If she hadn't been with me, if she'd never come to me with the bikes but kept doing things like this on her own, this wouldn't have ended well. If she'd jumped off the cliff by herself, she would have been dead by now.

Then I felt sad. Not for my own part. For her. How much pain must she be in? It stung that she was so desperate to hear his voice she was willing to risk her life to do it. I'd known she was attached, but not how much. I also felt a bit betrayed. All this time, had been because of him. Our entire friendship. But then I couldn't deny the fact that if she hadn't heard his voice in the first place, she had probably never come to me with the bikes either. Still, it was a poor comfort.

"It just makes me so mad that he can still get to you this much," I fumed. Bella didn't reply, just sat beside me staring down at her hands. She looked both miserable and nervous. Why was she nervous? "You know, to be hearing voices inside your head normally is a sign of insanity," I told her. Like I was the one to talk. "Is it now I'm supposed to take you to a psychiatrist?"

She snorted. Okay. Not funny.

"But it wasn't all...him, was it?" I couldn't help but ask. It was the one question which had been gnawing on me the most throughout her monologue.

She looked up at me. "What do you mean?"

I tried to explain, turning my gaze away from her while I spoke."I mean, I get that's why you went to see me with those bikes in the beginning. But after a while...Was that still the only reason?" Did she see me only to get a date with him? All this time? Still? Now? I turned to search her eyes, and saw that her expression had softened.

"No, Jake. No."

I exhaled. If that was true I could survive the rest.

"Are you still going to...?" I hesitated, not sure how to put it. "I mean, you realize you can't continue to...do that." She had to know that. If she continued this now that I knew the real motivations behind it, we wouldn't be the same. I wasn't sure how to handle that. How to deal. I didn't think I could.

To my surprise, Bella smiled. "Why do you think I'm telling you this? No, Jake, I wont."

Did she just say that, or did she mean it? It sounded like she meant it. I dearly hoped she did.

"Good," I exhaled. My head was a scrambling mess, trying to figure everything out.

"Jacob," Bella said, and moved her eyes to the bedspread between us. "I'm telling you because I want you to know everything. I want you to know what you're getting yourself into. This is all very sick and twisted and you need to know that. About me. Everything."

"You're not going to tell me you can hear other voices as well, are you?" Just checking, just checking. A little sanity-check.

"No," she huffed. "I don't. But I meant what I said. You need to know about this, it's pretty twisted."

I smiled down at her. "Are you trying to scare me away?"

"No," she said again. "And if I did, it wouldn't help much." She sounded almost grumpy, like if she'd already tried and it didn't work.

"True," I agreed. "You're not very scary."

We sat in silence for a few moments, my head still mulling over what she'd just told me. The silence was interrupted from a quiet howl, not far from here. It was Sam, I could tell. He didn't sound urgent though, so there couldn't be something new about the leech. I guess he just wanted to talk to me for some reason. _On my night off. Nice._

"What was that?" Bella turned to peer anxiously out of the window.

"It's Sam," I said calmly. "Relax, there's nothing wrong." I hope. _"_But I should go and see what he wants." I didn't want to leave. It was tempting to pretend I didn't hear him, but I knew that wouldn't be received well later.

"Oh," she said, still looking anxiously out of the window. She was so jumpy these days it was almost cute. My mind returned to what I'd just been thinking about before Sam interrupted.

"Bella," I said, and she turned to look at me. "Before you decided to tell me about all this. You know, the bikes, the voices-"

"Only one voice," she corrected quickly.

"Right. Anyway, before that, you said I had 'the right to know'."

"You do," she agreed.

"And then straight after that, you said 'if'. 'If we ever', you said, but you didn't finish. I had the right to know, if we ever. What did you mean by that?"

"Nothing," she said a little too quickly, and bit her lip. She really had no idea how to lie did she? She was terrible at it and I loved that. A light blush started to spread in her cheeks. That was answer enough for me. My suspicions were confirmed. I grinned.

"I think you meant _if_ you ever find out you have feelings for me too. Which you do, by the way, in case you didn't know it."

She scowled. "Hey there, Mister Modest."

"I'm being honest," I grinned. It _was_ true. This was no ordinary friendship. I got up from the bed, stretching a little bit. "I'm gonna give you some time to think about that while I go and see what Sam wants."

Bella stood up beside me. "Are you sure it's nothing serious?"

I smiled down to her. Of course she would just ignore what I just said to her. "I'm sure. It's probably nothing." I really hoped it was nothing.

Bella was studying me with a nervous look on her face. "Are we okay? You're not too freaked out?"

Was she nervous that I was freaked out about the voices? She looked just the way I'd felt when I met her on the beach for the first time after she found out I was a monster. There was a similarity. None of us were quite right without the other, both hearing voices inside our heads. Even though her inside-voice was a tad more creepy than mine.

"Just a little bit," I teased and smiled down at her. "But I'll get over it." I took a step forward and lifted her up in a tight hug. Her whole body relaxed, and when I allowed her pull back she was beaming. Again I had that feeling we belonged together. I wondered if she felt that too.

There was another sound from outside. Sam was getting impatient.

"I'll be right back," I said, and put Bella back down on her feet. I walked over to the door, and when I turned around I was immensely pleased to see that she was looking after me.

"Remember to think about that thing I just told you to think about," I grinned. Her smile turned to a scowl, and I couldn't help but laugh at her as I turned and walked out. She was so stubborn and grumpy it was priceless.

As I went outside, I let the annoyance over Sam run through me. What did he want now? I walked over to the treeline of the backyard in cover of the threes before I phased.

_What is it?_ I thought, allowing some acid to seep into my thoughts. This better be good.

Sam ignored my attitude. _It's Quil._

_Quil? _For a moment I forgot everything else. Had Quil finally phased too? I instinctively searched my mind to find his presence, but he wasn't there. I only found Paul, Embry, Seth and Leah, out running as normal, all wearing different shades of boredom.

_He hasn't phased yet. _Sam thought. _But he will soon. Sue met him at the shop today, and he was burning up. It will happen any time now._

_Maybe hours, _Embry chimed in. I could see he was just as worried as I was about Quil. No one wanted this for him, to be forced into this life. But it was unenviable now.

_The thing is, _Sam continued. _When he do phase, you should be here. You and Embry are his best friends, and it will be easier for him to handle of both of you are here._

Leah snorted, but Sam ignored her. She was thinking about how no one had been able to make things easier for _her._

_So I should, what? Stay here and wait for it to happen?_

It did make me unhappy that I didn't get to be with Bella, especially now when we seemed to get over things, but I understood. It was Quil. My best friend. I could do that.

_Just get back to your girlfriend, _Leah snorted. _We can manage without you._

Man, that girl was getting nicer by the day.

_You don't have to stay here, _Sam translated, _but it would be best if you drop in immediately after he turns. I just thought I'd let you know what's going on. You can take over for Paul in the morning._

_Sure, thanks. Let me know if something happens. _I turned around and headed back to Bella's house.

I had mixed feelings about seeing Quil again, like this. On the one side, it would be a huge relief to let him in on the secret. I had missed him. On the other side, I hated for him to be doomed to this life too. I reached the outline of Bella's backyard and was just about to phase back when Paul interrupted.

_Jacob?_ He thought.

_Huh? _What did he want now?

_Does she really hear voices inside her head? That's kind of crazy. _Paul grunted to himself as he stared laughing like a donkey.

I phased back on the spot. Thank you Paul, for making fun of my life. I appreciate it, thank you very much. Add some spice. _As if I need that._

I pulled on the cutoffs I'd left where I phased before. When I thought about my last conversation with Bella, I felt a smile spread on my lips almost immediately. "If we ever". If we ever what, Bella? Become more than friends? What we already are? If you ever open your eyes? I wouldn't let her get away with those two words. I sprang across the lawn towards the house, ready to pester her some more about it. I sprang up the stairs and opened the front door, calling loudly up to let her know I was back.

"Hey Bella. It was just Sam, he's being paranoid as usua-"

I past the kitchen just then, and stopped short. Bella was sitting in a trembling heap on the floor beside the counter. Her eyes were frantic, and she stared at me with huge eyes. Her face was white. There was something in her expression that took me months back, all back to the night Sam found her laying on the forest floor after that leech left. I'd never seen that myself, only through Sam's memory. And now, there was something in her eyes that was vaguely similar to that.

I ran across the room and crouched down in front of her. Her whole frame was trembling, and she had trouble controlling her breaths.

"Bella!" I said loudly. "What happened?"

She seemed unable to reply. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, but no sound escaped other than a few sobs. Tears started running down her face, and she wouldn't meet my eyes. She was truly frightening me.

"Bells," I said again, trying desperately to wipe the tears from her face. They fell too fast. "Bells, what's wrong?"

She met my eyes then, and when she did that seem to hit some kind of trigger because her face fell down against my chest and she started sobbing uncontrollably. I felt terribly helpless. I put my arms around her and tried to think back what might have happened the short while I was away, but came up with nothing. "Bells," I said, again and again, willing her to tell me. It was like all those last months, all those days with pain and ache was just pouring out of her. I'd never seen anyone cry like this, with so lack of control. I'd never had to comfort anyone who cried like this.

She managed to get a hold of herself after a while, straightening more up and beginning to wipe her eyes. There was no use, new ones were already taking their place. Very carefully I placed my hands on each side of her face and tilted her face upwards until she looked at me. She looked like a deer in the headlights.

"Bells," I said, my voice shaking. "What happened?"

I watched as she opened her mouth, her bottom lip quivering. Another tear ran down her face. I heard as she tried to speak, but couldn't find her voice. She tried to say it again. Her voice whispered so quietly there was barely a sound. I felt air brush against my cheek as she whispered the one thing I'd dreaded for her to say the most. "Edward."


	5. Slumberparties

**Slumberparties**

* * *

"_Bella," I said, my voice shaking. "What happened?" _

_I watched as she opened her mouth, her bottom lip quivering. Another tear ran down her face. I heard as she tried to speak, but couldn't find her voice. She tried to say it again. Her voice whispered so quietly there was barely a sound. I felt air brush against my cheek as she whispered the one thing I'd dreaded for her to say the most. "Edward"._

* * *

I felt the blood drain from my face. The next second I was up on my feet, and I climbed the stairs in only four strides. I was standing in the middle of her room before I realized he could not be here. The whole house smelled fine. Outside too. If he'd been here it would be reeking for miles. I got back down in the kitchen in less than no time, slamming my hands against the door frame as I past it. The house shook. Bella was still sitting numbly on the floor.

"He hasn't been here," I said, my voice coming out in a snarl. It wasn't directed at her, she knew that.

Bella's hands were still shaking. I placed both of mine around hers to make it stop. If the leech hadn't just been here, something else had happened. Something must have triggered this reaction in her.

"Phone," Bella said simply.

"He _called _you?" I exclaimed, incredulous, my voice running over two octaves. He had the nerve to _call _her? After months of nothing, after all she'd been through? I was so mad I could spit. "What did he want?" _Chitchat about the old days? Doubtful_.

Bella didn't reply; it didn't look like she was able to. She seemed completely numb, her hands shaking. I sat with her on the floor for several minutes before I managed to coax an answer from her.

"What did he say, Bella? I need to know."

"He said...he..." she started stuttering. "H-He pretended to be his father."

"What?_"_

"He pretended to be C-Carlisle. Introduced himself as Carlisle. I couldn't even tell the difference. He said he wanted to talk with Charlie."

I almost couldn't believe what she was telling me. Sick, sick. "He pretended to be the doctor?" Somehow, 'father' didn't seem appropriate to me.

"Yes. And he...but then...I-I couldn't believe Carlisle was calling, and I started talking, and... and he said 'Bella'. And then I heard that it wasn't Carlisle. He must have forgotten to cover his voice, I don't know. And then I heard it was...It was Edward." When she said his name she almost doubled over, and I had to catch her and hold her up. This was insane. It was something only a leech could come up with.

"And then what?" I urged impatiently.

Bella's next words were almost inaudible as she hid in my t-shirt. "He said he needed to see me."

"WHAT?" I yelled, and yanked her face up so that I could look at her. "_What did he say?"_

"He said ' I need to see you'. And then he hung up. Or I did. I don't know." Her voice was vain, like she couldn't quite believe what she was saying.

"What does that mean? What did he mean?" Was he coming here? All of them? Or was it just words? And why would he call in the first place? Bella just shrugged weakly.

"I need to alert the others," I realized, slipping into pack mode. If the Cullens were coming back, the pack would have to know. Now. I looked back down at Bella. I couldn't leave her like this.

"Bella. I need you to come with me to La Push. I need to talk to the guys, and I wont leave you here alone".

I hated how this affected her so much, both for her part and mine. She was just staring blankly in front of her. I don't know if she even acknowledged my words.

I heard it before she did. The slight rusty engine barfing down the neighborhood, turning right, and then rolling down the street outside. "Bella. Charlie is coming."

That got a reaction. Her head snapped up, and she started scrambling herself up from the floor. She didn't get further than to the nearest chair though, where she slumped back down. What was that leech doing to her? I got up as well, and sat down in the chair opposite hers.

A car parked in the driveway outside. We heard a car door open and shut, and then the crunching from the gravel as Charlie approached the house. Bella was desperately trying to wipe her face free from tears with her hands and to hide her puffy red eyes. I just sat mutely beside her, watching her. No chance Charlie wouldn't notice. She wasn't exactly famous for her acting skills either. Not that I understood why she didn't want him to know. The more he knew about this, the better.

"Hello kids," Charlie called in a tired voice from the hallway while closing the door behind him. He must have noticed my car. I heard him remove his jacket and then his gun belt before he appeared around the corner on his way into the kitchen. "This day has been a complete..."

We never got to hear how his day had been. Charlie froze as he took in the scene in front of him. Bella, still in a heap on one of the chairs, her face streaked and her eyes red-rimmed and her expression hovering around different stages of shock. Me, sitting silently across the table from her, my elbows on my knees and not in my best of moods. The tension in the room was not pleasant.

"What's going on in here?" Charlie barked, eyeing me mostly, his voice slightly authorial. I noticed he was still clutching his gunbelt. Hm.

"Nothing," Bella whispered.

I turned to look at her just as her bottom lip started quivering, and she looked like she was about to cry any minute. Of course Charlie didn't believe her for one second. He studied her face, and frowned before he turned to glare at me like I was the source of all this. His grip around the gunbelt tightened. Bad sign.

"What, have you been fighting?" He was addressing me now.

"No, we haven't," I said quietly.

"It's nothing," Bella whispered, her voice so low I doubted Charlie could hear it at all. Why didn't she want him to know? She wouldn't be able to hide this anyway. If the Cullens returned, he would be one of the first to know.

Charlie raised his voice. "Of course it is, I'm not blind." Or stupid. "What's going on here?" He took a step closer and turned to me again. "Did you do something?"

My head snapped up at the same time a sob escaped Bella. "What? No!"

Of course he would blame this on me, _she _was the one of us crying. But come on! Charlie had always liked me, he couldn't honestly accuse me of anything just like that.

"Then what is it, then?" Charlie gushed out impatiently, spreading his arms out wide. He was still clutching the gunbelt in one hand, still eyeing me. Bella had buried her face in her hands and was obviously not going to say anything soon. So I did what I thought was best.

"Cullen called," I said, my voice acid.

The gunbelt dropped from Charlie's outstretched hand and landed with a loud thud on the kitchen floor. There was a little hiccough coming from Bella's direction. Otherwise the kitchen was completely silent.

For exactly five seconds.

"WHAT?" Chalie yelled, having almost exact the same reaction as I did minutes before. He fixated his eyes on Bella, then on me. Bella. Me. Several emotions danced over his face, all from confusion to fury. His eyes finally settled on me, demanding answers.

"He called her just now," I said, without covering the distaste in my voice.

Charlie looked like he was about to fire a hundred questions, but he stopped when he caught Bella's eyes. They stared at each other for a few, long seconds. I knew Charlie was searching for zombie-Bella to return.

Bella jumped to her feet at a surprising speed. "Dinner!" she exclaimed before she hurried over to the fridge and started scrambling around inside.

Charlie opened his mouth, but closed it again without a sound, looking like a stranded fish. Bella was burying herself in frozen hamburgers, tomatoes and cucumber. I turned to look at Charlie, and our eyes met at the same time. Without another word, we stood up simultaneously and I followed Charlie out of the kitchen and out on the front porch. Bella either didn't notice that we left, or she was ignoring us steadily.

As I stepped out on the front porch after Charlie, I closed the door firmly behind me and turned to face him. His arms were crossed tightly over his chest, but his eyes weren't angry. His face was slightly red though.

"What happened?" he said through clenched teeth.

I started to tell him, keeping my voice down. "I just came here after she got the call, so I didn't hear it. But she told me it was _him._" I snarled the last word, and to Charlie there was no doubt who I was talking about. "She was completely out of it when I got here. It looked like she was in shock, just staring blankly in front of her. But not like before," I added quickly. Charlie's eyes had grown alarmingly wide. "Not as bad as before. Just...shocked."

"But what did he want?" Charlie frowned. "Surely he didn't want to just talk to her?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "I don't think he ever got around to say what he wanted. I don't think it was a very long conversation."

Charlie sighed. "And on the worst possible timing," he muttered to himself.

"What do you mean?"

He sighed again. "I'm supposed to be on a conference in Seattle this weekend. Bloody recommendation. It's about those killing. We're supposed to take a course with the Seattle police on how to 'cooperate better'." He rolled his eyes. "As if I didn't have enough real work to spend my time on."

I felt a pang of guilt at the thought of Charlie overworking himself on something he had no control over, but it past quickly. If we were lucky, we would catch the redhead soon and all that would be over.

Charlie continued. "I'm supposed to leave today, and I'll be away the whole weekend. But I'm sure I shouldn't be leaving her like this. I'm afraid she might fall back into..." He didn't finish, but I understood all too well. He was still waiting for zombie-Bella to reappear.

"She wont," I said, my voice firm. She was better now. And the leech wasn't here. She was just shocked. It would pass. And she wasn't alone this time. "But there's probably one more thing you should know," I added.

"What?" Charlie was eyeing me wearily.

"I don't think she reacted this bad just because he _called_. I think it's because what he said. He said he 'needed to see her'".

Charlie's eyes widened, and again he seemed unable to speak for a moment.

"I don't know what he meant, that's all she said." I hurried to explain. "I don't know if that mean they're coming back or not. But don't worry. He wont see her," I stated firmly. I'd keep her safe. Away from all leeches.

Charlie looked around in the dull evening, as if he was expecting to see Edward standing there in the driveway. I noticed his fingers were stroking the place where his gun normally was, and the thought pleased me. It was obvious Charlie disliked him just as much as I did. I heard him mutter something more about a bloody bad timing.

"Well if that boy is lurking around here now I wont let her be alone for one second," he finally stated after a brief pause. "I wont risk her falling back to the way she was, not when she's doing this good. And that's mostly thanks to you, Jacob," he added, sending me a solemn look. We stood in silence for a few moments, Charlie thinking so hard I could almost hear his brain whine. When he spoke, his voice was low and deliberate. "Do you think it would be okay if Bella stayed with you and Billy for a few days? Until I get back? I don't want her to be here alone when that boy can be knocking on the door any second."

I blinked. Bella? Stay? My place? I almost started nodding with every limb, arms and legs. "Of course."

Charlie noticed the enthusiasm in my voice, and his eyes narrowed. "She sleeps in Rachel's room, of course."

Our eyes met, and I snorted. "We're only friends, Charlie." Reversed psychology, here I come. Suddenly I'm convincing everybody we were _just friends._

A faint smile played in his face. "Yes, you are." Then his smile faded and the frown was back on his face. "I'm going to make some phone calls," he muttered, before he strode past me back into the house.

When I entered the house, Charlie was on the phone and Bella was carrying plates to the table. I quickly went over to her and took the plates out of her hands to do it for her. She didn't meet my gaze, just turned back to the stove.

Charlie was talking to someone at work, and then to Billy. When he hung up for the last time, he turned around to face us. "That's settled then. You're staying with Jacob and Billy while I'm away."

Obviously he must have told Bella about this trip beforehand, because she didn't seem surprised he was going away.

"I can stay here," she offered halfheartedly, eyes on the food she was placing on the table.

She didn't seem very convincing, but still something inside me fell. Maybe she didn't want to stay with me for the weekend. Maybe she _wanted _to meet the leech.

"You're staying with Jacob and Billy," Charlie said firmly. She didn't object again, and I settled on hoping she'd just said that because she didn't want to be any trouble. It would not be the first time she did that.

We ate, Charlie and me being most of the driving force behind the conversation. Bella seemed to cheer up a little by the end, and Charlie seemed much more pleased when he went to retrieve his bags for his trip to Seattle. Bella went upstairs to pack a few things as well, but that didn't take long. While I sat downstairs in the kitchen waiting for her, I thought about the leech. Did he know that he'd just driven Bella into my open arms (and house) for the weekend? She would be my first girl-sleepover, ever. Suddenly I felt like I was in 4th grade again, when all the girls in my class were having sleepovers. Now I felt like a little kid from 4th grade having a girl over for my first slumber party. Great.

Bella joined me in short time, and so did Charlie. I said goodbye to Charlie, retrieved Bella's tiny bag and carried it out in the Rabbit for her. She followed soon after; goodbyes with Charlie were mostly a short affair. She got in the passenger seat as I got behind the wheel, and she waved to Charlie as I pulled out.

"Are you okay?" I asked her as we drove down the street. It was the first direct question I'd asked her since Charlie appeared.

She didn't answer immediately, and when I turned to look at her she was still thinking about what to say.

"It was a shock," she said truthfully. "But I think I'm okay."

I couldn't help but notice the way she looked out the window, as if she expected to see the leech materialize out of the thin air on the road in front of us. Even I sniffed the air coming through the open window a little extra. The air was reassuringly fresh.

"Don't worry," I tried to calm her. "You wont have to see him."

She smiled absentmindedly as she turned to stare out the window, and didn't say anything for the rest of the trip. I wondered what she was thinking about.

It hit me that I still didn't know what she thought of all this. I'd been so busy thinking about everything else I'd forgot to consider how this effected her other than in the obvious way. I looked over at her, sitting silently beside me. After the shock had past, maybe she was glad. It was _he_ who had dumped _her _(for the lack of a better word), not the opposite. And now he would come and steal her back, take her away. Would she let him? Be happy? I'd taken it for granted she was just as upset and repulsed as I was, afraid even. But maybe not. Maybe she was relieved. She had stayed with him before, spite everything. What about now? I felt an uneasy lump settle inside me, making a permanent residence.

I parked outside of the house and got out. Bella huddled herself together and looked over her shoulder. It was getting dark outside, I guess. She walked around to the front of the car, and I wrapped my arm around her shoulders simply because I couldn't help not to. She didn't seem to mind, she even rested her head on my shoulder.

"I need to leave for a little while and talk to the pack," I said carefully. They needed to know about this, the sooner the better.

"Is that really necessary?" Bella turned to look up at me. "I mean, it's not like he..."

She closed her mouth and didn't finish. Not like he...what? Was coming here? That was just it. What if he _was?_

"I need to talk to the guys," I repeated. Bella just nodded, and huddled closer to me as we walked inside.

"Where's Billy?" she said, as she peeked into the living room only to find it empty. That didn't worry me much.

"He's probably over at Sue's, he's been there the whole week. She's feeling a bit lonely," I said, before I realized my slip. Crap. Bella didn't know about Seth and Leah.

"Oh," was all she said. I looked down at her, but she didn't pay attention at all, she was occupied with dragging her bag to the middle of the living room. She probably thought it was only because of Harry. I hurried to change the subject.

"Are you sure you're cool with this? You wont grow all homesick on me will you?" I grinned over to her, and to my great satisfaction she smiled back. Nope, it didn't look like she minded at all.

"I like it here," she said, and turned to look around the room. It made me glad because she fit perfectly. To have her here for the weekend seemed more than right to me. She could stay forever.

"I'll take that," I offered, and took the bag from her hands. My fingers brushed against hers.

"I'll do it," she tried, but I ignored her easily. The bag was so small and light as a feather, but still she was dragging it against the floor having problems lifting it. I eased it up on my shoulder and carried it into Rachel's room for her.

It didn't take long before we heard Sue's car coughing outside (Ugh! The memories!) and soon after Billy appeared in the hallway.

"Hi there, Bella!" he greeted her. "I hear you'll be staying with us for the weekend."

"I guess I am," Bella smiled shyly beside me.

I eyed my dad, and waited with growing unease for him to mention something unpleasant. Make a comment about Edward, start asking questions, make her uncomfortable. But he didn't, he just started wheeling himself towards the kitchen to heat up some leftovers from last night's dinner.

"How's Sue doing?" I called as he disappeared around the corner. It was a safe way to hear how Sue was dealing with Seth and Leah without Bella getting suspicious about it.

"She's fine," dad called back. "Sue's a strong woman, always has been." Translation: she's dealing with it.

That reminded me. I really should go and talk to the pack, tell them about the Cullen's possible return. I glanced at the clock. It was starting to get late. I guess I could wait until Bella went to bed.

We settled on the couch in the living room, and for the rest of the evening dad was surprisingly laidback. He had always been easy going, but it surprised me that he didn't even make a comment about the phone call . He didn't mention Edward at all, just told Bella where she would find clean sheets to put on Rachel's bed. He even went to bed earlier than he normally did; saying goodnight before he wheeled himself into his room and closed the door behind him. I suspected our fathers to have a plot against us somehow. They did have a habit of gossiping like old women, as Bella put it once.

* * *

I was leaning against the door frame watching Bella put clean sheets on Rachel's old bed. It felt a bit weird having her here. She should be staying in my bed! She should be sleeping on my arm! But I guess that was out of the question.

"Do you have everything you need?" I asked.

"Sure. Everything's fine." She turned to smile at me briefly before she turned back and bent over the bed to tuck the sheets in. I had to look away to prevent myself from staring at the obvious. Now was not the best time to be picturing her naked.

"I'm going to step outside and talk to the others," I told her. "That'll go quick. But I have to step out again early tomorrow. I have patrols all morning."

"You should get some sleep then." Bella folded the bedspread over the bed before she turned around to stand in front of me. She was studying me with concerned eyes, a frown on her forehead.

"You worry too much," I said, and grinned down at her. My arms reached out on their own and I was hugging her to me before I'd even made a conscious decision to do it.

"I know," she said, and rested her head on my chest. I hoped she didn't hear my heart hammering against my ribcage. With her normal dull senses, she probably couldn't.

"Well, goodnight then. I guess," I stuttered out.

What a brilliant sentence. Way to show off some grammar, Jake. _Goodnight, I guess. _Either you wish her a good night, or you don't. Man, I really sounded stupid.

"Goodnight, then."

See, when she did that it just sounded cute. Not fair. I smiled down at her, locking her eyes with mine. Suddenly I felt a strong urge to kiss her, I felt like I simply had to do it. Would she mind if I did that now? Before I could decide, Bella stretched up in my arms and kissed my cheek, before she took a step away and smiled. I think I smiled back, but I'm not sure; my head felt suddenly very clouded. As I turned around and closed the door behind me, I felt my cheek burn. Right where her lips had been.

I shook my head and shoulders, trying to loosen up and get a grip. Enough sappyness. Focus. Cullens. Leech. Warn the pack. I felt agitation run through me at the thought of _him. _Nope, focusing wasn't difficult. Not tonight.

I stripped off on my way out and phased in the cover of the trees outside. They were all still there. Sam, Embry, Paul, Seth and Leah. At first they were surprised; they didn't expect to see me until next morning.

_We have a problem, _I told them and they all became instantly alert.

I let the memories from today flow towards them, focusing on what was most urgent. The phone call. The possible return of the Cullens. A series of different emotions ran though their heads as I replayed all the latest events. Shock. Rage. Surprise. Annoyance. Anger. Excitement. When I was done, there was a unusual silence in the air between us as everyone mulled over what they'd just heard. Paul was the first to make a comment.

_What's wrong with her? The leeches swarm around her like hyenas on dead meat._

His thoughts filled with images of the bloodsuckers that all had been after her. Edward. The Cullens. Laurent. Victoria. And now Edward again. There was something incomprehensible in his tone that I didn't like, as if he just didn't get _why_. Besides, he'd just compared Bella to carrion.

_That's not her fault, _I snarled. Or wait. Maybe it was, just a little bit. She _did _know what Cullen was and she hadn't cared. Still, it was wrong to put everything on her. But Paul had a point. They all seemed to end up around her somehow. The thought made me edgy.

_Thanks for telling us, Jacob,_ Sam though. He was brooding and he wasn't happy. _We're prepared at least, even though there's not much we can do about it. _

I disagreed. _We'll keep a closer watch on Bella. _

_True. But we're keeping a pretty close watch on her as it is._

_Or at least you do, _Embry grinned. Leave it to him to always be in good spirits. I felt Seth laughing a little as well, and I couldn't keep from smiling myself. It was difficult to be concerned when I knew she was spending the night with me.

_She what? _both Embry and Seth yelped out simultaneously in surprise. I felt Leah roll her eyes.

_I'll see you in the morning, _I hurried to say before I quickly phased back. Now was not the time for explanations or jokes. This was _supposed _to be my night off.

I turned and trotted back towards the house while pulling on my cutoffs. As I walked inside, I heard Bella roll around in her bed. She wasn't asleep, I could hear it. The sheets fluttered. I made sure to close the front door loudly behind me so that she would know I was back and didn't have to wonder whether I was back or not. Not that she was wondering. She probably wasn't.

After a quick visit to the bathroom I pulled on a clean pair of sweats and laid down on my bed. I stretched out on my back, closed my eyes and tried to sleep. It didn't work. Normally I was dead meat before I hit the mattress, but not today. My room was wall-to-wall with Rachel's, to Bella, and suddenly it felt incredibly weird. My heart was doing this funny elated bungodance that I couldn't seem to be able to calm. Bella moved again in her bed, and the sound was so close it was almost as if she was right here in bed with me. Except she wasn't.

I settled on listening to her her heartbeats. Hers weren't acting normal, either. Suddenly her heart would start raging, before it settled back to a regular rhythm. And then it would start raging again. For one second I stupidly thought this was the same reaction as I had, because she was maybe happy and elated and nervous to be here in the room next to me. But then I realized this was just the way her heartbeats acted when she was afraid. She was afraid.

A birds wing brushed silently against a tree outside my window, and I heard her breath hitch at the sound. Her heart started raging again before it settled. Bella was afraid? Of the leech? The though made me satisfied in some sick way. But I didn't want her to be afraid. I lay there for a few minutes more, listening to her raging heart. Now and then her breath hitched. She wasn't crying, was she? At the thought of her crying I couldn't stand it anymore, and I eased myself out of the bed. I opened the door to my room and walked silently down the hallway to my sister's room. Dad wouldn't hear anything, he'd probably been out for a while.

I hesitated outside before I raised my hand and knocked quietly on the door. Her heart jumped mile high before it started raging again, this time more than ever. Jeez, did she really think I would let anything happen to her?

"Bella, it's only me. Can I come in?" I kept my voice down, but loud enough for her to hear it through the door.

Her heart settled again, and she exhaled. I heard some ruffling from the bedspread and some creaking from the bed as she sat up. She cleared her voice before she answered, but her voice was still hoarse.

"Yeah, sure."

I silently opened the door, not sure what to find. She was sitting in the middle of the bed, huddled under the cover. After one look at her I immediately knew she'd been crying. But not much, and she was obviously trying to hide it so I let it be. I walked in and closed the door behind me. I hesitated by the door, not really sure what to do.

"I could hear you heart flying from the other side of the house," I explained.

She smiled ruefully, even though there was really no reason for her to be rueful. I made my legs do as I told them to and walked over to sit beside her on the bed. Just at the edge. This felt strangely intimate, like I was intruding her privacy. But I couldn't just let her be frightened all night.

"Relax." I said. "Nothing will happen here. We'll protect you. I promise."

She sighed and shook her head slightly. "I'm...I'm not afraid of _him."_she said. "I just don't know how to...how to meet him again."

"You wont have to meet him again."

She didn't reply, and a long silence stretched out between us. I noticed her legs were shaking slightly under the bedspread. I put my hand over her knees to calm her, and she sent me another rueful smile.

"Just try to relax," I said quietly, trying to calm her. "Get some sleep, okay? You'll feel better if you do."

Bella sighed. I could see she was tired. Maybe this was my queue to leave.

"I'll let you sleep."

I squeezed her knee lightly before I got up on my feet and walked to the door. Just as I put my hand on the doorknob, Bella cleared her throat.

"Are you tired?" she wondered.

There was something in her tone. Not nerves, not embarrassment. Understanding. Like if she understood and acknowledged that I would leave because I was tired and wanted to sleep.

"Not really." I said. Lie. Fifteen minutes ago, I'd been useless. Now, I was back to shamelessly alert. What did she mean by that? Did she want me to stay? Probably not, but I wouldn't let something as inconsequential as sleep come between the possibility. "Are you?"

"I wont be able to sleep," she said, shaking her head rapidly back and forth. What did she mean by that? That sentence didn't offer anything to guide me to what she wanted. Stay? Leave? I chose a safe solution. _Avoid. _

"You should get some rest."

Terrific, Jacob. Try to talk her out of spending the night with you. Clever move.

"We could just talk for a bit," she suggested. "If you're not going to sleep either, I mean"

Talk. Sleep. Feed the ducks. I was all too willing. I'd run to the moon and make her cheese doodles, if she'd asked me.

It turned out she was tired after all. And so was I. She'd just wanted some company I guess. So it didn't really become a lot of talking. It became better. I ended up with Bella resting her head on my arm. In bed, with her. Under the bedspread this time. Both of us. I don't think I'd ever felt happier.


	6. Tail and ears

**Tail and ears**

**

* * *

**_It turned out she was tired after all. And so was I. She'd just wanted some company I guess. So it didn't really become a lot of talking. It became better. I ended up with Bella resting her head on my arm. In bed, with her. Under the bedspread this time. Both of us. I don't think I'd ever felt happier. _**

* * *

**

She stayed on my arm the whole night through. At first I was so elated I could barely lay still. I wanted to brag and show off and tell the world I was in bed with Bella Swan. Especially that Newton bloke. I wanted to videotape it and mail it to him. I wanted to zoom in on her face when she mumbled my name, which she did all three times, and play it for him in slow motion. But at the same time I didn't want anyone else to see, to know, to feel what I did when she lay here so close to me. This felt so private somehow, and again it felt like our friendship had moved to another level.

_Friendship._ Friends don't snuggle into each other in their sleep, or say each others names. Right? Just to check I pictured Embry laying here on my arm. His hand on my chest, sleeping soundly against my neck. I immediately stopped; that was just weird. Nope. Normal 'just friends' don't sleep like this. Not like Bella did. Not like this. The thought made it impossible for me to sleep because I couldn't keep the grin off my face long enough for my face to relax.

Early in the morning, I heard my dad move in his room. He would get up soon and I knew I should get up too. After stalling another twenty minutes I started to ease my arm away from Bella. She snuggled closer and didn't let go of my arm. Man, this wasn't fair. Finally I managed to loosen her grip without waking her, and crossed the room with silent footsteps. I hoped my dad wouldn't notice I was stepping out of Rachel's room instead of my own.

Dad was already sitting by the table in the living room, drinking his usual first cup of coffee. When I entered the living room, he moved his attention to me and sent me a pointed look. I stared back blankly at first, but then he moved his eyes to Rachel's door and then back to me. Jep, he'd noticed.

"Oh come _on,_" I whined. "We're friends, dad. She couldn't sleep."

"Didn't Charlie specify that you would sleep on separate rooms?"

"Nooo," I dragged. "He specified that Bella would sleep on Rachel's room, which she has."

Dad sent me another pointed look.

"Come on," I said again, and then lowered my voice. "She couldn't sleep. She was frightened, all right? She was frightened that _he_ would come here." Maybe that last part wasn't completely true, but it was close enough. I couldn't help the slight snarl coming out of my lips as I referred to the leech, and I knew Billy understood I wasn't talking about Charlie anymore. "I just went to talk to her and she wanted me to stay." I shrugged. "We're _friends_, what's the big deal?" Here I am again, trying to convince another dad we're 'just friends'.

Dad sighed and muttered something so low even I had problems hearing it. It sounded like "For now". What did he mean by that? That we were friends 'for now', or that this was okay 'for now'? Maybe both. He started wheeling himself back in the direction of the kitchen to refill his coffee.

"You know I don't have a problem with it," he said. "But Charlie do, and I'm not lying to him if he asks. If this is going to continue, I'd consider getting a bullet-proof west if I were you. But I guess what Charlie doesn't know wont hurt him."

I rolled my eyes, but had to grin to myself by the smoothness of everything as I got out to get the newspaper.

When I got back inside, Bella was peeking out of her bedroom.

"Hi Bells," I grinned at her and handed the newspaper to my dad who was back in the living room with his second cup. Newspaper and coffee. That would keep him occupied for the next half an hour.

"Good morning," Bella replied, greeting both me and dad as she stepped out of her room and closed the door behind her. She'd put on jeans and a green shirt and she was just as pretty as always. I'd kissed that girl. I'd spent the night with that girl. She'd whispered my name in her sleep. She'd _snuggled_ close to me. Suddenly, I was back in bragging-mode. I almost turned to look out of the window, expecting that Newton jerk to appear, pressing his ugly nose up against the window. I wanted to show him a little show off dance.

"There's breakfast in the kitchen," dad said, smiling brightly to Bella and taking a zip of his coffee before he disappeared completely behind the newspaper. It was almost a little too smooth, a little too deliberate, as if he knew I'd been hoping for him to do just that. Disappear behind the newspaper, leave the kids alone. Now I was absolutely positive our fathers were plotting against us. But it was not like I complained. This game was three on one, the one being Bella. I'd take all the help I could get.

Bella had noticed nothing out of the ordinary, and she followed me into our little kitchen like any other day. I didn't really have time to sit down and eat, so I just grabbed three slices of bread and started swallowing. Bella sat down on one of the chairs while eyeing me doubtfully.

"You know you're supposed to chew that," she said as I grabbed another bite.

"Don't 'ave 'ime,"I mumbled, before I gushed it all down with some water. "I have patrols. You'll be okay here, right?"

I walked over to her, hoping for a goodbye hug at least, when she stood up from her chair as well.

"I'll follow you out," she said and started walking towards the living room. "Make sure you don't choke on that bread before you reach the front door". _Ha ha._

I said goodbye to my dad as I past him, and he didn't even peek up from behind the paper when he answered. This was definitely still a part in the plot he had with Charlie. Dad probably wouldn't have peered out from the newspaper even if I actually grabbed Bella and start sucking on her face right here in the living room. Maybe I should test that some time. Maybe not. The thought made my cheeks burn so I quickly dropped it and hurried after Bella out in the hallway.

Bella followed me outside, and closed the door behind her. It was a chilly morning, but the day would be warm. There was a calm breeze in the air. I grabbed her hand to prevent her from freezing, and she squeezed back lightly. My heart started wobbling.

"Will you be all right here?" I turned to look down at her. She was so tiny.

"Yes. But Jake, there's really no reason for me to stay here all day. Billy will just get sick of me walking over his feet all the time."

"Shut up, Bella."

"It's not that I don't want to be here, I really do. But I don't want to be in the way."

"You're not."

"I could just go home while you're out running. And there is really no reason for me to be spending the whole weekend here, occupying Rachel's bedroom."

"You're staying here with me" I said. "Or I'll stay with you. And Rachel isn't using that room, so why not? You can't go home alone. What if _he_ get's into your room in the middle of the night or something?" She knew who I meant. I shuddered by the thought of the bloodsucker up in her bedroom.

Bella got a funny look on her face, a sort of mixture of embarrassment and guilt. Why would she feel guilty, I wondered. Then it hit me and then I wanted to puke.

"Oh," I said flatly. That didn't really start to cover it. "It wouldn't be a first, then." My voice sounded flat and emotionless. I turned my face away so that I wouldn't have to see her confirming nod and have nightmares about it later.

So she'd slept with him. I'd been thinking it before, suspected it. Before all this, when we were just hanging out in the garage, just being Jacob and Bella. They'd been together for a long time. It would be normal, I'd guessed, then. But suddenly everything had changed. I'd phased, learned about wolves, about vampires, about him. And I'd figured anything like that would have been impossible. Impossible. He would have crushed her.

Maybe he had. I wondered how badly she must have been injured. I tried to think back, to recall any past events before we started to hang out in my garage. Maybe a concerned phone call from Charlie, or Billy telling me that the Chief's daughter had accidentally broken an arm, a leg, a rib... I came up with none. She must have been good at hiding it. And Bella was always so clumsy, always tripping. I guess explaining a bruise or broken rib wouldn't be difficult for her. Maybe she really wasn't such a big klutz after all. The thought made me shudder.

I thought of him with her, _that _way. How he must have persuaded her. Dazzled her in his own creepy way. Blinded her by his words. Just the thought of him inside her. I could feel the acid build up in my throat.

"Jake? Your hands are shaking."

I looked down and she was right. I seriously needed to calm down. She was here with me now. No more, I told myself. No more will he get to her. And then I made a promise to myself never to let him close to her again. But first, I needed to get out of here and calm down.

"I think Emery's calling for me," I lied, avoiding her searching eyes. My voice sounded funny. "I should get going. I'll see you later".

And then I dropped her hand, turned my back to her and took off into the forest, still unable to meet her gaze. My lie was heavy in the air between us. I felt her eyes burning wholes in the back of my t-shirt as I left. I reached the end of the woods, and phased just to get the trembling out of my body.

I didn't think of the others that might be out running as well before it was too late. If there was one thing I didn't need it was for them to be poking around in my head right now. To my great surprise, my head was only interrupted by Seth and Leah. They were both trotting along each side of the patrol borders. They still weren't able to phase back; it normally took about two weeks before anyone managed that.

_Where is everyone else? _I asked.

_It's Quil, _Seth explained. _He's turning any minute now. Sam and Embry are over there talking to him I think. _

I turned on the spot and started running in the direction of Quil's house.

_You can just as well stay here, _Leah pointed out. _You wont do any good there anyway. _

Stuck with miss sunshine. Yeey. Lucky me.

_So she slept with the leech, huh? _Leah was poking through my brain already.

_Shut up, Leah._

_Guess you didn't like that much._

_Shut up._

_You can't have been surprised, really. They did go out for quite a while. _

There was a new edge to her tone I'd never felt before. Was it...understanding? My resistance crumbled and I finally gave in.

_But he's a vamp! I thought it was obvious that they didn't. Impossible. _

_A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. _

She sounded sad. I decided I didn't want to know what she meant by that, so I let it be.

Seth had turned silent, observing the conversation with huge eyes. Leah kept mulling over what she'd just found out, still being in that strangely nostalgic, strangely caring mood I'd never seen in her before.

_Does it really matter to you? s_he finally asked. _Whether she did or not? _

_Of course not, _I thought immediately. I didn't think any less of _her_, not in any way. I loved her. I'd never be able to think any less of her. If she had been with normal boyfriends in the past, that would have been natural. That didn't matter to me. That wasn't the thing that kept choking me now. It was the thought of _him_ I couldn't stand. _Him_ forcing himself upon her, tricking her, hurting her. And then leaving her. And now he was coming back._ I just don't like it. _

_Of course you don't. Who likes to think about the one they're in love with being with someone else. _

I had a strange feeling this no longer was all about me and Bella.

_Thing is, Jacob, I get it, _Leah snapped sounding more like her normal self. _But you're just going to have to deal with it, okay? Stop acting like a baby. Move on. That was all in the past. _

_Right, _I thought dumbly, stunned by this helpful not-snarling Leah. And she was right, I knew that.

_Besides, she did ask you to stay last night, _Leah smiled, after poking some more. Leah actually smiled. I was stunned. _That has to count for something._

I was silent for a moment thinking about what she'd just said. Then I felt a grin spread on my face and suddenly I felt happy about the whole thing. Bella _had_ wanted me to stay last night. Nothing else mattered to me. Leah nodded content in the back of my mind.

Absentmindedly I had continued my light jog in the general direction of Quil's house. It wasn't that far away. Suddenly, the mulling mumble of private thoughts that stretched between the three of us was interrupted by another screaming presence. His thoughts were terrified and confused and angry at the same time. Through his mind I could see the backside of a familiar red house, the edge of a familiar forest, and two huge paws.

_Quil! _I cried out inside my head. I did it without thinking and I felt him cringe. Through his eyes I could see the dirty ground come a little closer. _Quil, _I said again, calmer this time. His mind filled with confusion.

_Jacob? _

He thought he'd gone mad.

_You're not mad, _I tried to calm him.

_What is happening to me? _He was on the breaking point, staring at the huge paws in front of him, either about to freak out or break down. I recognized the feeling.

Now he was certain he'd gone mad.

_You're not going mad, _I thought again, all the while trying to fill his head with calm.

_Then why am I talking to you inside my head? Where are you? _What _are you?_

_I'm here. _

I'd reached the forest edge behind the house of the Ateara's. It was familiar ground; Quil, Embry and I had spent numerous of hours here playing when we were kids. Quil was halfway crouching down on the forest floor in front of me, a few meters away from the house. He didn't see me, but he could see himself through my mind. Slowly, he turned his head and stared straight at me, his eyes enormous.

He was big, but not as big as me or Sam. He looked like himself, sort of, like all of us did in some way. His limbs were compact and well fitted, not long and lanky like Embry was...

_Hey! Shut up, Black._

Embry's presence appeared in my head just then, just in time to hear my comment. He was closely followed by Sam.

_Shut up yourself, _I replied._ You know I'm right. Quil always was the the sturdy one._

_I guess you're right. _I felt Embry appear at my side, walking up to stand next to me. Quil moved his gaze to Embry, and eyes widened even more. Sam remained somewhere in the shadows, out of sight. _But I'm not __lanky_, Embry pressed.

_Not anymore. But you were before. Remember that old woman who thought you were a girl?_

_No. _

_Yes you do. In the queue outside Blockbuster. You and Quil and I. She said you were the tallest ten__ year old _girl _she'd ever seen._

_That's ages ago. _

_Still._

_It was only because my hair was long._

_Whatever makes you happy. But don't be sad. She called you a _pretty_ girl at least._

_Oh shut up, Black._

Quil was staring at us, wide eyed. His ears were pressed back flat against his head.

_What? _He thought loudly as he heard what I'd just been thinking. _I have ears? I mean, on top of my head? _

He actually turned his eyes upwards, trying to get a glimpse of them.

_Good thinking, Quil_, I grinned. _Yes, you do have ears. Most wolves do. _

_Wolves? _

He stopped trying to look at his own ears, and stared back at the two of us standing in front of him._ Is that what you are? What...I am?_

Slowly, gradually, we started to tell him everything. The legends. The pack. The speed. The vamps. Everything. Sam approached from the shadows to stand beside us, and after a while, the full pack had joined us as well. Everyone helped filling in empty spaces and holes, making the stories complete and full. When we'd told it all once, we started over and continued like this until he knew everything by heart. It was a lot to take in.

Quil listened with huge eyes and ears. He moved his eyes around the circle studying each and every one of us, his gaze resting more often at me and Embry than the rest. It had been a long time since we had been able to be friends, the three of us. Gradually the worst shock started to settle. He was confused, and repulsed, and grossed out at first, but he was talking it surprisingly well. Much better than I had. When we told him about the vampires he was both grossed out and in denial at the same time, but when we showed him the fun parts, as in killing vampires, he quickly became excited. And while thinking about vampires, it wasn't a huge leap before the thoughts started mulling around Bella.

_And she found out before me?_ _Just by guessing it?_ _And I didn't? That just sucks, man!_

And finally, Embry and I did the thing I'd most wanted us to do the whole time; we took Quil out on his first run.

_Dude, you sounds like you're going to walk your new dog for the first time or something._

_Sorry. _

_I mean, I'm no more dog than y... WOOW!_

And then he zoomed past us and disappeared into the trees in front of us, for the first time experiencing the best thing about this whole mess. _The speed. _Embry and I easily caught up with him; he didn't get far. We found him busy tracing his own tail a short kilometer north.

The three of us ran for hours. Hours and hours. I remembered the first time_ I'_d phased. It was a big contrast too this. For some reason no one really knew, I'd been able to phase back after only a few hours, in much less time than what was normal. I'd ended up in a heap on the forest floor crying my eyes out. I'd been completely broken down. My whole world had been ruined. Everything. I'd been torn to pieces. It had been a pain.

Quil, on the other hand, was handling this completely different. He was totally thrilled. He was so relieved to finally know what was going on and so incredibly happy to have his friends back his whole head was buzzing.

_I was going crazy! _He explained briefly. _Not knowing. And then even _Bella _found out before me, and she's not even a werewolf! Oh man, look at this!_

He lunged forward in the air, for a moment distracted by his own ability to jump.

The best thing was, he didn't even tire of it. Not even after many hours with jumping and dragging and running and sprinting and wrestling did he tire. He didn't sit down and even try to wrap his head around it. Or maybe I should say worst thing.

_Wow, look at this! Look what I can do! I bet you can't do that, _the buzzing mosquito that was Quil cried out excitedly inside my head. He'd managed to flung himself to the side and roll around two times on the dirty forest ground.

_And look at this, wow look! This is awesome! _Quil buzzed. He'd finally found out how to scratch his ear with his back paw. _Man, I have a tail!_

And that's how the day went. Sigh.

When I phased back, the silence inside my head felt better than ever. Quil was still buzzing around in the forest when I left, racing up and down along the coastline with Seth. I was really happy he was able to take this whole mess in such a positive way, but man if I was tired. One thing was that we'd been running for hours, but that wasn't the main reason. A good six hours with "_Look at this! What is that? See what I can do!" _can seriously mess up your head. I had missed him, and it was good to have him in on the secret, but right now it was good not to have him inside my head.

After I' d pulled on my clothes and tied the leather band back around my ankle, I started to walk back home. For a while I had all forgotten that Bella would be there waiting for me, and it was a very happy surprise when I remembered. Some Bella-company was just what I needed right now after a day with the buzzing mosquito.

When I got the house into view I was surprised when I saw her sitting on the front porch waiting for me. It was a warm day, and she was sitting on the front steps resting her head against the wall. My movements caught her eye, and her head snapped up. When our eyes met, at first she seemed happy but then she frowned. For a brief second I wondered what was wrong, but then I remembered. _I _was wrong. I'd been the one to walk out on her this morning.

The day had been so filled with Quil I had completely forgotten that Bella and I didn't part on a god tone. All right, I'd left her very abruptly and unfriendly. After my conversation with Leah I'd sort of realized I'd been acting like a douchebag. I would just have to come to terms with whatever happened between her and the leech. It was okay. I'd forgotten for a moment that Bella didn't know that yet.

She stood up from the stairs and started to walk over to meet me. She looked troubled.

"Jacob" she said when she reached me, her eyes unsure and embarrassed. She stopped in front of me, and shifted her weight from one foot to the other while staring at my feet. "About before, when you left. It's not like you think..."

In one step I'd reached her and lifted her up in a tight hug. I didn't want her to give any explanation. I was the one who had acted like a dickhead, not her. I felt the air gush out of her in surprise against my shoulder.

"I'm sorry I left so abruptly," I said against her shoulder. I hoped she noticed my double apology. _I'm sorry I reacted like that. That's none of my business. _I pulled back so that I could look at her face and grinned widely down at her. "How has your day been?"

Bella measured me with unsure eyes, as if she wasn't sure exactly what to make of this. "Good" she finally said. "I've made dinner"

I pretended to drop her and head straight for the kitchen at the word 'dinner', and she started laughing as my intention had been. "Hey! The food isn't running anywhere" she laughed.

And everything was good again.

* * *

_A.N: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! Please let me know what you think:)_


	7. Plot

** Plot**

* * *

Bella and I spent most of the evening on the couch in the living room. Bella asked a lot about my day, and it was a pain not to be able to talk to her freely. I couldn't tell her about Quil at all, and I had to just ramble on about how we'd been running a lot. Man, this was killing me.

Dad had removed himself completely from the living room, suspiciously enough. In a very obvious manner he'd occupied the kitchen table, once again burying his nose in the newspaper. I noticed it was the same newspaper he'd been reading this morning. Normally he just flipped through it and threw it away as soon as he'd scrutinized the sports section, but today it looked like he was trying to memorize every word. He acted like he was going to perform the news to us by heart, rehearsing like a debutant actor. Wow, our dads must really want me and Bella to mingle. Maybe they thought some privacy could make miracles. I suspected Charlie wanted to make Bella forget Edward had ever called her by setting her up with me. But this was so obviously a part of their plot it was on the edge of ridiculous. Even Bella noticed. Somewhere during a dimwitted commercial break she leaned closer to me and moved her mouth to my ear.

"Why is Billy sitting alone in the kitchen?" she whispered, only for me to hear. She eyed the doorway into the kitchen with confused, worried eyes.

"I don't know why he's in the kitchen" I said, loud enough for my dad to hear it. "He's practicing being a senile old man, I think."

"I heard that," dad said, his voice floating out the doorway. Bella smacked my shoulder and I laughed and hugged her closer to me. She smiled despite herself and leaned her head to rest on my shoulder as she turned her attention back to the TV.

Dad stayed in the kitchen with his over-read newspaper the whole evening before he went to bed at nine p.m. _Gee. Thanks dad. You could try to maybe make it a bit more obvious. _It wasn't that I didn't appreciate that he was trying to be subtle. Or invisible. I did. But then Bella and I weren't exactly playing tonsil-hockey on this couch. Oops. Maybe I shouldn't think too closely about that right now. Down boy.

It got late, and it got even more late, and eventually Bella's head fell down on my shoulder. When I looked down her eyes were closed, but she opened them the next second and her eyelids jolted back up. She quickly lifted her head off my shoulder, shook her head a little and blinked furiously before she turned her attention back to the TV.

"Are you tired?" I asked her, a little amused. Did she really think all that would pass unnoticed? Of course she was tired. She just fell asleep on me!

"No."

_Yeah, right. _"You're a bad liar Bella."

"I'm not tired."

She continued to stare blankly at the TV, blinking and straining to keep her eyes open. Then she yawned hugely, and I could even hear her jaw creaking. I sent her a look.

"Okay, maybe a little bit" she confessed.

I continued to study her, amused, as she struggled to stay awake. Her eyelids would start dropping, and then drop some more, before she would shake herself awake, blinking rapidly. And then her eyelids would start dropping again. It didn't last two full minutes before her head fell down on my shoulder. This time, she didn't wake up.

Huh. Was it now I was supposed to do something? Carry her to her room, tuck her in? I had no idea. But we couldn't just sit like this all night. This couch wasn't _that _comfy. But I couldn't just lift her up and carry her to bed either, could I. Could I? Too much soap opera. Right?

But maybe I should. It wasn't like _I _minded. Gently, trying not to wake her I started to ease away from her so that I could free my arm and lift her up.

Bella's head jolted back up, almost giving me a heart attack, her eyes wide as dinner plates.

"I'm not asleep!" she announced to no one, her voice somewhere between sleep and hysteria.

_Gee._ "I can see that," I said, leaning a little away from her, feeling the surprise on my face. My heart was still hammering. She knew how to play pikaboo, all right. "Maybe you _should_ go to bed, Bella, you're starting to freak me out."

She exhaled heavily and rubbed her eyes with her fists. "I think you're right."

"I'm always right."

She smacked my shoulder again before she got up from the couch.

I followed her over to Rachel's room, trying my goddamned hardest not to stare as she walked in front of me. I hesitated by the door. She probably didn't want me to stay tonight. She didn't seem afraid now. _I _wanted to stay, of course, but that was another matter.

"Well, err, goodnight then". _What's up with me and corny goodnights these days?_

"Goodnight, Jacob", Bella quickly stretched up to hug me goodnight, kissing my cheek again just as she'd done last night. She stroked her hand across my face before she turned her back to me and closed the door. I had to tell my feet to leave twice before they obeyed.

I laid down on my bed, my whole body purring with happiness. If only she could stay. Stay here with me forever. Stay all day, sleep beside me every night. I heard her shuffle over to the bathroom, and waited until she'd gone back to her room before I went to brush my teeth. When I came back to my room and fell back on my bed, still buzzing, she'd already gone to bed. I could hear her breathing on the other side of the wall.

I lay like that for maybe ten minutes, halfheartedly trying to sleep. Then I wondered if I should go knock on her door, see if she was okay. If I could do that. Maybe she wanted me to come over tonight as well. I know I wanted to. Or was that pushing it too far? She'd wanted me to stay with her last night. She'd asked me to stay. Should I go and check on her? I held my breath and listened. Her heartbeats were calm and steady. If her heart could only flutter a little bit. Then I would have an excuse to go and check on her. But no. She seemed calm and completely un-frightened.

But she might want to see me anyway. I decided to go and check on her. I sat up in my bed, but then fell back down and slammed my head against the pillow. I couldn't do that. That would just come out all wrong. It would only seem I was pushing her or something.

I heard Bella heave around in her bed on the other side of the wall. Last night had been different. She'd needed me to be there then. Maybe she didn't now. Bella heaved around again, the bed creaking, and her heart calm and annoyingly steady. I tried to settle with being happy she wasn't afraid tonight. It didn't work much. I almost got up five times but then changed my mind before I'd even managed to leave the bed.

Twenty minutes later I was still lying on my back, still staring up at the ceiling. Still happy. Still emotionally undecided. Bella would probably fall asleep any moment. I'd been stalling way too long. There was no point now. Lost cause. It was all just stupid anyway. Bella shuffled again around in her bed, and it creaked loudly. I slammed my head back against the pillow. Stupid.

The bed creaked again, and I heard her feet hit the floor as she sat up. What was she doing? Maybe she was going to the bathroom again. I listened to her footsteps as she shuffled to her door, and then tried to open it without making too much noise. She didn't have to worry about my dad; she wouldn't be able to wake him unless she started hammering on his door. He was a sound sleeper.

I listened as she shuffled her way down the hallway towards the bathroom, almost tripping on the carpet twice. But then, to my great surprise she walked past the bathroom. She didn't even stop and hesitate outside the door, but continued down the hallway.

I should have gotten it then, but I didn't. My brain started working backwards and I was still wondering what she was doing when she stopped outside my door. Just outside. I could hear her. She hesitated, and then she knocked very quietly. What, was she coming here? I rolled over on my stomach and stared at the closed door. Was she knocking to get in _here_?

"Jacob?" she whispered, very quietly.

I felt the shock on my numb face. I think my mouth might have fallen open but I wasn't sure. By brain froze, unable to respond at first.

"Errrghm?" I finally managed to squeeze out.

I watched in daze the handle gently being pushed down, and the door opened. Bella appeared in the doorway, her eyes tired. She was wearing the same sweats and thin t-shirt she wore last night. I tried not to focus too much on that.

"Oh, I'm sorry I woke you," she whispered. "I thought you were awake".

She'd probably heard my head slamming into the pillow numerous times. I guess she wasn't completely deaf then. I wondered what my face must look like. It was a luck it was dark in here, so that Bella could mix up whatever was on my face with confusion. I felt like a stranded goldfish, gaping around.

"I'll just go back," she whispered quietly and started backtracking, bringing the door with her. That got my brain going.

"Wait!" I whispered loudly, and she hesitated. I scrambled up in a sitting position and closed my mouth. "You don't have to go." _Stay stay stay stay stay stay._ "What is it?" Maybe she needed something. Or maybe she was frightened again. I didn't know.

"I...I just couldn't sleep." Bella shrugged.

I think my mouth might have fallen back down. What a charming impression I must be doing on her. Bella studied my face in the darkness.

"Err...I'll just go back," she reeled quietly, and hurried to backtrack some more.

"No, wait!" I whispered again, a little louder than necessary, almost scrambling off the bed completely. Bella froze again, and look over at me with a regretful look upon her face. Great, now she regretted she'd even came here. Way to charm the ladies, Jake.

"Don't go," I whispered. "You surprised me, that's all."

Bella looked doubtful.

I sighed. "Come on," I nodded my head for her to get in. "Close the door."

She hesitated for one moment before she did as I said. After closing the door quietly behind her, she turned back to face me. She looked like she didn't really know why she was here. She lifted her shoulders in a shrug as if she needed to explain herself.

"I just couldn't sleep," she said again.

"Do you want to stay here?" I asked her solemnly. _Please say yes please say yes._

"Yes," she said.

I scooped over to the far side of the bed faster than lightening, making room for her to lie down beside me. She did, taking the blanket with her from the foot of my bed. Oh, that's right. She might want a blanket, I didn't think about that. I didn't use a blanket, didn't need one. She lay down on her back beside me, huddled under the blanket, staring up into the ceiling. Beside me, sharing my pillow. It made me so happy I could sing.

"I like it here," she said. "I like your room."

I propped my head up on my arm and studied her. Silly Bella. She just couldn't see things as they were, could she? "Did it ever occur to you that it's _me _you like?" I said. _Let's face it, Bella. You love me. _Hey, it was only true.

I expected her to scowl or smack my shoulder like she usually did, but she just smiled.

"When you're not being so cocky, I like you too," she admitted. "Not just your room."

I rolled around on my stomach, propped up against both of my elbows. Bella turned to look at me, squinting a little in the darkness, trying to make out my shape.

"So you couldn't sleep, huh?" I said. I almost asked if it was because she worried about Cullen, but hey, would I be the one to drag him headfirst into this conversation? Nope.

Bella shook her head.

"Do you really think you'll be able to sleep here with me talking holes in your head like a Swiss cheese?" I wondered.

Bella smiled. "It actually helps."

"So I'm so boring you fall asleep as soon as I open my mouth? Gee, thanks for the heads up."

Bella started laughing, as my intention had been, and my heart did a double take when she closed her eyes and rested in close to my side. Her nose brushed against my arm.

"You make me feel better, Jake," she mumbled. I could hear she was getting tired. It made me happy that she could relax so easily with me.

"Are you avoiding my question?" I asked her, trying not to grin too much.

"Maybe." Bella peeked up at me through one eye, a smile playing on her lips.

I laughed silently, and turned around to lie on my back next to her. We lay like that for a while, me on my back with Bella resting by my side. She had curled her legs up under the blanket, her face level with my shoulder. When I turned to look at her, her eyes were closed. She was still chewing on her bottom lip though, so she wasn't asleep. I wondered what she was thinking about.

"How can you sleep when you keep biting your lip like that?" I whispered. My voice seemed loud in the quiet room.

"How can you sleep with that grin on your face?" she whispered back, without even opening her eyes. Even in the darkness, even with her eyes closed, she knew I was still grinning. Bella opened her eyes to look at me, and her eyes met mine. "And how can you sleep without a blanket?" she asked.

I shook my head. "I don't need one. I don't get cold, remember."

"But still," Bella said, closing her eyes again. "It's nice to have a blanket."

I chuckled quietly, and she moved her head a little bit closer. "I like sleeping here," she said again. "I like sleeping with you."

For one second it was quiet, as I approached what she'd just said. The next second her eyes flew open. "I mean to sleep here. With you. No, beside you. Like in your room. Here. Not...just..."

Then she noticed my expression. "Oh shut up, Jacob," she said dryly as I doubled over with amused laughter. Yes, Bella definitely knew how to put things. When I turned to look at her she was already scowling at me which only made me laugh harder. She snorted and turned around in the bed, her arms crossed tightly over of her chest.

"You know what I mean," she said sourly.

I had to let her sulk for the while it took for my grin to settle into a regular smile.

"Yes, Bella, I know what you mean," I finally said, still chuckling a little, as I turned to look at her. When her eyes met mine, her look was resentful at first, but it didn't last long until she was smiling. She laughed a little as she closed her eyes, and huddled closer to me. Soon, her breaths became more even, and I felt her body relax completely next to mine. I rested my chin on top of her head just before she fell asleep.

When I woke the next morning, the first thought that ran through my head was that I'd never ever slept this good before. I opened my eyes, expecting to see Bella sprawled out next to me, but she wasn't there. I got up into a sitting position. She wasn't in here at all; only her scent was prominent, lingering in the air around me. For a brief moment I was alert, but then I heard the sound of quiet voices drifting down the hallway along with the scent of fresh toast and coffee. I looked over at my alarm clock. Man, it was already the middle of the day.

Confused I got out of the bed, threw on the first clothes I could find and went out in the hallway to see what was going on. I found Bella and dad sitting on each side of the kitchen table, talking and drinking coffee. Both looked up at me when I entered, both their grins suspiciously wide. I instantly got a feeling they'd just been talking about me. I suspected dad had just been amusing himself with telling Bella "old, funny stories". Nice, Dad. That was bound to be nothing but embarrassing. I guess I entered just in time or he would have started showing her my nude baby photos. My eyes automatically scanned the table in front of them. No photo album in sight, thanks heaven.

"Hello sleepyhead," Dad grinned at me; fully aware that whatever he'd been telling Bella only minutes before was not by my approval. "Come and get yourself some breakfast."

Dad and Bella had already eaten, but both stayed by the table to watch me down some toast. It was already a warm day, the sun high up in the sky outside the little kitchen window. While I ate, Dad was pleasant enough to tell Bella about the time Quil and I was caught mooning the gym teacher, all the while gently ignoring my muffled objections and disapproval noises. After this pleasant event, he wheeled himself out on the front porch with his coffee cup, content with the day's work. Probably looking for another newspaper to memorize.

Bella sat silently opposite me, watching me as I munched down the last bit of toast on my plate.

"You up early?" I asked her as I reached for the water.

"Not very. Earlier than you, obviously. You're really _warm_, you know that? I woke in a heap of sweat this morning. I think I'm going to veto that blanket from now on".

My heart took a bungodance when she said that. She'd said _from now on. _That meant she could want to do this again. Right?

"So, what are you doing today?" Bella asked. She leaned forward over the table, propped up on her elbows. "Do you have to see the pack?"

"Nope," I grinned. "Today you're stuck with me all day. What do you want to do?"

Bella smiled. "I don't know. You've still haven't kept your promise to take me cliff diving."

My jaw dropped. She got to be kidding me.

"What?" she exclaimed in response to my gaping. "It's a warm day! We won't jump from the top obviously, just from further down as you suggested. You promised!"

"Yeah, I did," I threw back at her, working my self up. "But then you decided to go and do it on your own!"

This really pissed me off. It was only two days ago since she told me about that Cullen, and what she had done all this time only to hear his voice inside her head. She'd thrown herself off a cliff to hear his voice! And then she'd told me she wouldn't do it again. Promised me. And now, here she was, suggesting casually that we could go do it again. As if this time I could join her and watch. She was mental.

"Are you doing this to get another date with your precious leech?" I snarled at her. Like a double date. Triple date. Crazy. Why would she want me to come anyway? I was the third wheel to this party. Only as a life belt, to save her from drowning while she wallowed in his voice? A part of me wondered if maybe she was mad. Not cute-mad, not kind-of-crazy-mad. If maybe a part of her head just wasn't right.

At my words, her face crumpled. Her eyes went flat, the light getting sucked out of them in front of my eyes. Her jaw clenched and her lips turned dead white, set in a tight line. She leaned back in her chair, taking her elbows off the table. And then her eyes became blank and she looked like she was about to break down any moment. It was obvious she hadn't even been thinking about Cullen at all until I mentioned him. Uh oh. I regretted my words immediately

"I'm sorry…" I whispered. I stood up from my chair and walked around the table, and then reached out to pull her into a tight hug. Her arms didn't embrace me; just fell loosely down by her side. "I shouldn't have said that," I murmered into her hair, and I meant it. I hated seeing her like this.

She didn't reply. Just kept still in my arms. Numb. I put my hands on her shoulders and pulled back to look at her. Her expression was a mixture of betrayal and hurt.

"I'm sorry I said that, all right?" I said again. "But Bella, I need to know. Why do you want this?"

She just stared at me for a bunch of long seconds.

"I didn't mean it like that," she said, her eyebrows pulling together in a stubborn frown. "I've told you I don't want to hear his voice anymore."

I almost didn't believe her. "So you meant we could just go and cliff-dive, just the two of us?" I clarified.

"You make it sound like I'm schizophrenic."

I didn't answer, just raised my eyebrows and kept looking down at her.

She shrugged and pressed her lips together in defeat. "I thought it would be fun. Really."

I laughed once, and by those words I knew she meant what she said. "You've always had a shrewd impression of what's fun, so I believe you." That was maybe the only thing she could have said for me to know she really wanted to go cliff-diving with me. And only me. Not as a third wheel.

Bella looked up, sending me a watery smile, before she stared back down at her feet. "Just forget it Jake. We can just go and ride the bikes." She paused. "Or maybe you don't want that any more, now that you know everything. We could just stay here. Watch a movie or something. Or I could go home".

"Hey," I said, trying to get her to look up at me. She did. Her face guilty this time. I smiled at her before I continued. "I promised you before that I would take you cliff-diving, didn't I? Real cliff-diving, not suiciding. You've still only tried one of the two. But I'm telling you, it's going to be _cold._"

She shook her head. "We don't have to. It was a stupid idea."

"Why am _I _suddenly the one trying to convince _you_ we should go jump off a cliff?" I grinned down at her. A smile played in the corner of her lips, and I knew I had her. "Come on, Bells. Don't be such a wimp."

"I'm not scared," she said, and peeked up to meet my gaze. She opened her mouth as if she wanted to add something, but then changed her mind and didn't say it. I wondered what it was. She sent me a smile instead, a glint in her eyes that wasn't there before. "_I_'ve jumped from the top already. That's more than you can say."

My eyes narrowed. If that was the way she wanted it...

* * *

"Now!"

The dull, sunny silence was cut off by a loud shrilling scream, and I felt the ground disappear under my feet. The air that flew past me was drumming against my ears, and I gripped Bella's hand tighter so that she wouldn't slip away from me. Her scream, happy and excited, was cut off when we both hit the water.

We rushed downwards into the water and she gripped my hand tighter as she threatened to slip away. The cold water didn't affect me at all, though I knew it affected her. I easily started to move the both of us up towards the surface, clutching her hand tightly in mine, and trying to get her body closer to the warmth of mine. She would not slip away from me now. We both broke the water surface at the same time, and Bella rushed a whole fountain of water from her mouth.

"Woah!" she said, coughing a little. "This is _cold!_"

She was still gripping my hand, supporting herself to stay above the waves. I would have been perfectly happy if it wasn't for the muted suspicion in my stomach. I watched her intently as she kept herself floating, spraying water everywhere, and trying to wipe the salt and hair out of her eyes. I half expected her eyes to drift out of focus as she concentrated on something only she could hear, or her smile to become slightly distant, the smile that wasn't for me. A sign, anything. But her eyes were clear and focused on me, and her grin was _my _grin, joyful and present. I halfheartedly waited for a flashback to come and get me, seeing Bella here surrounded by waves and ocean, but there was nothing other than happiness in the air around us. I realized I had nothing to worry about, and so I didn't. She was here, with me, and only me. I felt a grin stretch across my face in response to hers, and I felt perfectly happy.

"Come on," I said a little superior as I watched her splashing around, stretching her neck when a wave threatened to down her under. "Let's get you out of here before you drown completely."

"I can swim," she insisted. Sure, in a swimming pool. I wrapped an arm around her waistand I started to move us both in the direction of the shore.

I was glad I did, because she tired eventually, and when we reached the beach she was simply floating along. We walked up to the nearest driftwood, a huge white piece which had been laying here for years. She was still clutching my hand in hers as sat down beside me, her clothes dripping. Well, _my_ clothes, really, she'd borrowed some clothes from the depth of my drawer I didn't even know I had and that didn't matter if got wet. Bella gripped my hand tighter, and I had my suspicions it wasn't so much for the affection as it was for the heat. I looked down at her. She was dripping and shivering, her bottom lip turning purple. Having the time of her life, I'm sure.

I laid down next to her "Was that enough fun for you?" I grinned down at her. I did warn her it would be cold.

She peeked up at me. "It was a-alright" she said, trying to act nonchalantly. Her quivering bottom lip sort of ruined that image.

I raised one eyebrow, and she surrendered.

"Okay, okay, I'm freezing to death here," she gushed out, leaning over to wrap both her arms around my waist as she huddled as close to me as possible. She pressed her cheek to my neck and allowed the shivers to run through her for real. She actually reminded me a bit about a werewolf getting out of control. I laughed and put my arms around her.

"I told you so."

"Shut up."

She pressed her freezing fingers to my lower back and I tensed for a second.

"Man, you really are freezing."

"I told you so," she mimicked my words, and I could almost hear her roll her eyes. I turned to look down at her, at the same time she tilted her face upwards to look at me. Her lips had stopped shivering slightly, but they were still purple. I gazed into her eyes for what must have been a very long time, or at least it felt that way. She was looking back at me, studying me, a slight frown taking place between her eyebrows. I felt an intense urge to kiss her again, but I held still. I would not screw up this time. Not again.

Bella kept studying me, still a frown on her forehead. I drowned all over in those chocolate eyes. Somehow, she moved even closer to me, or maybe I was the one moving closer to her. We were so close and it would be so effortless to kiss her now this moment, but I waited. I would not screw up. We were less than an inch apart. So close. So tempting. Her lips were turning blue in front of my eyes from the cold wind.

I watched in a haze as she tilted her head slightly to the side and closed her eyes. Her lips parted. This was an invitation. She wanted me to kiss her. Or at least I think she did, hoped she did. I'd never been this close to her without kissing her before. But I couldn't be sure. I held completely still, and waited. One second past. Two seconds. I held still, jolting all my muscles into place. I could feel her breath on my face. It was against my male instincts not to lean forward that remaining centimeter. But I would not screw up, not this time.

Bella opened her eyes. She looked at me, long, and I almost regretted that I didn't grab the chance when I had it. Had I just screwed up anyway? Had this been my one and only chance, and had I failed after all? Then, still with her eyes open, Bella leaned forward and did the thing I'd wanted her to do. Now, today, yesterday, the whole year. _She _kissed _me._

It wasn't just the feeling itself that made me so extremely happy. It was the fact that she'd actually made a full decision to do it herself. I didn't press her into it, didn't persuade her. She kissed me. I was both elated and smug and surprised at the same time.

When we broke apart her lips were no longer blue, but pink and rosy from the warmth. Our eyes were still locked on each other and I almost didn't dare blink. I was afraid my heart would race out of my chest. She must be hearing it, feeling it against her hand. I tried to wrap my head around what just happened. Bella kissed me. A smile started to spread on my face, and Bella turned her face down, her cheeks turning burning red against her pale white skin.

"Did you do that because you wanted to or only because you were cold?" I asked her. Either way, I didn't care. She could do that any time for whatever reason. It was impossible to keep the smile off my face, and she must be blind if she didn't see how I was feeling right now.

"Both" she admitted, peeking up at me through her eye lashes.


	8. Sluggishness

_A.N: Thanks for all the sweet reviews! And b__ig wolfhugs to _**kallmecrazy **_for __betaing!;) __

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**Sluggishness**

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_Can you please, please, please stop imagining how it feels like to kiss Bella Swan! It makes me imagine how it feels like to puke. _

Leah's thoughts were resentful and bored and again, I tried my best not to think about Bella. I don't think it worked much. She was simply too important. It had only been one day since I talked to her last, but it felt like much longer. Sunday was the first time our friendship officially crossed the friendship-line, and that Bella was actually aware of. She'd kissed me! She had to work yesterday, but I could see her today. For some reason, I actually felt nervous about it.

_It's a pain running patrols with you, Jacob Black. _Leah was fuming.

_Likewise. _

It was Tuesday. After a very boring day of school where I got off early, I'd been out running all morning along with Seth, Quil, Leah and Embry. It was a good morning, and it reminded me about the old days with my two best friends. Except everything was different and much more crowded. And then there was Leah.

_It's not that I'm not happy to see you've finally caught the girl of your dreams, _Leah pressed. _It's just that you keep shoving her up my brain. _I _don't feel like kissing leech-leftovers. _

_Nice, isn't she? _Embry murmured to me.

_Little miss sunshine, _Quil agreed. He was having the time of his life these days, even with Leah poisoning his head. That was more than I could say right now.

_Cut the bullshit, _Leah continued. _I actually dreamed about kissing her last night, and it wasn't a good dream. _She shuddered at the memory.

Quil's mind went momentarily blank, as his head filled with images of Leah and Bella kissing. Or just any girls kissing, really. Leah's reaction was harsh and immediate and the next seconds were filled with humiliation as Leah peppered him about it. I almost felt sorry for Quil as I felt him shrink under Leah's inner yelling.

_Is there any news about the Cullens? _Embry thought, trying his best to ignore the execution going on in the back of our heads. I tried to do the same.

_No, _I murmured trying to turn out one of Leah's especially loud threats. _Not since Cullen called. _There hadn't been a beep from any bloodsucker since the short conversation Bella had with Edward on Friday. I hadn't really spoken with her about it since, and she hadn't brought it up. I wondered if she though about it a lot.

_Do you think he's coming here?_ Embry asked carefully.

_I don't know, _I admitted. _He said he would, but he hasn't showed up yet. Let's hope he changed his mind. _

_Do you really think that's likely? _Embry thought, doubtful.

I sighed. _Probably not. But he left once, right?_

If only he stayed away. One could hope. But the worst part was not knowing whether Forks would be invaded again or not. If we knew the Cullens would come back, it would be different. Instead we were constant wondering, always under suspense.

We were for a moment distracted when Quil actually considered phasing back to escape Leah's inner yelling. That's when the real screaming began.

_You're such a perverted GUY, you know that! And don't you even _think _about phasing back, you're going to regret that. If you ever think of me that way again, I swear I'll..._

_That's it for me, _I mumbled to Embry, trying to turn out Leah again. _Sorry guys, but I'm leaving you alone with that. _

_Are you picking Bella up from school? _Seth was poking around in my brain.

_Yeah, her car capitulated this morning. _For some reason, her truck had been making some funny noises this morning and Charlie had insisted on giving her a lift to school (something she wasn't very happy about). I'd seen all this through Seth's mind, who'd been on guard outside her house this morning. _I need to take a look at her truck, anyway. See what's wrong._

_Just shut up, Jacob. _Leah finally gave up on Quil, which brain regarding females was unrepairable.

_Thanks, man, _he thought dryly.

_You're welcome._

Leah continued, all the while trying to ignore Quil's presence which suited him just fine. They reminded me of two children sulking on each side of a sandbox. _You don't have to find lots of crappy excuses, we all know what you want. _Her tone was grim, but she'd stopped spitting at least.

_Sure sure. _I gave up. _See you later._

I'd reached the forest edge back home, and phased back. I went inside to put on some more clothes before I left – showing up in her school half naked probably wasn't a good idea. After a brief consideration I found a tool box in the garage and slung it in the back of the car – if I was going to fix her truck, I wasn't sure if Charlie would have an awful lot of tools for me to work with. Gun belts and spatulas just wouldn't do.

I drove the familiar road back to Forks, and then turned over to the parking lot of Forks High. I was early. Bella didn't know I would be picking her up, and I hoped she was still here. She most likely was; she was not one to skip school. I parked the car by the main entrance, and leaned back against the hood of my Rabbit. I guess you weren't really supposed to park here, but there was no one here to tell me otherwise so I did it anyway. It would be impossible for her to not see me from here.

After ten minutes or so, the bell rang and people started to seep out through the open doors. I noticed quite a lot of them were eyeing me, weirdly. I guess a new face was easily noticeable, especially in a small place like this, and a Quileute amongst the pale ones. And it might have something to do with my misplaced parking, but what the hell.

More people appeared through the doors, but there was still no Bella. I started to wonder if maybe she had gone home early after all, but then I heard a familiar voice coming from another direction than I expected. My head snapped up, and I spotted her immediately all the way across the school yard. She was walking in my direction, a gym bag hanging over her shoulder.

She hadn't seen me, and to my huge annoyance I saw that Newton bloke walking by her side. He was talking to her, and I got instantly more annoyed with that guy. Besides, he was walking way too close to her than what was polite, and he was staring openly at her. He reminded me of a four year old hanging in his mothers arm, nagging for candy. Why couldn't he get a hint? When we'd watched that crappy movie in Port Angeles in what seemed like ages ago, she'd made it clear she wasn't interested. And yesterday she'd kissed _me_. Again, I considered getting that video camera. I would give him a Bella + Jacob slideshow for Christmas.

"I don't know, Mike," I heard her say, her voice evasive and distant.

"Come on, it would be fun." Newton said in a shrilling voice I felt an immediate distaste for. "What about tomorrow?"

"Oh, I can't. I have plans tomorrow".

She did? Suddenly I became curious. She didn't tell me she had any plans for tomorrow.

"What are you doing?" he asked; his tone overly possessive. I disliked him even more.

"I... I've promised to help my dad with something." Really? Was she lying? I could hear the false tone in her voice even from over here.

"Oh." Newton looked down, for a moment taking his eyes away from her. His gaze lingering a little too south off her face when she didn't notice. All guys know those tricks. Asshole. "But what about Friday after work?" he asked hopefully,

And then I got it. He was asking her out. Like on a date. Suddenly I saw red. No, he didn't remind me of a four year old nagging for candy, he reminded me of a slug slurping all over a tasty lollipop. I wanted to smack him away and step on him.

"Uuuh..." Bella answered, as she pretended to think hard if she already had plans that day when she really knew she didn't. She was trying to buy time to come up with another crappy excuse. Right? She wasn't really considering going out with him? Suddenly I felt a bit insecure. The slug took advantage of her hesitation.

"We could maybe go to Port Angeles? I know this really nice restaurant I've really wanted to go to. They have great pizza." As if pizza would help persuade her. I was suddenly sure this restaurant was a candlelit one with lots of dark areas to make out in. Excuse me, miss, you have a slug in your face.

"I don't know, Mike..."

"Come on, it would be nice!" he insisted. Slurp, slurp.

Bella looked troubled, as if she really couldn't come up with another explanation. I decided it was time for me to make a drastic move and help her out before it was too late and she got all slurped up on Friday.

"Hey, Bells!" I called over to her, and her head snapped up as if she'd only waited for a distraction like this. The slug looked up too, and when his eyes found me his face immediately turned all sour. I didn't look at him.

"Jacob!" Bella cried out, clearly relieved and happy to see me. Again, it was obvious she liked me best. In that one word she put more thought and feeling that she had put in the whole conversation with Newton. To my great satisfaction Bella actually started running towards me, the bag clamping along on her shoulder. I mean, what would you choose? A slug or a dog? I imagined Newton's feelers grasping desperately after her to pull her back.

She ran over to me, away from him, and when she reached me her feet got all mixed up and she would have hit the pavement nose first if I didn't step forward and catch her. I hugged her tight to me, lifting her feet off the ground and she clung to me and laughed in my ear. When I heard some shuffling noises, I looked up only to see Mike slurping along, determined not to leave Bella alone with me. He just couldn't get a hint could he? I guess slugs never let go easily. Too slippery. Well, if he volunteered as an audience I didn't have to make it pleasant for him.

I leaned back, and smiled into Bella's big brown eyes. She looked both happy and relieved to see me. I made a spur of the moment decision, and leaned down and pressed my lips against hers. Both because I really wanted to and also to give Mike a clear sign that to him, this girl was a lost cause.

The bag fell from Bella's shoulder and hit the ground with a loud thump.

Her mouth against mine was soft and halfway open in surprise. The shock was evident in both her lips and her posture. She was probably staring at me wide eyed too, but I kept my eyes shut and kissed her happily as if this was nothing out if the ordinary. This would tell that slug to back off. And she _did _kiss me on Sunday, so this wasn't really overstepping a whole lot of boundaries. Just one or two, maybe three. I really hoped she wouldn't pull away and slap my face or something that would be a little punch in the plan. That would just encourage him to slurp on her some more. But luckily, Bella didn't pull away.

I felt arms against my neck, and briefly, I thought Mike was trying to choke me from behind. Then I realized it was Bella's hands. And then her lips started moving and then she was kissing me like I'd never been kissed in my sixteen year old life. My head got very clouded and it was difficult to make coherent thoughts. Her lips were moving in ways I didn't think would be possible and then her tongue grazed mine and I nearly lost my balance. This was nothing like the kiss we'd shared on Sunday. If what we did then was kiss, I didn't know what this was. _Look at me!_ I wanted to call out. _She kisses me! I get to kiss her! _Someone give me a megaphone.

When we broke apart, I had to clutch her waist to keep my balance up. When I slowly opened my eyes, she was already looking at me. She still looked a little surprised, but also amused and satisfied. The whole schoolyard had gone suspiciously quiet, and when I looked up I noticed most people were staring. I guess they hadn't seen Bella with anyone except the leech. What a nice surprise for them, I snickered. I also noticed Mike standing behind her, looking more like a slug than ever, his eyes wide as spaceships. _In your face, sucker. _I think I just got a new hobby. Poking slugs with a stick.

"Nice to see you too" I grinned down at Bella. She lifted her eyebrow slightly. I almost added a "_Thanks for last night_" but that was maybe pushing the line a little bit. That implied quite a bit more than what actually happened during our weekend together, and I wasn't sure Bella would be happy if I did _that. _So I didn't, but it was tempting. I imagined Mike turning green and choke in front of my eyes. He probably would've.

"Are you here to pick me up?" she asked. Stupid question.

"What do you think?" I grinned. I realized I'd just been making out with Bella Swan in public. She'd kissed me in front of her friends, of the people her age. In front of Mike. I didn't need a video camera anymore. Problem solved. I guess my smile might be a little too smug but I couldn't help it. "Jump in" I nodded my head towards the car, and turned around to open the door for her. She seemed to have forgotten all about Mike who was still standing behind her. Poor bloke.

"Bye, Bella", he muttered. Slurp, slurp.

"Oh, bye Mike. See you tomorrow!" Bella turned around to wave at him before she got into the Rabbit. Mike turned around and walked away from us, sending me a spiteful look in the process. I grinned back widely. I simply couldn't help it. Bella Swan just kissed me in public. I almost felt bad for him. But not very.

I retrieved Bella's bag from where she'd dropped it on the ground, and swung it into the backseat before I got in myself. I got the engine going and drove the car out of the parking lot. Bella was looking out the window, and didn't speak until we reached road 110.

"Do you know you're smiling like a maniac?" she asked, still looking out the window. I could see the side of her face, and she was smiling too.

"I knew you liked me," I grinned. The smile on my face was about to become permanent.

"What was that about anyway?" she asked.

Hah. As if she didn't know. "I knew you wanted to kiss me."

"What? You were the one who kissed me!"

"Sure, sure. At first. But then you sort of took over."

"It didn't seem like you minded." True. But it didn't look like she had minded either. Bella sneaked a look at me before she snorted and laughed "You just wanted to make Mike jealous."

"You enjoyed it just as much as I did."

"Don't let it go to your head." She turned to stare out of the window again, trying to hide her blush. Hah! _She admits it! _I was sure that by now the grin on my face _was _permanent.

We reached her house, and I parked my Rabbit on the side of the road outside the driveway. I carried her bag inside, and left it by the end of the staircase. When I turned around, Bella was standing there watching me. I walked over to her. She was studying me, deep in thought. Our eyes locked again, and I wondered if I was allowed to kiss her now. No friends around, just the two of us. I leaned a little bit closer. Bella blinked then, and seemed to wake from her reverie.

"Uhm. I'll go and start dinner," she hurried to say. She turned towards the kitchen, and I noticed she was blushing again.

"Okay. I'll...err...go and see what I can do about your truck."

Bella turned briefly to smile at me, little and tentative, before she disappeared into the kitchen and started clunking around. I was staring numbly after her for a few seconds before my feet got into action.

I got her truck started in no time. It was a piece if cake, really. It took me about ten minutes before the engine sounded like its normal rumbling self. When I got back inside I tried to explain to Bella what had been the problem, but her whole face just turned blank every other second because she had no clue what I was talking about, and so I gave up.

I sat down on the chair beside the kitchen table, watching her stir in some casseroles. My stomach rumbled loudly.

"Here." Bella opened the cupboard and threw a cookie in my direction before she took one herself. My cookie was quickly disposed of, and I watched Bella as she nibbled on hers.

"You eat funny." I stated.

"I eat funny?" Bella turned to raise her eyebrows at me.

"Yeah. You _do,_" I insisted when she rolled her eyes. "You always eat everything layer from layer, always saving something till the end."

"It's called saving the best for last."

"What's the point? It tastes just as good if you eat it right away. May be even better."

"Jake, you swallow your meals whole. Some people might want to _taste_ what they're actually eating," she mumbled and smiled before she continued to nibble on her cookie.

As I watched her, it hit me out of blue sky. I had no idea where it came from, but there it was. It hit me that Bella was experienced. An experienced girl. Woman. She'd been with another boyfriend before (except that he was neither a real boy nor her friend, but a bloodsucker). She was experienced in ways I was definitely not. She'd told me herself – he'd been coming into her room at night. I realized that the way she kissed me earlier today proved that even more, even if it only was because she wanted to get rid of Mike. Or was that the only reason she kissed me that way? Maybe she wanted something more from me. Suddenly I felt very hot headed and had to look away for a second.

This was way out of my knowledge area. Maybe she would start to expect things from me. We _were _more than just friends now, and she knew that. But how _much_ more than just friends? We weren't a real couple, were we? I would love it if we were, but I wasn't sure what she wanted. And I wasn't sure what that meant, being with an experienced woman. She _was _older than me with two years, believe it or not.

Was it sick of me to think of this now, with Cullen creeping around? Probably. Or maybe it was just self defense. She'd done it with him. Maybe it was an advantage for his part, a way to lure her back, with sweet promises and old memories. But then again, maybe not. I smirked. Maybe not. Probably not. I mean. A vampire. How much for him to show off is there? Can't be much. Must be lousy. Poor stocking, I'm sure.

"Here, taste this."

Bella appeared in front of me, a spoon filled with something steamy delicious-smelling in her hand. She held her other hand under it, preventing it from dripping on the carped. I didn't realize I'd dazed out for a moment there, and quickly got back to the present. Bella held the spoon in front of me, waiting for me to react. Oh. Right. She wanted me to taste it.

I leaned forward, and Bella tilted the content of the spoon into my mouth. I was too distracted with my new revelations and possible near future experiences to really taste what it was. She could have been feeding me with poisoned goose liver and I wouldn't have noticed. Her hand was so close, her face was so close. Was it just me, or did everything move from friendship to another level very fast? Even this seemed strangely intimate. It was probably just me. I'd tasted her cooking hundreds of times before.

"Tastes good," I managed to squeeze out. It was the best answer I could resemble right now.

Bella measured my reaction for a second or two. "Too much salt, I think," she said, and then she went back to fix whatever needed to be fixed. I was left numbly staring at her.

I didn't know how to do this. What if she expected more of me? Not that I was complaining, hell no, but these thoughts took me off guard. I wished I hadn't always tried to tune out whatever images had slipped through the other guys' minds. Sam's, Paul's. They'd both experienced things with girls I'd never been close to. Suddenly I wished I'd been paying more attention to their slips and memories. Because when it came to this, I was clueless and horribly inexperienced.

Charlie appeared after twenty minutes or so, and he seemed delighted but not surprised, to find us both in his kitchen. He must have been gossiping with Billy again. He looked tired as he slumped down on the chair opposite me.

"There's a hell at work these days," he sighed and stretched his legs out in front of him. "If we don't solve these killings soon, I don't know what to do."

"Is it still just as bad?" I asked. This was Victoria's doing, and I happened to know she wasn't around at the moment.

"Not right now," Charlie admitted, confirming what I already knew. "But we haven't solved the last ones yet, and until we do that we can't know if there will be more. No one knows what to do about it. They're probably sending us at anther conference, as if that will do any good."

Again, I had a pang of guilt over not being able to explain to Charlie about Victoria. Whether he went to work or not, wouldn't make a difference at all. This was all on us. I _also _thought about what would happen if Charlie went on another conference. Then Bella would probably be staying with me and dad again. Maybe she would come into my room at night, like before. My stomach started prickling. What would she expect from me if she did that?

During the meal, I was pretty distracted, never fully able to focus on anything. My mind was jumping from the one direction to the other. First trying to focus on the conversation with Charlie, then suddenly thinking about Cullen, what he would do if he came her, then thinking about Bella, what she'd been doing with Cullen, trying to focus some more on the conversation, then back to wondering what Bella might be expecting to be doing with me.

* * *

_Remember to review;)_


	9. Crumbles

_A.N: Hi there:) Just a funny note; I'm currently sharing an apartment with four guys. And let me tell you, guys are rambling and analyzing just as bad as girls! Maybe the conversations are less outgoing and more straight to the point, but they are still soo analyzing. So I guess my version of Jacob is in good company;) I can't speak for all when I say this, obviously, but that was quite a fun discovery, he he;)_

___Now. Back to the chapter. Thank you's to kallmecrazy for betaing and to all you wonderful reviewers!_

* * *

**Crumbles**

* * *

_During the meal, I was pretty distracted, never fully able to focus on anything. My mind was jumping from the one direction to the other. First trying to focus on the conversation with Charlie, then suddenly thinking about Cullen, what he would do if he came her, then thinking about Bella, what she'd been doing with Cullen, trying to focus some more on the conversation, then back to wondering what Bella might be expecting to be doing with me._

* * *

After we'd eaten, Bella started to fill the sink with water.

"I'll do it," Charlie offered, clumsily taking the soap out of her hands. "You kids go and have fun."

It was pretty obvious it was Charlie's turn to make an effort in our dad's conspiracy.

I followed Bella out in the living room. "Do you want to go outside?" she asked, while sending concerned glances towards the loud splashing coming from the kitchen. It looked like she was struggling not to go back and take over the dishes.

"Sure, sure."

I followed her out in the hallway, and waited while she put her jacket on. I grabbed a blanket from the hallway shelf too, since I knew Bella was a blanket-junkie. We got outside in the chilly night, and sat down on the stairs on the front porch. I wrapped the blanket around us both, and she smiled appreciatively. Her lips were slight pink, and again I wanted to kiss her more than anything. My stomach started prickling again. Pink lips. Experienced lips.

"Jacob?" Bella said, her voice turning up in a question at the end.

"Huh?"

"Is there something wrong?" She eyed me, studying my expression.

"Wrong? No, why?"

"You've just been so quiet."

"Oh." So she'd noticed. "It's nothing, I'm just...thinking"

"About what?" She tilted her head to the side, looking at me with concerned warm eyes, and I got lost.

I forgot every smart retort I might have been about to say, I forgot everything but her. She was sitting so calm and relaxed beside me, her cheeks slightly flushed in the chill air. Without thinking or calculating I leaned forward, closer to her until I felt her breaths against my cheek. I wanted nothing more than to kiss her. I looked into her eyes for a few moments, hesitating for what seemed like much more, before I closed the distance between us and pressed my lips softly to hers.

She wasn't so shocked this time, and her lips were moist and shut. Even if she wasn't very surprised, I could feel she hadn't been expecting this. She wasn't responding, and I pulled back to find her staring at me. Her eyes weren't conflicted as they had been when I kissed her before. She seemed a little thoughtful, but she wasn't frowning. She studied me, her eyes unreadable. And then, before I realized what was going on, she leaned forward and closed the distance between us again._ She kissed me! She kisses me! It was all that was going around inside my head. It was the second time she kissed me, and I wondered if I would get a habit out of counting each kiss from now on._

Bella moved closer to me, and I felt her leg brush against mine as she settled by my side. She seemed more confident, more determined somehow; as if she'd finally made up her mind. And then she opened her mouth and deepened the kiss, turning all my insides to mush. I had no words. I hardly had any thoughts. I just kissed her back, and floated. Her arms encircled my neck, drawing me closer. This was not for Mike; this was for me, for us. I felt her tongue against mine, and thought I would go crazy. I slid my arms around her waist and brought her as close to me as our legs allowed on the tiny front porch. Bella intensified the kiss even more, and I dropped every wall I'd ever built inside my head. I needed her. Our friendship-line was smothered somewhere along with the cookies we'd shared inside the house. We were no longer just friends. We were way more than just friends.

I felt Bella's hand against my knee, as she supported herself to be able to sit this close to me. I started reeling. What did this mean? What did she mean with all this? Did she want me to... continue? I'd give her anything she wanted, I was all in. What did experienced women expect? What did _she want? Her teeth grazed my bottom lip, and she moved her hands up to run them through my hair. I nibbled at her bottom lip, and she whimpered through her heaving breaths. The friendship-crumbles inside where laughing loudly at us._

The kiss became rapidly more urgent. Our noses bumped, her teeth grazed mine, and our exhales became heavy. It was almost running out of control, but neither of us seemed able to stop. Her back was pinned up against the banister, and she pressed me closer to her. I couldn't get enough of her, or she of me it seemed. She tilted her head back, and I automatically started to kiss down her neck. It seemed right. She leaned into me some more, and I felt her neck tighten under my lips. I tangled my fingers up through her hair before I slid them over her shoulders and down her arms. I buried my face in her hair, and the scent of her shampoo and of _her overwhelmed me completely. She sighed heavily, a sigh of enjoyment, and my hand moved downwards on its own accord to graze her breast. My mind went into overload. I remember thinking it didn't feel like anything I expected, mostly just like touching sweater, but that's about it. I'd do my best to live up to any of her expectations. I'd do anything. My very best._

Bella whimpered again, and I started kissing my way back up her throat. She tightened her hands in my hair, tugging me closer, and I took it as an encouragement that I was doing the right thing. My hand on her chest became more confident. Before I knew it, my hands were moving up under her shirt. Her hands tightened in my hair, demanding more. Just as I pulled her lips back to mine, she pushed hard against my chest and heaved herself up from the stairs, away from me. She stood there, a meter or so away, breathing heavily, her hair a tangled mess, staring at me with incredulous eyes.

"Jacob!" she gasped.

That was all she said. I sat dumbly on the stairs, wondering what just happened. I watched her as she watched me, both trying to get our breaths under control. Did she pull away because she was surprised? Surprised that we could be like this; that I could? She'd wanted this to happen, right? Gradually, as her breaths settled and her stare continued, I started to feel the uneasiness in the air between us.

"What?" I said weakly. Completely clueless. She kept staring at me, incredulous.

"You... you can't just do that!" she fretted, gesturing between us. What did I do?

"Do what?" I whispered back, keeping my voice down.

"This!" she gestured more wildly between us. "This is way too much!"

Too much? This was too much?

"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice acting funny. I felt a little squashy.

Bella sighed heavily, exasperated, like having to explain to a kid. "You can't just do like this just because I kissed you. That doesn't mean you're allowed to grab all over me!" Her cheeks were getting red, but not as much with embarrassment as with anger.

I started stuttering. This was way over my head. "I thought you wanted that. I thought you expected me to do that."

"Expected you to? Why on earth would I expect that?"

"Because you've-" I stopped dead. I couldn't just say it like that. "Because you know more about this than I do."

Bella snorted loudly and rolled her eyes, before she tightened her arms tightly over her chest. "I very highly doubt that, considering what you apparently think is normal."

"What do you mean?" I didn't get her today.

"This... what you just did… is new! You can't just do that, not like that. We have to slow down."

"New?" I repeated. We were talking about the same thing, right? I was the freshman to this party.

"Yes." Her blush was more embarrassed than angry now.

"But that doesn't make any sense," I insisted. "You plain out _told me that you'd...that you and him-"_

I stopped dead again, as her eyes turned dangerous. Too late though, she'd caught my intention and knew perfectly well who I was speaking about.

"No," she said quietly, "You got that one wrong."

"But you told me-"

"No I didn't," she interrupted.

"You said he came into your bedroom at night!"

My voice turned accusing without meaning to do so. And while I said the words, I also had my answer. She had said he came into her bedroom at night. Nothing more. It was just my obnoxious boy brain that had put more into that. I didn't need to hear what she was about to say; I already knew it.

"He... I mean, yes" she stuttered, her blush becoming furious. "But it wasn't like that. We never... I mean, I've never..." Her blush deepened impossibly. "Not even close."

I suddenly felt ashamed as I realized what she was telling me. Here she was, trying to tell me she was, well, a freshman too, and what had my first reaction been? Accuse her? What a charmer. Not the reaction any girl would be looking for, I'm sure. I buried my face in my hands. I was a jerk. Here she was, the girl I'd been fighting for over almost a year now. She'd finally given me her little finger and what did I do? Grab her boob. Smooth, Black.

"Bella, I'm... I'm so sorry" I peeked up at her with defeat. "I had no idea. I thought...I thought you...I thought this was what you expected."

She didn't answer, but kept measuring me with unreadable eyes.

"Please tell me I've not ruined everything," I begged. I got up from the porch to stand in front of her, a good few feet away. If begging was needed, I would be down on my knees in no time. "I know, I'm a jerk. But, please just...please."

I looked at her, begging her to understand. To my great surprise, she smiled.

"Oh, don't strain yourself," she said, an edge to her tone. But she was smiling, a warm happy smile which she normally saved just for me. It was a smile that said I was forgiven. Ten thousand weights lifted from my shoulders and in one long stride I'd gathered her up in my arms and hugged her tightly to me.

"Thanks," I whispered. Then I remembered what we'd just argued about and took a large step away from her. I wouldn't want her to think I was taking advantage. I'd give her space. No more boob-grabbing or other types of groping.

She laughed then, and surprised me once again. She took a step closer, closing the distance between us, before she stretched up on her toes and kissed me. Short, simple, soft. Then she pulled away and walked around me to sit on the stairs. Hesitantly I walked over to her and sat down beside her. Not too close. I looked at her, wondering what she was thinking about.

Bella eyed me for a second. "I won't bite," she said.

I snorted. "Well, that's good news."

"I could, but I won't." A little smile was playing on her lips.

"If you do, let me know. I don't think I'd notice much. Your teeth aren't that long."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment? 'Your teeth aren't that long'?"

"Hey, whatever makes you happy," I grinned at her, and she grinned back, and I was sure she wasn't mad at me. I leaned over to put the blanket around her shoulders before she could get cold. We sat in silence for a few moments, listening to the quiet night. I was purring with happiness. She had kissed me. And forgiven me. And she hadn't been with the leech after all. After a little while, Bella leaned her head on my shoulder. My heart thumped irregularly.

"What do you think will happen, Jacob?" she asked. She sounded serious.

"About what?" About us? About what we'd just done? Or something else? She didn't answer immediately, but kept gazing distantly in front of her staring at nothing in particular. When she finally answered, her voice was a quiet whisper.

"Is there any news about Victoria?"

Oh. That was what she was thinking about. I could hear that she was frightened but pretended not to be.

"No," I said. "Not since the last time she dropped by. But we're looking out for her, so there's no reason to worry,"

Bella fell quiet again, but I had a feeling there was something else she wanted to ask. Maybe Victoria wasn't the vampire she really wanted to ask about.

"And... the Cullens?" she finally said, as I knew she would.

"There's no sign of them either."

"Oh." She sounded neither disappointed nor afraid. Wasn't she afraid that they would come here? I made a spur of the moment decision and asked what I just couldn't help but ask.

"Bella. What if they come back?"

Bella turned to look at me, long and hard. For once, I couldn't make out her expression. We both knew we weren't talking about the whole family any more. Only one person. Bella leaned her head back down against my shoulder and sighed.

"I don't know, Jake. I don't know."

I didn't know either. No one seemed to know anything these days.

* * *

The clock past 11, and it got darker around us. Charlie appeared in the doorway after a while, reminding Bella that it was a school night. He'd stretched her curfew as it was, I knew that. He seemed immensely pleased to see us both sitting on the stairs, as if this was all because his efforts as dishwasher. Reluctantly I got up, fishing the car keys out of my pocket.

"G'night, Jacob. Say hi to Billy from me," Charlie said.

"Sure. Goodnight," I replied. Charlie disappeared into the house, leaving the door open for Bella to follow.

I turned towards her. She was on her feet too, still huddled up inside her blanket. She looked like a bundle with legs. A stray of hair was dancing over her face. I took a step closer to her, and gently tucked it behind her ear.

"See you tomorrow?" I asked hopefully.

"I'll come down after school, if you're home," she offered.

"I'll be home" I promised. I'd make sure I was home.

A smile stretched across her face. "Goodnight, Jacob," she whispered, and took a step closer to me. Her eyes moved to my lips, and I leaned down towards her. I pressed my lips lightly to hers, barely touching her lips with mine. I wouldn't risk messing up again. I was about to pull back, when I felt her hand against my neck, and she pressed me to her, hard. She kissed me, and I mean really kissed me. Her lips were soft and hungry against mine, and had yet to realize what was happening when she pulled away. Then she discovered the baffled look upon my face, and started laughing.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Jacob," she chuckled and stroked her hand across my cheek before she turned to walk inside the house. I was left numbly on the porch for a moment before I managed to locate my Rabbit. I felt a stupid grin plaster all over my face and I was seriously about to let out a howl of joy, but didn't because that would perhaps draw quite some attention. So I jumped a little bit up and down like an excited kid instead before I managed to get myself into the darn car.

After a short few hours of sleep (or at least it seemed short), I got up and went to school, which was just as boring as ever. Embry was with me, and we both secured us one extra hour of sleep during a history lecture. We phased first thing after regaining today's freedom. The school wasn't far from home so it was easy to fall straight back into our regular patrols.

Quil, Seth and Leah were there as ever, along with Jared and Paul. I wasn't staying for long, I'd just drop by on my way back to meet Bella.

_Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella. Jared was mocking. __Pup's on his knees._

While thinking about her, I involuntarily flashed an image of what happened between us on the porch yesterday.

_Hey, hey, hey! Quil cooed, excited, his girl obsessed brain always on the alert side. __Someone's making progress!_

I allowed my ego to boost a little by his words, but then Leah punctured it easily when I accidentally slipped some more front porch material.

_You started groping on her? She yelped, amused, ignoring Quil's cheering. Of course, when she said that every wall I was trying to build up inside my head fell down, and they all knew everything. Leah actually fell over on her back and started howling in hysteric laughter. Too bad I wasn't there to kick her ass._

_You expected her to... with you... On the porch? She mocked, and howled some more. To her, this was about the funniest thing she could imagine. __That's about the stupidest thing I've ever heard._

Paul and Jared snickered.

_Were you trying to suck her face out? It looks like it._

_No, he missed a spot right there, see?_

_Ahh, right. But that was a tiny spot._

Seth was wide eyed, but both Quil and Embry seemed impressed. Though a little amused, I had to admit. Leah was still howling. I guess someone needed a bit of fun in their lives.

_Enjoy being alone with that__, I told the others, thinking about Leah the Funmaker. They just sniggered and wiggled their eyebrows at me_

_Off to see Bella?_

_Again?_

_And maybe suck on her face?_

_Again?_

_Grope a little?_

_And maybe then some?_

I didn't even dignify that with and answer but phased back instead.

I reached the outline of our backyard, and walked over to the front of the house. I went inside, only to find dad reading the sports pages in the kitchen.

"Hi son," he greeted me. "How's school?"

"Same old," I said, and slumped down on the chair opposite him. "What've you been up to today?"

"I've been over at Sue's again," he replied, and turned a page. "She's getting better. Her kids will come back soon, wont they?"

"I guess," I shrugged. "It's been about two weeks now." Seth and Leah should be able to phase back soon. Quil had some time left though.

"What about you?" My dad peeked at me over the newspaper. "Any plans for today?"

Just then the dull silence was interrupted by the loud roar of a very familiar engine. I heard it before he did, but when he did it was unmistakable. He chuckled. "I guess I don't really need to ask," he said before he buried back into his sports.

"Guess not."

I stood up and walked outside to meet Bella just when her truck appeared behind the trees. She grinned to me and my stomach filled with excitement and happy expectations when I saw her.

She parked outside the house, and I pulled her into a tight hug as soon as she got out of her truck.

"Aouff," she gushed out, and I decided to let her escape. I released her and grinned down at her. She pretended to have problems breathing because I'd hugged her so tight to me. Or at least I think she was pretending.

"It's good to see you, Bells" I said, heartfelt.

"It's good to see you too, Jake," she laughed and tilted her head back so that she could look at me. Man, she was tiny!

"Did you have a good day?" I wondered.

Bella shrugged. "Nah. It was okay. Mike's been nosy."

"I bet he has," I muttered. "You're not really going out with him on Friday, are you?" I imagined Bella in a dark-cornered pizza place covered with slugs, and shuddered.

"I really hope not," she huffed, sounding annoyed and concerned at the same time. The frown reappeared between her eyebrows. She looked so honestly worried I couldn't help but laugh. It was so obvious she had no wish to go out with him. Besides, she was with me! Not that she was my girlfriend. Was she? I'd love for her to be my girlfriend. But I didn't know how she felt about that, and I didn't want to push it. We hadn't talked about that. My guesses were that her associations with the word "boyfriend" weren't very pleasant.

"How about you?" Bella asked, and tilted her head to the side. "Had a good day?"

"I do now," I confessed, and her eyes turned warm. When we started walking in the direction of the house, I gripped her hand in mine.

We entered the living room, and I noticed dad had moved from the kitchen to sit out in the back yard. It was a warm day I guess, spite the early season and cloudy sky. I yawned.

"Were you out running tonight?" Bella asked and sat down on the worn couch. I slumped down beside her, leaned back and closed my eyes.

"No, not tonight. I don't know, I'm just tired."

"Maybe I'm boring you already," Bella grinned. Then she added more seriously. "You're wearing yourself out, you know. It's not good for you."

When I opened my eyes to look at her, she had a concerned frown on her face. As I knew she would.

"Bells?" I said.

"Yes?"

"Remember what I told you about worrying? And how you do it too much?"

She just smacked her tongue loudly.

"You do," I insisted.

She sighed. "I know," she finally admitted. She curled her legs up in the sofa beside me, and rested her head on one of the cushions.

"I'm mostly right, you know," I teased. "You should listen to me more often."

Bella snorted. "Nice to hear your ego hasn't blown completely out of proportion."

She settled closer to me on the couch and rested her cheek by my neck. I could feel her quiet breaths against my shoulder. She was so close to me, and I wondered why the hell I hadn't kissed her yet. As if she'd heard what I was thinking, her eyes moved to my lips. She leaned forward, stretching her neck up. She searched my eyes for a brief second before she tentatively pressed her lips to mine.

She kissed me. I heard the couch whine a little when she miraculously moved closer to me, kissing me like only she could. The first thing I did was to make a vow to myself to keep my hands glued to the couch. I wouldn't start grabbing all over her, not again. It would only make it seem like I just couldn't help it. But then I felt her tongue against mine and my mind went back into that familiar haze.

When she pulled back, the only thing I could see clearly was the glow in her eyes. Everything was a blur at first. And then I realized my arms weren't glued to the couch at all, but to her waist. I guess I _couldn't help it. I was about to pull back, when she kissed me again. And again. And then I was the one kissing her. I didn't remove my hands from her waist, but held her closer to me instead. She didn't object._

I don't know how long we sat like this. Maybe it was only a few minutes, but it seemed like much more. We sat there, kissing, hugging, nibbling. Her legs were curled up beside me, almost over my lap. I had my arms around her, hands resting on her lower back. Bella started to trace patterns on my knee and up my leg with her fingertips. I was in seventh heaven. No, not the show.

When I looked down at her she seemed deep in thought, and the frown was back on her forehead. She was brooding. I could only guess about who.

"I want to be with you," I heard my self whisper. I wanted to be able to call her my girlfriend. To be sure she was with me, not having to worry about Cullen at all. I knew she still had some feelings for him, I just didn't know how strong they were. Maybe she didn't know herself. I only wished I didn't have to worry about that at all. I wanted her to be with me, and only me. If only. But Bella was never uncomplicated.

She peeked up at me through her lashes as I woke her from her reverie. "You are with me now, Jacob," she smiled, misinterpreting my meaning completely. I just smiled. I was with her now. I guess that was enough. For now.

We sat like that for a while, Bella tracing her fingers up and down my knee, deep in thought. I rested my head on top of hers. I was happy. How could I not be? It was quiet all around us, like any other typical afternoon. I heard my dad shuffled with the newspaper out in the back yard as he turned a page.

Suddenly, the quiet air was pierced by loud, shrilling howl. I jolted upright in the couch, making Bella drop down beside me. I recognized Sam, and he wasn't very far away. This was not just a hello-call. This was urgent and aggressive. It was an order.

"What was that?" Bella squeaked. "What's wrong?"

While she spoke, I could hear one pair of running footsteps approach the house.

"Jacob!"

It was Embry. I scrambled my self up from the couch and crossed the floor out in the hallway. I reached the door at the same time Embry wrenched it open. "Jacob!" he yelled again, before he noticed me. He was breathing heavily and it was obvious he had been running. His chest was heaving, his eyes wild and his shorts was pulled on in a hurry.

"Bloodsucker," he panted, still with one foot outside. "You need to come. She's here."

At his words, Bella's heart missed a beat behind me, before it returned as full thunder. She who? I stared at Embry, unable to react at first.

"Come _on," he urged, before he turned and launched himself back down the front porch and started full sprint across the lawn. The next thing I saw, his shorts were torn to pieces, and I watched as his tail disappeared behind a tree._

It took me one heartbeat.

_"Stay here!" I stumbled out to Bella, hurrying a glance back at her but immediately wished I didn't. Her face was terrified, frozen in shock on the couch. I heard my dad approach behind me as he wheeled himself in through the kitchen door, but I didn't wait to explain. In one stride I was down on the lawn, following Embry. I'd phased before I reached the forest edge. _

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_A.N: Ah, don't you feel like pushing that review button? Hey, I'll make you a deal: If you review, I'll send you spoilers for the next chapter. Just sayin' ;)_


	10. Bloodsuckers and vets

_Thank you all so much for reading, and a special thanks to all who reviewed. And to kallmecrazy for cleaning up my typos._

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**Bloodsuckers and vets**

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_Where is she? What's going on?_

It took a few seconds before I was able to take in the whole scenery before me. I was sprinting alongside with Embry; I'd nearly caught up with him. Everyone was here. Paul was running with the newcomers on our right, Sam and Jared sprinting down on our left, leaving Embry and me in the middle. We were surrounded by sweet, sickening stench. I almost felt like vomiting. Or coughing up a hairball, I dunno.

_She's almost past the boarder, _Sam urged to me. He seemed stunned like this just wasn't possible. _One second it was all clear, and the next second there was reeking all over. It was like if she knew exactly how to get through._

_She who?_

_Victoria, who else?_

_She was going for hit and run, _Jared snarled._ We managed to cut her off before she got too close_.

Through his eyes I saw a flash of red hair. He was the one with the devilish eyesight.

_Too close? _I wondered. _Too close to what?_

It was Sam who replied. _She was going headfirst to your house. She knew where Bella was._

I felt numb inside. This was getting too close to creepy. What if the leech came to see Bella at school or something? We couldn't guard her around there.

_Ahh, why did you have to go get the pup? _Leah was practically hissing with excitement. She felt shamelessly happy to be able to run out some agitation. _He can't focus, he's in _love. She spit the last word like it was something particularly repulsive.

_He's faster than the rest of us, _Embry growled. He was sprinting to keep up with me as it was, and he didn't like getting picked on by Leah.

_Not faster than me._ Leah jounced, easily pressing herself to run faster than the others.

I pressed my speed to match hers. In the lining of the trees in front of me, I saw a shimmer of red hair. Through my own eyes, this time. _We're just as fast, _I snarled at Leah. Okay, she was fast, I'd give her that, but she wasn't fast_er. And you're more of a pup than I am._

_I'm older than you, _she insisted.

_Not in this form, you're not. You're only two weeks old. That equals pup._

Leah only snorted and replied by running even faster.

As we approached the leech in front of us, we spread out behind her so that we would be able to cut her off should she try to turn around. She did try a couple of times, but quickly found out that wouldn't do. We traced her all the way to the Olympic National Park, where she started to dance around by the edges.

_She wants to get around to the ocean to get a safe escape, _Sam figured. _She's about to give up._

We all turned into full sprint simultaneously. I wanted to get her so bad. I wanted to tear her guts apart and dance around the camp fire.

_I'll bring the matches, _Leah agreed. To her, this wasn't as personal as too me. To her, _any _leech would do. Not that I'd object. Any leech was fine with me. But especially this leech. She was second on my leeches-I'd-like-to-put-on-fire list. It's not hard to guess who would be on top.

It didn't last long before Leah and I outran the others. We were both faster. The other guys gathered a safety line instead, in case the redhead would slip past us, while we raced after her. This was routine. I could see her in front of me now, blurring ahead. The stench from her hair hit me in the face making me gag. Beside me, Leah put all in and raced past me. She lunged, and for one second I was sure she had the leech. So was Leah, until the leech somehow slipped away, Leah falling out of course. She swore loudly inside her head as she got to her feet.

I kept my sprint up, inching closer. _I will catch her_. The leech took a sharp to the right, and in the movement she turned to look back over her shoulder. Her face was all pointy and full of sharp angles. Her blooded eyes met mine, and she smirked. I got this feeling she knew me. Us. Who I was, how we worked, what to do. Nothing she could have done right now could have pissed me off more than that little smirk. So when she turned back, I mustered up my last efforts and lunged at her.

I had her. I felt strays of her hair inside my mouth and bit down. She eased away just that moment and, mid air, I felt her ice cold hands against my neck.

I felt her teeth graze my shoulder.

_Jacob!_ Simultaneous thoughts of dread and warnings ran through my head.

I heaved away from her, at the same time waving a paw towards her face. It missed her by inches. I hit the ground shoulder first, stumbling a little to get on my feet. I got to my feet and started a sprint to hunt her down, spitting out a mouthful of her hair as I ran, but she was already too far gone. There was no way we would be able to catch up on her.

Other than my shoulder, I felt fine. She couldn't have punctured my skin with her teeth, or else I wouldn't have been able to get up on my feet at all. Vamps were poisonous. And now she'd slipped away again. I ran after her a few kilometers anyway, on pure will. But pure will never caught anything.

_Jacob, _I heard Sam think. _There's no point._

I knew there wasn't. We couldn't trace her forever. We would tire eventually and we also needed sleep and food. She didn't.

_Are you okay? _Embry urged. He replayed the scenario when the redhead lunged, her teeth grazing my fur. Then how I had heaved away, and how I'd hit the ground, hard. They'd seen it all through Leah's point of view. It looked worse through her eyes. It had looked like I'd got bitten.

I stretched my shoulders. She hadn't broken the skin, but I knew that if she'd had the opportunity she wouldn't have hesitated for one second. As I slowed down my running, I noticed my back was feeling a bit funny from the hard impact with the ground. It was almost like if I still could feel where her hands had pushed me down. I could smell my own blood, but not much. It would heal before I got home.

_You sure? _Quil was worried.

_Sure. Let's get back. _I muttered, irritable and grouchy that we didn't get her this time either.

_We'll get her next time._

_Yes. We _will _get her next time._

We ran back quickly, everyone too busy with their own thoughts no notice much else. As we reached La Push, a few of the others spread out to continue their patrols. It wasn't likely she would come back now, but best to not take the risk. I ran back home alongside with Embry, and we split up when we reached the forest edge behind my home. We gave each other quick goodbyes as he continued north; he was going home too.

I'd gotten the garage in view and was about to phase back when I heard the sound of running footsteps. I looked up, confused. There was no mistaking who it was. No one else could stumble that many times in such a short distance.

Bella appeared through the trees, her face pale and eyes wide. Her hair was windblown, and her chest was heaving after the short run from the house. She must have been outside on the porch looking after me, and then seen a movement when I arrived. Something stirred inside me when I saw her. She was here and she was safe and alive. That was all that mattered. That was the whole point to all this.

"Jacob," she whispered when she saw me, breathless. She stumbled over to me as fast as she could, almost tripping over a branch on the ground and her own feet. She stopped short only when she was standing straight in front of me. She stood there, staring up at my wolf form, trying to catch her breath.

"Jacob," she said again, still breathless. "You're okay. Are you okay?"

There was something about the look in her eyes that touched me. She was so honestly terrified and worried for me and my heart warmed all over for her. I rumbled a little as a response. I was okay now.

"Thank god," she whispered, and to my great surprise she stretched up and put her arms around my neck, pressing her cheek to my chest. She was hugging me. It felt...surprisingly good. A bit weird. No one had ever hugged me when I had four legs. I poked her shoulder with my snout to make her look up.

"Did you catch her?" she asked, leaning back so that she could look at me more closely.

I shook my head. Bella only nodded, and continued to study my face. I realized she'd never really seen me close up in this form before. She'd seen me, but only briefly. Not this close, not like this. She lifted her hand up to my face, stroking tentatively, touching my fur for the first time. I was thrilled that she could be so relaxed about this whole mess. Her fingers fluttered around and buried in my fur on my neck. I grinned at her and rumbled a little. Bella smiled back, before she drew a deep breath to settle herself. She took a step closer, and pressed her cheek to my chest again. I pretended to wave my tail like a dog. She giggled, before she sighed.

"I was so worried about you," she said, shaking her head. She moved back a little, so that she could see my face. She moved her eyes from my face and let her gaze wander over my shoulders, all the while dragging her hand across my neck. "And Billy was too. I was so sure something was..." She stopped short, drawing a deep breath of air. "Jake, you're bleeding!"

Huh? I tried to turn my head around so that I could see, but I didn't see anything. She was staring at the point where I'd had the hard impact with the ground. I felt fine. It must just have been a few bruises. Whatever it was, it must have healed by now.

Bella was horrified. Of course.

"What happened? What did she do? Did she do something to you?" Bella fretted. She went closer to my shoulder, trying to get a better look at it but afraid to touch. She was completely over herself. Come on, it wasn't that bad. "Does it hurt? You need to go to a doctor! Come, on Jacob, I'll get you to a doctor!"

And then she actually grabbed hold of my front leg and started pulling. When I didn't immediately follow, she just pulled harder. Or at least I think she did; I didn't feel much difference. But it looked like she was putting quite an effort into it.

"Come _on!_" she cried out, casting a worried look at my apparently bloodstained shoulder. I couldn't help but laugh at her. Did she expect to be able to drag me anywhere, least of all to the car? And let's say she got me all over there, and inside (even less likely), where would she take me? To the doctor? Or the vet? _Err, hi. My...erm...dog's been in a fight. _I could picture her stuttering explanation to why there was a wolf in the waiting room along with the cat and the goldfish.

At my laughter Bella spun around to look at me. She was getting annoyed and beside herself with worry.

"Jacob!"

I lowered my head and rolled my eyes at her.

Bella grumbled and crossed her arms over her chest. "Can you please phase back so I can get you to a doctor?"

_Sure. Can you please look away? _Not that I was the shy one, but guess who would get the blame if I suddenly started strolling around in front of her in my birth suit. Bella didn't move, but kept waiting for me to phase back. I imagined her foot would start tapping any minute now.

I sighed a little before I leaned down and pushed her shoulder with my snout.

"What?" she spread her arms out in a very Charlie-like movement. I pushed her shoulder again, spinning her around with the tip of my nose. Then I pointed her lightly in the back, pushing her away from me. I felt like such a dog; I never actually had to ever communicate with a human while in wolf form.

Bella turned to frown at me, before it dawned on her. "Oh," she said, a beautiful blush spreading all over her cheeks. "You need to... I'll just... go over there."

She stumbled her way back to the garage, her steps a little too fast. Her neck was crimson from her blush. I guess Bella wasn't completely unaffected about my nudity, then. A good sign. I smirked to myself as she disappeared behind the corner of the garage.

I phased, and pulled on the jeans I'd dropped to the ground earlier. Then I stretched around to take a closer look at my shoulder. Whatever it was, it had healed smoothly by now leaving only a few bloodstains and some dirt on my skin. Nothing to worry about. I'd known that.

Bella was there as soon as I rounded the corner of the garage. At first I thought she was giving me another hug, but really she was trying to push me around so that she could take a look at my shoulder.

"Does it hurt?" she fretted again, scrutinizing the supposed damage.

"Bella, it has already healed. It was nothing. Just a few bruises."

"What happened?" She walked around to face me, her face painted with worry, her frown enormous.

"I almost had her, but I fell. This is me tripping," I grinned at her. Compared to her, I never tripped. She looked dubious.

"Are you sure it doesn't hurt?"

"Yes."

"So you don't need a doctor?"

I laughed. "No, Bella I..."

I didn't really get to say anything else then, because her lips cut me off and she was kissing me frantically. I stood there, stunned, dumb like a donkey. It took me several long moments before I realized what was happening. I felt her arms around my shoulder, and she pressed herself to my numb body. When the feeling finally returned to my arms and I managed to put them around her waist, Bella pulled back to look at me.

"I was so worried," she whispered, dead serious.

If hunting down Victoria evoked these emotions in Bella, I almost never wanted to catch that leech. I could trace her around forever if I could get home to this.

My mouth crashed back down on hers, and for a moment we were back on her front porch yesterday. Her kisses were urgent and hungry, and my hands were tracing up and down her sides – but never further. I'd learned _something_ at least. She kissed me deeply, like only she could, and I reeled in the feeling of it. I guessed I could get used to this pretty fast. It was almost addictive. I felt her back being pressed up against something solid and realized we'd stumbled over to the garage wall.

Her body was somehow pinned between me and the wall, and she was trying to press me even closer. I was all in. This was a very pleasant surprise, almost a little too pleasant. As if my hands had an agenda on their own, they pressed against her lower back, slipping her shirt upwards. Bella tensed a bit when she felt my warm fingers against her bare skin, but kept kissing me hungrily. Her teeth grazed my lower lip and my mind became an incoherent wreck. I could feel the lines and curves of her small frame as she clung to me, her body pressed to each and every line of mine. I slowly dragged my hands up her back. Our 'just friends' was long dead and buried. She shivered at the warmth and I shivered at the touch.

Far away, on the other side of the garage and then some, I heard the creaking from my dad's wheelchair. _No, _I thought. _No. Not right now. _Just then Bella shoved her tongue further into my mouth and dragged her hands through my hair, and I drowned back into Bella world.

"Bella?" I heard my dad call from the porch. He couldn't see us from there. His voice sounded worried and I remembered he didn't know I was home safely.

With great effort and reluctance I pulled back from her. Our lips disconnected and we ended up staring at another for a few seconds. Her lips were slightly red and her eyes clouded. She didn't look like she'd heard my dad at all, but kept staring at me, her chest heaving. It was physical pain not to lean back down and kiss her again.

I heard some more creaking. "Jacob?" My dad called my name this time, still worried, and I returned to the presence.

"Over here dad," I called back. "I'm okay." My voice sounded funny.

At my words, Bella seemed to wake up too. With a last look at her, I grabbed her hand before I made our way out to the front of the garage. We walked through the small path through the trees towards the house, and I was still holding her hand when we reached the front of the house.

Dad looked overly relieved to see me, and I felt a sting of guilt that I hadn't gone to see him right away. He'd been worried too.

"How did it go?" he asked. "Did you catch her?"

I just shook my head and grimaced as I remembered. But we would catch that leech sometime. I'd catch her. Bella was standing silently beside me, breathless. I don't think my dad noticed.

Bella stayed for a few more hours. She sat on the other side of the couch from me, keeping a normal, polite, friendly, way-too-long distance. We didn't kiss again, or talk about it. Now and then I caught myself staring at her, and sometimes our eyes would meet. When it happened, she always looked quickly away, and a few times she tried to hide her blush without success. That blush was a lifesaver to me, because that showed she hadn't forgotten and wasn't completely unaffected. But she didn't mention the kiss we'd shared behind the garage, or anything else that had happened between us.

When we talked, it was about easy uncomplicated subjects that had nothing to do about us. We talked a bit about Victoria, and about Charlie, and Billy told us Charlie was trying to get hold of a two tickets to a Marines games next week. Bella acted like nothing out of the ordinary just happened, like we were just Jacob and Bella. Best friends. My ass. It might have something to do with my dad being around though, but I couldn't know for sure. Maybe it was because she wasn't sure about it. She had a tendency of tipping back and forth.

It was almost a week since Cullen called. Not that I was counting the days. Okay, I was. But the more time that past, the more likely it seemed that he wouldn't show up. If he'd wanted to be here, he'd been here by now. But the only vamp around these days was Victoria, and she was about to burn.

As it got darker outside, Bella stood up from her perch on the couch. She told Billy goodnight, and I followed her out on the front porch, closing the door behind us. She stood in front of me, fiddling with her jacket, avoiding my gaze. Her cheeks had turned slightly red again, and she was chewing on her bottom lip. She looked embarrassed. It was obvious she didn't know what to do or say. Was she thinking about the kiss we'd shared behind the garage? I knew I was.

"Bella," I said quietly. She looked up, and again she reminded me of a deer in the headlights. I lifted my hand to tuck some hair behind her ear, before I framed her face with both of my hands. Then I leaned down to her and pressed my lips lightly to hers. I wasn't sure if I was allowed to this, but I did it anyway. Her heart started racing, but I felt her relax against my hands. When I pulled back to look at her, her gaze shifted back and forth between my eyes. Then slowly a smile started to spread on her lips. A real, honest smile that made my heart jump.

I grinned back at her, and moved my hands from her face to wrap around her cold hand. "Come on. I'll drive you home."

We got into her truck, and I got the wreck started and then we rumbled out on the road. Bella was silent, staring out of her window. When I looked at her, I could see that she was smiling widely. It was a comfortable silence, only the radio buzzing silently in the back ground. I grinned absentmindedly as we reached the 110, my mind drifting off to a completely different place. I had one hand on the steering wheel, and the other still wrapped safely around hers. We didn't catch the leech today, but I was somehow feeling happier than ever. She'd kissed me again. Really _kissed _me. I couldn't stop grinning.

I woke up to the presence when I heard Bella giggle quietly beside me. I turned to look at her, and she was grinning from ear to ear. It took a few seconds before I realized I'd been humming quietly along with the radio. Ops.

"You think my singing is funny?" I asked her. My singing wasn't sound to the sore ear. I continued to hum, making my voice squeakier on purpose. Bella almost doubled over with amused laughter, clutching her stomach. When she finally managed to sit straight, she had to wipe her eyes with her sleeve.

"I don't think it's _funny_," she insisted, as the song on the radio faded and changed into another one. "I think your singing is _extraordinary._" Yeah, right.

I peered at her as she tried to sit up straight, and keep the laughter from her face. She was doing a poor job. Her self control wasn't the best. We sat in silence for a few seconds, and I turned my attention back to the road ahead. Then, very quietly (and deliberate this time) I started humming again, knowing it would make her laugh. True, the next second she was howling over with laughter. So much for self control, huh. I grinned at her. Man, I loved that girl.

We reached the outside of her house, and I parked on the side of the road. Charlie's cruiser was standing in the driveway, and he was probably waiting for her. We both got out of her truck, and I walked her up to the porch. I turned to her, and grabbed both her hands in mine.

"I don't know if I'll be able to see you tomorrow," I admitted, and her face fell a little; tomorrow was my time to patrol.

"Are you going to be out running all night too?" she wondered. The concerned frown was back.

"Nah, I don't think so," I smiled. "Just for a little while."

"Oh. Okay." Our eyes met, and her eyes turned uncertain. "I'll... err... see you later then."

Again, I leaned down to kiss her simply because I couldn't help not to. She stretched up to meet me halfway, and I felt her hands encircle my neck even before mine had been able to reach for her. Her lips were so soft against mine and I never wanted to leave. When she pulled back she was smiling up at me, her eyes warm. It was all very simple and sweet, but still there was more to it somehow.

"Be careful," she whispered.

"Sure, sure. Don't worry." We would cover this place tonight. No redhead would come close.

With a last look I walked past her and headed towards the forest behind her house. I turned to smile at her, and then heard her walk up on the porch and lock herself in. I grinned to myself as I reached the edge. I realized I was no longer counting kisses. Simply because I'd lost count.

* * *

It was the best patrol I'd had in a long time. It was one reason to this, and one reason only. _No Leah_. It was perhaps mean to say so, but oh how true. She had finally been able to phase back. The day after Victoria's hit and run, she'd managed to calm herself down completely. Believe it or not. And then there had been a slight pop, as she realized what she was doing, and then there was no more Leah inside the pack brain. She hadn't been here all day, and I was most thankful. All right, she could be nice, when she wanted to. She just didn't want to very often.

Seth had phased back to, a few hours later. It wouldn't last long though. They would be back soon enough. Newcomers were kind of edgy. Just a little insult and _bam; w_olf in the bedroom.

It was Friday, and I'd been out running with Quil and Embry ever since school finished. Paul was there too, and he was bored.

_Will you cool it, please?_ He dragged, referring to Quil's inner monologue about the redhead. Quil had been going non stop about catching her ever since she showed her ugly face two days ago.

_Why do you keep calling her redhead? _Quil chattered, ignoring Paul completely.

_I don't, _I thought. _Bloodsucker, leech. You choose._

I don't even know if he heard me. _About redheads...do you think the Cullens will show up or what? _He asked for the fifth time. And he wasn't worried, oh no, he was thrilled. He wanted to chase more vamps.

_Don't know, _I said for the hundredth time. _Hope not._

_I don't think he's gonna like you much, _Quil grinned.

I barked and laughed once. I didn't expect him to.

Quil continued. _I mean, he managed to lose Bella to a dog. That's about reason enough for him to..._

Quil's thoughts were interrupted by another presence.

_Damn, _she moaned. Oh joy. Leah was back. She'd been annoyed when her cell phone wouldn't work and she couldn't find her power adapter. That's all it took. Wolf in the bedroom, indeed.

_Come on, it wasn't that important! _She screamed to herself. _I want to go back!_

_Chill, _Quil thought. _We can't be that bad company._

Leah didn't reply.

_Just calm down, _I tried to tell her. _You should be able to get back soon._

_Eager to get me out of her, are we?_

_No, I just meant that... You said yourself that... _I started stuttering before I realized this was a hopeless case. I gave up. _Never mind. I'm out of here._

_I don't even bother to ask you where you're going. _Leah's thoughts were sour.

I cut her off and phased back. She was right anyway. Maybe Bella was home.

I got inside, and after rummaging around in the fridge for a moment I picked up the phone and dialed her number. She should be home from work by now. She answered on the fourth ring, and she sounded out of air.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bells. It's Jacob."

"Oh hi." I could almost hear the smile stretch over her face across the line.

"I was just checking to see if you're home. Can I come over?"

"Yeah, sure." She was still sounding breathless.

"Bells, what are you doing? Have you been out running or something?" I sniggered a bit. Bella out running. Disaster on two legs. Everyone hide.

"Yes and no," she answered.

"Huh?" Very confusing answer.

She elaborated. "You see, I was on my way to answer the phone, but then my sock got caught up in one of the floorboards up in my room. It's loose, I think. I'm going to have to take a look at it. Anyways, I fell and when I got up I had to run to get the phone, and I almost fell down the stairs too."

I sniggered a little. "Why am I not surprised?"

Bella just smacked her tongue impatiently. "Are you coming or not?"

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I hurried. "I'll take a look at that floorboard. If it's loose, it's a miracle you haven't stepped on one side and have the other side hit you in the face already."

"I can do it myself," she insisted. "We do have a hammer somewhere I think. I'll go see if I can find some nails too."

Uh oh. Bella with a hammer. Madman with a gun. Just as dangerous.

"Just wait for me, okay?" I hurried to say. "I'll be there in ten minutes."

I hung up and almost ran over to my car. If Bella was starting to wave around with hammers, it would only be seconds before she tripped and poked herself in the eye.

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_A.N: Uh oh..._

_You know the drill; If you review, I'll send you some spoilers;)_


	11. Stench

_A.N: I can't believe you guys pushed this story over a hundred reviews. Thank you all so much for all for reviewing, specially you who I can't reply to in person. You're too sweet:) Creds to Kallmecrazy for putting up with my sloppy mistakes and betaing this story. You're spoiling me big time._

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**Stench**

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I drove the familiar road over to Forks, excited about meeting Bells again and a little bit worried. Bella and hammers weren't such a good match. It wouldn't surprise me if she didn't wait for me at all, stubborn as she was. I might have been driving a bit faster than what was strictly legal. One day I'd surely get a ticket. I snickered at the thought of Charlie waving me in.

About ten minutes later I reached her house, and parked at the side of the road. As I locked the car I strained my ears to hear if there was a sound of hammering, or even the sound of hammer-meeting-Bella, but it was all quiet. I walked over to the driveway and knocked on the door. The house was completely silent, except for the sound of her heartbeat coming from upstairs. I let myself in.

"Bells?"

She didn't reply. Sweet mother, she didn't manage to hit herself in the head with her toolbox did she? I'd talked to her only ten minutes ago! I called her name again as I got into the hallway and peeked up the stairs. Nothing. I climbed the stairs in only three strides, and then peeked into her room expecting to find a Bella-wreckage swimming in a pool of blood.

She didn't, thankfully. She was sitting on the floor with her back to me, the loose floorboard in front of her. She was holding a few items in her hand.

"Hey, you started without me!" I accused her, as I got into her room and closed the door. "What are y..?"

I stopped short when I saw Edward Cullen's face swim up at me from her hand.

It was so unexpected and so uncalled for that even if it was way out of proportions, it actually took me a couple of seconds before I accepted that it was only a photograph. Then I got angry. Was she wallowing in old photos? Before she saw me, even? Being nostalgic, huh? The floorboard was lifted aside in front of her, revealing a little hiding place right under her floor. Had she hidden some old boyfriend-treasures under her floorboard when they were dating, and forgotten about them? I felt my whole brain sour at the thought. She couldn't have done that. She wouldn't. Besides, it didn't seem likely. I tore my eyes away from the sickening photo and turned to look at her. Then I noticed how still she was. Too still.

I hesitantly walked over to her. When I walked up to her side and saw her face, my heart sank in my chest. She was staring down on the photo in her hand, her expression frozen in surprise. It looked like she'd been sitting like this for a while. How ever this image had gotten under her floorboard, she hadn't been expecting to find it. Maybe she'd forgotten that she ever put it there, or... Or maybe she didn't put it there at all. I crouched down beside her on the floor and then carefully removed the image from her frozen hands. Her eyes didn't waver, but kept staring blankly down in her now empty lap. What was happening to her? I put the image away behind me, carefully laying it face down. For the brief second I looked at it, I realized it was a picture of both of them together, only it had been folded in two down the middle.

Just as it should be. She was too good to even be on the same page as that monsterdouche_._

I reached for the other item as well, and moved it out of Bella's range of vision. It was a CD, and it looked like a home-made one. I decided I didn't want to think about that right now. I moved closer her. It didn't look like Bella acknowledged my presence at all.

"Hey," I said, before I put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her into loose embrace. Bella drew a shaky breath against my shoulder, and I held her tighter too me. She finally seemed to realize she wasn't up here alone any more.

She leaned into me for a long time, and I listened to her uncontrolled breaths against my shirt. This was the second time I came here only to find her in a heap over him. Even when he wasn't here, he was breaking her down. Her cheeks were dry and pale, so luckily she hadn't been crying this time. After a while her heartbeat settled some, and her face was no longer frozen in surprise.

I was just about to pull back so that I could look at her more closely, when I felt her lips press against my shoulder. Just over the hem of my shirt. Cold, soft. And then she did it one other time. I tilted my head down to look at her. She was resting her cheek against my chest, peering up at me. Her eyes met mine. I couldn't make out the expression on her face, it was simply a mixture of several emotions.

I don't know who did what and who moved forward first or who made what happen. But suddenly we were kissing, her lips soft and hungry. She moved her slim hands up to frame my face and then dragged them through my hair, all the while kissing me. There was a desperate edge to her lips that I didn't like, but also was somehow thrilled about. I kissed her back, both eager and surprised, and let my hands slide down to rest around her waist. She moved closer to me, and slid her legs up so that she was sitting over my lap. It didn't last long before my mind became that familiar incoherent wreck again. She was almost straddling me, and it didn't take me long to realize that this position was a bit compromising and highly dangerous. There was a great risk of exposure and at the most wrong timing. I was very sure she wouldn't like that, but just then she deepened the kiss and I forgot to care.

Just a small part of me understood that this maybe wasn't right just now. She wasn't herself. She was way too vulnerable. But the majority of me didn't think about that at all. I don't think I was able to at the moment. My hands started roaming her body as hers did mine, and I held her as close to me as I could. It wasn't before her lips disconnected from mine so that she could draw a deep, shaky breath, that I got a little more clear view of things.

Bella buried her face in the corner of my neck, and I wrapped my arms around her in a tight hug. This was too much, now. She clung to me, clutching my waist tightly. When her breaths steadied some, I lifted her up as I got up from the floor and on to my feet. I placed my hands gently under her thighs, and she held her self up with her arms around my neck, still hugging me. She weighted nothing. I carried her over to the bed, and put her down on the very edge. I sat down on my knees on the floor in front of her. Then carefully I removed her arms from my neck so that I could look at her face. Her eyes were closed.

"Bells?" My voice sounded huskier than normal. She opened her eyes, and we stared at each other for a few moments. I had a feeling she deliberately didn't move her eyes in the direction of what was laying on the floor behind the bed. I couldn't blame her. "Are you okay?"

She didn't answer immediately, but drew a deep breath while staring into my eyes. She looked fine, a bit shaky perhaps, but fine. After a few seconds, she nodded slowly.

I was debating with myself if I should ask about what she'd found or just let it be, but she beat me to it.

"It was just there," she said, and I knew she was talking about the photo and the CD. "Under the floorboard. I'm sorry. I don't know how it ended up there. I'm sorry you found me like this, it was just...I just... Sorry." She was rambling.

"Bells," I said, stopping her. I reached up to wipe some hair away from her forehead. "Will you please stop apologizing?" I leaned in to rest my forehead against hers and she sent me a shaky smile. I held her gaze, and watched for the while it took for her eyes to turn calm. Or calm_er _rather. Deep inside I was spitting angry, but not with her. It would only make things worse if I took it out on her. This was everything but her fault.

Bella drew another deep breath and closed her eyes briefly as if to settle herself. When she opened them again, her expression was more sincere.

"I should go and make dinner. Charlie will be home soon," she said, and leaned back a little. I could hear she was slowly returning to normal. Or pretending very hard. One of the two.

"Okay," was all I said. With a last look at her I got back up on my feet to let her pass. Bella smiled to me, a little strained, before she got up from the bed and walked out without another look back.

I turned to look at the items on the floor. This was all starting to freak me out. Sick, sick, sick. If he'd left in the first place, why couldn't he just stay away? But oh no. He calls her, and pretends to be his father. He says he needs to see her. And then, tam tam, big surprise, he hid some stuff in her room before he left. Unless Bella had hid this herself while sleepwalking, something I really doubted. The douche had probably put it here himself. Which made me even more worried that he intended to come back. Maybe he'd planned to return eventually all along, and maybe this was the great excuse. Or maybe he didn't intended for her to find it at all, but of course she would eventually. I didn't know. Either way it was just creepy.

I quickly bent down to pick up the CD and the photograph. It still reeked. I folded out the photo so that I could see both of them at once. They were standing close, too close, smiling. It stung a little to see the two of them together like this. To see her with him.

I had only met him three times in my life. I didn't know he was a vampire then. The first time when me and my dad went over here to watch a game. I'd noticed his great car, and realized he was here to see Bella too. The second time I met him was when he kissed her neck in the car. It was when dad had insisted on coming over to warn Charlie about the superstitious stuff and the first time I realized they were dating. The last time I'd seen Cullen was at the prom with Bella. To pass on the message from my dad. Back then I'd thought my dad was ridiculous and senile. Guess he wasn't so after all. My nose wrinkled in disgust as I stuffed the photo and the CD into my back pocket. I'd burn them later or something.

I put the floorboard back in place. It was easy to fix. When I was done, it looked just like the other floorboards. I briefly wondered if there were more treasures around here, if the leech had more secret hiding places in her room. I quickly dismissed the thought. There couldn't be. But if there was... I didn't want to find out.

I got up on my feet, trying to be content that Bella didn't ever get the opportunity to nail her hand to the floor.

I found Bella in the kitchen peeling vegetables. She turned to look up when I entered, and smiled when she saw me. Her smile was almost back to normal by now. Just the slight frown on her forehead proved there had been something wrong. Bella turned and walked straight over to me, dropping the peeler and a carrot in the sink with a loud cluck. It didn't look like she even noticed. When she reached me, she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me down toward her lips. She kissed me sincerely, ignoring my astonished stature and numb lips. I couldn't help but get surprised every time she did this. I quickly got over it though. This was easy to get used to. I placed my hands around her waist and she pulled back to look at me.

"Thank you," she whispered. Her eyes were dead serious and I knew she was talking about what just happened up in her room. For getting her out of there, maybe. Or for taking the problem off her hands.

"Are you okay?" I asked her again.

Bella smiled a little, her lips tight, and nodded rapidly. "Yeah." Translation: _I will be._

I smiled at her, and she returned it. I would do my best to make her okay as soon as possible, then. I framed her face with both of my hands before I leaned down and kissed her again. Yes, I could get used to this pretty fast. Her lips were unbelievably soft against mine. I think I might be addictive already.

Way too soon she pulled away, smiled a little before she resumed to the dinner. I followed her over to the sink like a lovesick puppy. _Bella just kissed me, Bella just kissed me._ I'd kissed her. I could kiss her now if I wanted to. Could I? I looked over at her and she sent me a tentative smile. I think I could.

"Wanna help?" She handed me the peeler.

"Sure."

"Here." She handed me the carrot too, before she turned her back to me to stir in a casserole.

"Wow, thanks!" I grinned and took a bite of the carrot. That girl needed some cheering up. Or to just let out some emotions. Whatever. I volunteered. I started chewing loudly and watched with delight as Bella slowly turned back to look at me, her eyes exasperated.

"You were supposed to peel it, not eat it," she pointed out, nodding toward the soon non-existent carrot in my hand. She was trying to stay annoyed, but didn't quite manage.

"What? This?" I asked her innocently and took another bite, chewing loudly. My crunching filled the kitchen.

"No, you nutcase. Peel."

"Did you just call me nutcase?" I raised my eyebrows.

A grin threatened to break through her serious mask. "What if I did?" she dared.

"If there's a nutcase in here, you're the best match."

She smacked my arm at that, and then shook it up and down when it hurt. I couldn't stop laughing at her after that, and as punishment she set me to peel potatoes in stead.

When Charlie arrived about half an hour later, there was no trace of sadness or shock in Bella. He found us in the middle of a peeling fight. She seemed to have forgotten everything that happened earlier, at least for now. After I'd casually thrown potato peelings at Bella for about five minutes, she'd finally exploded and tipped the hole bowl with peel over my head. Charlie just took in the scene in front of him before he noted dryly that Bella missed a spot over my right ear. Then he turned and disappeared into the living room. His steps were suspiciously light and I suspected that he was only happy to come home and find Bella in such a good mood. 'Good' as in revengeful. That the kitchen was to pay, didn't seem to trouble him at all. Not that he was in position to protest either. Bella seemed to be in charge of both the food and the cleaning in this house. Charlie didn't really have much of a say.

After cleaning up the kitchen, (yes, I helped) and eating dinner (still helping) and doing dishes (helped there too), it started to get darker outside and it was time for me to head home. Bella followed me out on the front porch and this time didn't hesitate when I leaned down to kiss her goodnight. It felt like an enormous freedom to be able to just do that. Not wonder if or whether or how, just do it. Kiss her. Without getting any fists in my face.

"I'll see you soon, right?" she whispered when we broke apart. The concerned frown was back. "Be careful," she added.

"Of course," I assured her. "Don't worry so much, Bells."

I got over to my car and was really floating on a happy wave, but of course the wave had to reach the shore sometime. I got in behind the wheel and was about to get the engine going, when I felt something pointy poking me in the thigh. What the...? I fumbled under me before I realized what it was. Anger returned to my before spotless mind, and I had to stumble a bit to get the effing CD and photograph out of my back pocket so that I could sit properly. I'd forgotten all about them. Bloody leech just couldn't leave my mood alone, could he. And now the stench filled my car too. Wonderful.

I drove straight home intending to empty it all in a trashcan out of Bella's reach. Immaculate the photo. Maybe chew a bit on the CD too. But when I got home, the photograph in my hand, trash bin ready and pleading, I couldn't. Something in me just told me _no. _This wasn't right. It simply wasn't up to me.

I knew Bella still cared for the scum. Even if she maybe wouldn't admit it herself. And maybe some day, a long time from now, she would ask me about this CD or photo. And maybe she would wish I didn't throw them away. I knew she was only glad I removed them today, so that she wouldn't have to deal with them. She couldn't deal with them now. But maybe she would want to later. As much as I wanted to gather the bits and burn the pieces, that was her decision to make. Not mine.

Annoyed with myself, I strode into my room, items still in hand. I had to get rid of these things before I spread the stench throughout the whole house. The only place I could think to put it was inside my upper closet. What I wanted most was to dig it down in the dirt somewhere, but maybe that was a bit too conspiratorial.

I was on my way to stuff it away inside the closet, when I stopped again. I wondered if she'd listened to the CD. I wondered what it was. Was it his voice, talking to her? Was it a message? Or was it a disc with photos? Video? Sextape? Or just some sappy love songs? I was tempted to open it and see, but stopped in my own tracks. I quickly stuffed it inside the closet and slammed the door shut with a loud bang. I wouldn't listen to whatever the hell it was. None of my business. And Bella would be furious if she found out I did.

When I got out later that night to run my fair share of patrols, my mind had turned into a state of numbness. I was so happy after spending the day with Bella, kissing her, being with her like this, and at the same time so angry because of the leech, my brain had settled somewhere in between. It was simply a grey shade of dull.

_Dude! There you are! _Quil was still a buzzing mosquito. Sam and Embry were out running as well, and Leah. Seth wasn't here; he must be somewhere else trying very hard not to work himself up. He wasn't much better at controlling his outbursts than Leah was.

_Thanks, _she spat.

_Welcome._

_How was your date with Bella?_ Quil wanted to know._ Still no hanky panky? _He wiggled his wolfy eyebrows at me, but I was too tired to care.

_Not much, no._

_What's wrong? _He asked, more seriously. I was too tired to build up any walls. Not that it was a secret.

_What was that? _Embry chimed in after my short flood of thoughts. _He hid _what_ under her floorboard?_

_Photo and a CD._

_He made her a CD? With what, love songs?_

_I dunno._

_A homemade CD. Well, now we know what you're _not _giving Bella for Christmas._

I chuckled a little. _Guess not._

_And you put it in your closet?_

_Uh huh._

_That's going to stink, man._

_I know._

_But hey, _Quil joined in after poking in my memories some more, absorbing everything that happened._ You got yourself a nice little spit swap on the floor there, _he winked, replaying when I'd found her in her room. Trying to cheer me up, or maybe he was just being Quil. Probably the latter.

_You really can be a prick sometimes, _I told him kindly. Bella had been broken down, not passionate.

_And you can be so sensitive I might start calling you Josephine, _Quil told me just as kind.

Leah snorted. _Josephine. Suits you, hon._

_Gee Leah. What should I start calling you? Sugar pumpkin? Leah-ve me alone?_

_Whatever, Josephine._

_You seriously can't start calling me that._

_Why Jose, don't you like it? _Leah smiled sweetly and flashed her eyelashes. Ugh.

Thankfully, we were interrupted then. Jared appeared in the back of our minds, his thoughts not focused on us at all. We all noticed right away something was different, and for a moment we were all in shock as we approached what was going on inside his head. Jared didn't seem to notice our stunned minds at all, he was too distracted. To put it mildly. Something knotted in my stomach, but I forced it away for now.

_Oh great. _Leah was the first to break the silence. _Another lovey-dovey prick._

I ignored her indication, as did Sam. _Jared! You imprinted!_

_On who? _Embry wondered, surprised, as he pictured the girl in Jared's mind. She was a black haired round faced girl I thought I might recognize from school somewhere.

_Kim, _Jared thought sincerely, embracing the name. His thoughts were all blurry and dreamy and filled with her. Right. The girl's name was Kimberly, now I remembered.

Leah rolled her eyes and started grumbling like a senile person. No specific words, but her message was clear. Jared didn't even notice her. Or any of us, for that matter.

_I can't describe her, _he thought, already far away. Apparently he decided to try anyway. _She's amazing. I turned around and she was just there. She is perfect. And funny. I started talking to her and it was just perfect. Perfect. We talked the whole class through. And she said she would see me tomorrow. Can you believe it? I wish it was tomorrow already._

He was rambling along like only a man in love could do.

_Jared, you sound like a girl, _Quil insisted with feeling.

True. He _was_ rambling on like a girl. Leah mumbled something in protest, but we ignored her. Leah was Leah, she didn't count.

_Ah, great. So now I'm not even female, _she moaned. I ignored her again.

Through Jared's eyes I could feel that pull, the pull only Sam had towards Emily. A need, a direction towards this girl. Kim. I didn't like it. It seemed wrong. And it only made me think about things I didn't want to think about.

Imprinting was a sensitive subject. Both to certain members of the pack, but also to me. Because I hadn't, didn't, wouldn't. And I wanted to keep it that way. I hadn't imprinted on Bella and I didn't want to either. It frightened me to might loose control of free will like that. To just erase all earlier relations without consent. Just look at what that did to Sam and Leah. But Bella and I wouldn't be like that because I would never. Ever. If I hadn't imprinted on her, I wouldn't on anyone.

I realized Leah was paying attention to my train of thoughts. I expected her to be angry or upset that I had been thinking about her, but she was surprisingly calm and mild. Well, for Leah. There was something else there to, directed at me. Was it acceptance? I realized what she was about to do right before she did it. She was calmer now that I'd even seen her before. For a moment her mind went blank. The next second she'd disappeared. She'd phased back. For the second time. Probably a good idea, all things considered.

_You didn't tell Kim anything, did you? _Sam interrogated Jared. _About us, about you?_

_Of course not! _Jared retorted, insulted. _I would never upset her like that. I just met her. She would think I was a freak._

Oh, the irony.

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_A.N: Please let me know what you think. If you leave a review, I'll send you some spoilers for the next chapter :)_


	12. Rocket science

**Rocket science**

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Since Jared imprinted on Kim, the pack brain had become all the more intolerable than ever. I couldn't blame him though, he simply couldn't help it. But during the next week, we all had the feeling we knew this girl a little too well. Sam was the only other one who had imprinted, and he had always been very guarded. Especially since Leah joined the pack. He was always focused, always in control. He very rarely slipped on these things. Jared didn't even attempt to control himself.

_Now you know how it feels, _Paul thought to me one day. Only then did I realize this was about how it had been for the others all along. This wasn't much of a difference for them, they had gotten used to it when I had been mulling over Bella.

_'Had been mulling'? _Paul mocked. _Why do you keep talking in the past?_ _You still do. _

I guess that was true. But at least I managed to control it now; I wasn't all as heart-pouring as Jared...

_Hah! Yeah right. _Paul snorted.

Gah.

It was worrisome that yet another member of our small pack had imprinted. Two people out of eight. One fourth. Maybe this was more common than anyone thought. I tried not to think about it too much, but it was constantly gnawing on my subconsciousness. Especially when it was forced into my brain every wolf-second like it was now.

The days that followed were pretty much uneventful on the leech side. No redhead, no Cullen. The more time that past, the more confident I became that Cullen wouldn't return. He'd probably had second thoughts, or changed his mind. He would have been here by now, if he wanted to, it'd been weeks since Bella last heard from him. Even Charlie seemed happy, and like he almost forgotten Cullen had ever called. Bella didn't mention either the phone call or the stuff she found under her floorboard. We didn't talk about it, and she seemed to have forgotten all about it. She seemed better. Nothing could have made me happier.

I spent as much time with her as I could. During the days that followed, our relationship progressed even more. Now I could kiss her when I saw her. I didn't have to consider everything up and down. I would kiss her, and she would maybe blush a little. But I was allowed. It was still very new for me to be able to do that. It started to become a regular pattern between us, the awkwardness and uncertainty slowly slipping away. It was the happiest I'd felt in a long time. We shared a few heated moments on her front porch too, but nothing happened that hadn't happened before.

We weren't official, though. We didn't ever discuss or talk about us. If we were a couple or not. If I could call her my girlfriend, and the other way around. I had a feeling she wasn't too fond of the phrase 'boyfriend'. Bad experience. But that didn't matter to me. We were still just Jake and Bells. Even though we weren't officially together, it didn't mean anything less. She knew how I felt for her. And I knew she cared for me too, even if she didn't say it out loud.

It was Thursday, and we were over at her place. I'd come here after school, and now we were sitting alone in the living room. The dinner was on the stove, waiting for Charlie to come home. Bella sat beside me on the couch, her legs draped over my lap. We'd been sitting like this for a while, talking. She was fiddling with the sleeves of her shirt, making her eyes occupied as we spoke.

"Has Billy told you about the Mariners game this weekend?" she wondered, twirling a loose strand from her shirt around her pinky.

"He's been rambling nonstop about it for a week now," I said. It was true. Charlie had ordered two tickets to this epic event. One for himself and one for Dad. The only question was if they actually would be able to go, considering the unsure situation at the police station. If there were more killings (which equaled more Victoria, in what case I wouldn't be sitting here), Charlie wouldn't be able to go. But up till today, their weekend held a bright baseball-filled horizon. "Dad hasn't been at an actual game since he was about twenty, so he's pretty excited."

"Tell me about it," Bella rolled her eyes at me. "I think Charlie has forgotten I'm not really that into baseball. He has been trying to teach me everyone's names and the whole biography of a guy called Ichiro-something. There was something about a car... I can't remember."

"Suzuki. Yeah, you're pretty much describing my week."

I reached out to place my arm around her shoulders and Bella settled closer to my side.

"Let's just hope they'll be able to go," she whispered, moving her gaze up to meet mine.

She probably said it because she wanted them to have a good time, not because it meant we would have the weekend all alone together. She probably hadn't thought about that at all. That was just pervy me.

"I'll guess we'll find out soon enough."

I stretched forward so that I could kiss her lightly on the lips. She kissed me back, and leaned a little closer to me. I felt her hands sneak up around my neck and run up my hair. I captured her bottom lip between mine and she smiled.

We sat there, kissing and nibbling for what seemed like hours. Her lips were so soft and I felt the hairs on my arm raise when she absentmindedly traced her fingers up and down my neck and chest. This was all still new, but no longer awkward. I loved that.

"Do you have any plans for the weekend?" she wondered after a while, when I'd started kissing her cheek and her lips were free to ask questions.

"Mmm, no," I mumbled against her cheek. I pulled back a little so that I could look at her. "Do you have any plans?"

She just shook her head and kissed me again, and I forgot all about what we'd just been talking about. There had been something about our weekend I think, (Hah, listen to me! "Our" weekend!), and I'd been wondering if she was implying something, thinking about something. But what it was was completely blown from my mind. I was kissing _Bella Swan. _It was like an insane, wonderful, wonderful dream.

Bella sighed, and deepened the kiss. I felt her tongue against my bottom lip and I went crazy. I started to kiss hungrily down her neck and my mind went completely blank when she tilted her head back, enjoying. I still hadn't gotten over the fact that I was allowed to do this. I kissed and nibbled down her neck and she sighed again. I was straining not to do the same myself. She absolutely blew me away.

Without ever making a conscious decision to do so, my hand moved to trace down her chest. It was like a reflex, it felt so natural to do it. She was so close to me here on the couch, and seemed to be enjoying the kissing as much as I had. But I remembered the last time I'd done this. Front porch. Misunderstanding. Not good. Understandable. Before I could get a grip and pull back, a moan so quiet it was almost inaudible escaped her lips. She pressed herself to me a little, running her hands trough my hair, disheveling it. After that, I really forgot everything about withdrawal. It wasn't difficult.

Bella moved even closer to me, and I felt the back of the couch pressing into my back. The touch of her was so soft under my fingers, her frame so tiny. As she leaned forward, a curtain of her hair fell forward grazing my cheek. My mind was a blurry, crippled wreck, all my thoughts meshed together in a big jumble. I couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't do anything else than responding to her kisses.

I let my fingertips graze the small of here back, right where her shirt ended. She shivered, and I flattened my palm on her lower back. So soft and tiny. I stroke my hand up her back, feeling her spine curve under my hand. Where our skin met it felt like electricity, like sparks and fire. It ran through my whole body all the way to my toes, and I simply couldn't get enough of her.

As my hands started roaming, she responded as _her _hands started roaming _me. _This was new. She traced her fingers down my chest and stomach, and then moved them to my knee. She moved her hands up, lingering dangerously close to my thigh. I tried not to focus on that, but it was pretty much impossible. If I didn't get my mind back under control soon, I would end up screwing it all up once again. Very soon, actually. I tried to memorize the lyrics of a song I heard on the radio. Bella nibbled on my lower lip. I tried to think about my last boring history lecture. Bella shoved her tongue into my mouth. Math test. I was doomed. Her hands wormed upwards, resting on my upper thighs. Oh holy mother.

This immensely sweet torture was short living, because the next second I could hear Charlie's rusty police cruiser turn into the driveway outside. _Man. _Still, I couldn't help being relieved. If this had continued much more, I would have screwed up big time.

Bella heard it too, and she pulled back. She looked at me, and a deep crimson blush spread in her cheeks as she returned to the presence and realized what we were doing. "Uhm. I'll just... err... dinner," she stuttered as she untangled from me and got up from the sofa. I watched her as she hurried into the kitchen. Her neck was still bright red. I was glad she didn't turn around to look at me, because I felt pretty light headed my self.

Charlie's steps were dancing bright and I could swear I heard him make a little flip right before he opened the door. The reason why was plastered on his face the moment he appeared. He didn't even bother taking off his jacket or gun belt like he usually did, but strode straight in.

"I'm off!" he exclaimed loudly, his grin stretching from ear to ear. "I'm off! I'm free! This is going to be _the _game of all times!"

Looks like the old men would be leaving us alone for the weekend then.

Charlie danced over to Bella in the kitchen, waving his gun belt around like a lasso, giving her a bone crunching hug. On his way back to the living room I swear I saw him jump up and down a few times. He was pretty much acting like I felt right now. But for completely different reasons, obviously.

"Hey there, Jacob!" he cheered when he noticed me. Then he practically ran over to the phone to bring on the happy news to my dad. It looked like he considered doing a back flip while dialing the number, but didn't risk it. Dad answered, and they cheered and rambled like old ladies. I could hear my dad across the line, and he was just as excited.

While they talked I got up from the couch to help Bella dining the table. We prepared for dinner in silence. Now and then our eyes would meet, and the blush would return to her cheeks. Our hands brushed when she handed me a mug of water. I smiled, and her blush increased as she smiled back. When she turned her back to me to stir in the sauce on the stove, I walked up behind her. I couldn't help it; I had to be close to her again. I gently moved her hair aside to the other shoulder and kissed her neck lightly. Her neck was still flushed, and her skin felt warmer against my lips than ever. I could see she was smiling out of the corner of my eye. Haze. Bliss. I know _I _was grinning, all right.

Dinner was consumed in silence, at least on mine and Bella's part. Charlie had gotten a very uncharacteristic verbal-diarrhea, happily filling us in of every side of baseball we didn't already know. He probably interpreted our silence as deep concentration, which was okay. His happy explaining was pretty entertaining to me. Bella's face was still a little redder than usual, but Charlie seemed too preoccupied to notice.

After we'd eaten, Bella busied herself with collecting the dishes over to the sink. Charlie grabbed the opportunity to pull me a little to the side in the hallway. He was still looking immensely pleased, but somehow he managed to frown. It looked a little out of place on his otherwise thrilled face.

"Jacob," Charlie said. "I was thinking. You know Billy and I will be away for a few days now. The game isn't before Saturday, and it's a good drive to get there. We might not be home until late Saturday night. Maybe Sunday if we book into a hotel. I guess it all depends on the mood, you know," he said dreamily. Probably picturing himself taking a picture with whatshisname. He spaced out for a second before he returned to the presence. "Yeah. So what I was saying... While I'm away, Bella will be here alone."

Suddenly I felt a little uneasy. I couldn't help but look over my shoulder to see if Bella could be listening in on our conversation. Apparently, Charlie had chosen this moment to give me the "leave-my-daughter-alone" talk. He'd probably refuse for her spend the night over at La Push (in Rachel's room, of course!).

Not that she would anyway. Not that he had anything to worry about. We weren't _there _yet, I guess. But Charlie had obviously made up his mind about that. I had no idea how Charlie knew our friendship had progressed into something more, since it wasn't exactly official. We hadn't really talked about it ourselves yet. But I couldn't lie to Charlie. If he said she couldn't sleep at my place, even if it was just as friends, then she couldn't do that. My shoulders slumped a little. I guessed I would just settle on running patrols around her house at night, then.

"Charlie, I know you're..." I started.

"You'll promise to keep an eye on her, will you?" Charlie said quietly, not aware that I'd said anything at all. "It doesn't seem likely that that Cullen chap will show up now, after this long. But just in case anything happens. It's nice to know she's not completely on her own."

I was stunned for the second it took me to reply.

"I will," I promised. I'd keep both my eyes on her. I wish I had more eyes. But it didn't seem likely to me that Cullen would show up either, not after this long. Maybe he'd changed his mind, or maybe it had all just been a misunderstanding. Whatever. Right now, I was still waiting for that stay-away-from-my-daughter lecture.

Charlie patted my shoulder two times, and then he walked past me into the living room. I was left in the hallway feeling stupid. Was that it? Man. I was turning mushy.

After gaping a little bit I got myself back into the kitchen. Bella was already spraying soap into the dishwater. I grabbed a towel and stood beside her.

"You okay?" I asked, splashing some water on her.

"Mhm," she smiled, splashing twice as much back and soaking half my t-shirt. I turned to look at her slowly, my expression clear. This meant revenge. Drowning alert. When I was about to splash back, she grabbed the towel and held it in front of her. "Hey, hey, hey! You started! Not fair!"

I grumbled and stopped mid-splash. Typical girl trick. Blame it on _me._ Not cool.

Bella laughed a little at my expression. "Why is it every time you're supposed to help we end up throwing stuff at each other?"

"It's much funnier this way."

"Sure," she said before she stuffed the towel back in my hands and started washing. "But it doesn't _help _much."

We finished the dishes without any more splashing (much), and Bella packed up some leftovers for me to bring home to dad. I called out a goodbye to Charlie who was buzzing around the house, excited like a little kid. Bella followed me out on the front porch.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked. Hoped, hoped, and hoped.

"I can come over after school, if that's okay?"

I smiled and nodded. "Do that."

I leaned down to kiss her lips lightly. I had to control my own breaths not to get them out of hand. When I pulled back, her cheeks were a little rosier than before.

"Bye," she whispered.

"Bye Bells."

By the time I reached home my whole body was purring with happiness. I would get to spend the whole weekend alone with that girl. I didn't care what we were doing, we could be studying all day and all night for all I cared. But I got to be with her. I bounced over to the house and got inside, the door slamming loudly behind me.

"Hi dad!" I called out, flipping off my shoes in the hallway. I found him in the living room, on his way to the kitchen. "So it looks like you're going to the game, huh?"

"You probably found out even before I did, didn't you?" Dad was literary beaming like the sun. He looked a bit like he was considering bouncing off from the wheelchair doing a back flip himself, just like Charlie. "Charlie is picking me up tomorrow after work. He's signing off early."

"I heard," I rolled my eyes. "He hasn't stopped talking about it since I met him. Here," I handed dad the box with the leftover dinner. They were still warm. "Bella says hi."

"Ah, thanks. Spares me a trip to the freezer," dad grinned, weighting the box in his hands. "No fish fingers today." He easily balanced the box on his knees before he turned around and wheeled his way towards the kitchen. "So, you'll manage to rule this household alone for a few days? No drunken teens, thank you."

"No drunk teens," I promised.

"No home alone party. And don't burn down the house, it's all we have."

"Really. No worries there."

Dad laughed. "I believe you."

I wondered if he would ask me about Bella.

"I wont ask you about Bella," he said, as he disappeared around the kitchen door. "But you can bet your right leg Charlie will talk to her about it."

He would? I wouldn't bet any of my legs on that. Even if I still would have three legs to go. Charlie was off floating on baseball clouds.

"How did you know I was just wondering if you would ask that?" I followed dad out into the kitchen. Maybe I should have just dropped it, but I was curious. There was no point pretending, since my dad seemed to know pretty much everything. Maybe he was psychic.

"It's not rocket science, son," dad chuckled, his back still too me. He reached the counter and put the food on a plate. "Is she going to stay here?" he asked, peering at me as if he already knew the answer. Hey, maybe he did.

"I thought you said you wouldn't ask questions."

"You don't have to answer. I'm just curious."

"I dunno," I admitted. "We haven't exactly talked about it."

"But you think she will." He put his dinner into the microwave.

"Dunno."

"Hope then."

"Gee, dad," I surrendered. "Sure, yeah I do. But you don't have to put so much into it. It doesn't mean anything. She stayed with us two weeks ago too, remember."

Dad just nodded thoughtfully. "I see. Just don't do anything stupid, son."

_Gah._

"Really. No drunken teens, don't burn down house, no pregnant women. I think I've got it."

Dad nodded contently, and beeped in the numbers on the microwave. "Good. That's all I need to know."

I smiled and shook my head as I returned to the living room. I had a happy feeling this weekend would work out just perfect. As it turned out, I couldn't have been more wrong.

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_Bam bam bam..._

_I know this story might have seemed a little slow paced so far, but it needed to be to make what will happen realistic. It takes some time to build up a believable relationship, I think. I never believed those stories I've read when Bella just jumps straight into Jacobs arms the moment Edward is out of the way. But maybe I've kept you waiting long enough?;) Anyhows, don't worry. I know where I'm headed with this, and it all happens for a reason. So hang in there! I DO have a point with all this, lol. _

_Thanks to kallmecrazy for taking the time to clean up my sloppy errors, a round of applause for you;) And thank you all so much for reading and being patient with this story, and thanks to those of you who reviewed who I can't reply to in person. And while we're talking about reviews...Aww, look at the pretty button. Pretty pretty review button. Push? You'll get a nice spoiler thingie if you do :)_


	13. Rudeness

_A.N: Major thanks to kallmecrazy for betaing this story! Also major thanks to JJ Twi1ight for pre-reading!_

_I am one lucky sloppy hobby writer, you see;)_

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******Rudeness**

* * *

Charlie came over somewhere around four the next day to pick up dad. They were both buzzing around with their faces so high up in heaven they barely noticed me. I'd gotten off from school early and watched Charlie help dad into the car.

"You sure you're not jealous, Jacob?" Charlie asked me knowingly when he turned around. "If you'd told me earlier that you'd like to go, I would've bought you a ticket too."

"Nah, I'm okay," I told him, and meant it. Charlie didn't look convinced. He seemed to be confident that I was devastated for not joining them.

"You'll come along next time," he gave me a comforting pat on the back. "Keep an eye on my daughter while we're gone, alright?" Charlie walked past me to put the wheelchair in the back of the car.

"Sure, sure." My pleasure.

I noticed dad was eyeing me from the front seat.

"And remember what we talked about yesterday," he said. He was serious, but he was smiling slightly.

"Between the two of us, you're supposed to be the one with short term memory," I reminded him.

"I'm not always so sure of that," I heard him chuckle while he got in front of the wheel.

After many Goodbyes, and Take cares, and Don't forgets, and Have funs, both the doors slammed shut and Charlie got the rusty engine barfing. I watched and waved as the car got into action, and rolled out of the driveway and onto the road outside.

It was still early so my guesses was it would still be a few hours or so until Bella came over. I went into the house, feeling overly happy and for some reason a bit nervous. Well, not nervous exactly, more excited.

I did the dishes first and then my duties with the laundry. After that I sat down on the couch in the living room, but not for long. It was absolutely completely impossible to sit still. Whenever I sat down my knees would always start bouncing and it was impossible to stop. I tried, but it never lasted for more than a few minutes. I just couldn't. So I ended up pacing aimlessly around the house, driving myself crazy.

I'd been roaming the fridge for some grub when I heard a familiar roar approaching from the main road. I walked outside, only to see a frowning Bella appear behind the wheel of her truck, right where I knew she would. When she noticed me, her frown was replaced by a smile stretching from ear to ear. I grinned back and walked over to meet her.

"Hey Bells!"

"Hi."

As I approached her, she got out and went over to the bed of her truck. After dragging a bit she reappeared with a small bag. She had a bag. A bag. Spending-the-weekend bag? Who knows. Maybe Charlie never got around to talk to her after all. She was just straining to heave it up on her shoulder when I reached her.

"Move it, woman. I've got this covered." I slid my arm under the strap and lifted it up on my own shoulder. She had problems carrying this? It was seriously as light as a feather. I wasn't even exaggerating. But okay, maybe I wasn't being fair. And maybe I was showing off just a little bit.

"Hey, I'm not that weak." Bella insisted, still clutching the strap persistently.

"Yeah, you are," I laughed. It wouldn't hurt to tease her a bit. I turned to walk back in the direction of the house, and she followed.

"No, I'm ___normal__._"

The way she underlined the last word made her sentence fill with indications.

"Are you implying that I'm not normal?"

"Yes."

Fair enough."You sure know how to be subtle about it," I grinned. Bella rolled her eyes. She finally gave up on the bag and let her hand drop from the strap. I caught her hand in mine before it could fall down by her side. She looked up at me and smiled, and my heart missed a beat or two.

We walked inside and I dropped her bag on the floor in the middle of the living room, not sure where to put it. My room? Rachel's room? Hey maybe she'd just brought food or something. I had no idea.

"What's up with the bag anyway?" I asked her. "Are you moving in for the weekend?" I said it as a joke, but deep down I was dead serious. Please move in for the weekend, please move in for the weekend.

Bella bit her lower lip. "No, not really."

My heart sank a little.

She continued. "I mean, only if it's okay with you."

My heart inched back up. What was that?

Bella continued. "It's just, I really don't feel like being alone. And I thought, since Rachel isn't here, if it would be okay for me to sleep in her ro..." Her words were cut short when I grabbed hold of her waist and pulled her to me. My lips crashed down on hers and I kissed her happily. She could stay here forever, fine by me. She seemed surprised at first, and I could feel the heat radiating from her cheeks when she blushed.

"Yes, please," I said, when our lips disconnected and I finally let her breathe. I opened my eyes, confirming the blush I already knew was there. "Stay."

A genuine smile spread on her lips. "I though it would be okay, you know, since I've already stayed here once." Her eyes searched mine for a second, and she looked like she was worried she was being too bold or rude.

I only grinned down at her, and her smile turned more secure. Then she confidently stretched up in my arms and kissed me, her lips light against mine. I'd gotten more used to this now, but it still turned my heart to mush every time. When she pulled back, she looked at me with thoughtful eyes. I folded my hands around her waist, just as she had folded her hands around my neck. She was chewing on her lower lip, making it hard to consecrate on much else. Anything else, really.

"Hey," she whispered, her voice turning eager. I tore my eyes away from her lips to meet her eyes. "Do you want to go for a walk? It's been ages since I've been down at First beach."

A walk? "Sure. But it's going to rain soon," I warned her.

"So? You're not allergic to water, are you?"

She grinned up at me, her eyes wicked.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Come on Bells."

As we got outside into the chilly afternoon, Bella immediately sneaked her hand into mine. Probably to keep warm. We didn't talk much as we walked down to the water, but it was a comfortable silence. How many times had we walked here, holding hands. How many times had I wished she could be my girl. I guess she was now, in a way. She was in everything but the word. Sort of. Fair enough.

We reached the water, and walked along the water edge a good few meters away from the crashing waves. Bella trotted along my side, taking three steps for each of mine. Now and then, the wind would whip her hair over my face, making us both laugh. It was nice to walk here with her. It had been a long time since last time we did this just for fun.

When we reached the familiar white driftwood where we used to sit, _our _driftwood, Bella stopped. She was staring out ahead of the ocean, her eyes squinting against the sunset. A shiver ran down her body from the chilly wind, and I put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to my side. She turned to look at me the exact time I turned to look down at her. Her eyes moved to my lips and I leaned down toward her. She turned back to stare out over the horizon just then, and I settled on kissing her temple. She rested her head on my shoulder. It was a good moment.

After a while I felt her move beside me. When I looked down, she was yawning hugely, unsuccessfully trying to hide it. She was tired.

"Get up," I said, and turned so that I was standing in front of her.

"What?" She squinted up at me, confused. "No, I can walk."

"Don't be such a baby." I turned back around and scooped her up feet first before I easily hoisted her up on my back. A gushing noise escaped her lips, along with a slightly hysterical laughter. "Jake!" she insisted, wiggling her feet. They were dangling wildly in front of me. I still held her up effortlessly, supporting her with my hands under her thighs.

"Now at least there's a chance we'll be home before tomorrow," I mumbled, knowing she would hear. I knew what was coming, and I couldn't keep the grin off my face when I felt her smack the top of my head in protest.

I turned to walk back home, just as the wind became more agitated and the first few drops of rain hit my cheek. If this continued, we would both be soaked only on our left sides by the time we reached home.

"Great! Bella Umbrella," I said, content, and pretended to use her as shelter from the rain. I turned my head to the side to grin at her, and Bella laughed over me. Her grip around my shoulders tightened.

"I can walk, Jacob," she said into my ear, in contrast to her tight grip. I felt her breath blow over my neck as she spoke.

"Hell no," I protested. "It's raining. If I let you down now I'll get wet."

"I thought you wasn't allergic to water."

"What if I am?"

"You know, right now you remind me more of a cat than a werewolf."

_Ouch_.

"Hey! That was below the belt. You can just forget trying to get down now. I'll never let you down. You'll be my umbrella forever." I tightened my arms around her legs just to prove my point. Bella laughed again, and wiggled her legs trying to get down anyway. In the process she was sort of grinding herself against me. Oh crud.

It turned out I was right. By the time we reached the edge of the backyard, we were both pretty soaked. She more than me, obviously. Bella Umbrella was quite handy when it was raining. But, that sad, her body was still tinier than mine, so it wasn't much of a big difference. Bella kept protesting. "Come on, let me down! We're home now!"

"Nope," I smirked, unconvinced as I climbed the front porch, holding her even tighter. I ignored all of her protests and carried her all the way inside.

"My shoes!" she insisted, when I wouldn't let her down. She wiggled her legs again. Double crud. "My shoes are wet. You have to let me down!" I could hear she meant it, and at the same time she didn't. I wouldn't make it that easy for her, and she knew it.

I didn't let her down of course, but instead moved one of my hands away from her thigh to flip off her shoes.

"That's not what I meant," she muttered, making my grin widen.

"I know."

I flipped off my own shoes and walked into the living room before I finally dropped her down on the couch. It whined a little, ancient as it was. She lay there, stifling her laughter as she peered up at me.

"You can be a bit annoying sometimes, Jacob." She sat up, making room for me to sit down beside her.

"I don't think you really mean that," I said, and reached forward to kiss her.

She kissed me back lightly at first, but it didn't last long before it quickly became more heated. She wrapped both her tiny hands around to frame my face, bringing me closer to her. The couch was already getting damp from our wet clothes, and her hair was still moist as it fell in lumps down her shoulders. Her lips were cold and soft at first, but they heated up quickly against mine.

I wrapped my hands around her waist, and she moved closer to me. She kissed me hungrily, her teeth grazing my lip making me shiver. As the kiss grew warmer, and the air around us started to fill with promises. Our breaths were coming out ragged, her exhales tickling my cheek. Our surroundings disappeared completely, leaving only a buzz with questions of what could be.

It turned insane. My thoughts stopped. Everything stopped but her. She didn't stop, in fact quite the opposite. Her movements became more urgent. I pulled her even closer, and she moved over to sit with one leg on each side of me while the old couch protested loudly in my ears. I pressed my fingers into her back as she framed my face with her palms. Nothing mattered to me anymore. As long as she kept doing this, nothing mattered.

My hands started moving around on their own, rubbing against the small of her back. They traced their own way around her waist and down her hips, and rested there over her thighs, supporting her as she stood on her knees. Maybe I should have thought about where this was headed. Maybe I should have thought about what we were doing. But I didn't. I couldn't. My mind was just as functioning as a mushroom.

I could hear her heartbeat hammering down the highway, and she deepened her kisses even more. She dragged her hands through my hair and then she gripped the back of my neck tightly. She was wild, driving me crazy. I started rubbing her thighs with my palms, simply because I couldn't help it. I stroked my hands up and down, needing to feel her close to me. A shiver ran down her body, and she encircled her arms around my neck. Her damp shirt was warm now. Her hair blew over my face, numbing all of my senses further. I moved my hands upwards, intending to pull her down to sit over me. In the movement, my thumb accidentally stroke up between her legs.

Her reaction was immediate. Her heartbeat turned frantic, hammering so hard I almost confused it with my own. I couldn't even remember that I ever moved my hand in that direction at all, but here I was. I luckily had enough sense left to quickly inch my hand back down. Bella continued kissing me, now even more aggressive than before. It took me about three times longer than normal before I took in the situation. She wasn't mad. I wasn't apologizing. She was still kissing me. Her tongue still against mine. Her heart hammering. She didn't mind?

Already drugged by her and not really in my best judgmental state, I succumbed. I moved my hand back up, and then let my thumb graze between her legs once again. My heart was drumming wildly against my rib cage, trying to get out it seemed. Bella gushed out another deep exhale and her kisses became insane. I grazed her again. She bit my lip. I did it again. She yelped like a puppy and then slid her knees further in on the couch so that she was almost sitting down. Her body was even closer to mine. In blurry boldness I let every barrier and all precautions drop and gripped her thigh firmly with one hand, my thumb rubbing more confidently against the place between her legs. She hummed quietly into my mouth, making my insides vibrate. In a whiff of air, I realized I could smell her arousal. Oh. Sweet sweet mother.

I felt her fingers clawing against my t shirt as she started to drag my t- shirt up away from my stomach. She. Was. Undressing. Me.

I don't really know what happened next. It was one of those moments everything just turns to haze. I tightened my grip around her and she hummed again making my insides tremble. I continued to rub against her, growing more confident by the minute. Bella exhaled heavily, and it sounded exactly like a moan. Oh, she was definitely enjoying this. My brain had never been this crippled in all my life, and I couldn't complain, couldn't care. I was not functioning enough to care.

It is times like these you don't ever want to end. When you are so thrilled and excited you didn't ever realize how thrilled and excited you actually were before after the moment is gone. It is times like these, that when you think back are so blurry you can't even recall them properly. Almost like being drunk, your memory just isn't razor sharp. You're just floating off on a pink cloud, never coming down. _Let me move in here. Let me stay here forever. _When you're feeling like this, inside this bright shining bubble, there is only one thing that can ruin it all. Only one thing that can make you drop, fall, and land hard on the cold ground. The sound of company.

I heard it long before she did. The loud chattering and laughing as several footsteps approached along the road outside. At the sound, the bliss faded and our surroundings came back into view.

Bella was still ravaging down my neck with kisses, completely unaware. No matter how deeply, utterly and desperately I never wanted this to end, I knew she would be immensely embarrassed if someone walked in on us like this. I reluctantly moved both my hands up to her waist, and she sighed frustrated by the lack of contact. Man, this was killing me. Defeated, I watched from the cold ground as the pink cloud floated away.

I pulled back slightly, and our lips disconnected. "Bells." My voice sounded funny.

She opened her eyes to look at me, her face both confused and hungry. _Man, _this was killing me. What if I died right here, right now? I would die happy but deprived. She searched my eyes, and her face filled with more confusion.

I nodded my head back toward the sound. She frowned at first, but then she heard the approaching people and realized what I meant.

"Oh," she said, her lips forming a perfect circle. A blush so deep you couldn't believe started to spread throughout her cheeks, and she scrambled off me and on to the far side of the couch. Halfway, she tripped and almost slid off the couch completely. I got hold of her arm before she managed to slam her head in the table, and our eyes locked for a few seconds. The blush was still evident in her face, reminding me of that pink cloud... I reached forward to kiss her again. Just couldn't help it.

"Hey! Jacob!" The door slammed open just then, making both our heads snap up. Quil strode into the room grinning from ear to ear. He was closely followed by Embry, Seth, and to my great surprise, Leah. Quil's eyes flew from me and landed on Bella."Oh, you've got company! Hi Bella!" Quil fuzzed, grinning at her. As if he didn't already know she was here. I could honestly say that never in my life had I been less happy to see him.

"Hi," Bella said, smiling to all of them, her eyes lingering a bit on Leah. Oh crap. She still didn't know about Seth and Leah. Too late to think about that now. All of them stumbled inside, except Leah who lingered by the door.

Quil walked over to the couch and them slammed his interfering ass down on the couch between me and Bella. Great. "Heard you've been left here all by yourself this weekend. We're not interrupting something, are we?" He looked at me, wiggling his eyebrows only for me to see. Dumb ass. "Just thought we'd drop by and say hello."

Oh joy. I looked over at Bella. Her cheeks were still a little red from her blush.

"Nice," I said. Sarcasm much? Noooo.

Quil continued to babble along while Seth slung down in the chair opposite us. Leah stood still, her arms crossed in front of her chest. It was obvious she was only here because of her baby brother, and would not stay long. I noticed she was eyeing Bella, measuring her up and down as if she still had to make up an opinion about her. It was the first time they met since after Leah phased.

Beside me on the couch, Quil leaned down towards Bella to ask her something stupid about senior girls. Then, as if he'd just realized something, he sniffed the air around her slightly. Just a little bit, not overly so. As if he was smelling her in. Too late, I realized that was exactly what he was doing. She must still be...there must still...from before... Oh.

Slowly, Quil turned around to send me a wicked grin. Crap. I knew that look. I knew excactly what was going on inside his head right now. He opened his mouth to speak, but was thankfully interrupted by Embry.

"Gah," we heard him say, and i realized he'd strolled off into the house and disappeared into my room. He reappeared in the hallway and entered the living room again. His whole face was drawn in disgust. "Dude, your room reeks. I don't get how you can sleep in that."

Quil's eyes widened with disbelief. I hoped desperately no one would notice him, least of all Bella, and frowned up at Embry instead. "What are you talking about?" My room smelled fine to me. And there was no way he meant...Jeez, we hadn't even been there!

Embry slumped down in the chair opposite us. "You know something stinks in your room, right?" he said, looking at me pointedly, and then I got it. He was referring to the leech treasures up in my closet. The memories from Bella's floorboard. Quil looked confused.

"Oh. Right." The photo and the CD. I had completely forgotten about those. I must have gotten so used to it it didn't affect me any more. Maybe my nose was adapted to leech-stench. Wonderful.

I looked over at Bella, who looked puzzled. A little frown had appeared on her forehead and she somehow managed to look thoughtful and dubious at the same time. Oh great. She didn't know what the hell we were talking about. Now she would probably insist on cleaning my room or something. She must fear I had allowed things to rote under my bed, or smelly old underwear or something else nasty. She seemed to have completely forgotten about the stinking reminders she found in her room. That was probably for the best.

Quil of course, couldn't shut up more than five seconds at the time. For once I was thankful, because this meant change of subject. He wrapped his gorilla arm around around Bella's tiny shoulders. "So Bella, how's it going?"

"Uhm. Fine."

"You're staying here for the weekend, huh?"

"Mhm."

Quil turned to wiggle his eyebrows at me, and I realized I wouldn't be thankful for long. I knew what he was about to say before he said it. "So you and Jacob..."

I pushed him out of the couch before he managed to fulfill his sentence. "Time to go home, don't you think?"

He straightened up and grinned at me. "Chill. I'm just making conversation. But hey, I've got things to do. You two enjoy yourselves. I was just dropping by to say hello anyway."

He wiggled his eyebrows again. Dropping by to interfere, more likely. I threw the remote control at him, but of course he had no troubles catching it before it hit him in the forehead.

"See you around, Jacob," he grinned, flipping the remote control back at me before turning to slip out the door. Seth and Embry followed, both grinning a little too wide. Before anyone reached the door though, Leah spoke up.

"Maybe I should head out to run some more patrols," she said, surprisingly loud and clear. She was still standing with her arms crossed, leaning against the door frame. She eyed Bella while she spoke, her voice stern. "There's still a chance the Cullens are coming back."

The room froze for a few seconds. For a moment, I was too angry to speak. I glared at Leah. What was she playing at? Not only had Leah just shoved Cullen down Bella's throat, she'd also revealed that she knew it all. That she was a werewolf too. Leah kept her tight stance, her eyes fixated on Bells. When I turned to look at the girl next to me, she was staring right back at Leah, her eyes wide with surprise and uncertainty and something else I couldn't quite define.

"Erm," Seth cleared his throat. "No one really thinks that's likely anymore, there's been weeks since..."

Leah cut him off, still keeping her eyes intent on Bella. "You're going to crawl back to Cullen and leave Jacob, aren't you?" she spat.

The room turned turned from tense to dead silent. It was as if the air had turned thick as it weighted down the room, freezing everything in place. I had frozen too, struggling to wrap my head around what Leah just said. She couldn't have said that, I must just have imagined it. The silence broke when Bella got up from the couch in an abrupt movement. She had been sitting beside me so quietly for so long, but now something new shot across her face. An emotion I had only rarely seen on her face. Anger.

"Shut up, Leah." she snapped, her voice surprisingly steady.

"After the redhead almost bit him?" Leah pressed. "Nice. He could have died for your sake."

Bella drew in a sharp breath of air. Right. She didn't know about that. She briefly turned her eyes to me before she turned back to Leah. She started to walk away from the couch then, over to Leah. For a wild second I thought Bella was going to do something immensely stupid, like hit her or something. I felt my muscles tense. Bella didn't know better, but Leah wasn't stable yet. She'd only been a wolf for a couple of weeks. If Bella did something to piss her off, she would phase and things would get out of hand very easily. But Bella didn't approach Leah at all. She just walked past her and slipped outside. The door slammed shut with a loud bang behind her, leaving us alone in the ringing echo that was left.


	14. Surprises

_A.N: Thank you all for all the sweet reviews:) And major thanks to JJ Twi1ight and kallmecrazy for helping me out with this story. Round of applause for them!_

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**Surprises**

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The silence inside was defeating. Some turn in events, huh. Leah was looking both surprised and pleased with herself, and it pissed me off. I stood up from the couch, to follow Bella outside. As I passed Leah in the doorway, I was tempted to threaten her with both life and limbs.

"What's wrong with you?" I leaned down to get in her face, intruding her much valued private space. "This is none of your business, you wont talk to her like that. Keep your mouth to yourself!" I glared at her, and she met my gaze for a brief second before she looked away to study the wall. I was fuming, but Bella was more important. I'd rather go after her than stay here.

"If you needed to mark her as yours, you should just have peed on her," Leah muttered to me as I walked past her and pressed down the handle of the front door. I considered turning back to yell at her, but managed to ignore her and step outside. While I closed the door behind me, I heard the guys attack Leah with muted voices.

"What the hell, Leah?"

"Sam didn't want others to kn..."

"Sam?" Leah replied, angry now. "Don't even tell me what he..."

I shut the door. The air around me turned quiet as their whispers became mute. Bella was standing with her back to me, leaning against the banister. Hesitantly, I walked over to where she was standing and leaned beside her. She didn't look up, but stared thoughtfully out on the forest in front of us.

"I'm sorry about that," I said quietly.

"No, I get why she asked."

That wasn't the answer I was expecting. What did she mean by that? I had been wondering what Bella would do if Cullen came back. If she would go back to him like before. I didn't think she would, but I couldn't be sure. I'd sometimes wanted to ask Bella that myself. Still, I couldn't help, but be mad at Leah for talking to her like that. That was none of her business. I looked over at Bella and she was frowning, the v on her forehead more pronounced than ever.

"You didn't say she almost bit you." Bella stated, and turned her head to look at me. "Victoria. You didn't say she almost bit you. You said it was nothing." She was frowning, her eyes slightly accusing. _Thank you, Leah._

"It _was _nothing," I insisted with a slight sigh and looked down. "And it turned out okay, right?"

I remembered how fretted Bella had been when I came home from that hunt. With blood on my shoulder, Bella had freaked out completely. I hadn't meant to hide anything from her, not at all, I had just forgotten to mention it I guess. That I'd almost gotten bitten seemed insignificant at that moment. I'd felt fine, fit as a fiddle, and Bella had attacked me with kisses and then threatened to take me to the vet. I'd simply hadn't thought of mentioning it. And besides, it did turn out all right. I looked back up at her, and she was still studying me with accusing eyes. The v was still on.

"You should have told me," she said. "You could have been killed."

Her voice broke at the last word, and she looked down. I moved two fingers up to her chin and tilted her head back up. I smiled, trying to reassure. "Hey. I'm fine, remember? I didn't mean to keep it from you. Besides, Leah is exaggerating. I'm sure I would have had her. But I'll tell you if something like this happens again. I promise. Okay?"

Bella smiled half a smile, and her frown relaxed a little. "Okay," she agreed, her voice weak.

The door opened behind us, and I let go of Bella's chin. We both turned to see Leah standing in the doorway. She walked past us, casting her eyes at Bella in the process. I growled at her.

"No," Bella told me, and I felt her hand against my arm as if she wanted to hold me back. Leah stopped in her tracks, surprised, and so did I. Bella turned to Leah, looking her square in the eyes.

"I get why you asked. You have every reason to do that. But you don't have to worry. I wont."

_I wont. _How beautiful those words sounded in my ears. She'd just made it clear she wouldn't leave, even if Cullen returned. I felt my lips lift into a smile on their own, despite the tensed situation.

Leah stared back at Bella. Their eyes locked and the seconds ticked past. I noticed Embry and Seth sending each other a confused look in the doorway behind Leah. Somehow the situation reminded me of animals, lions measuring each other out. Probably something female. I didn't get it. Finally, Leah nodded slightly, never taking her eyes from Bella. As if she accepted whatever just passed between them. Then she walked past us and disappeared into the night without another look at me.

After a brief second, Embry, Seth and Quil joined us on the front porch.

"Hey, I'm sorry about that," Seth told Bella, staring after his sister. "She's not been herself lately."

To my surprise, Bella started laughing. "No, Seth. I can see that." She was eyeing him up and down, and I realized what she must be seeing. I guessed he'd buffed up a bit since the last time she saw him. She knew Seth was a new member of the pack now. Quil joined in her laughter, and Embry chuckled a bit. The mood lightened considerably.

"Well, I'm headed out," Quil said. "I'll see you guys later. Bye, Bella!" he winkled at her before he turned to walk out into the night. Behind her back, still walking, he made some pointing gestures between her and me before he gave me thumbs up, accompanied by that wicked grin and a wink. I tried to ignore him, but couldn't help grinning as I turned back to the others. Quil was shortly joined by Embry and Seth, who also offered a quick "Bye" and "See ya".

Bella yawned beside me on the porch.

"Tired?" I humored her.

She nodded. "Yeah." She yawned again. "I think I should go to bed." She turned to walk back into the house, and I followed. Before I could reach the hallway though, I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around and saw Seth walking back towards us. He looked a little hesitant.

"Hey Jake, can I talk to you for a second?" he asked, leaning against the front steps of the porch

"Sure, wait a sec..." I turned back to Bella who was standing inside the hallway. If she was going to bed I wanted to say goodnight to her first at least.

"Erm...I'll see you later, then." I had hoped to be with her some more tonight, but if she was tired I guessed this was goodnight. I wanted to apologize again for how it all turned out, and at the same time let her know how much she meant to me. I grabbed her hand in mine, and struggled to find the words that wouldn't come.

Bella just laughed. "Relax, I'll see you in like two minutes." Then she turned around and walked into my bedroom. _My _bedroom.

Oh. Hell.

"Jacob?" I heard Seth's voice from outside. Probably wondering what the hell I was doing alone in the hallway. Okay. Focus, focus.

"Yeah. You wanted to talk." I reminded myself and turned to walk back out on the porch. "What's up?"

Seth stepped up the stairs until he was standing level with me. He was still a bit shorter.

"Leah was really trying to be helpful back there, you know." he said. "She likes you and Bella. She wants you to be together."

"Helpful? Me and Bella?" I clarified, stunned. Leah had been snarling and mocking. And rude. Not helpful.

"Yes."

"That's just bull."

"No, I mean it."

"Then why is she talking to Bella like that?" I raised my eyebrows in confusion. This was way over my head.

"She's protective of you."

Huh? "_What?_"

"She is."

"That doesn't make sense." There was a little silence as I mulled over this. "No. That's just...That can't be. Why would she care anyway?" Leah didn't care about much other than herself these days, or so it seemed.

"She wants you and Bella to be together because it's... natural."

"Natural?" I felt my eyebrows lift again. Again, this was beyond me.

"She thinks it's real. The way it's supposed to be," Seth tried to explain. I stared at him blankly, and he sighed before he continued. "No imprinting."

"Oh."

That's right, Leah had a little aversion to the whole imprinting concept. No surprise there. But then who didn't, really. This didn't make much sense to me.

"But I have to warn you" Seth said with a slight grin as he turned to walk after the others. "If you ever do imprint on someone else other than Bella, you're out in the cold. Leah would never forgive you for that."  
"I wont," I said after him as he walked away from me to catch up with the others.

I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Not ever.

I got myself back into the house, thinking that if this was Leah being nice I didn't want to find out how she would be when she was deliberately mean.

With thoughts still on Leah and all the recent shrewdness, I absentmindedly walked into my room. The light was off, the room only bathing in the glow from the moon outside. Bella had laid down in my bed, her eyes closed and apparently sleeping. I guess she hadn't been kidding, she _was _tired.

As my eyes swept over the quiet room, my eyes landed on the chair in front of my desk. There was a shirt and a pair of sweats neatly folded over it. That was not my clothes. I didn't have a shirt like that, and the sweats were way too tiny. And I rarely folded anything. That was Bella clothes. Was she sleeping in her undies and a t-shirt? Oh holy mother. Maybe she'd put on pajamas. I looked around expecting to see her bag in a corner, but didn't find it.

While I kept scanning my room for the bag and a confirmation to my reasoning, Bella slowly opened her eyes to look at me. Maybe she hadn't been sleeping, or maybe I'd woken her when I entered. I glanced back at her, standing in the middle of the room like any other dork.

"You okay?" I asked her. Suddenly I wasn't sure what to do with my hands, so I let them just hang down limply by my sides. It felt stupid.  
"I'm fine," she mumbled, her voice muffled. She squinted at me in the darkness.

"I can...er...go and sleep on the couch." I pressed out. I didn't want to, but I felt like I should offer it.

Bella turned her head to the side and smiled sleepily.

"You can just sleep here."

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable, it's okay..." I stumbled, hesitant. _Way to go, doucheface. Why didn't you just say yes? You've slept in bed with her before._

_Not while you're all alone in the house, _I argued with myself. _This is different. _

_No. Doucheface. _

Bella sighed, still a smile playing on her lips. Maybe she had sensed my internal conversation.

"Get over here, Jake."

Well, when she ordered me like that I wasn't one to hesitate, no. Without another word I stripped out of my t-shirt and went over to crawl in with her. She moved to the other side of the bed to make room, and I laid down close beside her. She rested in by my side, tucking her blanket around me too.

Jep, she was sleeping in her undies and a t-shirt. How I would survive this night I had no idea.

Bella rested her head on my arm, and closed her eyes. Within only a few minutes she seemed to have drifted off to sleep completely. It took a bit longer for me to do the same, but in the end I did too.

When I woke, I could feel Bella resting next to me. I opened my eyes, preparing my eyes for the bright morning light coming through the window. But there was none. It was still dark outside, the only light coming from the moon on the dark sky. It was quiet. So quiet, in fact, I was wondering a bit what it was that had awoken me in the first place.

Then I noticed the incredible feeling of something stroking my arm. Up, down. I reeled in the feeling of it. Something cold pressed against my neck. Light breeze blew across my shoulder. It tickled, in a good way. I lay there, enjoying the feeling of it, before my mind cleared some more and I started to wonder what it was. Something cold pressed against my neck again, a hand stroking up to my shoulder and up to my neck. Not before her hand had framed my cheek and tilted my head to the side in a kiss, did I realize it was Bella.

Her lips were eager and soft against mine. It was the most confusing and wonderful way to wake up. My mind moved from one kind of haze and into another, and I didn't think. Thinking wasn't necessary. I decided thinking was overrated.

One kiss turned to two. Three, four. It didn't end. She didn't stop. Her hands sneaked up to frame my face, pulling me towards her. I turned to her, more than willing. My hands moved to her waist, to the small of her back. I flattened my palms against the soft skin there as I pulled her body flush against mine. Her kisses turned more eager. Hungry. Aggressive almost. Her hands started roaming. Through my hair, over my shoulders, down my back. Our noses bumped. I tasted her lips. Felt her teeth against mine. Heard her heartbeat hammering. Her breaths turning heavy.

Her hands became more rough. Firm against my skin. Down my chest, down my abs. Her lips were determined now. She kissed me deeply, and I kissed her back the same way. I never wanted this to end. Her fingers tugged a bit at the hem of my sweats. If I hadn't already been too busy kissing her, my heart would probably have started reeling.

I let my palms move up and down her back, enjoying the feeling of her skin against my palms. Her skin was smooth as silk under my fingers, and as I traced my way up her spine I couldn't help noticing there was no interruptions in the way of a bra. A tingling feeling spread in my fingertips by the thought, and I had to fight the urge to pull back and stare. Bella tugged my hair and trapped my lip between hers then, and I pressed her closer to me. She ran her fingers freely through my hair one last time before she removed her hands from me completely. I missed her touch immediately and opened my eyes to see what she was doing. And then her lips disconnected from mine too as she reached down and pulled the t shirt over her head.

This couldn't be real. I must still be sleeping. I must just be dreaming.

Her pale, now fully exposed skin was gleaming in the moonlight, but this barely registered in my mind. My mind slipped into boob-mood and I had to close my mouth to keep from drooling. She was beyond perfect, and I couldn't tear my eyes away from her now exposed skin. If my eyes popped out of my head it would all be worth it. She was... I had no words.

She didn't give me a break, no. Her lips were back on mine the next second, kissing me like never before. My exhales had turned shaky, and if I couldn't think before my brain was now completely numb. I tried not to focus too much about what she'd just done. But when the girl wasn't even wearing a bra, it was difficult to think of other things. When I was looking forward to spend the weekend alone with her, believe it or not this wasn't what I had been expecting. Deeply hoping, perhaps. Longing quite a bit. Maybe praying a little, too.

She was absolutely mind blowing. I think I might have told her this too, because I remember very clearly the way she laughed in my ear. It tickled all the way to my spine. She pressed herself to me, her skin electrifying against mine. If I could no longer _see _her, now I could _feel _her instead. Her breasts were pressed against my chest, making my mind explode. Her lips were tracing fireworks against mine, hungry like never before, and my hands became suddenly very preoccupied. I felt her fingers flutter down to the hem of my sweats and I helped until there were no more sweats left in the bed. And soon after, there were no underwear left either. Just me, a blanket and one piece of naked hot girl. Just that sentence there was a proof to me this must still be just a dream.

It turned insane again. She was everywhere, her hands everywhere. I was everywhere too, exploring places I thought were impossible. I ran my lips down her chest, and she arched her back. It was a dream. She felt so right in my arms. Her body against mine, her skin under my hands, against my mouth.

The times I'd imagined this, I'd expected it to be more awkward. That she would be more embarrassed than I would. It was the first time we were both naked, together. But again, she surprised me. There wasn't even a hint of embarrassment or uncomfortableness between us. She never hid herself away, or shun away from me. She didn't even blush. I shouldn't be surprised, really. She was perhaps the person who knew me best in the whole wide world, and vice versa. It seemed only natural.

She moved on top of me, and I could feel all of her press against me, and I mean _all_ of her. Hell, of course I felt it; she pressed against _me_. Her scent swirled up to meet my nose, numbing my brain. She kept this up for a while, and her kisses turned more and more frantic. My hands were roaming – rubbing and caressing her skin wherever I could reach. I wanted to touch all of her at once, and if I couldn't, I wanted to die trying. Then, as if she reached an inner decision, she moved back a little, placing herself just right and then pressed down. If my mind wasn't still dysfunctional – I don't know what I would have done if my mind wasn't still dysfunctional.

She stopped almost immediately, and my hips were about to buck up automatically. Only one sound stopped me. A tiny, almost inaudible whimper, escaping her lips. If my hearing wasn't better than the norm, I doubt I would have heard at all.

She had pressed her eyes shut, and wasn't moving. Very carefully, I rolled us both over so that I was laying on top of her. We were still connected in more ways than one, and I didn't pull away. I waited until her eyes relaxed, and she reached up to kiss me. I waited until her breaths turned frantic again, and her fingers were clutching my back. I waited until her hips bucked up to meet mine before I pressed into her completely.

I immediately knew I wouldn't be able to keep this up for long. This was like nothing else I'd ever imagined, and then there was _heat. _That was unexpected. With great strain I waited, so that she could adjust. When she started ravaging me with kisses I started moving against her again. Kissing became more difficult because of our height difference, so I moved to press my lips against the side of her head instead. I felt her exhales against my neck, and now and then she moved to press her lips to the hollow of my collarbone or top of my chest. I supported my weight on my arm, the other clutching her waist as we moved together in heavenly unison. She held her arms on my back in a tight grip, pressing herself to me, meeting me halfway.

I was in trouble. I was already on the breaking point, straining to hold back. I knew it would help if I tried to think of other things. Burning ice. Burning ice. Melting fire. Not working. I tried counting the wooden marks in the bed frame, tried to memorize the pattern on the pillow. Grandma panties. Camel toes. Male toenails. Paul. Almost working.

It didn't help all too much. She was too soft, too naked, too close, holding me too tight. And then there was the heat_. _Her lips found mine again and I couldn't concentrate, couldn't think. I was doomed. We kept it up for a while, but not by far as long as I wanted to. When sweet release appeared, I clutched her to me as tight as possible, burying my face in her hair. I felt spasms I couldn't control run through my body, and a feeling so good it was almost violent overpowered me completely.

For a moment, I couldn't move. When I finally could, I pulled back to look at her. Her eyes were hazy, halfway closed. I let my hand stroke over her face, wiping the beads of sweat from her forehead and tucking a stray of hair behind her ear. She was beautiful. She gazed up at me and smiled slightly before she closed her eyes. I pulled out of her, and moved to lay beside her. She moved closer to me and I tucked us both in under the blanket. She fell asleep in my arms not long after.

Maybe I should have asked her about it. Before. Asked her if she was sure. If she was ready for this. Made sure she really wanted this, that she had thought this through. That she wouldn't regret it in the morning. We had never talked about this. It was an important decision to make. I still wasn't sure if this had actually happened.

It had all happened so fast (well hey, not _that _fast. Give me some credit), and I felt like my mind had been in constant haze. It still was, maybe more now than ever. I probably should have prepared it all better. Maybe it was all just a dream. Maybe I should have thought about how this would affect our friendship when we woke up tomorrow. _Friendship._ But I didn't ask her. Because right here, in this moment, it seemed so easy and absolutely perfect to me.

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_A.N: You know the drill - leave a review if you want some spoilers. Please let me know what you think, it would make me very happy:)_


	15. Salsa

**Salsa**

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When I woke up, I was alone. I reached out for Bella, my eyes still closed, but my hands only locket around empty air. I looked around and she wasn't there. Not in the bed, not in the room. There was only me, sprawled out in the middle. Alone. I stupidly thought I'd pushed her out of bed in my sleep. Taken up too much space for her to be able to stay. Then I realized that instead I had moved around in my sleep trying to find her. When I didn't, I woke.

And then the dread of it hit me. It was all just a dream. Bella never spent the night here at all. Last night never happened, other than inside my mind. It was all just a dream. It wouldn't be the first time I dreamed of her. How much had been a dream? Only the last part? Was she sleeping clueless in Rachel's room? Or maybe she wasn't staying here with me this weekend at all. Maybe she wasn't even here. Maybe the crap about Leah had been a dream too. I slammed my head into the pillows wishing I'd never woke.

My eyes caught hold of something then. Her clothes. Shirt and sweats neatly folded over the back of the chair, just as I'd spotted them last night. My head lifted, scanning the room again. So she was here. She'd slept in my bed with me. But the rest? What happened later? Had that also just been a dream? The more I thought about it, the more sure I was. It was no dream. It couldn't be. I drew a deep breath. Her scent was still prominent in the air, clinging to the sheets. And besides, I was completely naked. Nope. This was no dream. _I've slept with Bella Swan. _I felt a goofy grin stretch over my face as the realization of it hit me, and I was glad no one was here to see it.

I drew another deep breath, filling my lungs and bathing in her scent. The memories all came rushing back, and I had to close my eyes for a second. The touches, the kisses. The scent, the light, the view. The feel of her against me. The bare skin, gleaming in the moonlight. The boobs. I felt my grin widen. I definitely remembered the boobs.

But where was she?

I got up, stumbling my way free from the curled sheets, and opened the door to the hallway. I could hear the shower running. Was she showering? I felt a pang of regret that I hadn't woken sooner. I wished I knew how she felt about this whole thing. Just to see her facial expression when she woke, when she remembered. My stomach knotted. What if she regretted it? What had happened between us? It had been so out of the blue, so sudden, so little thought through and unprepared. I hadn't even talked to her since it happened. I needed to see her, now. I needed to find out if she regretted it. If she did, I would make her not regret it. She just couldn't do that. I looked down. Considered dressing. But figured no sweats could ever cover up this boner properly anyway and strolled out leaving the clothes on the floor.

I hesitated before I knocked. She was showering. Naked. But I'd seen her naked. I'd more than seen her naked. And I wouldn't mind seeing her naked again. What I really feared was that she wouldn't want to see me at all. I knocked. And waited. She didn't reply. Maybe she didn't hear me. I opened the door slightly, and said her name quietly. Still no reply. I peeked in. The shower curtain was drawn but I could see her shape through the thin fabric. She was facing away from me, her hands lifted as she washed her hair. I was stunned for a few moments, as I reeled in memories of how she would look without the shower curtain. This was all so new. But then I felt like a peeping tom and got my self out of my own head. I couldn't just stand here.

I went over to the shower, and stepped in behind her. Her hair was all dark and wet as it clung to her back. She was running her fingers through it, washing out the conditioner she'd just used. Her eyes were pinched together as she tipped her face completely under the steaming water. That was probably why she hadn't heard me. I followed the drops of water with my eyes as they danced over her back and down her legs. I tried to remember how to breathe.

When I closed the shower curtain behind me, Bella turned around at the sound.

"Jacob!" she exclaimed, surprised. And, as I immediately noticed, embarrassed. She covered herself subtly with her arms, hiding her chest.

She hadn't been shy yesterday.

"Hi," I said simply. I reached out in the narrow space and rested my hands lightly on her hips. She seemed speechless at first, and her eyes were conflicted. We stared at each other for a few seconds, the silence stretching between us. I fought to keep my eyes from swaying down her body; knowing that wouldn't help much. I desperately hoped she wasn't regretting what had happened. She looked at me with uncertain eyes, and it was obvious she didn't know what to say. I didn't really know what to say either, so I just leaned down and kissed her carefully on the lips instead. She exhaled, and after a while I felt her relax a little. When our lips disconnected, she leaned back in my arms and gazed up at me, our height difference just as apparent as ever.

"It would only be stupid to waste hot water," I excused myself.

Bella actually snorted then, and a smile threatened to break free over her face. Her hair was soaked and drawn back from her face, almost as dark as mine. Water were running down her naked body, and she was just so _close. _I really hoped this wasn't still just a dream. "Yeah. I'm sure that's the only reason you're here," she said.

She was sounding almost like her normal self. I watched her as her eyes inconspicuously glanced down my body, and then widened slightly as she took me in. At first she didn't seem able to look away, and I realized she was checking me out. I immediately started to feel immensely smug. Suddenly, this shower was the most beautiful place on earth.

I grinned down at her. "Maybe not the only reason." I admitted. Bella didn't meet my eyes. She was still staring, her eyes still slightly wider than usual. By now, my ego had swelled to the size of Mount Everest. I decided to rub it in a little.

"Eyes up here, Bells," I reminded her, my grin widening by the prospect of the blush I knew would come. Bella snapped her eyes back up, and just as expected, a red hot blush started to spread over her cheeks. She sent me a rueful smile and I couldn't stop grinning. Maybe this wasn't so hopeless after all.

I leaned down to kiss her again, but in the movement my foot stepped on some spilt conditioner , and I slipped.

"Whow."

With great effort, I managed to grab hold of the shower head to hold me up, or else I would've been scrambling around on the floor squeezing Bella to a pancake. I heard her chuckling at me as I scrambled back up on my feet. I guess I was putting up quite a show, humping around her naked. Bambi on the ice flashback.

"It was on purpose," I insisted as I finally managed to get my feet back on their proper place. She started laughing, and reached her arms out to steady me. While she laughed, she tilted her head back slightly and I followed the droplets of water with my eyes as they ran down her chest. She'd never looked hotter.

"It's true," I insisted, and reached out to pull her back into my arms. I simply couldn't help it. I needed to touch her. "I was just showing you one of my salsa moves. Thought you'd like to see it."

She lifted her eyebrows high up on her forehead in mock fascination. "You know salsa?" she asked, still grinning. She knew very well the one and only dance I ever knew was The Chicken Dance.

"Of course," I waved off, while pulling her closer to me. She knew I was only joking anyway. "I'm actually really good, you know."

The only thing I knew about salsa, was that taco's were not the same without it.

"Amaze me," she dared me, her lips an inch from mine.

"Already did."

Our lips met again, slower and more profound this time. I heard her sigh, and then felt her lean her weight in my arms. Her hands slid up around my neck, and we just stood like that, kissing for a long time. My hair was getting soaked and water dripped into my eyes, but I barely noticed.

When we broke apart, our eyes locked for a long time. She studied me, and I watched as her face became more solemn and serious. She was thinking again, and suddenly she looked very fragile and breakable. For the manyeth of time I wondered what she was thinking about. Us, or something else? She leaned forward then, and rested her head on my chest. There was just something in the action that screamed _hold me, _and so I did. I hugged her close to me, and she wrapped her arms around my waist. We stood like this for a long time, letting the steamy water pour down on us. I counted the drops as they ran over her shoulder and down her back, now and then pressing my lips to her neck. I was simply reeling in the feeling over being with her like this. Last night, now. Having her naked body pressed so close to mine, her naked chest against mine. So new. In a shower, don't forget. Every perverted schoolboy's wettest dream. Literary.

Too soon she pulled away, and gently unwrapped my arms from her waist. She sent me a quick half smile before she sneaked past me, leaving me alone in the shower. I cut off the water and walked out after her, and then I found her a clean towel from the top shelf. We dried us both off in silence. She wrapped the towel around herself and walked out before I did, avoiding my gaze. I could feel a tiny knot form in my stomach. We would have to talk about this.

When I entered my room, she was in the middle of dressing. She was standing with her back too me, flipping a t-shirt over her head. She didn't look up, but kept herself occupied with putting on her own clothes. I was too worried about what she might be thinking to even stare at her naked legs. I pulled on a pair of sweats, before I sat down on the bed. By then Bella had already pulled on jeans, but still she didn't stop fluttering around. She sat down on her knees in front of her bag, and started folding her clothes while carefully avoiding my gaze.

"Bella," I said, when she'd folded the same t-shirt twice.

There was no way she couldn't have heard me, but still she continued to flutter around like before. She dived deeper down in her bag, seemingly searching for something. She found a clean t-shirt and then folded it on top of her other clothes before she dived back down in the bag again for another victim.

"Bells," I said.

Her hands stilled then, resting on top of her pile of neatly folded clothes. Slowly, she turned to look at me. Her eyes were uncertain.

"Come and sit with me?" I said, turning my voice up in a question at the end. I gently patted the space beside me on the bed. My bed. The bed where I'd slept with Bella Swan. _Jees, get a grip, _I told myself.

Bella silently got up on her feet and walked over to sit beside me. She was looking down at her hands resting in her lap. I tried to make her meet my gaze, and when she did her eyes were still uncertain. We studied each other for a long time.

"How are you?" I asked her. She knew what I meant.

"I'm fine," she answered way too fast while looking back down at her hands. My stomach sank like a ship in storm. She wasn't fine.

"Bells?"

She must have heard the alarm in my voice, because she met my gaze then. She studied me for a few seconds, before she sighed and looked back down.

"I'm..." she hesitated, before her eyes met mine again. Her look had turned thoughtful as she struggled to answer honestly. Her eyes weren't as conflicted as before. "I'm fine. Really," she finally said, the corner of her lips turning upwards. As we watched each other, a genuine smile started to spread on her lips. This time she meant it. My stomach crawled back up a few inches, seeing light in the distance. I smiled back at her, and her smile widened. "I'm just... I just don't know how to act around you, that's all," she said, shaking her head at her own silliness.

"Do you..." I hesitated, unsure how to put it and if I could bear hearing the answer. "Do you regret it? Last night, I mean."

Bella looked at me for a few seconds. I looked closely for any clues on her face, but found none. Then she slowly shook her head and smiled. "No."

Her answer was firm, definite. Sure. Not hesitating or considering. My stomach jumped back up, reaching it's proper place.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded.

"Really?"

She laughed then. "Yes, Jake, I'm sure."

I leaned in to kiss her, beyond relieved that this was okay. She closed her eyes and I was less than an inch away-

"Hey! Jacob! You in there?"

It was Embry. Bella opened her eyes, and we both heard the light sound of jogging footsteps outside. Christ, he knew how to pick his moments. _What now?_ I grumbled a little to myself as I reluctantly got up from the bed and went out into the hallway. I opened the front door just as Embry reached the porch stairs.

"There you are," he mumbled when he saw me. "You should come. There's another trail. The redhead."

"Where?" I frowned.

"A good way away from here," he shrugged. "Jared crossed it all accidentally. It's not fresh, it's from yesterday or the day before, but the thing is it's very _clear. _It had a very distinctive direction. Sam thinks we might get her this time. She wont expect us. The others are already headed out, and he wanted me to alert you."

"Oh."

For the first time, I hesitated. I turned to look over my shoulder, where I knew Bella was still sitting in my bedroom. Why did this have to happen _now? _Now when we'd was about to settle everything. This couldn't have happened at a worse timing.

Embry saw me hesitating.

"What's up with you?" he wondered. "Usually you're all snarling and crunching your knuckles when we find a new trail. Something happened?" He looked into the hallway behind me, and I could see his mind kicking into gear. "Is Bella still here?"

"Yeah. She is." I said absentmindedly, trying to get a grip and focus on the conversation.

"You had a fight or something?" Embry frowned.

"What? No..." I smiled to myself as I folded my arms and leaned against the door frame looking down. "No, we didn't have a fight..." Far from it.

It took a while before I realized Embry hadn't replied yet. The conversation had mysteriously faded out. Weird. I looked up, still feeling that goofy grin plastered on my face. I found Embry staring at me with a mixture of disbelief and raw amusement.

"You didn't," he stated, a leering grin threatening to break free on his face. His eyes swept over me again, taking me in properly for the first time. My loosely pulled-on-in-a-hurry sweats, my lack of other clothing, an then his eyes finally landed on my wet hair. "You didn't. Did you? No..."

"I have no idea what you're talking about" I said steadily, but I still couldn't keep that goofy grin from spreading all over my face as I studied my sockless feet.

Embry actually clapped his hands once and burst out laughing, shaking his head. "You did, didn't you? Dammit, Jake!"

He shook his head again, flashing his teeth in another grin. I let him laugh it out while trying to tame my own goofiness.  
"So, what now? You two are, like, official now? She's your girlfriend?"

_Official. _Gee, it sounded like we were about to get married. The word was ringing in my ears. Official, no. We hadn't talked about that yet. _Maybe I would have known by now if you'd stepped by just a little later, _I thought. Still, I was pretty sure Bella didn't like the whole boyfriend/girlfriend scenario.

"No, I don't know about _girlfriend,_" I said. _"_That's not really..."

I was about to say I didn't know if Bella really was comfortable with the phrase_ girlfriend,_ or _boyfriend _for that matter, when I heard a quiet inhale of air behind me. I turned around, and there she was, just entering the hallway. I smiled at her before I noticed her expression. Her face was drawn with surprise and hurt, her eyes betrayed as they bored into mine. The next thing I knew she'd swooshed past me and Embry and was out the door, her head bent down and her steps hurried. It took a few seconds for me to understand how my words must have sounded to her. Embry sent me a bewildered and slightly exasperated look, like if he was saying _What's wrong with you? You've finally got the girl and now you've changed your mind?_ Dammit. That wasn't what I meant. She'd got it all wrong.

"Bella," I called after her. I got myself into action and flew down the stairs of the front porch. I ran after her, and she'd already rounded the corner of the house before I caught up with her. I grabbed her arm to stop her, and she immediately started thrashing against me to loosen my grip. I didn't let go, but pulled her closer. She fought against me, her hands pushing against my chest. I tightened my arms around her, and pulled her into a tight hug. She resisted at first, but after a while she stopped thrashing and just stood still in my arms. I pulled back to look at her, still holding her in an embrace. She looked away, avoiding my eyes. Her eyes were moist with fresh tears that had yet to spill, her hair falling into her face. She swallowed hard as I lifted my hand to gently brush her hair away from her cheek.

"Are you, Bells?" I asked her.

She didn't reply, but moved her eyes to stare at me.

"You didn't let me finish back there," I tried to explain as I stroke her cheek again. "I was about to say I wasn't sure if you liked the word. Girlfriend. Boyfriend. It gives you bad memories, I know. But that doesn't mean I said _no_." I paused and searched her eyes for answers, but couldn't find any. "Are you?"

Bella drew a deep breath and cleared her throat before she spoke.

"I know we haven't talked about this" she said, her voice shaky. Her gaze flickered downwards. "I thought I didn't know. That it was too complicated. I didn't want to talk about it, I was glad we didn't. But when you said _no, _I... I thought you would say yes. I wanted you to say yes." Her eyes flickered back up to mine, filled with uncertainty. It was like if she was worried I would reject her. She couldn't be that stupid, could she? She knew how I felt for her, I'd hinted at this for the past six months or so.

She'd wanted me to say yes. Could this really be happening? I couldn't help but grin widely as I looked down at her. She looked up at me, unsure at first, before a smile formed on her lips too. As she took in my grin her eyes turned warm. When her smile widened, her cheeks made the moist in her eyes spill over and a single tear rolled down her cheek. I dried it away with my thumb before she could do it herself.

"Bells," I said in a low voice. " I know I may be a jerk some times and I always say the wrong thing. But you need to know that whenever I say something stupid, I always mean the opposite."

A simple laugh escaped her lips at my words, and she grinned up at me through watery eyes. Next thing I knew my lips were on hers. She responded softly, slow and profound, and I put both my palms up to frame her face. She let her arms encircle my neck, and pressed herself to me. When we broke apart after a few moments, she leaned back in my arms but didn't move away.

"I have to go," I said with deep regret. I didn't want to go. No bloodsucker in the world should make me leave her now. But still, I had to. "There's a new trail. The others are already on their way. But I'll be quick, all right? And when I come back it's just going to be you and me."

She smiled at my last words, even though her eyes had turned worried as soon as I mentioned a trail. "Is it Victoria?" she whispered, as if she was afraid someone would hear.

I nodded, and her frown depend. She was worrying way too much for her own good.

"Don't worry, Bells," I said. "We're many on one, and we're stronger. We'll be fine."

"Just be careful," she whispered.

"Will you stay here while I'm away?" For all I knew she may have plans today. I hoped she would stay, it would make me feel much better if I knew she was here.

"I'll be here when you come back," she promised with a smile.

She stretched up to kiss me once again before taking my hand in hers and leading us both back to the house.

The front porch was empty, which meant Embry had very tactfully left during our talk. With great regret I kissed Bella goodbye, and promised I'd be back soon. I had an uneasy feeling about leaving her alone, but it was probably only because of what had happened between us during the past few hours. It was all still very new, but at the same time it felt just so obvious and easy. She would still be on our side of the treaty line – she was safe here. I threw myself headfirst out into the woods, wishing with all my heart I could turn and go back in the opposite direction.

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_A.N: __Thank you all for reviewing. I'm looking forward to post the next chapter, it will be a bit different than the rest. If you want some spoilers, all you have to do is leave a review, he he;)_

___Thanks to kallmecrazy and JJ Twi1ight for helping me out with this story!_


	16. Warmth

_A.N: _

_Many big thank you's to JJtwi1ight and kallmecrazy for betaing, making order of my ramblings and making this story more understandable. Also many thank you's to everyone who reviewed. It makes me very happy, each and every little one. _

_Here is the next chapter – which for the first time is written in Bella's point of view:_

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**Warmth**

_- Bella's POV._

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I watched from the doorway as Jacob disappeared into the woods. My head was a big mixture of emotions and it was hard to even try naming them. All my thoughts were sloshed together. I was sad he was leaving, and it felt like I was missing him already. At the same time it felt good to be on my own, to be able to think clearly and sort through my own mind. I was terribly worried about him, and what could happen to him or any of the other boys while they were hunting down Victoria. Not to mention the confusion whirling through my head about what had happened earlier; both this morning and last night. I almost blushed by my own embarrassment when I thought about it. But mostly I was just incredibly happy. I think.

I closed the door behind me and went back into the living room. It was all so quiet here now. Usually, there was always someone here. Billy, or Jake. Guys from the pack. Sue, dad. Now it was just me left alone with the empty house. It felt weird.

I strolled my way into Jacobs room, not so sure what to do with myself. I halted by the door, and just stood there staring numbly at the bed. The sheets were all bundled together, wrinkled and creased. I blushed only for myself to see when I thought about how I'd acted last night. I'd literary attacked the poor guy. I didn't think it through or anything. I'd just felt this _need _for him, something stir that was long forgotten. What a way to wake him up. What must he think of me? But at the same time, I knew that wasn't right. I knew he didn't think anything like that.

I walked over to the bed and sat down carefully on the end. I let my hand stroke over the wrinkled bedspread a few times. I didn't regret it. No, I told myself. I didn't at all. And I knew it was the truth. I hadn't planned for it to happen. It just had. It just felt so right. When we kissed, when he touched me. Gentle fingers on soft skin. Light caresses. Trails made by burning hands. He truly was like my own personal sun, and I had felt like I couldn't get close to him enough. I knew I could have stopped it all by just a word, look even, and he would be okay with that. But I didn't. I didn't want to stop. Jake was right for me. He was the natural, good solution. And I didn't want it any other way.

It was so easy for me to be around him, to be myself with him. To be like...this...with him. This was easy. Effortless. Without thinking, wondering or speculating. This was Jacob. Effortless. Right. When I was with him, I was fully, completely one hundred percent happy. No acing cracks, or holes, no nothing. I smiled to myself. What a strange feeling.

I had been hesitant in really being in a full relationship with Jacob. It didn't seem fair. I had been broken goods after all, for so long now. I don't know exactly when I stopped being that. Maybe he fixed me somewhere along the way. Maybe I fixed myself. Maybe both. Or maybe my subconsciousness simply kicked my butt out of the mud. I don't know. I felt fine now. I felt better than fine. I felt happy. It felt like this was the way it was supposed to feel. It was a really good, new feeling.

I'd always liked him. He had always been so good to me. He'd accepted me just the way I was, broken beyond repair it seemed. He's seen me at my worst for a very long time. And spite that he had always been all smiles and jokes, always making me feel so good. It was all so easy. Too easy. With Edward it had been so complicated. Not with Jake. And he wanted me, I knew he did. If I couldn't give him as much as he deserved, yet, if I couldn't love him as much as he loved me, at least I could give him _this. _He'd given me so much. I thought about what I had given him in return, being all down and mopey for so long. It had never seemed like a fair deal to me, but I was glad he'd accepted it either way. I smiled to myself. Maybe he really _was _the older out of the two of us, even though I would never admit that to him of course.

I wondered if I loved him. I guess in some way I did. I knew I was in love with him. When that happened exactly, I didn't know. But I think I had realized it all more and more as the days past, and then it hit me full force those times I had thought I was going to loose him. Like the time he'd run after Victoria, coming home covered in blood. I'd felt a pang in my stomach when I saw him. Nothing like a hole, but as if something was eating me up raw from the inside. Times like that I had realized full force how much I depended on him. And that he was so much more than just a friend. That I loved him. Or was I in love with him? I didn't know. Those lines were still a little blurry to me.

I was afraid to talk about this, because I was afraid I would say something stupid. That something would slip from my mouth, something I wasn't ready to say. That I would have to take it back, and then hurt his feelings. I had always tried to avoid drawing connections between him and Edward, but when it came to this I didn't know how not to. I'd loved Edward. No doubt, I'd never questioned it. With all my heart, which he'd taken with him when he left. When I now _did _question if I loved Jacob, did that mean I didn't care for him as much as I had for Edward? _No,_ was my immediate response. But then again, who was I to judge. I'd been wrong before.

I didn't want to compare the two of them, but at the same time I couldn't help it. It was such great differences between them it didn't make sense to me that I could love both. With Edward it had all been grand and dramatic, love at first sight, swiping me off my feel without another look back. Everything he said was thought through, he was always considerate and gentle. His kisses were passionate, yet retained. There was always meaning beneath the jokes and always deep love and affection. He always thought about the future, and always thought ahead about what might happen. He'd offered his love and I'd grabbed it, a little too hard. When we disagreed about things, he'd mostly kept silent or tried to distract me.

With Jacob it was different. Jacob was friendship. He'd seen me for who I was deep down, worst side out. He was warm, and rash and didn't always think things through before he spoke. His jokes were light and easy, and sometimes they were just that, jokes. When we disagreed, we argued, because Jacob never stepped down, but always spoke from the heart. Incredibly annoying sometimes, but I liked it. That was one of the reasons I could be so sure of him; I always knew where I had him, how he felt about things. He was carefree and reckless, and took thing as they went. He made me feel light and happy inside, and was able to bring out a side of me I didn't even know I had before I met him.

With him, I was warm. I really liked being warm. It was so cold here now that he wasn't here. Unusually cold, without him. Too cold. I didn't like it. I missed the heat.

There was fire, and there was ice. Both so wonderful in completely different ways. It made me think I didn't deserve either. I snorted quietly to myself. Originally I probably should have just ended up with someone lukewarm. Like Mike.

I stood up from the bed and walked back out into the living room. On my way out, I sniffed the air a little extra. Embry had said it was stinking in here. His nose must be overly sensitive. Of course it was, he was a werewolf. But I had a nose for dust bunnies, and this room smelled fine to me.

I didn't really know what to settle doing, so I just ended up watching some tv on the couch. I watched a few cooking shows, but the last one was pretty boring so I think I might have dozed off now and then. I let my mind wander again.

The last word I'd heard from Edward (inside my head, just to mention), was in the car after the cliff dive. Jacob was just about to kiss me. And then I'd heard Edwards voice. _Be happy, _he'd said. It had teared me up, then, but when I thought about it later it didn't. I guess maybe it was my way to make peace with him. Edward. And maybe it had helped me reach my own decision, which was Jacob. I guess in some way I'd listened to Edward after all. I was happy now.

I'd never told Jacob this. If I did, he would only assume what happened between the two of us only was because the Edward inside my head approved it, and that wasn't right. And besides, that wasn't the last time I'd heard Edward's voice. He'd called me, too. For whatever reason I still didn't know. To my great astonishment, I noticed that when I thought about the phone call now, it didn't hurt. I was more like acknowledging it from a distant view. Weird. But I didn't complaint.

Once, I had wanted to be like Edward. I didn't want that now. I hadn't wanted that in a long time. I stroke the scar on my arm, the one James had given me. So many different destinies. I'd wanted many. And now, I was confident I had chosen right.

When my stomach rumbled loudly in the quiet room, I glanced down at my clock. Jake had been gone for hours already. I missed him. I was worried about him. I hoped he would come back soon. I flipped off the tv and got off the couch. I might as well start making dinner while I was here. I rummaged a bit through their tiny freezer, and couldn't help but notice how it was screaming for supplies. There were mostly frozen dinners and fish fingers here, along with some fish from dad and Billy's fishing trips. I managed to locate something that looked like a home-hunted steak and made a mental note to go to the store with Jake as soon as he came back. As much as he ate, it was surprising they didn't have more food here. Or maybe that was the reason right there.

I found some potatoes and a few carrots as well, and got to work. The good thing about making this type of dinner was that it could just make it self in the oven. I peeled and sliced it all, marinated the meat and waited for the oven to heat up.

I was just about to put the food in when a terrifying sound reached me from the woods. It was a howl, almost a whimper. It sounded weak, and painful. I froze, and a chill ran down my spine all the way to my toes. That was a wolf whimpering. A werewolf in pain. The steak fell from my limp hands and landed on the counter with a scrambling thud. I turned on the heel and ran outside.

"Jake?" I screamed, as the door slammed shut behind me. I ran to the forest edge, but then halted. I didn't know which way to run. I thought it had come from my left, but now I wasn't sure.

"Jacob!" I screamed again, desperate. I couldn't be sure it was him, but whoever it was had been in serious pain. Something must have happened during a fight with Victoria. Was it Embry? Quil? Maybe Sam? Or...or was it Jacob? I felt cold as I tipped up on my toes, straining my ears to hear _anything. _

And then I heard it again. The same whimper, only worse. I burst out into the trees, immediately tripping over my own feet. I barely noticed, but crawled back up and sprinted towards the sound. He was there. Someone was there. Hurt. In pain. I looked around wildly, trying to get a glimpse of movement. Nothing. The woods were traitorously still as ever. I thrashed along, forcing my way through the tight growing trees. I tripped again, and again, but didn't care. I had no idea what to do when I found him. What could I do? If he was hurt, I couldn't take him to a regular doctor. Not that I would be able to carry him anywhere. Billy was away, I couldn't run for help. I'd left my phone by the house, there was no one I could call. Maybe Sue, but then again, what could she do? I could only pray some of the other wolves knew, that they were phased too. Then they would come and help.

The wolf whimpered again, further away into the forest. It sounded so weak and hopeless I almost started crying in despair.

"Jake!" I yelled again. "Where are you?" It sounded like if he was giving up. Like if he wasn't going to come around. Ever. _No. You don't even know it it is him, _I told myself sternly, as I thrashed through another bush. _It's probably someone else. _But why would someone else be outside his house? It made no sense.

What if she'd bit him. What if Victoria had bit. It felt like someone had slammed a rock into my forehead when I thought of it. She was poisonous to him. If she bit him, there was no cure. He would die. I thought wildly about how Edward had sucked James' venom from my arm. Could I do that with Jacob? I would try. Whatever happened to me wasn't important. Another whimper. Closer now. I sprinted my hardest, barely noticed when I fell down, and then thrashed through a particularly overgrown bush.

I had entered a small clearing. Above, there was a small glimpse through the treetops, allowing some light to shine through. But I didn't notice any of these things. I got up on my feet, but then stopped dead in my tracks, staring in horror at the sight in front of me.

I wasn't alone in the clearing. There was another person there. Standing only just a few meters away, legs firmly planted to the ground. Arms loosely extended, as if to welcome me. If I'd continued, I would have run straight into her open arms. Her hair was sweeping gently around her head in the light breeze. Her flamboyant red hair. I stared at her in shock. My heart betrayed it's location by beating wildly, making the pulse hammer in my ears.

She cocked her head to the side, looking at me with a tiny smile playing on her lips. Then, very slowly she opened her mouth and yelped, sounding just like a wounded wolf. It was just as the sound I'd heard earlier. With a pang I realized it _was _the sound I'd heard earlier. I felt my eyes bulge, and her smile widened. "Victoria," I whispered, more to my self than anything, barely making a sound through my heavy gasping. I tried to control my heaving breaths, which were now heaving for completely different reasons. I could feel a panic attack coming.

"So you remember my name," she confirmed quietly. She took her eyes off of me for a second, and studied her own fingers as she flexed them nonchalantly. It was as if she was saying _You know you can't run. _And I knew that. There was no point in running.

It turned out it wasn't Jacob who was about to die, it was I.

Relief. Sick nauseating relief flooded through me and I was simply so relieved it wasn't Jacob out here. He was safe, far away, tracing a well thought out trail Victoria had made out to fool all of them so that she could get to me. It wasn't his whimpers I'd heard in the kitchen. It was only Victoria, pretending. I closed my eyes, thankful beyond words.

"I don't want you to close your eyes," I heard her say. "I want you to look at me when I kill you. For James."

When I opened my eyes her gaze was back on me, and she was much closer than before. She smiled as she took in my face. "Don't worry. Your dog friends are far away. We have all the time in the word to play together. I am in no rush."

Her words stirred something in me. This seemed somehow so familiar. I remembered Laurent's words in my head when _he _had circled me in a meadow, far away from here. "_If you knew what she had planned for you, Bella..."_ he'd said when he told me about Victoria. _"I swear you'd be thanking me for this." _I felt cold. What had she planned for me?

I stared at her in horror, and she tilted her head to the side as she measured me up and down.

"I'll start gentle," she whispered. Then I felt her hand against my wrist and heard a nauseating crack as the world turned upside down and my head hit a rock on the forest ground.

I didn't realize I was screaming before my lungs had run out of air. I quickly shut my mouth. I wouldn't scream, no matter how much it hurt. I would not give her the pleasure of hearing me scream. My head felt like a black hole, throbbing and pulsating, and something hot and wet pooled through my hair. I could smell the rusty smell of blood and my breakfast threatened to come back up. Through blurry eyes I watched Victoria standing over me. It was surreal that it was less than a day since I had woken up nice and warm in bed next to Jacob.

"Pathetic," Victoria murmured to herself, her face drawn with disgust as she took me in.

I wondered why she didn't just drain me and leave me. Or just crack me off limb by limb. I was bleeding, I must be, but she didn't seem affected. I took a closer look at her and noticed her eyes. They were bright red – she wasn't thirsty. She was prepared for this to last. _If you only knew what she had planned for you, Bella..._

Victoria tilted her head to the side yet again. "Did you really think it was your dog friend out here?"

The world was swirling. I could only focus on getting air to my lungs. My head throbbed.

"You must care a lot for him," she pondered.

I couldn't focus. Breathe, breathe. The trees were swimming. The next thing I knew, she was in my face. Her blood red eyes itching into mine and her curly hair gently whipping over my face, tickling my cheek.

"Maybe I should come for him too," she whispered with a smile. "I'm sure dogs can be pretty feisty."

My breaths stopped, and my eyes widened as I glared at her. She was studying me with amused eyes, waiting for my reaction. She was only trying to piss me off, deep down I knew that. But I didn't care. She would _not _come after Jacob. I felt anger build up inside me, red hot anger. I was sick of vampires using me, pretending to be someone else. James using my mom that time in Seattle. And now Victoria using Jacob. Even Edward that time when he called me, pretending to be Carlisle. I was sick of it.

I don't exactly know what I was trying to do. Maybe I tried to hit her, I don't know. Whatever it was that I tried, it resulted with another bang as my head hit the rock once again. Pain shot through my already throbbing head. _Jake, where are you_, I thought. Victoria laughed over me. Or I think she did, the sounds were getting all messed up. My brain was starting to slip in and out of focus, and I had to fight to stay in the presence. I felt slushy, my brain bumping against my scull in protest.

I must have blackened out, because the next time I came to my senses my ears were ringing with noise. Noise everywhere. Rippling and snarling and growling and cracking and I don't know what. I would have pressed my hands to my ears if only I could find them. I tried to move, and moaned quietly when a stabbing pain shot through my head. The noises quietened a little then, but I could still hear this ringing that wouldn't go away. Or maybe that was only inside my head. Maybe I blackened out again. I didn't know.

After a while I managed to open my eyes a little, peering out through my eyelashes. I was still laying down, I think. I probably was. No way I would be able to stand. The noises had settled now, I realized. There was someone there, a shape, but it wasn't Victoria. I couldn't see a flash of red anywhere; she must be gone. I suddenly filled with hope. Maybe I wasn't going to die after all. The shape came closer, and knelt down by my side. A wave of safety rushed over me, and my eyelids fell back down again. Jake had found me after all. Victoria was gone. I would be fine. It was over now.

"Jacob," I mumbled through heavy eyelids, as I peered up at my rescuer. I knew he would come and find me. He always did.

"No," a familiar voice said. It was not the voice I expected, not dark and warm and husky. I felt hands caress my face, my cheek, my forehead. The hands were not as I expected either, not big and warm and rough. They were smaller and smooth as silk. "It's not Jacob." The hands were so cold, and the voice was so familiar. Yet so distant. I recognized it as the only voice I'd ever heard inside my head, apart from my own.

My eyes shot open and my heart nearly stopped. His once golden eyes were now pitch black, in great contrast to his exceptionally pale skin. The shades under his eyes were so dark they were purple, and he looked like he'd been starving himself for months. Maybe he had. His hair was messy and windblown and absolutely stunning. The perfect angles of his nose and jaw just as chiseled as I remembered. At the same time I knew my memory hadn't done him justice at all. He was indescribable. He was perfection.

"Edward?" I felt my lips moving, but no sound escaped. My throat felt as dry as the Sahara dessert.

"I heard you scream," he explained. He gazed down at me with eyes beyond worried, his eyes so intense I couldn't help but shiver. I felt his hands against my cheek, stroking so lightly I barely felt it. At his touch, I felt the hole in my chest rip open. Longing poured out of it, the throbbing sore sides screaming to be healed. It screamed for him, and the longing filled my whole body. I felt like no time had passed since the last time I saw him, and memories of cool summer nights and whispered words flooded over me with violent force. My mind worked into overload and it became too much. The next thing I knew I was in his arms, desperately pressing myself closer to him. My throbbing head protested violently, my brain sloshing more than ever, but I ignored it. I clutched him to me, desperate for contact, and he hugged me back tight but gentle. He was sitting quite still, too still, and in the back of my mind I realized he was holding his breath. I knew I should pull away; I was bleeding, and probably making this so much harder for him. But there was no way I'd move away from him now. He was here. This was so different, yet still so familiar. His embrace was chilly and hard and I reeled in the wonderful feeling of it.

"Bella," he whispered. I felt lips press lightly against my neck. Once, twice. Hard and cold.

Tingling. Heartbeat. It was too much.

"Edward," I whispered again, simply because that was the only word I was able to form right now. Then I blacked out and couldn't remember anything else.

* * *

_A.N: Don't shoot me, please. Remember, if I'm dead no one will be here to send you spoilers when you review! And I bet you want those spoilers, right?_

_Right?_

_. . ._

_*hiding behind the sofa just in case*_


	17. Palefaces

_A.N: _

_Now, now, now ladies. (And gents). First of all, thanks for not shooting me (even though some of you tried and some of you threatened to. Some even started looking for their big author head banging stick). The response to the last chapter was overwhelming, and some of you sure are passionate about Edward, he he. I expected some reactions on Edward's return, but come on, you had to see that one coming! He's been hanging over this story since the beginning! But before you actually do come outside my house with stakes and flames (and big author head banging sticks), let me just ask you to have some faith in Bella, she is a smart girl after all._

_____Thank you all for the sweet reviews, and also for the more frightening ones. _Just so you know it, I wont make a habit of switching point of views – I only will when I think it is necessary. Tremendous thank you to kallmecrazy and JJTwi1ight for taking time in their busy lives to help me out and beta this story. 

_I'm too scared of you to leave you hanging, so here is the next chapter:_

* * *

**Palefaces**

-JPOV

* * *

_Damn bloodsucker._

_I know. _

_So close! If she'd just...aarggh._

We were standing on the edge of a cliff, looking down into the crashing waves where the trail just disappeared. The clouds hung threatening over our heads, the waves crashing below us. We'd been so close. So close. If the redhead hadn't been a coward and gone into the water, we would have had her. This trail was different, much clearer and easier to follow than before, and for once we might have had a fair chance. We could have surprised her. We could have finished her, once and for all.

_Damn, _Jared cursed again.

I'd caught up with the others in the end, and we'd followed this trail for over an hour now. Now there was no knowing when she would be coming back.

We turned around and spread out on our way back, above us a gray cloud of grumpiness. As the guys disappeared in different directions, I found myself running along side Embry and Quil. They were both in good spirits spite it all, and I was glad.

Quil dropped the bomb first.

_So how are things going with Bella, huh? _He asked, his thoughts filled with innuendos.

Embry was one gossipy friend.

_As if you don't know, _I told him. I really,_ really_ tried not to grin too much.

_I can't believe it. _Quil shook his head slightly and continued his teasing. _I mean, you? I always thought you would be the last pick. _

_Uh huh. Sure you did. _

_Yeah, why pick you when she could have had m-_

I snatched for his leg with my teeth, playfully trying to make him fall, but my jaw closed only around empty air. He started laughing.

_Alright, alright. Good for you, man. Good for you._

_It was about time too, _Embry chimed in.

_I was starting to get worried, _Quil pretended to be solemn, and Embry snickered.

As they continued their bantering I noticed Leah was paying attention to our conversation. She seemed deep in though as she took in what we, or they mostly, had been talking about.

_What? _I wondered.

I couldn't help but get slightly defensive. She had that effect on people. Leah didn't answer immediately, but kept mulling.

_What? _I pressed. She had no reason to poke in this.

_What are you what'ing about? _She glared. _Can't you just leave my head alone?_

_Not when you keep poking in mine._

She grumbled.

_What? _I pressed again. _Do you disapprove or something? Is that it? Are you going to ramble on about how you don't like Bella? Well don't, because this is none of your business._

I still hadn't forgotten about Friday when she'd been rude to Bells.

_I'm not doing any of that, you shitface. _

_Then _what _is it?_

Leah sulked a bit before I finally got hold of her thoughts.

_You love her too much. _

_What the hell is that supposed to mean? _I snorted. Of all the stupidest things.

_You do, _Leah snorted back. _You'll only get hurt. _Flashes of Sam ran through her head but she locked them away quickly.

I remembered what Seth had told me about Leah being protective. Yeah right. I took a closer look into her head.

_You think Cullen is coming back and swiping her off her feet, don't you. _

Leah didn't reply, but I knew I was right.

_You know, she is a human being. She does have a mind of her own,_ I told her. _She doesn't want him. If Cullen came back, she would stay with me. She said she would. _

She'd plain out told me she would. I was confident about that now. Leah focused on her own paws and didn't reply.

Quil of course, chose just this moment to intervene.

_So. Your first paleface. How was it?_

He tried to picture Bella naked, her face on top of some naked Baywatch girl. I snapped after his shin again. Not my girl, no.

_Oh, quit it! _Leah moaned. _Can't you all just stop picturing naked girls! I'm sick of dreaming about girls. How would you feel if was constantly thinking about naked guys?_

The image of a random naked hunk seeped into our minds.

_Ugh!_

_Stop it, Leah!_

_Come on, that's just nasty. _

Leah shook her head and sighed. _This is so unfair._

It was about an hour straight run before we finally reached the rez. A few of the others dropped out on the way back, while some continued on their original patrols. I was terribly annoyed that I had missed almost the whole day for nothing when I could have been doing so much more...

Quil sniggered.

_See ya, _I told him before I phased back. Even though I was annoyed, I still couldn't keep the grin of my face. Stupid goofy grin.

I walked the few hundred meters back to the house, excited to get home. Both Bella and the fridge would be there, thank God, with kisses and food. I was elated to see her again, (Bells, not the fridge), and every time I thought about last night (which was pretty often), my feet went faster. I was practically running by the time I reached the house. I jumped up the porch in one stride and jumped in.

"Hey Bells!"

I expected to see her in the living room or in the kitchen, but she wasn't there. That could only mean one thing. Really? With both disbelief and excitement I opened the bedroom door. But no, my bed was empty too.

"Bella?"

What was she doing? She wasn't out, was she? Her car was still parked outside the house, untouched since yesterday.

"Bells? Where are you? Come on, I'm not up for Where's Waldo right now, I'm kinda tired"

_And I kinda want to see you again. _As some of the buzz and excitement in my body calmed down and I started to focus, I realized she wasn't inside the house at all. Her heartbeat was missing, and the house was achingly silent. Or wait, there was a sound.

I strode back into the kitchen and turned off the oven, which was buzzing quietly. It was hot; it had been running for a while. I noticed the pan with peeled potatoes on the counter, and realized there was a steak in the sink. Wait, in the sink? I picked it up and placed it in the empty pan it must have fallen out of. What had happened here? She had been cooking, obviously. Maybe someone called, and she had to leave. On foot? Without turning off the oven? It didn't make sense. I placed the pan with the steak back on the counter. It looked like she'd left in a hurry.

I turned and walked outside with determined steps. Something was off. This couldn't have something to do with Victoria, she hadn't been around. I would have smelled her if she was. No, it was nothing like that. The whole place smelled fine. Maybe someone had visited, maybe Sue. Maybe Bella had joined her somewhere. But without leaving a note? The air outside was normal scented too, no sign of any visitors.

I was starting to get seriously worried, and I walked down from the stairs and took a quick sweep around the house. Nothing. Just her scent. I followed her scent out to the forest edge, where it led out in between the trees. What was she doing? Something was definitely off. Hesitantly, I followed her out into the forest. I was getting more and more worried for each step, and after a couple of hundred meters or so I still had no idea where she was headed.

It hit me violently, straight it the face. At first, everything was normal, but then suddenly I was standing in the middle of unmistakeable stench. It was the same stench that had filled my nose the whole day, on a distant trail. Only there was nothing distant about this. This stench was _fresh. _Too fresh. And it mixed with my Bella's scent, swallowing her trail completely.

I had phased before I was able to form a coherent thought, my clothes tearing around my frame. I dived into the forest, faster than I'd ever ran before, as I followed the mixture of stink and horror in front of me. Luckily, a few of the other guys were still out running and I didn't hesitate.

_She's here, come on! _Even inside my mind, my voice was trembling. _The redhead vamp! And Bella's out there too!_

I felt their confusion and alertness as they sped up. Some howled. Still, they were too far away.

_Bella's out there? _Embry thought panicked. _With him?_

_No, with the vamp! _I nearly roared, as a branch cracked against my face. I nearly stumbled, but caught myself in the last minute. _With Victoria whatshername. _I pictured her ugly face in my mind, to get their thick heads to understand. Why wouldn't they understand? _We need to find her, now! _

Embry ran even faster, and his head filled with both confusion and panic. _But he's here as well! We just caught the scent of him when you phased! Quil was just on his way over to your house to warn you!_

_Yeah, man, you need to know this,_ Quil urged, and I realized he wasn't far away at all, but running in direction of my house._ Sam recognized his scent, and we just-_

_He WHO? _I yelled blindly, stumbling over a rock. I took a moment before I was able to focus on their thoughts and see who they were rambling about.

A blurry image of Cullen's pointy face seeped into my mind.

I nearly froze for a second, but managed to continue on autopilot. I didn't know what to say.

Sam answered my silent demand for explanations. _We crossed his scent just now. I recognize it from that day the Cullens left, in the forest. It must be him. It's not old, it's only about minutes. He's here too. _

_Why can't things like this happen one at the time? _Embry spit angrily. _Why does it all have to happen at once? There's been weeks with nothing, and now suddenly there's two of them. _

_And with Bella in the middle._

_Maybe they're cooperating, _Quil mused. He was running too, and for once he was not excited. Finally he seemed to have grasped the seriousness of this. His thoughts speculated around Cullen and the redhead. What could happen if Cullen found Bella first? What if the redhead did? What if both did?

If Cullen found Bells before we got to her...Before I did... Who knew what he would be able to do to her. We needed to find her. _Now. _

_And alive, _someone echoed. I felt panic raise within me and I couldn't even make out who said it. I think Sam might have spoken to me, but I blocked out everything else. I couldn't think any more, I could only sprint.

I knew she was there only seconds before I saw her. Her scent was still mingled up with the scent from the redhead, but I could hear her heart racing. So she was still alive, I thought, beyond relieved. But her heart went too fast, way too fast. What state was she in? Was she injured? I could hear her lungs heaving for air, and movement. Was she moving? Was she bleeding? Dying? I couldn't think, but raced the last remaining meters towards the trees shielding her from me.

_Watch out, _the others warned me. _Remember she might not be alone._

_I'm closing in too, _Quil snarled. He was running a bit behind me, but closing up. _If someone else is there I've got your back. _

I ran through the last sheltering trees just then, and shredded to a halt in the middle of a little clearing in the trees.

Here, it was no longer the scent from only one vampire. It was the scent from two. You walk around for weeks, with no signs of leeches anywhere, but then suddenly there's two of them crowding your backyard. Two from my list of leeches I most want to burn.

The sight that met me was not what I had been expecting. I knew roughly where Bells would be before I saw her. I'd heard her heartbeat, her lungs, felt her presence. I'd been prepared to meet whoever else was there too, to watch out for any sharp movements or any sudden attacks. Victoria, possibly Cullen. What met me here was not something I had prepared for. To come from one leech and find her in the arms of another.

Bella was sitting on the forest floor, but she was not alone. Cullen. The face I'd seen all of three times in real life, once in a photograph and probably a thousand times inside the pack brain. I hadn't heard him, didn't know he would be here. I had only heard Bella's thundering heartbeat, not his. Because he had none.

They were embracing each other. She was hugging him. Clinging to him. He had her head tucked under his chin, his eyes closed. They were hugging. The sight made me forget everything else, that there could be another vampire out here as well. The redhead could probably have strangled me effortlessly right now, if she was here.

In the back of my mind I noticed a low rumbling sound, and then I realized it was me. Anger started to build up in my chest, slowly freeing me from my frozen state. Bella had her arms around Cullen's neck as he had his arms around her waist. Touching. I saw red. He must have hypnotized her with his vamp shit. Tricked her some way. She didn't know what she was doing. He held her in a tight grip. Too tight. Squeezing her. He stroke her back with his palm. The rumbling grew louder.

"Bella," I heard him say. He either was too preoccupied in the moment to notice me, or he was ignoring me steadily. I knew about his mind reading tricks. I saw his lips stretch down to her neck, as he kissed her neck. My stomach turned and I nearly threw up. He kissed her neck again. He leaned down again, and I panicked. What if he bit? I was about to lunge him, get him away from her. Only her voice stopped me.

"Edward," she whispered.

I couldn't move. Her voice was like a caress as it embraced his name. It was filled with emotion. Helplessly I stood there, numb to my feet, watching her say his name. _That _way. The loving way. Like she had rarely, if ever, said mine. I was unable to move, to raise my arms, to do anything. For a moment, I was helpless.

All of this happened very fast. It had been less than five seconds since I approached the clearing, and saw them for the first time. Still, it felt like a lifetime. This could not be happening. I wouldn't let this happen. She was not herself. He was tricking her, dazzling her. This was not happening. I felt life and anger return to my veins, the rumbling turning into a growl. The next thing I heard was her heart fluttering once more, before her head fell down against his neck and she fainted.

A horrifying roar escaped me.

Cullen face snapped up, maybe for the first time realizing I was audience to their happy reunion. Or maybe he'd known before, but ignored me. I couldn't tell. In one fluid moment he'd moved past Bella to stand in front of her. Between her and me. Like he was shielding her from _me, _when I should be the one shielding her from _him. _He bent down over her, his crouch defensive. Possessive. Like he owned her. Like I was dangerous.

I could smell her blood.

I crouched down, planting my feet firmly in the ground for better take off. If. He. Would. Let. Her. Go. I would kill him.

_Jacob! _I heard Sam yell inside my head, but I didn't pay attention to him now. My eyes were glued to Cullen.

_Move away from her! _I roared, only a rippling snarl all that escaped my mouth. I knew he could hear me anyway. And he would be plain stupid if he didn't get the picture.

"Move away from _her_!" he echoed my thoughts. His face was set in a fierce mask, his eyes hostile.

I nearly lunged at him then, and I would have if it hadn't been for Bella. She was too close. I couldn't rip him apart while she was so close, so helpless, unmovable. If I lunged at him now, he could fall and hurt her.

As in response to my thoughts, Cullen moved slightly away from Bella's limp body on the forest floor. He was still between her and me, but he moved more to the side so that she was more or less out of the danger zone. I copied his movements. He was still too close to her, but this was better than nothing.

His face was all sharp and pointy and filled with sharp angles. His eyes were a sickening black, in dangerous contrast to his skin. He was so pale he was almost blue. The shades under his eyes made him look hungry. Maybe he was hungry. Maybe he was just here to get a meal. A free blood bag. Bella blood bag.

He growled. I took it as a threat, and snarled back. His body inched back towards Bella, hovering around her in a possessive way. Maybe he had planned to take her with him. Free walking blood bag. To take a sip whenever he wanted. Or maybe he wanted more from her. My stomach turned again. Free fuckable blood bag.

His eyes turned deadly. "You're disgusting" he snarled. "I would never do such a thing."

I snarled back. I planted my feet more firmly to the ground, ready to lunge at him given the slightest movement.

_Nearly there, _I heard Quil in my head, breathless. He would be here soon.

Cullen must have heard too, and he stiffened. Whatever. If Quil arrived or not didn't matter. This was Cullen against me, no one else. I could take him down alone.

Bella let out a quiet sigh on the ground beside us, and we both turned our attention to her for a tiny second. She didn't wake. _You can still hear her heartbeat,_ I told myself over and over. _Still heartbeat. Still alive. Still alive. _She'd just fainted. Not dead, just fainted. Still heartbeat.

Cullen turned his attention back to me, and his eyes were not as deadly as before. He must have heard me again because his voice was low and even when he spoke.

"She is alive, yes. She only fainted."

I snarled at him. That mindpoking was annoying as hell. And Bella hadn't 'only' fainted, Bella was unconscious. Because of him. _My _Bella was unconscious because of him.

While I was thinking, Cullen got a funny expression on his face. He sent me a confused look, before his gaze started wandering back and forth between Bells and me. What was his problem? He took his eyes off from me again, and looked back down at her. I could take him now, when he had his attention elsewhere. I crouched.

"_Your_ Bella?" he said then, and turned back to face me, completely unconcerned about my posture. I was about to lunge, when I froze. Hey. Wait a sec. What was he saying?

"_Your_ Bella?" he repeated. It didn't seem like he was about to attack me. His voice was sad, worried. Confused. Angry. Frightened?

I measured him up and down. He was still studying me with wary eyes, as if he was looking for an answer written on my forehead. Like he expected me to answer him. Like he deserved anything like an answer.

_Yes, _I thought anyway, my tone mocking. Leech. I was confident about her. She was with me now. She _was_ my Bella. Even though she'd embraced him and said his name like that before... I looked down at her, and he did too.

From the corner of my eye, I saw his face fall into a sad and thoughtful mask. But he didn't back down, he still stood between me and her. I kept my defensive position, as did he.

Cullen's gaze looked up just as Quil entered the circle. Still, he didn't seem to realize he was outnumbered, but sharpened his stance in front of Bella.

_He's on our land, _Quil thought. He walked up to my right side, taking a firm stance. _We're allowed to take him. It's up to us. _

Excitement and thrill of the situation was seeping through his thoughts.

_He must have saved Bella from the other vampire, _Sam reasoned in my head, still running towards the clearing. He wasn't far away. _We wont make the first move. _

His words were firm, definite. I knew there was no way around them, and I hated that.

Cullen concentrated on my face and ignored Quil completely.

"I know I broke the treaty line. But I heard her scream, and I couldn't let that stop me from coming to her. If you still find reason to attack me, then so be it. I wouldn't do anything different."

I was caught off guard when he said she had been screaming. I looked down at her. She looked fine, apart from the slight cut she had on the side of her head. Oh, yeah, and the fact that she was unconscious. And bleeding. Yeah, apart from that she was in tip top shape.

I wondered what happened with the other leech.

"She fled," Cullen offered, never relaxing his defensive posture. "Victoria. I heard Bella scream, and came here. I fought Victoria. She fled. I could have followed her, but I didn't want to leave Bella unprotected."

His words were short, to the point. His voice bitter. I had a feeling that had more to do with me than the subject.

_Why were you around here in the first place? _I snarled at him.

He didn't answer immediately.

_Let's get him, _Quil whispered in my head.

Cullen sighed, and replied with a tired voice. "I'm here to see her, what else? I went to her house but she was not there. I was planning to wait for her to come back, but then became aware of the scents surrounding her house. It was like an awful wet dog smell, and I realize now it was you. It was everywhere, all over the forest and backyard. It made me concerned, and I followed it to the treaty line. I waited, considered what to do. And then I heard her scream."

He sounded like he was talking to a kid, and I didn't like it.

Sam and Embry appeared in the clearing just then. Cullen didn't even look up when they entered, but I could see his shoulders stiffen. He inched a possessive millimeter closer to Bells. I growled.

_We wont make the first move, _Sam said again. He was both reminding me and informing Cullen. Cullen turned to look at him, and Sam continued. _Thank you for saving the girl. You will now leave. This is our land, and we have a treaty._

Cullen didn't reply. His stance over Bella stiffened.

_Get out of here, _I snarled at him. Quil shivered beside me, straining to hold back. Cullen looked at me, his face angry and set in stone.

"I'm taking her with me."

_No, _I thought, with passion.

"She can't be around you, you're dangerous. Werewolves are unstable."

_Bullshit._

_"_In human shape, you are. You can't be around her. What if you phase when she is around? I'm taking her with me."

_Leave. Now._

"I'm not leaving her here with you!"

_You already did,_ I reminded him, thinking about that time when Sam found her in the forest. The memory was still crystal clear in my mind, even though I'd only seen it through Sam. It still pained _me _to think about it, and then it was bound to bother _him._ Pain shot over his face and his expression darkened as he absorbed the image I threw at him.

_Your fault, _I underlined, throwing him another image of her zombie version. _Haven't you done enough damage? _For a moment, I thought I could see him wince, and he took a step back. He suddenly seemed defeated, and maybe he realized he was. He took another step back, away from Bella. Still he didn't seem able to loose his protective stance completely.

_She's not yours to protect, _I snapped at him. Like she needed protection from _him._

I was the one who was supposed to protect her. He was the danger here. I glanced down at Bella's unconscious body, for a moment distracted. My stomach twisted with uneasy fear and worry. She needed to get out of here, now. I needed to know she was okay. That she would be okay. It seemed surreal that it was only yesterday we had walked side by side along First beach. I had thrown her up on my back when it started raining, and I imagined her thrilling laughter as she'd tried to get down. She needed to wake up now. I needed to hear that laughter again, and then everything would be fine. Or at least see her smile. If she could only give me that warm, happy smile I loved the most and that made me all fussy inside, everything would be fine.

Cullen's expression made me snap back to the presence. He was staring at me, and looked like she was about to say something but then thought better of it. I felt Jared appear behind us just then, as he finally reached the clearing too. Cullen had no choice but to leave. He was majorly outnumbered, and he knew it. I could see it in his face.

He knew he had no choice. Mind reader or not; he couldn't outrun us while carrying Bella. He knew that too. I looked back down at her motionless body. Was she still bleeding? She needed to go to the hospital, not lie here on the cold ground.

Cullen looked down at her too, his sharp face drawn in concerned lines.

"Will you take her to the hospital?" he assured.

I snarled impatiently. _No, we'll just treat her with smoke puffs and tribal herbs. Of course I will __take her to the hospital._

He nodded to himself, his eyes sad. I had no compassion. I'd seen Bella sad over him a few hundred times too much. Cullen moved his gaze to me, agonized. For a second there I felt like a little kid looking into the eyes of an ancient.

"I will leave, if you can promise I can see her tomorrow. I need to talk with her."

Like he was in situation to make arrangements._ You've spoken with her enough, _I snapped.

He ignored me and moved his gaze to Sam. "I will wait by the border tomorrow. If she doesn't come, I will come to see her myself." His voice was low and quiet, but I knew he meant it nonetheless. He turned to scowl at me. " I trust you to take Bella to a hospital. I can see you love her enough to see what's best for her," he hissed. His face was both hurt and angry when he said the last part, and it was clearly nothing he'd observed with a light heart. With a last, regretful look at Bella's unconscious form, he moved and disappeared into the woods. He knew he had no other choice.

I was not the only one who had to fight my legs not to follow him. It was nearly impossible not to follow the instinct to _hunt. _I could just take him down, tear his neck from...

_Jacob, _Sam interrupted me, ordering me back in place.

_He broke the treaty! He entered our land!_

_Yeah, to save your girlfriend from getting killed. What would you prefer happened, he stayed on the border and Bella died?_

I almost turned on the spot to lunge at Sam.

_Jacob,_ he thought. _He saved her life. _

_He broke the treaty!_

_We owe him._

_I don't give a rats ass! We don't owe him anything,_ I spat.

_I guess that's up to you. But we're not attacking. He past the border, yes, but for a very good reason. He wont come back. We will let it pass._

I snarled, but couldn't argue.

I phased back as soon as I felt it was safe enough, as soon as I was sure Cullen was truly a good while away. I hurried over to Bella, while the others spread out to make sure there were no more leeches on the land. Some followed the scent of Victoria, some Cullen. Just to make sure.

"Bells," I whispered, shaking her slightly. She didn't respond. It looked like she was sleeping steadily on the forest floor, and panic gripped me again. I took a closer look at her head wound, and it wasn't as bad as I had feared. Some blood, and most likely a hard blow, but not a major cut. Apart from that, she seemed fine. Yeah, except that she was still unconscious. I tried to ease her over in my arms without jostling her too much, and she moaned incoherently when I lifted her up from the ground.

I hurried back to the house with her as fast as I could. I half run back through the trees, trying my best not to jostle her too much. Thankfully I'd left the door open earlier, so I didn't have to struggle to get in. I put her down in the sofa, which was the first free surface I could think of really. Bella sighed as I put her down, her head against one of the cushions.

"Edward?" she moaned incoherently, slicing my heart into ten million little pieces with a stale knife. Her eyelids fluttered.

"No." My throat was dry. "It's Jacob."

"Oh."

_Oh. _She could just as well have squashed my heart in the food processor. Bella opened her eyes then, and struggled to make out my shape under hazy eyelids. If only she would say _my _name that way...

"Victoria?" she mumbled instead.

"She's not here."

"Oh."

Oh, again. Her bewildered eyes gave up trying to find me, and she closed them with a sigh. I was worried out of my mind, and so relieved she was starting to wake, I just couldn't help it. I leaned down, and gently touched her lips with mine. Her lips were dry, but soft. She smelled vaguely of leech.

"Jake," she mumbled when I pulled back, finally saying my name. I imagined her sewing my heart together with a sewing kit. It felt a little bit better. "My head hurts," she mumbled.

"I know," I said, stroking the side of her head. "Let's get you to a hospital."

Her eyes shot back open, and her eyes finally found mine. "No," she said, her voice surprisingly stern.

"Bella, your head..."

"Tomorrow," she clarified. She closed her eyes again. "We'll go tomorrow, promise. Just not right now." Her words were all sloshed together as she spoke, and she seemed to relax back into the cushions. "T'morrow," she promised again, when I hesitated.

Embry and Jared burst in through the open door just then.

"How is she?" Embry went over to the couch and knelt down beside me, looking anxiously at Bella. Jared hesitated by the chair behind him.

"She said her head hurts," I explained, gesturing to her head wound.

"Yes, obviously Jacob, a blow to the head would hurt," Embry muttered to himself, taking a closer look at her wound.

"Should we drive her to the hospital then?" Jared asked.

I hesitated again, unsure what to do.

"No hospital," Bella mumbled, her eyes still closed. "We'll go there tomorrow."

I bent over her wound again, examining the damage. I didn't really have a lot of experience with woulds; we didn't need it. But Sam had, so I'd seen some through his memories. It didn't look that bad, not anymore. She must have had a hard blow to the head, and probably a concussion, but I couldn't see other damage on her. For some reason I wished my dad was here; he was good at these things. I looked at Embry and he shrugged.

"I'll clean the wound first," I declared as I got back up on my feet. "Then we'll decide."

Embry nodded, and stood up too. Then he took another look at me, and snorted. He threw me a pair of sweats hanging over the back of the closest chair.

"Hey Jacob, get some pants on. I'm happy that you two made up and all, but I don't think she's fit for fun right now."

I shot him a glare he didn't see, but quickly pulled on the sweats he'd thrown at me.

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_A.N: See? Not a terribly mean cliffhanger this time. __Please be patient with me, there's a point why I'm putting you through this. I'll explain it aaall in the end. _

_Please let me know what you think, even if only to tell me you can't wait to bang me in the head with that big author head banging stick. I will bribe you with spoilers;)_


	18. To murder an elephant

_A.N: I don't have enough fingers to count how many times I've rewritten this chapter. Hopefully you'll like it. Thanks to JJ Twi1light for betaing!_

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**To murder an elephant**

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After cleaning the wound on her head, it didn't really look bad at all. The bleeding had stopped and the rest of her seemed unharmed. Jared and Embry had left a while ago, they just came to reassure she would be okay. They were out running now, everyone but me. I guess I had good reason not to.

Bella's knees were scraped up throughroughly, but that was probably something she'd done herself by tripping. She seemed a little slurred at first, but as the minutes passed she started to wake up and become more like herself.

Okay, erase that last part. Bella wasn't being like herself at all. She sat on the edge of the couch, watching me do the the little I could. We did't speak. Her shoulders were hunched together, hands trembling slightly in her lap. She didn't really manage to meet my eyes, which made me more terrified than anything else. She just sat there, watching _my_ trembling hands as I put away dad's first aid kit.

"Felling better?" I finally asked, raising my hand to graze the side of her head, which was now covered with a bright white band aid.

Bella opened her mouth to answer, but no sound escaped. She cleared her throat. "Not really," she said honestly, her voice rasping. "But thank you."

She avoided meeting my eyes again.

"Bella," I heard myself say. The voice didn't sound like mine.

Her eyes flashed to mine then, and when she looked at me it was impossible to look away. Her eyes were huge and scared, filled with guilt and heartbreak. I needed her to tell me what was going on inside her head, but I was too afraid of her answer to ask.

"Let's go," I said instead, my eyes still level with hers.

"Go?" she wondered, suddenly disorientated. "Where?"

I cleared my throat, but my voice was still hoarse. "ER, Bella."

"I'm fine," she said quickly, her voice a bit groggy too. "It's just a headache. I don't think you need to take me to the ER."

"Yes, I do," I stated firmly. "I'm not debating that, Bells." She _would _see a doctor, whether she liked it or not.

She didn't protest again, but instead she leaned forward and rested her head on my chest. This was so unexpected it caught me off guard, and my hands raised automatically to her shoulders. It was silent for a long time, the only sound coming from our mixed up heartbeats. They were both running way too fast. After a few moments, I heard her mouth open, then close without a sound. I pulled back to look at her. Her eyes flashed to mine, and I knew she wanted to say something. I could see her struggling to find the words. The frown was back up on her forehead.

"Spit it out," I told her.

She sighed, and sent me a unsure look through her lashes while chewing on her lip.

"What...happened?" she whispered. Her eyes fluttered back and forth between mine. "Did you meet him? Where is he?"

I tore my eyes away from hers. Of course she would ask for him. I'd known she would. Of course.

"You fainted," I explained briefly, before adding "I don't know where he went. He left shortly after I found you." My voice sounded bitter.

Her eyes, already huge from absorbing my words, widened even more.

"What?" she whispered frightened, her eyes like spaceships. "He left? You don't know where he is? He's gone _again_?"

She should have said it in excitement. _He left! He's gone! Hallelujah! Merry Christmas! Thank you, Jacob, thank you! Oh, Jacob!_

That's what she should have said. Instead her bottom lip trembled, her voice was filled with both fear and annoyance, and her eyes widened so much I was afraid they would pop out. She looked like she'd seen a ghost.

Well, she had seen a dead person.

"J...He...H.."

Bella started stuttering, not able to form a full sentence. Or a word, really. My heart sank all the way down to the pit of my stomach as I looked at her.

"Don't worry," I said sourly. "He didn't go far."

The stuttering stopped, replaced by a frown. Her eyes moved from my face, and fluttered to the front door.

"He's here?"

Of all the stupidest things.

"No, Bella, he's not here," I sighed heavily.

I gently pulled away from her, so that I could get up on my feet. This conversation was not going the way I wanted. By far. I looked away from her to stare out of the window. It was starting to get dark out. I could feel her gaze on me the whole time.

"What happened, Jacob?" she asked quietly.

I sighed. She wouldn't stop, would she? I guess she would find out sooner or later. "He said he came here to see you. I don't know why. He explained how he fought that other leech, and she fled. Then he..." I hesitated. "We talked and he left."

Her eyes narrowed. " You talked?"

"Fine. He poked in my head. That sound better to you?" I snapped.

Bella didn't seem to notice my words. Her eyes were starting to widen again. "You fought him, didn't you? The pack fought him?"

Did she _have_ to sound so concerned? I didn't know if it was for my sake or his.

"No," I said harshly. "He left voluntarily."

Almost.

Bella got up from the couch to stand beside me, but then she winced. She moved her hand to her head, confused. For a moment, I forgot everything else.

"Does it hurt?" I asked. Brilliant question. Of course it hurt. "Come on, we're going to the ER."

"Mmm," Bella squeezed her eyes shut for a second. "I'm just gonna get some water."

I followed her out in the kitchen, hovering around her as she stumbled ahead in front of me. She found a glass and gulped down some water while leaning against the counter. When I asked her if she wanted something to eat, she just wrinkled her nose at me.

"I really can't stand the thought of food right now," she explained. I noticed she was eyeing the half prepared dinner on the counter beside her with dubious eyes. I frowned. She looked like she might be sick.

"You look a bit green, Bells," I noted. "You sure you're all right?"

"Uh huh."

Her eyes were glued to the steak beside her. Okay, now she _was _turning green.

"Bells?"

She put the water down and for a second it looked like she was about to throw up. "I need some air," she muttered incoherently before she stumbled outside.

I found her on the front porch, taking heavy breaths as she gulped down the fresh air. "Come on." I leaned down and grabbed her hand as I snatched the car keys from their shelf in the hallway.

She followed without protesting as I we walked to my Rabbit, and I was glad she clutched my hand instead of pulling away. I opened the door for her when we reached the car, and helped her get inside. She leaned back to rest in her seat, her eyes closed, and I leaned over her to tuck the belt around her since she didn't seem like she was about to do it herself any time soon.

I was about to straighten up and close the door when I hesitated. It couldn't hurt, and I couldn't help it. So I leaned forwards and kissed her. Lightly, softly, just touching her lips. She _was _still my girl, for all it was worth.

Bella opened her eyes in surprise. When I pulled back to look at her she sent me a tiny smile. Just a little one, but it was honest and genuine and made me feel a little bit better. Then she closed her eyes and concentrated on getting air to her lungs.

I got in behind the wheel, and put the keys in the ignition. When I turned to look at her, she still seemed a little green under that pale skin.

"How are you feeling?" I asked. "You're not going to throw up, are you?"

I reached out to put my wrist against her forehead. Her temperature seemed fine, as cold as usual. No fever. She opened her eyes slowly and they finally met mine. A weak smile spread on her lips, and her eyes twinkled a little.

"I don't think so. But don't worry, I'll let you know soon enough if it comes to that. Your car is safe."

I smiled at her, simply because I couldn't help responding to hers. Typical of her to think about the car instead of herself.

We drove in silence for a few moments, Bella still with her eyes closed. Maybe she was fighting the nausea, or maybe her head hurt. Maybe both.

"It was false you know," she said after a while. Her voice was quiet, and she didn't open her eyes. "The trail you followed. Victoria meant for you to follow it, to get you out of the way. It was a trap."

"I know," I said, turning briefly to look at her. "We figured as much."

Another silence passed. Her words had got my brain working again, and I realized there still was something to this whole mess that didn't make sense.

"Why did you go so far into the forest?" I wondered, keeping my eyes on the road. "If you knew she was here, why did you go? Why didn't you stay here?" It didn't make sense to me that she would just stroll out into the forest on her own. I had no idea how Victoria had gotten her there.

"Because I didn't know it was her." Bella hesitated for the quarter of a second. "I thought it was you."

I frowned and turned to look at her. "What?"

She elaborated. "She was whimpering. Like an animal. You know how they can imitate voices..."

Her voice drifted off. Yes, I knew vamps were good at that. I carefully considered what she'd just told me. She had thought it was me out there. And she had run straight into the forest to help me, to get to me. The thought didn't make me comforted, on the contrary. It made me even more worried. How could we know this wouldn't happen again?

After a silent drive we reached the parking lot in front of the ER, and I helped her out despite her protests and _I'm fine_'s. We got inside, and was met by all kinds of people asking all kinds of questions. They wanted to know what had happened (Bella clumsily explained that she had fallen while hiking), and they asked different questions about how and when and why. I was not allowed inside, but had to sit outside in the waiting room. Some random assistant took pity on me and explained in a low voice that Bella needed to go through the necessary exams to rule out the probability of brain swelling or concussion. As a result of a hard blow to the head, the brain was likely to be jolted, and they needed to be sure of the severity of the situation. My focus started to drift while he started an intricate explanation about cerebrospinal fluid and brain tissue. And let's face it, my mind was too filled with Cullen and the frequent mention of "brain injury" to really pay attention. The assistant dashed away after a while, leaving me to my own thoughts.

I felt a bit sick.

What if she was seriously ill? What if those glitterdouches had really hurt her? I clenched my hands into fists as I thought about Cullen. He had no business here. I don't know how many times I re-lived the first thing I'd seen when I entered the clearing. Her arms around him, moaning his name. I tried to reason with myself, assure myself that it was _him _who had kissed _her _and not the other way around. All she did was hug him, and address his name. That was okay. That was to be expected. Nothing out of line.

In pure frustration I started playing with a lighter. I lit it. Shut it. Lit it. Shut it. Imagined how easy it would be to end it all. Tear him limb from limb. Burn the pieces. It shouldn't be difficult. I knew it wasn't. I stuffed the lighter in my pocket.

After about a little eternity, Bella reappeared in the doorway. She was clutching a box with medications in her hand, assuring the woman she was talking to that she was just fine, just fine. It was only a concussion, she said. The woman gave Bella a few last minute reminders and orders to take it easy, and to come back if the symptoms didn't pass. She'd been lucky. In the meantime, lots of sleep and rest, and absolutely no running or jumping or sudden movements.

The list of symptoms was never ending. Headache. Check. Dizziness and nausea. Check. Vomiting. Not a far cry. Light sensitivity. Probably. I couldn't help but snigger despite myself at her mention of how a concussion might cause lack of motor coordination. Bella always had problems with coordination, so if she got more difficulty balancing, she wouldn't be able to walk at all.

Confusion, disorientation, difficulty focusing attention. All these suited fine with my experiences with her so far. The list went on and on, ending on mood swings. Crankiness, tearfulness. Irritability. Great.

We drove back to La Push just the same way as we arrived. I was driving, Bella resting her head back and her eyes closed. I turned to cast a sideway glance at her, both hands on the wheel.

"They haven't bandaged your head," I noted, wanting to keep a light tone as long as possible. After expecting the worst, I'd almost waited to get her home with a neck support and a wheelchair. Bot no, there was only a hospital-looking simple band aid on the side of her head.

"They tried," she muttered. "But I persuaded them not to. Charlie would freak out. That would be a nightmare. And just imagine all the pirate cracks."

She peeked over at me, the corner of her lips turning up into a smile. I smiled back at her. For a moment there, we were just like before.

Yeah. But that was about it. The rest of the drive was silent. Bella was staring out the window, and I could almost physically feel the grey cloud hanging over her head. She was brooding. Over-thinking. Speculating. Building up her mood-tower brick for brick, until it in the end would get tall enough for her to freak out.

It was late when we arrived back home. We talked a bit about wether or not she should call Charlie, but other than that Bella was excruciatingly silent. I knew we needed to talk, about Cullen and all this other shit, I knew it, but she was unapproachable. She shut in on herself completely. None of us addressed the obvious elephant in the room, even though I knew we had to. Bella was sitting in the side of the sofa, and she didn't say anything for a very long time. Her arms were crossed as she glowered at the table, and she was clearly not in the mood for a chat. The elephant was growing bigger and bigger, and it turned enormous. In the end, it consumed my vision and every inch of my brain. There was a loaded silence, to put it mildly.

I was just debating with myself the best way to unleash hell, when she stomped her foot. She actually stomped her foot. I looked up, amused despite it all.

"Bells?"

No reply.

"Why are you stomping your foot?"

No reply. No reaction at all, actually. I was starting to wonder of I'd imagined it, but then she spoke up.

"How difficult is it to take a phone call, Jacob?"

I stared at her blankly. Bella started at the table.

"Huh?"

"I mean, it's not difficult. You just pick up and dial the number. And then you speak. It's not more advanced than that."

I shook my head a little, as if to make sure I heard her right. Was she accusing me of not calling her? When was it I was supposed to have called her?

"What are y-?"

"Or send a letter. There's a point why we send letters. Or a post-it-note. A post-it-note would do. Or just an email. Just click a button. It's not that difficult to figure out?"

She'd lost me.

"Bella, what the hell are yo-?"

"It's rude. It's just rude. To just show up after months of nothing. You should at least text me first, right? Or send me a smoke signal or something. You don't just disappear for good and then suddenly come barging in like you own the place."

Oh. I realized, a little too late, that this had nothing to do with me at all. The elephant in the room perked up as Bella poked it in the leg with a stick.

Bella raised her voice, and she was now scowling at the table with full force. "You can't just expect to come back and have everything as they were before. Things change, big surprise. If you promise that you'll leave for good, then you don't come back. You keep that promise. Anything else is just goddamn rude."

_Did she just say that? _I thought, astonished. Her hands had turned into fists, still crossed tightly over her chest. The elephant cringed under her scowl, I was sure. She stomped her foot again in frustration, as if she wanted to crush and kill it with her heel.

I walked over to her, and knelt down on the floor between her legs.

"You wont have to see him again," I said quietly. Her eyes jerked up to meet mine, and she seemed almost surprised that I'd been so straightforward. Maybe she'd expected me to speak in riddles too. Or maybe she hadn't expected me to say anything at all. "You wont," I promised her anyway.

In the back of my mind, I remembered Cullen's request. Mr. Sparklepants had _requested _to see her. Or he would come back for her. What a lame threat. He knew very well if he crossed that line again, we wouldn't hesitate to rip his head off. In fact, we'd be glad to. It would almost be a shame if he didn't try, if he deprived us the pleasure of leechripping. Not that it normally was a pleasure, but I'd make an exception for him.

Bella was studying my face.

"What?" she wondered after half a minute. Her eyes were tight.

"What?" I retorted.

"What are you not telling me?"

Too late, I realized maybe some of my bitterness must be showing on my face. I tried to smooth it out in an innocent look, which of course didn't fool anyone. Her eyes tightened some more.

I pursed my lips, but there was no way she'd ever let it go. She had that stubborn, set expression on her face that I knew all too well; she wasn't going to let this pass. _Fine. _I moved up from my position on the floor, to sit beside her on the couch. I rested my elbows on my knees, staring at the floor, all the while feeling her gaze on me. _Fine_. I let out a heavy breath and moved one hand up to rub my forehead hard. Then I said the words I'd wished I wouldn't have to say.

"He wanted to see you tomorrow. He said he would be waiting by the border."

The atmosphere in the room changed immediately. Bella turned all rigid beside me, her eyes widening. I could hear her heartbeat speed up into a full race. I continued to stare at the floor. Never once did I look up to gauge her reaction, but I didn't have to. I knew her. Her heartbeat was thundering in my ears, her breaths shallow with surprise. I could clearly imagine the look of disbelief and shock on her face. It was like I could hear every little thought going on inside her head. I hesitated for one second, before I blurted it all out.

"You don't have to go there. I won't let him hurt you. You don't have to, Bella. You shouldn't go. Please don't go."

Please, let her say she wouldn't go. I couldn't let her go. It was dangerous. I didn't want her to go. If only he could stay away and leave us alone.

The room was silent for a very long time. I could hear the curtains brush against the wall from the breeze through the open kitchen window.

Then I felt smooth, soft hands wrapped around my neck. Her hands against my neck pulled me down towards her, and she pressed her lips lightly to mine. I lost every strength in my whole body when she did that, and I realized I had been tensing myself for her reaction. But now, every muscle fell slack. She kept kissing me, and she didn't stop until she felt my response. When I finally succumbed and responded to her kiss, she didn't stop. She deepened it, and her lips felt suddenly very fierce against mine. There was fire, and her lips were burning. Her hands moved to my neck, her fingers threading through my hair. My stomach started tingling, and I realized my hands were already wrapping around her waist to pull her closer. It felt like I hadn't kissed her in a lifetime, and for a second all agitation and anger and confusion drained from my body. We moved back in time, to the time before all this shit came to pollute and ruin everything around us. Her breaths were speeding up, as were mine, and her lips were warm and soft and familiar. When she pulled back, her eyes found mine, and for a moment I reeled in the feeling that we were going to be all right after all, that we were finally on the same page.

Until she burst out crying, that is.

I remember thinking once, on this very couch actually, how much it must suck if Bella started to cry after I kissed her. And now when she did, it did suck a little, I'll admit. But not really that much, considering I knew this was not because my kissing was poor. These tears probably weren't about me at all. Which implied they were about someone else, ahem, which yeah. Sucked a little.

Tears started to stream silently down her face, and she buried her face in her hands. She started stuttering, and I was able to catch the phrases "so confusing", "not fair", "stupid", "he promised", "why?" and "just mean". And then she stomped her foot in frustration again.

Her forehead bumped against my shoulder, and I pulled her closer as her tears continued to drip down my neck. She continued her mutterings and incoherent mumblings, reminding me oddly of Charlie. And even though I hated that she was crying, it was a huge relief to see she wasn't just buckling under and swooning all over the Return of the Glitterdouche. She actually seemed quite a bit annoyed, which she had every reason to be. Maybe after coming over the first shock of seeing him in the forest, her mind was starting to catch up. It somehow eased the burn in my stomach to know that. I started chuckling, amused, when I thought I heard her mutter something suspiciously similar to "punch him in the face and see how it hurts."

That's my girl.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," I murmured into her ear. "You'll just end up breaking your wrist and it wont be worth it. Though I can't blame you for wanting to."

Bella responded by hitting _my_ chest with her fist (I probably wouldn't have noticed if I didn't actually see her do it), burying her nose down my neck and sobbing some more. I automatically started rubbing her back, not knowing what to say. Maybe there was enough said for one day.

After a few moments her sobs stilled some, and her shaking stopped. She had closed her eyes, the tear tracks on her face still wet. She still had a frown on her forehead, but she seemed too exhausted to muster up anything else. I felt bad for her as I gently touched the square band aid on the side of her head. This was about a ton more than anyone should have to handle in a day, and especially someone so small. I inhaled her scent, relished in the fact that she was still in one piece, and felt my eyelids drop.

When the darkness was pressing against the living room windows and Bella was in danger of falling asleep on my shoulder, we stumbled to bed both exhausted and unable to make out much more coherent thoughts. She draped herself over my chest as if needing the heat, and I held her there. I was too tired and too emotionally exhausted to even form a sentence. Instead I tucked her head under my chin and let her rest into my neck. She fell asleep almost the same second her eyes closed. It took me a little longer, but not very. We lay like this the whole night through, never moving from our current position. She didn't move away from me. Which was good, because I don't think I would've let her.

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_A.N: Thanks for leaving me reviews. I am still going to shamelessly bribe you with spoilers, if you leave me another. _


	19. Bull

** Bull**

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When I woke the next day, I felt far from rested. It was as if I hadn't slept at all, just closed my eyes and then opened them. Bella was still asleep, but not deeply. There was a slight frown on her forehead that told me she had slept restlessly, and I suspected it had been there all night. The whole bed smelled simply of Bella, so much I couldn't even recognize the protruding scent of fabric softener. I let my fingers brush over her neck. Her skin was a little clammy from the heat. I traced my hand down her shoulders as I waited for her to wake, absentmindedly playing with the straps of her top.

After a while she let out a sigh, and I knew she was about to wake. She always did that before she woke up. When she opened her eyes, her eyes found mine immediately. There was no confusion in her face, and I knew she remembered what happened yesterday just as vividly as I did. She was still draped over my chest, just as she had been last night. I looked down at her, and she looked up at me. I wondered what she was thinking. Was she thinking about yesterday? About Cullen? Or about the prospect of possibly having to meet him today? I didn't know what to say. I had a feeling whatever I said right now would just turn out wrong. Now was really not the time for me to screw up and say something stupid.

Bella drew a deep breath, and then started to shift her position. For a second I thought she was shifting to get down and away from me, but instead she moved closer. With no hesitation or second thoughts she leaned forward and the next thing I knew her lips were on mine. My heart thumped irregularly. I hadn't expected her to kiss me, but I was happy she did. The surprise made me unable to respond for a second, but I welcomed it gladly. I might not know what to say, but this I knew.

I wrapped my arms around her waist automatically, and possessively pulled her closer. Her lips were moist, soft and cold. I felt her tiny hands slide up to my shoulders, encircling my neck. I pressed my fingers into her back, letting my fingertips slide under the cotton of her top. A jolt of electricity ran through my whole body by the feel of her bare skin.

As the kiss went on, the air between us shifted. It filled with both abandon and promises, and right now nothing else mattered to me than her. It was just her and me, and for a precious moment everything else was long forgotten. She started ravaging my mouth, effectively making my brain go numb like she always did. Her hands started to wander up my naked chest, each movement giving me another jolt of electricity. When her lips broke contact with mine for her to take a deep, ragged breath, I only continued to kiss my way down her jaw. I reached her ear, and she shivered. I planted open mouthed kisses along her neck, and she shivered again. I did that. I made her do that. Me. The world swirled. I had to remind myself how to breathe.

I lifted my mouth from her neck, and she pulled back to look at me. When her eyes discovered my face, one side of her lips lifted into a smile. She was smiling at my expression, which must be the dorkiest in history right now. At least it felt like that. I didn't care. I took a deep breath, trying to get my brain back in control.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, not making sense at all. She rested her chin on my chest and peeked up at me through her lashes. Her breath tickled my neck. Man, she was perfect.

"For what?" I frowned and looked down at her. An apology didn't make sense after a kiss like that. Honestly, nothing made sense inside my head right now. It felt like it was completely drained from blood. Which it probably was, too.

Bella swallowed and looked down for a second before she responded. "Sorry for crying my eyes out all over you last night."

I frowned again, before I chuckled a little at the absurdity of her words. "Bella. You really have to stop apologizing for things that aren't your fault."

She sent me another weak smile, and then she sighed. I watched as her face turned serious, her lips turning down and eyes becoming sad. Slowly, my own at the moment exceptionally slow brain started to sober up too. As the frown returned to her face, also did the reality of today.

"Crack a smile for me, will you?" I said, poking the corner of her lips upwards with my thumb. If she couldn't smile on her own, I'd help her. It worked, and she smiled just a little bit. It didn't last long though, before her face turned sad again. She looked away, her eyes turning blank as her mind started to wander to less pleasant places. I could only guess where. It was like a little piece of perfect, escaping in the reality of daylight. The more tempting it was, the more unreachable, the more uneasy I was beginning to feel now. After the recent events, that perfect place seemed more unreachable than ever. I sighed as I remembered what day it was today. Douche Day. Fantastic.

"Stay with me today," I said, my voice coming out in a whisper. _Please don't go see him._

Her eyes met mine, and she studied my face. I had no idea what she saw there. After a few moments she stretched forward to brush her lips lightly against my cheek. Then she got up from my chest, crawled over me and left to go to the bathroom.

She didn't reply.

We both got up and got dressed. It was a quiet day. It was still early, at least according to my normal Sunday schedule. I had to remind Bella over and over again not to do anything unnecessary, but she didn't listen to me. She buzzed around like always, making me sick with worry. I think her concussion hurt more than she was letting me know though. Not once did we mention anything to do with any leech, but I knew her. She was thinking. Speculating. Brooding. No doubt about things she shouldn't.

Outside, the sky was covered with gloomy clouds, almost as if someone up there was mocking me by letting me know today's prospects weren't good.

After watching me eat breakfast (man, I was hungry), nibbling a little on a piece of bread and not saying much, she settled on the couch in the living room.

"Really, Jake, it's not so bad. I'm much better," she mumbled, when I asked her how she was for the fiftieth time. She sounded sleepy. Which was weird since we'd just got up, but again not really. One night of restless sleep wasn't much to a tired head. She laid her head down on the closest cushion and curled her legs up under her in a tight ball like she always did. "Really, I'm much better..."

Her voice drifted off and she closed her eyes. I sat in front of her on the floor, leaning my head back against her legs. I felt her fingers brush against my hand, and soon after she fell asleep. Maybe if Bella slept the whole day through, Mr Douche would surrender and go hide in a dark hole. _Yeah, you wish, _I told myself. At least he wasn't here now. Hopefully he _was _faraway hiding in some dark nasty place.

I shifted a little as I sat on the floor, and felt something bulky against my thigh. After a quick search through my pocket, my hand came back with a lighter. Oh, right. From yesterday. Absentmindedly I started flipping it around in my hand, while listening to Bella's heartbeats and wishing that the world could just freeze and we could stay like this forever.

Bella didn't sleep for long. She woke slowly, slumbering for a few minutes before she stretched and moved closer to me. When she opened her eyes, she moved one hand to my neck, gently stroking her fingertips up and down. It felt good.

"Jake," she said simply. I glanced up at her. She was still resting her head on the cushion, looking at me with thoughtful, warm eyes. That single word meant the world to me. It felt so good to hear her say my name, _that _way. The loving way. It felt like years since last time.

"What?" she wondered looking puzzled. I realized I was grinning from ear to ear.

I shook my head slightly and reduced my grin to a more suitable smile. "I just like it when you say my name. That's all."

We looked at each other for a few seconds, until something in the corner of her eye caught her attention. Her eyes widened slightly.

"Since when did you started smoking?" she asked, puzzled. I looked down, and found her staring at the lighter I was still holding in my hand. Err. Crap.

"I didn't, " I said quickly. Right. How to put this? "It's...ahh...it's not for cigarettes."

"Oh," was all she said. I turned back to look at her. She looked a little sick. Was it because of the prospect itself, or because she knew there were more than one vamp I would be glad to put on fire? Maybe both. Right now there were plenty leeches I'd like to burn to ashes.

Her hand on my neck had stilled for a second, but now she started stroking again. Slowly, thoughtfully. Her expression had turned serious. Maybe I'd reminded her today was Cullen-day. Cullensullen. Doucheface.

Bella's expression was somber now. Resolute. Stubborn. My heart sank a little. Yep, today's prospects were probably covered in dark clouds. I felt my face harden along with hers, and I knew that she knew that I knew. The air between us turned a little thick.

"I have to go see him, Jacob," she said, keeping her eyes on me to measure my reaction. I had suspected she would say that. Bella continued. "I need to know why he's here. I need to close this. He's probably just here to say goodbye, but I need to know. I need to find out what he wants."

She tore her eyes away from mine, and turned to scowl at the table. "He needs to explain himself," she muttered, more to herself than me. "He has no reason to be here. He _promised."_

I felt frozen as I listened to her words. I had no idea how I could prevent her from going, how I was supposed to change her mind. I couldn't open my mouth to form the words I desperately needed to convince her. I didn't know how. Bella turned back to look at me, and as she took in my expression her face softened slightly. She lifted one hand from my neck to wipe it over my cheek.

"But I will come back," she said quietly.

_Yeah, that's real soothing. As if the alternative was that I'd never see you again. _

She continued. "If I'm ever going to be able to let this go, I have to talk to him. I need to put it behind me. I'm going to say goodbye. Why is that so bad?" Her voice wasn't accusing in any way, just mild and kind. She honestly didn't understand.

I sighed inwards. Oh, Bella. So naive.

"He wont just be saying goodbye," I told her regretfully. I knew I wouldn't get anywhere trying to explain to her that vampires were dangerous. She trusted those leeches like they were her own family. If I said that, she would only explode in my face and take off no matter what. She was just that stubborn. And Cullen would be waiting with open arms, plain tickets to Utopia and a romantic trip to the point of no return. No, I had to have another approach. It was all true, so it didn't matter what I went for.

"What do you mean by that?" Bella frowned, her voice confused.

I tightened my lips. "Come on, Bells. He hasn't come all the way here only to say goodbye."

Her eyes narrowed. "There is nothing else to say. He doesn't want anything to do with me, he made that very clear before. This is just a pity call."

I didn't reply. I didn't know how to make her understand, and maybe she couldn't. She was fully convinced the leech had left because he didn't love her, because she hadn't been good enough. I didn't know why he left any more than she did, I was only glad he had. But it was certainly not because she wasn't _good enough. _She was a thousand times better than him.

I also knew he was not only here to say goodbye. I just knew it, deep down in my gut I knew it. He wanted something from her, I was sure about that. I just didn't know how to make her see. Maybe she just had to find out for herself. _And then it will be too late, _the little mental voice in my head noted. I shut it out.

"We will just say goodbye, that's all," Bella continued, her voice turning soft again. Her eyes turned pleading, and there was a raw honesty to her next words. "I need this. He's giving me an opportunity to move on, to explain. I need to talk to him to put this completely behind me, Jake." She caressed my cheek with her hand, as if to smooth the stab of her words. But it was no stab to me, I knew all this already. I knew she had cared for him. I knew she needed an explanation. I could understand that. What made it sting was that she was wrong. Sure, he'd give her the opportunity to move on – with _him. _And Bella didn't get that.

"Bella, don't you see? He will just try to persuade you. Make you come back to him."

"He wont try to persuade me," she said confidently. "It's not like that."

"Sure. And the moon is made of cheese and I can knot my tail." I couldn't help the sarcasm from sneaking into my voice. "Come on, Bella!"  
She removed her hand from my cheek and sat up then, suddenly angry. "Cut it out, Jacob! It's not like that. You should for once trust me on this. And you don't have to act so defensive, I wont get back _together with him._" She spat the last three words like if they burned her tongue. "I've told you this before. It's not like that."

"Bella!" I said back, raising my voice slightly without being aware of it. "Don't you see what he's trying to do? You can't go. You can't."

"Don't start telling me what I can or can't do, Jacob," she said angrily. She got up from the couch, and almost fell when she lost her balance. I got up too, and caught her before she could fall. When I looked at her, her expression was defiant. "I'll just go now. And get this over with. I can drive myself."

"At least let me come with you."

"I need to go alone. This is between him and me."

"No, Bella. No." My throat felt suddenly very dry. I clutched her arm tighter, holding her back. Her eyes flickered to my grip on her arm, and her eyes narrowed.

"Let go," she whispered.

"Bells," I said again, pleading this time. "Don't." My voice broke at the last word. Her eyes returned to my face and softened as she took me in.

"Don't worry so much, Jake," she said, mimicking the words I always used about her. She was normally the one to worry. "I wont be long, a few hours at the most."

"Don't go." It was all I could say. My voice still sounded funny. My eyes searched hers, pleading her to stay here with me. She smiled then, and lifted her hand to stroke down my cheek.

She leaned in and pressed her lips to mine, her eyes closed. She kissed me firmly, deeply, and it almost made me stagger. There was a strange feeling of desperation in it, but maybe that was from me. When she pulled back, I followed, not willing to stop. My grip around her tightened. She couldn't go. She couldn't.

"I wont be long," she said.

I felt her fingers brush against my grip on her arm. Softly, lightly. It didn't ease my grip.

"Let go, Jake," she said again, a little more sternly than before.

My grip on her melted like snow through warm fingers. And then, without problem she eased out of my hand and walked out the door. I was left standing alone in the living room.

I don't know how long I stared at the empty doorway. I heard her car rumble to life, felt her leave. Still, I kept my stance. As if hoping she would turn and come back, miraculously appear through the door and say that she didn't mean it. That it was only an act of stubbornness and defiance. But she didn't come back.

"Wait," I said after her, too late.

She really had left. When I realized this, I felt myself slump back into the nearest chair. I wanted to run after her, force her to turn around, carry her inside, hold her down until she realized. But I couldn't do that. She had her own mind, how wrong she may be. If I did that, I would be no better than _him._

She really had left. She really had left. Over and over, it hit me. I felt a strange prickling in my nose, and there was a strange burning behind the sockets of my eyes. Somewhere above in the sky there was a vague rumble from distant thunder. Someone up there was definitely mocking me today. Not funny.

She would come back.

They found me like that.

"Jake, there you..." Embry's face faltered a little as he entered the doorway and he took me in.

"Hey, what's up with you, man?" Quil had followed close behind.

I didn't reply, just kept staring blankly in front of me. I would wait until she came back. She would come back.

Quil waved his hand in front of my eyes. "Earth to Jacob."

Embry had stopped in the middle of the floor, and I could hear his brain as it started working.

"Where's Bella?" he wanted to know.

"She left..." I muttered.

Silence.

"...to go see the leech," I finished.

A few heartbeats past as they absorbed this. Then Embry slumped down in the chair opposite me. "Man."

Quil, on the other hand, jumped to his feet. "What? You let her do that? What if he bites her?"

"It crossed my mind," I admitted, still defeated. He could do that, to make sure he took her away from me completely. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was still waiting for a scream that would allow me to come and get her back.

Quil's thoughts were almost sync with mine. "Well, go get her then!"

"But I can't!" I moaned, slamming my head against the headrest on the chair. "If she _wants _to meet him, I can't _force _her to stay! I can't start telling her what she's not allowed to do."

That's what _he _would do_._ I could still remember how he'd grabbed her away from me when I spoke to her at her prom, even though she didn't seem to mind talking to me.

Quil slumped down in the chair next to mine, defeated too. "Yeah, I guess that would kill the mood a little."

I would so take a nice trip down memory lane next time I saw Cullen. A long, good trip. Starting with the first time Bella and I had sex. _The only time, moron, _a voice in my head mocked me. Funny. Even my own head was mocking me today. Great. Good thing I still had those memories then. I'd make sure he'd get a vivid show.

We sat in silence for a few seconds, all trying to think of a way out of this.

"Didn't she have a concussion?" Embry wondered.

I nodded.

"You could go and tell her it was worse than that, and that she have to go to the ER again," he tried. "That the doctor called, or whatever."

"Uh huh," I said, unconvinced. "That's a bit too convenient. Besides, Bella has the opposite of hypochondria. She always thinks she's fine, no matter what. She wont bite."

Another few seconds ticked by.

"If I hit you real hard..." Quil tried, frowning, "and you screamed real loud, she would perhaps come back on her own. When she heard you scream. To see what happened."

I snorted. "Yeah, and then what? I pretend to limp around for a few days? Tell her, _I'm _hurt? Come on, she's not stupid."

"Huh."

Another long silence.

"I still think you should go get her," Quil muttered.

"I know," I muttered back. I would like nothing else more. But I couldn't do that. There was nothing I could do.

We heard footsteps approach outside, but none of us looked up. I didn't care whoever entered. There was no way that was Bella; she was twice as loud and half as fast and would have stumbled five times crossing the lawn. These footsteps were way to fast and smooth. I heard the door swing open, and the footsteps stopped when they reached the doorway. I still didn't bother looking up. I didn't care.

Another few seconds ticked past.

"Well, this is one hell of a party isn't it. I thought I heard some cheers and singing. Good to see you're all having a good time."

Leah seemed amused as she took in the scene in front of her. I imagined how we must look, spread around in chairs as ruined balloons. As soon as they realized I had no intentions in explaining, Quil and Embry grabbed the task with passion.

"Bella left him," Quil told her solemnly.

"To go and see the leech," Embry chimed in.

"He's been sitting here since we got here."

"I thought he was crazy at first."

"And he doesn't want to go get her back, he's afraid she will get mad at him."

"We tried to help him out, but he doesn't want to."

"She left him."

"He's afraid she will get mad."

_Could they try to make me sound more like a wuss?_ But I didn't care. There was no point. I could only wait until she came back.

"Well, damn," was all Leah said after the flood of explanations stopped. She folded her arms and leaned back against the wall near the door, like she normally did.

Quil's head snapped up as he got an idea. "Hey, Leah! You could go get her! Go and bitch her around, tell her you need to talk to her. Or yell at her, whatever. That way she wouldn't get mad at Jacob, and let's face it she doesn't really like you much as it is. It couldn't hurt."

"Forget it," both Leah and I muttered at the same time. I was annoyed, Leah offended. Quil slumped back into his chair, straining to come up with another brilliant solution.

Leah shifted her wight from one leg to the other. "So she said she chose him, huh? I told you she would," she said plainly. Leave it to Leah to be this straight forward. Quil and Embry looked at me, not sure.

"Noo..." I dragged. "She said she'd come back."

Leah frowned. "She she didn't say she would leave, then?"

I squirmed in my seat. "No, not exactly."

Leah's frown deepened. "Then why did she go to see him?"

I didn't reply immediately. I could feel their eyes on me. "She said she would say goodbye to him."

Five seconds ticked by.

"Wooh!" Quil slammed his hand to his knee, relived. "Then why are you sitting like this? She's only telling the scum to beat it. I thought she'd left you for good." He shook his head, relieved.

"Then what's the problem, Jacob?" Embry was grinning too now. "She only left to tell him to piss off. She wasn't mad at you when she left, was she?"  
"Noo," I dragged again, thinking about how she'd kissed me just before she left. It was a real kiss, not just a peck on the cheek.

Embry measured my expression knowingly. "Good to hear. Problem's solved then." He too relaxed back into the chair.

I didn't reply. Their carefree attitudes didn't help, they just increased the worry I had that Cullen would persuade her somehow. Leah was standing silently by the door, studying my expression.

"Give her some credit, Jacob," she finally said. "You wont know until she comes back. No point in sitting around here moping."

"Look who's talking," Quil muttered, voicing the thought we'd all been thinking. Leah ignored his comment.

I slammed my head back into the headrest. This emotional roller coaster was wearing me out.

"Man" I moaned. "I just don't _get _her!"

Quil patted my shoulder. "Believe me, that sentence right there is nothing sort of original."  
Embry nodded in agreement. "You have no idea how many desperate guys have said that before you."

"I'm not desperate," I muttered.

Quil snorted. "Yeah right."

I ignored him. "But I just don't _get _ was so depressed over him, but she still wants to...And now she's..." My voice trailed away and I sighed heavily. "I just don't get it. Are all girls like this?"

"Probably," Quil muttered beside me.

Leah spread her arms out wide, making a clearly disapproval noise as if saying _Hey! I'm still here!_

The rest of us moaned in unison.

"You don't count," I muttered.

Leah crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes, for the first time clearly annoyed. "I guess I'm still not female enough for you."

We heard it then. The deep rumbling sound of a car. Heading this way, down the alley towards the house. Embry and Quil snapped up from their seats, heads towards the sound. Excited, they turned to me. But I just shook my head. No. That wasn't Bella's truck. I could recognize that roaring monster anywhere. And this wasn't it. No, this was another car. Another familiar car. The engine slightly rusty, barfing down the narrow roads.

And my day just turned worse.

I admit, I did consider jumping out the window and take a flee for it. But again, that wouldn't solve anything. So I stayed put, along with the faces of my confused, slightly uncomfortable friends.

The car rumbled to a stop outside the house. Two car doors slammed slut. Some muffling and fixing and more slamming, along with muffled jokes and laughter. One pair of footsteps approaching the house.

"Well, look at that! The house is still standing!" dad chuckled as the front door opened. "I never thought I'd live to see the day."

"Jake's a good kid," Charlie defended me, and I heard him close the door behind him before he started to wheel dad towards the living room. "He can be responsible when he wants to."

They entered the living room just then, both faces covered with smiles and cheers and just-had-the-best-experience-of-our-lives expressions. Home from the game of their lives, I'm sure.

"Hey there!" Charlie cheered when he noticed us. "How are you kids hanging on?"

"So you're home, huh?" dad grinned. "I'd expected you to be out cherishing these days free from your old man."

Dad must have noticed my expression then, because his grin turned to a slightly guarded frown. I tried to wipe out whatever expression was on my face, to act as nothing. I didn't quite make it. Besides, my dad always knew it all. There was no point in hiding anything from him. His eyes didn't sweep the room to look at the others, he just kept his eyes on me, still frowning slightly. I had no idea what conclusions he must be making in his mind, but he definitely knew something was off.

Charlie was totally oblivious.

"I'll tell you Jacob, you are going to regret you weren't there." He wheeled dad further into the room, and stepped inside so he could drop a bag to the floor. "Did you see the show on air last night?" he chuckled. "Or I guess Bella might have vetoed you on that, huh. Never much fond of sports, were you, kiddo?"

His eyes swept over the room, searching for his daughter. Instead of his daughter, he found the expressions on everyone else. Leah, feeling a little out of place next to the door. Quil, his face both speculative and curious. Embry, who's face was unsure and slightly guilty, constantly sneaking glances over at me. And finally, Charlies eyes met mine. As he took in my expression (whatever _that _may be, I had no idea) his smile slowly faltered and settled into a suspicious frown. His eyes tightened, as he seemed to realize the tense atmosphere in the room they'd just entered. He was no longer Charlie now, not even Chief Swan. He was the bull before it entered the arena. Prepared for fight. His eyes swept the room again, searching. I knew what he would ask the moment before he did.

"Where is Bella?"


	20. Residence Evil

_A.N:_

_H__umongeous thanks to JJTwi1light and to kallmecrazy for cleaning up my typos and betaing this story. Also, __thank you to all who reviewed and to you who I can't reply to in person. It's great to get your opinion on things._

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**Residence Evil.**

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There was no sound coming from the kitchen apart from the pacing of Charlie's feet. His shoes had an annoying creaking that never seemed to stop. I didn't mind it any more though; my brain was too overwhelmed by now. He'd paced back and forth in the kitchen non stop for twenty minutes, and he didn't seem to tire of it.

I was placed in a chair in the corner of the kitchen. I wondered several times if this was a coincidence, or if it was on purpose. Sometimes I felt like I was on trial. Dad was sitting silently on the other side of the table, deep in thought. Charlie was pacing. His face was still red. Quil, Embry and Leah had left. Lucky bastards.

I thought back to about one hour ago, when I regretfully had to explain to Charlie where his daughter was.

_"You see, she's not here."_

_"I can see that," Charlie boomed. "Now where is she?"_

_"I don't know exactly where she is."_

_She could be over at Cullen's place for all I knew. Or still at the borderline. I really didn't know, and it made me shrink. What if she needed my help?_

_"Did you two have a fight or something?" His frown relaxed a little bit. He must think that surely, the situation couldn't be so bad._

_"Uhm. Not exactly."_

_"Then what?"_

_I drew a deep breath before I dropped the bomb. "Cullen came to visit yesterday."_

_A few seconds passed as he absorbed my words. And then he exploded. _

_About two minutes later he'd calmed down enough to be able to form words. "So what now? She went with him? Ran away?" Steam was literary flowing from his ears. I imagined it filling the whole house, setting off the smoke detectors._

_"Not exactly." At least I hoped she hadn't. "She... uh... fell. And passed out" I cast a quick glance to my dad, letting him know that no, Bella didn't just fall. He seemed to understand, and his frown deepened._

_Charlie didn't notice our silent exchange._

_"WHAT?" he yelled, his face starting to turn purple. The familiar vein started pumping on his forehead._

_"Don't worry, she's fine now," I tried to assure him. "I took her to the ER and she's gotten a concussion. She needs to rest, but otherwise she's unharmed."_

_"And Cullen?" Charlie spat. "What did he do?"_

_"He... uh... left." I noticed my dad's eyebrows furrow some more. "But he said he wanted to see Bella today, when she was feeling better."_

_"And...?" Charlie boomed, clenching and un-clenching his fists. He really needed me to spell it out for him, didn't he?_

_"And now she's gone to see him," I shared. "I asked her not to, but she insisted." I rested my arms on my knees and stared at the floor. I didn't want to meet their accusing eyes, and I didn't want them to see the pain in mine. But I didn't know how I could have handled the situation differently, I was still sure I couldn't have forced her to stay with me. I didn't know what else I could have done. I was lost._

Squeak squeak squeak. Charlie's shoes kept pacing back and fort in front of me. They got me back to the present and I snapped out of the situation. Instead I thought back to the scene about thirty minutes ago. Charlie had gone to borrow the phone in the living room and check if maybe Bella had gone back home, leaving me and dad alone in the kitchen.

_"Explain," dad had demanded._

_"I was off with the pack all day yesterday," I said, stumbling to get the words out before Charlie returned. "There was a trail, different than before. We thought we had her, the redhead leech. It was a trap. While we were away, she came here to get Bells. And she nearly had her too, the leech made her fall, hit her head against a rock..." I paused and was suddenly unable to continue._

_"And Cullen?" he rushed me._

_"He..." I hesitated, but then couldn't find a better word. "He saved Bella. From the other leech."_

_"The other one is dead?"_

_"No, she fled... I got there with the pack soon after, and... I mean, Bella was unconscious. And Cullen wouldn't leave, but we made him go. But he said he would wait for Bella at the border today, so that she could come and see him. And I had to tell her about it, I couldn't hide something like that from her. I didn't think she would go, but she did. But she shouldn't go. I shouldn't have..." My words almost didn't make any sense, they just blurted out of my mouth. It felt good letting it all out somehow. Dad would know what to do, he would understand._

_Dad put a hand on my shoulder, lightly, once. He was still frowning._

_"You did what you could," he said simply._

_I felt better immediately. Not much, just a little bit. Dad wheeled himself a few steps back when we heard Charlie return to the kitchen._

"Always so bloody stubborn," Charlie muttered over me, returning me to the present yet again. He was still walking back and forth in a never ending squeaking pace. He seemed completely lost in his own words, muttering ugly things about teenage boys and stubborn daughters. "Should have just tied her to a chair."

I sent him a doubtful look which he didn't see. Because just then, a rumbling roar of a monster vehicle appeared in the distance. My stomach turned again. She was coming back. She was coming back. Was she hurt? Had she given up on us? On me and her? I wouldn't let her do that, I couldn't.

I heard the rumble of the engine before they did, but when they did the reaction was unmistakable. Without a word, Charlie walked to stand in the hallway, arms crossed. Dad and I followed hesitantly. We heard the roaring come closer, and then stop outside. The slamming of a door. I wished I could talk to Bella, just for one second, to see if she was okay. To see her face when she looked at me, find out where we were. Or just warn her about what must be waiting, and the wrath of Charlie. Maybe she knew already. She must have seen her dad's car.

"Maybe I should...?" I tried to offer, but Charlie didn't let me finish. He silenced me with a scowl.

It took longer than normal for Bella to reach the house. She must have started to realize what might wait for her the moment she entered. I could hear her heart race. Then the door opened slowly, and there she was, peering inside. A wave of relief washed over me. She was safe, she wasn't hurt. She didn't limp, she didn't bleed. Physically, she was okay.

She smelled of vamp and her face was torn. Her eyes were a bit puffed and red, which made me wonder if she had been crying. Her eyes widened as they landed on her dad, taking in his more than tense posture. She opened her mouth, but closed it quickly. She seemed speechless. I needed to talk with her, alone. As if she'd heard me, her eyes flickered to mine and we both sent each other an apologetic look. I was apologetic because I'd just brought Charlie down on her. I didn't know why she was. My stomach knotted again, and I felt my expression harden.

Her eyes flickered back to Charlie. "Hi dad," she said weakly, barely making a sound.

Charlie huffed. "You come with me, young lady," he said, his voice stern. Bella swallowed as he grabbed her shoulder, and started shuffling her out the same way she'd just arrived. Her bewildered eyes landed on me, still huge and apologetic.

"_You fell_", I mouthed to her, unable to not help her out. She frowned at me, confused, as Charlie dragged her by the arm out the door. I quickly tapped two fingers to my temple. "_You fell."_

I knew she had some explaining to do, and it wouldn't help her if our stories weren't synchronized. I'd told Charlie she got a concussion by tripping, and it would only be best if she said the same thing. Realization dawned on her face just as the door slammed shut between us. A few seconds later, two car doors slammed loudly from outside, and the rusty engine roared to life. The sound of the car disappeared quickly as Charlie sped up, eager to get home and lock his daughter away from each and every male on the planet.

And then the house was quiet again.

I sighed heavily and turned to the living room to slump down in the nearest seat. I felt like I'd done that a lot lately. Dad followed, wheeling himself to sit in front of the table opposite me.

"Now," he finally said. "Tell me everything that happened while we were away."

I did. Well, almost. I didn't tell him about Friday, when Leah came over and was rude. I didn't tell him about my conversation with Seth later on. I didn't tell him that Bella had slept in my room, my bed, and that she had in fact slept with me. I didn't tell him about the following morning, that she had finally realized she wanted me as more than a friend. I didn't tell him anything of that. But pretty much told him everything else. He only interrupted once; when I briefly explained that Cullen had left yesterday when he realized he had no choice.

"Did you fight?" dad wanted to know, for the first time looking concerned. His gaze danced over me quickly, even though he knew very well any damage I might have had would have been healed by now.

"No," I told him regretfully. "But I wish we did."

He didn't interrupt while I told him the rest, how her head hurt and that we went to the ER. And then I told him quickly, in short sentenced that today she had wanted to go and talk to Cullen, and then done so.

Dad leaned back when I finished talking. He sat in front of me, seemingly in deep thought for a few minutes.

"How are you, son?" he finally asked.

I just shrugged. I didn't really think I could explain it. Dad fell back into deep thought.

"About Cullen," he wondered after a while. His voice was unusually low and mild. "Did Bella... say anything?"

I knew what he meant. He was just trying to be subtle about it, letting me off the hook if I didn't want to answer. Or maybe he honestly didn't know how to put it. _So, will she be leaving you for the vampire, son?_

I shook my head. "I haven't spoken with her yet." And the answer was no, she would not. I wouldn't let her.

We sat in another long silence. Dad was still frowning, deep in thought. I suddenly felt a little guilty for killing his good mood so thoroughly. He'd been so happy just hours ago, on his way home with Charlie after the game of his life.

"So, you enjoyed the game?" I asked awkwardly. My voice sounded a little funny, it didn't flow out of my mouth the way it normally did. It was very obvious that I was trying to change the subject.

He smiled at my efforts. "Sure, son, it was great. Don't worry about it." He turned to wheel towards the kitchen, returning to our former subject with ease. "Just let things calm down. It will all work out in the end. It always does."

I really wanted to believe him.

"I need to go and see her," I said after him.

Dad nodded slightly, and paused to look at me with pondering eyes.

"Wait a few hours, son. Let things settle first. Charlie is pretty out of it."

_No kidding._

Dad turned back and disappeared into the kitchen to start making dinner.

* * *

Charlie called my dad three times. Two times to check if dad had seen anything, heard anything. If there was a sign of Cullen somewhere. He made it sound like Cullen was a hunted criminal, just escaped from prison. Each time, dad sighed a no, he hadn't heard anything. Then he asked how Bella was, and received some grumbling and a bye in return. The third time Charlie called, he wanted to know if there had been trouble with "that Cullen chap" around La Push before, because now was the time to tell. It seemed like he was looking for a reason to lawfully kick his ass. Dad sighed again and shook his head.

I waited until it got dark. Dad was the one to give me the green light.

"Okay, that's it," he said, when he'd finally gone tired of the tapping sound from my bouncing knees. "Charlie should have calmed down a bit by now. I'm sure you can go and talk with her."

I was up on my feet before he'd finished his sentence.

Dad sighed. "I better call him. Let him know you're on the way. He'll probably be sleeping in front of the door with the gun on his stomach tonight, and I don't want any accidents."

"Sure," I mumbled back, not really aware of what he was saying. I was already out in the hallway on my way out. "See ya."

"Come back tomorrow at least, then," he called after me, already suspecting I might not come back tonight.

I drove over to her house as fast as I could. When I approached the familiar house and parked on the side of the road, I wondered where Cullen was now. Was he home in his dark hole? Or was he lurking around in the forest? At least he would not come in through her window tonight. Hah. No more. Not while I was on guard. I'd rip his head off in the process if he tried.

Charlie was on red alert. He tore the door open, nearly ripping it of the hinges before I'd even lifted my hand to knock. On his face was a look that could kill. The bull was out again. In the arena this time, prepared to kill anyone who approached.

"Oh," he said when he saw me, the anger in his eyes slowly fading. Apparently, it wasn't me who was waiving the red cloth. "It's you." His shoulders slumped and he stepped aside to let me in. Another time, another day, I would have laughed at this anticlimactic greeting. But not today. This shitty day wasn't over yet.

"She's upstairs," Charlie muttered before I could even ask.

I walked up the stairs, carefully placing my foot on each and every step. Suddenly I was in no rush to get there.

The door to Bella's room wasn't completely closed. I raised my hand and knocked lightly, letting it swing open as I did. Bella was sitting in bed, her arms curled up tightly around her knees. Neither she or the room smelled of leech. She had been showering then, after the stink-visit. How considerate. I walked in, and closed the door behind me. She looked up at me as I hesitated by the door, but didn't seem surprised to see me. She must have known I would come to see her sometime today, no matter what.

We stared at each other for a few moments.

"He wasn't here only to say goodbye was he?" I asked her quietly.

She turned to stare at her feet, avoiding my gaze. "No. He wasn't," she finally admitted.

Her eyes were red, her cheeks puffy and moist from fresh tears. She had been crying again, then. For who? Me, or him? I wouldn't wait to find out.

"Will you stay?" I asked, cutting straight to the point. My voice turned hard on its own again.

She knew what I meant. "Yes." she whispered.

Still, I was not satisfied. "Will he leave?"

She didn't answer. Her bottom lip started shaking. Was that answer enough?

"So you're just going back to the way everything was before?" I spat, my heart breaking into tiny little pieces.

She shook her head. "No, I'm staying. If you want me."

If she'd only stopped there, if she'd only stopped there. But no. She just _had _to continue. "But he's staying too. Until Victoria is caught. He feels like this is his fault."

"It is," I snarled. Of course this was his fault! Everything was his fault. Still, I knew there was something she didn't tell me. I could see it in her eyes.

"Is it going to be just like before? With you two?" I pressed. I had a feeling there was a huge "_but_" waiting for me somewhere around the corner. She _would _be spelling this out for me. Everything on the table.

Bella's lips quivered again. "It's not...we're – we're not... like before."

A sob escaped her lips and then another one. Tears started streaming down her face, and her breaths heaved uncontrollably. She looked exactly like I felt. My resistance crumbled then, and in one long stride I was sitting on the bed and she was crying uncontrollable against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her shaking frame and pulled her closer. I was barely managing my own panic right now.

"He said..." Bella sobbed, drenching my t-shirt. "He says he left because he loved me."

I froze. This was the_"but"_I had been waiting for. Bella continued, her breaths becoming more ragged.

"He says he left because he wanted me to have chance at a normal life. He says he still loves me, that he always did. When he said he didn't, he lied."

I knew it. I knew he would come back and steal her away from me. I was dreading this. The nightmare was suddenly very real and all too vivid.

Bella's sobs increased. "He says he was in pain... without me. That he came back because he couldn't stand it, not knowing how I was. He said he had to see me, had to hear my voice, or he said he would go mad. So he called, trying to pretend he was Carlisle, just to ease it for me. But when he heard my voice, he couldn't stand it. He tried to stay away, he said, for my own good. But he couldn't."

My eyes burnt. This was it, then. The leech had finally managed to ruin my life and take away the girl that meant more to me than anything. Bella continued, her sobs turning hysterical.

"But I... I don't know what to do... because I– I can't...hurt him...more. I can't hurt him like this."

"Bella," my voice was dry. It was all I could manage to say right now. Maybe ever.

"But I don't...I can't...love him," Bella rambled, fisting my t-shirt in her hand. "Not like before. Not like... not like...no." She sounded almost angry, like if she was angry with him. Or maybe she was angry that she didn't feel the same. This made _me _angry at first, until I realized what she was saying.

"Wait. You don't...You're not going back to him?"

She pushed away, looking at me with watery eyes.

"How can I?" she said weakly. "I don't... I don't feel what I did. It's not the same. I don't know what is real anymore. It's you who... But I can't hurt him that way either."

Was it hope? That light inside? Or was I delusional?

"Will you stay with me?" I asked her quietly. My voice was surprisingly steady. On the inside, I was the complete opposite.

"Yes," she whispered. She didn't get to say anything else after that, because the next second I was kissing her, forcefully and desperately, but absolutely necessary. She kissed me back, gripping my shoulders to keep her balance. Our noses bumped and her breath tickled my cheek and it was just like it should be. I felt the stress slowly drain from my body, leaving me feeling like a ten year old kid_._I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist, and she stayed there. As she would for a very long time.

After a while, I pulled away from her to look at her face. Her eyes were still watery as she looked up at me, but her cheeks were dry. Her whole face was flushed and red and tired from crying more than her fair share today. It didn't look like she was up for much else than sleep.

I put my hand on her cheek and stroke my thumb over her cheekbone. She leaned into my palm then, and closed her eyes as if she enjoyed my touch. Just that tiny acknowledgment was enough to make smile. I was sick to the core when I thought about him trying to persuade her, sick and jealous and nauseatingly angry. But still I couldn't blame any of this mess on her. This wasn't her fault; she wasn't the one who invited the leech over for tea. And despite him showing up, she was here with me now. I thought about what she'd been through the last two days. The redhead, Cullen, a concussion, more Cullen and Charlie. No wonder she seemed exhausted.

I moved to sit further up on the bed so that I could lean against the wall. I tugged her hand lightly, wanting her to follow, and she did. She stretched her legs out from their tight curled up position, and came to sit beside me bringing the blanket with her. Of course. She was a sucker for those blankets. She rested her head on my shoulder as I wrapped my arms around her tiny frame to bring her closer. Right now I was only happy that she was safe, in one piece, and with me.

"How's the head?" I asked her somberly, lightly brushing the side of her head with my fingertips.

"Not so bad now," Bella said, rubbing her cheek once against my t- shirt. "It's much better. As long as I sit still."

"Good," I said. "Then you should stay still for a few days."

"I have school tomorrow," she reminded me.

"It can't hurt if you skip one day, Bells. Charlie will understand."

She turned her head slightly to peek at me. She hesitated at first, before she finally spoke. "Do you say this because you think Edward is going to be there and you don't want me to meet him?"

Her voice was low and even, and her question took me completely off guard. I hadn't even thought of that. He surely wouldn't come to her school, would he? He wasn't _back, _like, for good? He couldn't be.

"No," I told her with feeling, my voice just a little too loud. "I really just want you to get better, Bella."

Bella sighed and rested her cheek back against my chest. "I know, Jake. Sorry."

"Don't apologize."

We sat in silence for a while. I was debating with myself if I should ask her about Cullen. Was he coming to her school again? Was he staying for good? He couldn't be. That was out of the question. I felt anger return to my veins, and struggled not to slip back into the all too familiar angry-mode. I needed to know, but at the same time I didn't want to ruin this for once anger-free moment with her.

"Did I tell you I'm grounded?" Bella sighed. She said it in a exasperated tone, but I knew her well enough to hear the smile there. She was trying to loose the tension, in her own way.

"You are?"

"Mhm."

"For how long?"

"For life," she sighed again, and buried her face in my neck.

I laughed a little. "I'm sure Charlie will let you out by the time you're thirty."

"I'm not so sure," she muttered against my t-shirt. She rested her fingers over my upper arm, her tiny hand not even reaching half way around.

"He was that angry, huh?" I asked her quietly.

She exhaled, "Yeah. I'm surprised he even let you in. He's been yelling at me about the extreme danger of meeting 'boys you can't trust' without letting anyone know where I was."

I had to agree with Charlie on that one, but I knew better than to tell her right now.

"He's not really angry with _you, _you know," I told her quietly. I was sure Charlie would yell at pretty much anyone at the moment, even the nice, old, neighboring lady with twelve cats and a hip-replacement.

Bella sighed. "I know." She rubbed her cheek against my t-shirt again, as if hoping she could disappear into it completely. The thought made me feel a bit better.

"You've been crying," I stated. I brushed my fingers down her hair when she didn't reply immediately, and she sneaked an arm around my waist as if needing support. I waited for about a whole minute, but she didn't say anything in response.

"You need to tell me what's going on," I said quietly. "Please."

Bella sighed, and tightened her grip around me as if she wanted me to disappear with her. I continued to stroke her hair while she gathered her thoughts to be able to answer. When she finally spoke, her voice was low and breathless.

"He was waiting at the border. We talked. He... he took me to their house. The old one. To meet the rest of them."

I tensed. _The rest of them. _No wonder she was out of it. She had just been sucked into Residence Evil. She must have felt me stiffen, because she continued before I could interrupt. "Yes, they are here too. All of them. They are here to look after me, as long as it is needed."

Maybe she could sense my disagreement; they weren't needed, on the contrary. I would protect Bella. She was safer without them. "Until Victoria is caught," she hurried to say, rephrasing her last sentence. I didn't interrupt, so she continued.

"I didn't realize how much I've missed them. His family. Carlisle, Alice, Emmett… They were like my family too, once. But it's not the same._They _are the same, of course–"

I snorted.

"–but it's not like before, with Edward."

Her voice cracked at his name, and suddenly I felt immensely aware of everything she was saying. I locked my limbs in place, barely daring to breathe. She continued as if nothing had happened, but I could hear the strain seeping into her voice.

"At first, I thought it was the same. When I saw him for the first time. It was such a rush of memories, of how it felt before. It all came back somehow."

Bella paused to draw another shaky breath, while I did my best not to let my limb-from-limb leech-ripping fantasies become true. At least not right now. She continued.

"But then after thinking about it, I got annoyed with him. He's just doing it all wrong. And today when we talked, when he explained... I suddenly felt angry with him. I don't know why, I just did. He just expects me to... He says he's so _sorry_, that he can't forgive himself for leaving like he did. And I feel so bad for him. But I'm angry too. I think I sort of yelled at him."

I turned to look at her, eyebrows raised. "You did?"

"Ugh, don't remind me. It was just before I started crying. It was horribly embarrassing." Her voice turned a little desperate now, and it sounded like she was choking on her words. "But I can't see him the way I used to. Before, he was flawless to me. Perfect. But now, it was like if I remember little things, things he said or did before, and I realize he's not that. I've never had to say no to him before. And it doesn't fit. I can't make it all fit. Everything is different. I think something's wrong with me."

Her voice faded out, the last words barely audible. I noticed she was clutching her chest again, the way she had before. The way she hadn't done in weeks, months. Gently, I grabbed her wrist in my hand and pulled her arm around me so she could squeeze me instead. She did, and I pulled her closer in an embrace. We were seriously a fucked up pair.

"Nothing is wrong with you," I said quietly. "It's everything else that's wrong."

"You're not wrong," she whispered, before she choked on her words again. "I'm so sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you this. I know you don't want to hear about him."

"I'm glad you told me." I said truthfully. It felt better to have her explain some of it, to know she wasn't completely swiped away. "But we can continue this some other time. I'll stay until Charlie kicks me out, and then I'll be outside. I won't leave you alone." I brushed my fingers down her hair again. "Go to sleep, Bells."

She did, sooner than I had expected her too. After a while, her quivering stopped, and her clutching arms relaxed a bit. I felt the tension drain from her body as she eased into sleep. She was still frowning, but at least she was getting some rest.

I leaned against the wall with her halfway draped over me, and stared thoughtfully out the window. It had turned even darker, and it was all quiet again now. I thought about what she'd just told me. About Cullen. Sometimes it seemed like if she wanted them to be like before, before she even knew me, and that stung. But at the same time, I was extremely pleased things weren't like before.

When he left her she'd been broken, but she'd come back. That took strength, and it had changed her. She was stronger now, more tough-skinned. She had a clearer view of things. She didn't see him as perfect now, because he wasn't. And now she could see that too. I was glad she didn't just fall back to him as if the past six months never happened. Even if none of this had let me know how she felt about _me,_where _we _were standing, at least she had ruled out running blindly back to him. If only she would stick to that, I would be happy.

Bella tightened her grip around me in her sleep, and her frown deepened. "Jake," she mumbled. Absentmindedly, I let my hand glide up and down her back in soothing movements. I tried to believe my dads words. It would all work out in the end.

I wondered what the pack was doing. They must be out running, all of them, I was sure. With this sudden invasion of vamps right on our doorstep, none of them were bound to relax. I also thought about the vamp that started all this, where he might be. Maybe he was back in his coffin, or maybe he was right here, watching the house. I wondered if he would have tried to enter her bedroom. He probably would, if I wasn't here. That would be out of the question. I would sit outside her window all night if necessary. I would stay, keep guard. If the leech tried to sneak up her window, I would know. I would stop him. I sat there, pondering, looking out the window for a long time.

When the alarm clock on the bedside table showed ten minutes to twelve, I heard Charlie climb the stairs. I guess he would come to kick me out – I'd already pressed my luck. He'd allowed me to stay longer than ever before, and I guess it was late. Bella was still asleep all over me, one arm still tightly wound around my waist. There was still a frown on her forehead, but at least she was asleep. I deeply hoped she would still be asleep when I eased away from her. As if she'd heard my thoughts, her arm around me tightened. I didn't know how that could come through though.

Charlie hesitated outside the closed door for what seemed like forever. Maybe he was trying to listen in, I had no idea. I heard him clear his throat a few times, before he raised his hand to knock. Short, sharp, three times.

"Bella?" he called gruffly, still not entering. Maybe he was frightened for what he would find when he did.

"She's asleep, Charlie," I said, loud enough for him to hear without waking her. There was a slight second pause before Charlie pushed the handle down and entered the room.

Charlie stood still, absorbing the scene in front of him. At first, I thought he would be angry to see me in the same bed as his daughter. But his eyes barely acknowledged me at all; they landed on Bella's puffy, red face, now relaxed into sleep.

He cleared his throat again. "I was actually about to ask you to leave, but..."

He hesitated, taking in the scene more clearly. Her arm, wrapped tightly around me, my t-shirt still damp with her tears. His eyes lingered on Bella's sleeping face and the frown still present there. Somehow he seemed to reach an inner decision without his own approval, and he sure as hell didn't look pleased about it. He stood still for a few moments, considering the best thing to do.

"I'll get you a pillow," he finally muttered and stalked back out.

I felt my eyebrows rise at this unexpected turn of events. I'd been sure this was my time to roll. He was probably just relieved he hadn't been there during the water works. Maybe he was frightened she was going to start crying again as soon as I left, and then didn't know what to do all alone without my supporting shoulder.

Charlie returned with a pillow, and threw it in my direction maybe a little more forcefully than the normal Charlie would do. I caught it with my free hand, still feeling the confused expression that was plastered on my face. Charlie paused for a second, and it looked as if he was about to say something. He must have changed his mind, because instead he sent me a glare that could only be described as daring. On his way out, he stopped only to open the door _wide_. He sent me another pointed look before he shuffled away down the hallway. In between his mutterings and grumbling, I could heard the phases "just friends", "dare" and "keep an eye on."

Hell, he just thought we were old friends. Just Jake and Bells, the sophomore and the senior. If he'd known I'd shared far more with Bella than a shoulder to cry on, he probably wouldn't have hesitated in kicking me out of the house head first. Not that it was a secret, not at all. But maybe this wasn't the best time to tell him.

He wasn't mad at _me_, I knew that. I guess he wasn't mad at _her _either. Nope, this was all directed at someone special, who thankfully wasn't around at the moment. At least I hoped not.

I stuffed the pillow under my head, and managed to slide down so that I was lying next to her. Bella mumbled something and tightened her arm again. The space here was a bit tight. I was used to sprawl on a double bed on my own, and now I had to share a one-man bed with Bells. I had to curl my legs up to fit, but it wasn't so bad. With her head tucked firmly under my chin, feeling her even breaths against my shoulder, I fell asleep.

* * *

__

A.N: You give me review, I give you spoiler ;)


	21. Worm

_A.N: Some of you wondered if I was going to write a chapter with Edward and Bella's meeting. I'll admit, I thought you were too much glitterdouchehaters to want that. One of the reasons I've decided not to, is because I feel that a lot of it would be things you've read before. I believe Edward would say many of the same things he said when he reappeared in New Moon, and I don't want it to be repetitive. Also I think it is possible to imagine at some extent what Bella was feeling. But, I am planning another Bpov in the nearest future, so hopefully that will clear up the parts that some might find confusing._

_Enough said, here is the next chapter (in Jacob's point of view):_

* * *

**Worm**

* * *

_I stuffed the pillow under my head, and managed to slide down so that I was lying next to her. Bella mumbled something and tightened her arm again. The space here was a bit tight. I was used to sprawl on a double bed on my own, and now I had to share a one-man bed with Bells. I had to curl my legs up to fit, but it wasn't so bad. With her head tucked firmly under my chin, feeling her even breaths against my shoulder, I fell asleep._

* * *

I didn't wake up with her head firmly tucked under my chin and sweet breaths against my shoulder. No. I woke with one foot on the floor, the other one sprawled out over Bella's feet pointing in the opposite direction. Both my arms were spread wide and my head was falling off the side, hanging down in an awkward, uncomfortable angle. A throaty, thick, sound was filling the room, and I realized it was me snoring. When I opened my eyes, Bella's room was all upside down. I shut my mouth quickly and lifted my head to get the world back in its proper place.

"Ouffh," I huffed, rubbing my neck. It felt like I'd just spent the night on a bed of nails. I wondered what Charlie's reaction would be if I got Bella a double bed for Christmas. Maybe I didn't want to find out.

Bella was still soundlessly asleep beside me. She'd curled her legs up into the familiar tight ball, but she wasn't clutching her chest now. One arm was resting under her head, and the other one was reaching out for me, just touching my side. I studied her sleeping face. She was the cutest sleeper I'd ever seen, and the frown on her forehead was all gone. She'd finally gotten some real sleep, which she needed.

I heard footsteps downstairs, and some clunking around in the kitchen. Charlie was up. If he'd slept at all. He had come to check on us twice during the night, maybe more. I'd heard him sneak down the hallway. Making sure I was the good dog I said I was. He wasn't around now, so apparently I'd been approved.

I felt Bella stir beside me, and then she yawned hugely. She blinked a few times as she opened her eyes, before she was able to take me in clearly. When her eyes finally focused on my face, a smile stretched across hers.

"Jacob," she mumbled, and her hand reached out to rest on my arm.

"Morning, Bells." I stroke my thumb over her soft cheek, smooth under my rougher skin. She closed her eyes by my touch, still smiling. She sighed a bit, and I was sure she was just about to dive back into sleep when her eyes shot open. In one fluttering, especially uncoordinated movement she scrambled herself up in a sitting position.

"Charlie!" she hissed. "Jacob, what are you doing here? You have to go before he sees you!"

She started to shove my chest, which was completely pointless and didn't make sense at all – the only thing she did was to push me deeper into the bed.

I put my hands around her wrists, trying to calm her.

"Charlie knows," I said, and couldn't help but chuckle a bit at her horrified expression. Did she really think Charlie wouldn't notice if I just didn't come back down last night? Especially right now? No way.

Her shoving stopped, and she looked at me with a bewildered expression. Her eyes bulged at first, but then they narrowed.

"He knows? Knows what, exactly?"

Come on. Did she think I'd stayed up all night talking quietly with Charlie about my newest relations with his daughter?

"Only that I'm staying here," I reassured her. "Look, he even brought me a pillow."

Her eyes were bulging again. "He didn't shoot you?"

"Nope," I said, popping the 'p'.

"Did he try?"

I shook my head, grinning.

She frowned. "Huh."

"Yeah, I wasn't expecting it either." I laughed a bit at her disgruntled expression, and she fell back against the pillow beside me. When her head hit the pillow, she winced.

"Still hurts?" I reached over to trace the side of her head with my hand.

"Better," she murmured.

She closed her eyes again, probably wishing she could fall back to sleep. The cruel light of day was shining through the annoying crack of the curtain, making sleep impossible as the sun illuminated the reality around us. It made me wish it could stay night forever. We lay in silence, prolonging the inevitable. She still had her eyes closed, and I stared absentmindedly up in the ceiling while listening to Charlie dining the table downstairs. I thought about everything she'd told me last night. It was all making sense, sort of. It was just a lot to think about.

"I'm curious," I said after a few minutes of silence, keeping my voice light. "What were you yelling to him about yesterday?"

I felt Bella stiffen beside me, and she opened her eyes to look at me. There was no need to mention names; she knew I was talking about Cullen. She looked down at her hands before she replied. "I don't know. I don't want to talk about it."

"You don't know?"

"Oh, I know, all right," she sighed, still keeping her eyes on her hands. "It was several things. He's just doing it all wrong, disappearing and returning like that instead of just telling me from the beginning. And then he never trusts my decisions, and it makes me feel so small, like I'm just a stupid little girl. Like when he keeps mentioning that werewolves are unreliable and bad company. He doesn't mean to be like that, I know that, but that's how it makes me feel. I really don't want to talk about it, it was really embarrassing. Mostly I think I was just scared."

I turned abruptly to stare at her, feeling the anger shoot through my veins. What the hell did she mean by that?

"Scared?" I repeated, my voice no longer light. "You were scared? I swear, if that motherf-"

Bella smiled. "Don't be silly. I wasn't afraid of _him."_

Oh, silly me. Who could ever be afraid of The Marble Monster. He was just as harmless as a kitten. She said it like the thought was completely alien to her.

"No," Bella said, frowning now. "Mostly I was afraid of myself, I think."

I frowned right back at her, not understanding one bit.

"It's just," Bella hesitated, taking a deep breath. "I was just scared that... I would forget. Like I did before. When we were together before."

"What do you mean?"

This girl was really developing a habit of speaking in riddles. Bella took another deep breath and sighed before she started to explain. She was still looking down.

"I've just never been really good at separating things. Between things that make me weaker and things that make me stronger. And if I do, I mostly don't care. But I _have _to do that now." She paused for a second, peeking up at me before she continued. "Because Edward makes me weak. He makes me not able to think. When we were together before, he made me forget the things that mattered. It's not his fault, he can't help it. This is all on me. I forgot about Charlie, I forgot about mom. I forgot about my friends, I forgot about school. I forgot about who I was before I met him. I forgot about _my _life."

Bella looked up to meet my gaze, her expression set. I could see how difficult it was for her to talk about this. "And now he almost made me forget about you," she said. "For a few short seconds, in the woods after that whole thing with Victoria. I nearly forgot about you. And you're, like, the one person in this world keeping me alive. The one reason I'm still around. And Edward made me forget about that. And that frightens me."

I knew what she was trying to say. The Douche made her forget to live. Her bottom lip trembled a little.

"Well," I said, not really surprised. I'd known this all along, and it was just about time she started to see it herself. "That's just what he is. You can't expect anything else. There is a reason why humans find vamps appealing. They're supposed to make you forget; lure you in. They're predators."

Bella pressed her lips together. "You make them sound like dinosaurs."

I snorted at her choice of words and only raised one eyebrow to look at her, but she didn't say anything else to contradict me. I turned to lay on my back to stare up into the ceiling. Maybe I'd hit a soft spot.

For some reason, I felt much better today than I did yesterday. Maybe a really painful night of sleeping in a tight space was the clue. As long as she was there. I'd been out of my own mind when I found her gone, found her scent mingled up with the redhead, and found her with _him. _I'd been anxious as hell and terribly afraid for her when she left to see the doucheface yesterday, I'd been annoyed and angry with him for coming back here at all. There was also the constant fear that she would just give me a "you suck", run into his open arms and leave me forever, which she hadn't yet made any assurances she wouldn't. But at the same time I couldn't help but feel devastatingly hopeful.

Maybe it was just the annoyingly bright light shining through the window, illuminating the recent events for me. I didn't know. But Bella was here with me now, wasn't she? Here, in her bed, Charlie fully aware, with me. She had come back to me before, and she was still here now. She knew the leech was around, and yet she choose to be around me. She was still my girl. I had not a single doubt in my mind that the leech would try his best efforts to lure her away from me; but if he had tried already, it wasn't working very well.

It was _me _she had chosen to wake up in the middle of the night, those few nights ago. Before all the leeches dropped by. _Me _she had chosen to be more intimate with than any other. Not him. And while she cried her tears over him yesterday, it was my name she whispered, my frame she clung to. My name she murmured when she woke now. Maybe it was all going to work out after all.

I sighed, content, and shifted a little on her tiny bed while staring up into the white ceiling. Dinosaurs, huh. I'd never considered that one before. No, Cullen was no tyrannosaurus. No cool raptor, either. He was more like one of those lame plant eaters. Or maybe something smaller, more of a crocodile. Or even better, a snake. Or just a worm, really. Yup. A worm was the thing.

We lay in silence for another few minutes. At last, when the annoying ticking from the clock had grown so irritating there was no way it would continue being ignored, Bella let out a heavy breath and pushed herself up in a sitting position.

"I should get going or I'll be late," she grumbled, clearly not willing to go at all.

"You're going to school today?" I asked her.

She sighed. "I might as well. My head is only throbbing a little, it's not so bad."

She pushed herself off the bed, and stumbled over to her closet to look for some clean clothes. I felt a little uneasy. She didn't look excited to go at all – was that because she was afraid the leech would be there? Or was she just trying to hide it from me? _Would _he be there?

"Bells?" I asked, stalling. I hesitated at first, but I needed to know. "Will he be at your school today?"

The question was silent, not at all accusing. Still, it made her hands freeze on the clean t-shirt she'd just found. She knew who I meant. Who else was there, really.

"I don't think so," she said, her tone a little strained. She looked down at the t-shirt in her hands before she turned to squint out the bright window. "The sun is out."

Well hello.

I felt my heart soar in undeserved triumph, and the sunlight seemed suddenly very appealing. Like if the sun was on my side, my silent conspirator. Us against the world and all leeches. My day just brightened considerably.

I noticed Bella was still frozen over the t-shirt. I decided to pretend like nothing, as if I'd just asked her what her classes were today.

"Okay," I said lightly. "You just seemed so sulky about going to school."

Bella actually snorted then, and her fingers got back to life. She dived back into the closet, searching for a pair of jeans.

"Jake, it's Monday. Who's excited about going to school Monday morning?"

"Alright. You got me there."

"I'm going to skip gym, though."

She eyed her gym bag in the corner dubiously, absentmindedly touching her throbbing head.

"Smart move." Gym would probably only give her another concussion, and that was more than any head should have to handle.

When she slipped out the door to go to the bathroom, I stood up to follow her out. On my way, I let my gaze slide over to the window and the sun shining brightly outside.

"_Thanks," _I mouthed soundlessly up at the bright sun before I followed Bella out the door and over to the stairs. If nothing else, at least the weather was on my side. Bella slipped past me down the hall towards the bathroom, while I climbed down the stairs.

Charlie had dined a table for three. Now, he was very conspicuously reading the newspaper, hiding his face as he tried to express utter calm and the aura of being in control of the situation. He didn't fool anyone. When I entered the kitchen, his newspaper dropped so that he could send me an inquiring look.

"Hey there, Jacob." His voice was guarded. Suspicious.

"Hi Charlie," I said effortlessly, slumping down in front of the newly added plate.

"Did you sleep well?" Charlie asked stiffly, measuring my reaction closely. Still hiding his face behind the newspaper. Maybe he was expecting me to blush.

And I was back on trial again.

"Honestly, no," I admitted, rubbing my neck while leaning back in the chair. "That bed is way too short. I woke up halfway on the floor. Never slept worse in my life, actually."

Really. I would _have _to give Bella a bed for Christmas. Yep. A bed was the thing.

"Oh." Charlie seemed lost for words for a second. This father-daughter-and-the-teenage-boy-who-just-spent-the-night-with-the-daughter talk wasn't going the way he was expecting.

Finally he gave up. With a great huff and exhale he dropped the newspaper completely. He sighed and passed me the bread, seemingly defeated.

"Here, eat some."

I eagerly grabbed three slices. I was hungry.

Charlie put the bread back on the table, with another deep sigh. "Thanks for watching out for her, Jake. You understand her more than I do."

I felt my ego swell a little at his words. But then I guess anyone would understand her more than Charlie. He was so hopelessly clueless of all this mess. I almost envied him.

He patted my shoulder heavily with another sigh. "I really was lost. I had no idea what to do last night; she just sat in her room and cried. I mean, I did ground her, but I wasn't that strict about it, right? I'm glad you came over, kid. You really helped me out there."

Aha. Charlie had tearofobia. I didn't really know how to reply, and was glad I didn't have to because just then we both heard Bella's footsteps as she walked down the stairs. She stopped when she rounded the corner, eyeing the scene in front of her with concerned eyes. I guess she wasn't used to sharing a breakfast table with both Dad and Boyfriend. No leech had been sitting right here at seven o clock in the morning. The thought made me oddly smug.

"Have a seat," Charlie mumbled when she didn't move, picking up the newspaper again. He'd given up trying to be in control of the situation – now he just wanted to read his sports.

Five slices of bread, one cup of coffee, a few pop tarts, a slightly uncomfortable Bella, a newspaper-reading Charlie and a slightly awkward breakfast on their part later, Charlie was on his way out. My deliberate cheerfulness hadn't had much effect on either of them – Bella was still grounded, Charlie still unsure of the situation. With another heavy pat on my shoulder, he left for work as quickly as he could. Escaping to his teenfree haven where the chief of police was the one in control of everything. Bella exhaled loudly when the door closed after him.

"He's still mad at me," she sighed, burying her face in her hand and staring out the window.

"Not with you," I corrected her. "He just doesn't know what to do, that's all."

I followed her outside when she was ready to leave. The sun was still shining shamelessly bright, and I greeted it with a shameless smile. I really loved the sun today. No sun, no sullen Cullen.

"Will you be out running today?" Bella wondered when we reached her truck.

"I guess. It's my turn to catch up."

"Oh. Okay."

"Can I see you tomorrow?" I wondered quietly. I would guard her house from the leech tonight anyway, but that wasn't the same. I wanted to be with her. If she wanted me to, that is. She still hadn't made me any reassurances about us, no 'Oh Jake, I love you's. But I chose not to think about that right now.

"Yes," she smiled. See, she was fine with me. Happy with me. As long as we didn't speak about Cullen – she seemed fine. That was more than okay. I had no wish to speak about him at all.

She reached up to kiss me lightly; just touching my lips to hers. A wave of electricity crashed through my body by the contact, and my hands moved up to keep her closer. We seriously didn't do this enough. Too soon she pulled away though, sending me a quick smile before she got into her truck and slammed the door.

I strolled over to my Rabbit, waved once when she drove past me, got inside my own car and rolled up onto the road. I tried to be optimistic about the sun still shining, Cullen still sulking in a dark hole, but when Bella wasn't here beside me it wasn't that easy. Away from her room and our own private place, the world was starting to look glum again.

I reached home, crossed the threshold with only one foot just to offer my dad a quick "I'm home, I'm going out. You okay?"

His voice was surprised when he replied, his voice floating towards me from the kitchen. I could hear the shuffling from a newspaper and the scent of fresh coffee. "Yes... I'm fine, son. You don't have to rush do you? Come in, have some breakfast –"

I could sense that he didn't want me to leave. Maybe he wanted to talk. But really, right now I wasn't in the mood.

"Already ate," I called back. "Gotta go. See you later."

I left without hearing his reply. We could talk some other time.

I went over to the forest edge, flipping off my t-shirt in the process. I'd skip school today. I had better things to do.

When I phased, it was crowded. Everyone was busy with their own things, own thoughts. Patrols were being kept, boarders were being followed down to the last centimeter. I joined them without further ado.

_What's up? _I murmured to Embry, breaking through his focus.

_Not much, _he thought truthfully. _There's been nothing new. The redhead took off into the water when she left – we haven't smelled her since. And Cullen...we haven't smelled from him either._

_They're all back, though, _Seth added into our conversation. _All of the Cullens. Not just Edward. It reeks for miles around their place._

_I know, _I grumbled. _Bella told me._

_Why, though? _Embry wanted to know.

_For how long? _Quil chimed in.

_What's up with the Cullens? _Seth mulled to himself.

I sighed. _What's up with the Cullens, indeed. Bella says they are here to protect her from the redhead._

A round of chuckles and snorts ran through the common mind simultaneously.

_That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, _Paul laughed. _What do they think we're here for? Peeing on trees?_

We ran in silence for a while.

_How are things going with you and Bella? _Embry finally asked, his thoughts quiet and gentle. Not trying to poke, but trying to help.

_I think it's okay, _I thought honestly. _She went to see the scum yesterday, but... I think we'll sort it out. She's finally starting to make sense._

_What was she doing over there anyway? _Quil wondered. _Having a tea party?_

_Supper party? _Embry joined him.

_Blood bath?_

_Don't get nasty, Ateara. No, seriously. I think it'll work out after all. Or I hope so. It seems like it, anyway._

I felt Leah snort in the back of my brain.

_What are you snorting at?_

_Nothin'._

_Uh huh, _I thought, unconvinced.

_You're just so hopelessly optimistic._

_You should try it. It would do you good._

Another snort.

_Stay out of my head, _I warned her. But I wasn't angry, I was smiling.

_You stay out of mine, _she replied, in just the same manner.

As it turned out, Leah didn't have to snort for long. With endless hours of running, pacing, mulling and sharing a constantly speculating pack brain, the good spirits from this morning didn't seem to be able to last. I felt my mood drop considerably as the day rolled to an end.

_Jake the Joyful, _Leah sniggered.

Funny. The more down I get, the happier she gets.

_That's not true, _she contradicted me. _It's just fun since you're down because of all the wrong reasons._

_I'm sharing my brains with you, _I retorted. _Now tell me, isn't that reason enough to be down?_

Leah sniggered again. _I think I'm a great amount smarter than you, little boy._

_Think again._

I spent the whole day running, catching up for the time I had been gone and letting some of the other guys have a break. When it turned dark, I was finally dismissed. I ran back home and sighed heavily as I phased back. It was good standing on two legs again.

I walked over to the house, dressing as I went, and slipped inside the door.

"It's just me, dad," I called quietly. I felt a little bad for neglecting him today – normally I had my fair share of making dinner, doing dishes and other household duties. It was only so much you could do from a wheelchair in this house. It wasn't that much room.

"Hey son," Dad called from the kitchen. He was sitting by the kitchen table, and I slumped down in the chair on the other side from his. "There's food on the stove," he offered. "I've already eaten."

I grabbed some lasagna on a plate and dived in. It wasn't quite cold yet so I didn't bother to heat it.

"Have you been out with the pack all day?" he asked, never taking his eyes from the newspaper he was reading.

I nodded, my mouth too busy chewing to form a reply.

"Anything happened?"

I shook my head, head still over the plate.

Dad stayed silent while I took another few bites, letting me still the hunger some. I ate my food quickly, planning to head back out as soon as I was done. It was getting late, and I wanted to be get outside Bella's house before someone else did. No leech would be sneaking in on her tonight. I knew someone from the pack was already there to watch over the house, but I wanted that to be me.

"So you stayed over at Charlie's last night?" dad wanted to know after a while, shuffling the newspaper as he turned a page.

"Mhm. How d'ya know?" I mumbled, my mouth busy chewing again. Normally my dad would just assume I was out running all night like I had numerous of times.

"Charlie called me," he replied, shooting a glance at me. "Just to let me know you would be spending the night. He sounded really out of it, like he had no idea what to do. I feel bad for him. He seemed grateful you came over, though."

"Yeah..." I paused to swallow. "But it's not Bella's fault the leech is here. Charlie shouldn't be angry with _her._"

"Charlie knows that. He just doesn't know how to handle the situation."

As if any of us did.

Dad returned to his newspaper while I finished my food. I stood up to rinse my plate in the sink when I was done.

"Are you going out again?" he wanted to know.

"Yeah, I have to." My voice turned bitter. "They're all back now. We can't risk anything."

I would only run to the forest outside Bella's house. Just to watch out for the leech, not to stay inside with her. I needed to find out if he had been lurking around her house or not.

There was a brief pause, and I heard dad put away the newspaper behind me. When he spoke next, his voice was different. Lighter.

"Am I right when I assume Bella stayed here this weekend?"

I turned around to look at him over my shoulder, surprised by this change of subject. He was looking at me, his eyes brooding. The words were innocent, but I wasn't fooled. I sensed this was the conversation he had wanted to have all along.

"Yes, she did," I told him truthfully. I put my plate on the counter, not turning away from his gaze.

By my reply, he nodded quietly to himself. He pursed his lips a little, but didn't seem like he was about to say anything soon. His expression was a bit more knowing than I liked it.

"What?" I asked, baffled.

He didn't reply immediately. Instead, dad kept his eyes on me, still with that knowing expression on his face. I knew that look.

"As long as you're careful, son. I hope I can trust you to be responsible," he finally said.

"Dad –"

"I know, I know. I know you are responsible. But it's easy to forget sometimes, I remember how it was when I was younger –"

"Dad!" I exclaimed, turning my back on him to put my plate in the nearest cupboard. There's only so much you want to hear your father say.

Thankfully, he didn't insist on enlightening me about his adventures as a young man. He only chuckled and opened the newspaper again, clearly making up his own mind about me and Bella's relationship. Well, he was mostly right anyway, so I didn't feel a need to correct him. Again, I couldn't help it.

"How did you know?" I turned around to narrow my eyes at him. It was still a mystery to me how dad could see everything so clearly while Charlie was out in the dark, waving with his hand over his eyes. I probably should have dropped it, but again I was curious.

"Jacob," he said, lifting his eyes to peek at me. "You said she spent the night here. The sheets on Rachel's bed are untouched, and obviously no one has been sleeping there for weeks. Still not rocket science, son."

Huh. I shrugged. Fair enough. Dad returned to his paper as if it was just about to reveal the meaning of life. I was about to sneak out of the kitchen when he spoke up again.

"Charlie doesn't know," he said, stating the obvious.

"Guess not."

"Do you have plans telling him?"

Ugh. _Come on._

"Err. I didn't think yesterday was the best moment, if you know what I mean," I said, dragging my hand through my hair. You just don't tell a dad with a gun that you've slept with his daughter unless you're trying to get yourself killed. "I dunno dad. Sure. But we're not exactly... I mean, things are still a bit messed up." _Yeah, you see dad, there's this thing about her ex, that is really a leech, and now he's lurking all over the place._

Dad sent me a quick searching glance, before turning a page. "I guess I can see your point. You better try to sort things out, though. As long as you are being safe, son. As long as you're being safe."

"Sure, sure," I said automatically as hurried to get away from this conversation and into my room. I didn't really acknowledge his words until I'd closed the door behind me and slumped down on the bed.

_As long as you're being safe._

Being safe.

Safe_._

Oh _crap. _What had I done? I felt the blood drain from my face. My mouth dropped as I stared blankly in front of me, not really seeing anything. How could I be so _blind?_

I hadn't left her. I hadn't broken her heart either, at least not as far I could tell. I hadn't pushed her, I hadn't pressed her. Not brought her up in the forest to dump her. I hadn't done anything like that. No Jacob, no. Instead, I had put a fucking baby on her.

_You don't know that! _I screamed at myself. _You don't know that! That's not true!_

But then again, it might be.

It couldn't be like that. She was probably on the pill or something? Right? She had to be, she must have mentioned it some time. I must just have forgotten about it. I immediately started searching through my brain. I tried to recall that night, that night all those nights ago, when I had woken up by something tickling my cheek. _That _night. The only night. Desperately hoping that somewhere during my haze and blurriness and fogginess she had magically sorted that out. I tried to imagine that she had fixed it, in some way I couldn't remember. That she had magically said, "Don't worry, Jacob. I've got that covered. Everything is fine." But the more I searched, the more I tried to recall, the more certain I was that she had not. Neither fixed, nor said, anything. And it wasn't exactly like we _planned _it either. It hadn't been prepared.

Gulp.

I jolted back up on my feet, and started pacing around the room. What could I do? Was there anything I could do? _No, you nobrainer, _I told myself. _You've done enough. _Could I _be _more stupid? And on top of that, even _days _had passed before the thought even crossed my mind. My _dad, _of all people, was the one to remind me. I slumped down on the bed again, my head feeling like a squashed bug. I stared at my hands.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

There was probably nothing. If there was, she must have noticed it right now, right? Or maybe it took weeks to notice that kind of thing. Maybe months. I knew she'd been sick when she had her concussion. Was that it? It couldn't be. I had no idea. My knowledge base on that area was beyond zero. I halfheartedly considered to sneak in on my dad's computer to google 'pregnancy', but buried my face in my hands instead.

What a mess.

I would have to tell her. Today. Right now. She would hate me. She would never want to see me again. She would kick me out and hate me for the rest of her life, which I'd just ruined.

Or would she be happy –? The image of a happy, round, smiling Bella seeped into my mind...

_Shut it you perv, _I screamed at myself, before slamming my forehead into the mattress. _She doesn't want to have a _baby _with _you. _You're sixteen! She's eighteen! _This was seriously fucked up.

Without thinking, without planning, I got up from the bed. I rubbed my eyes a few times, getting myself ready to face the harsh reality outside of this room. It didn't help much. I tiptoed down the hallway before I called a strangled goodbye to my dad, hoping he wouldn't hear the change in my voice.

I couldn't take the car. Both Charlie and dad would wonder what I was up to. Dad, because as far as he knew I would be out running patrols, and Charlie because it was way too late for polite-visit-time. I had no choice but to phase, even though I didn't want to.

Luckily – I was greeted by fewer than earlier today. I tried to remain unnoticed as I sprinted through the forest, but of course the pack brain didn't work like that.

_Jake..?_

_Hey, what –?_

_Leave it alone, _I told them, all too nervous to sound firm. _Please. Just leave it._

I don't know if they noticed my sincerity and backed down, or if they actually realized what this was all about. But for once, no one said a word.

I reached Bella's house faster than I normally did, and phased back immediately. I had no idea how to do this. Hell, what _could _I do? Buy her a pregnancy test with a pink bow on it? I could only imagine the conversation. _Bella...err... I have something for you..._I would have to tell her, I just had no idea how I would ever get the words out. I swallowed loudly. She was a girl. She would know what to do. Girls knew stuff like this.

I reached her window, and looked up. The curtains were drawn, and it was quiet inside. It was too late for me to ring the doorbell without a good excuse to Charlie, so I could only hope Bella wasn't already asleep. Without thinking or considering what was best to do, I picked up a small stone from the ground, and threw it lightly up at her window. It gave a quiet _clunk _before it dropped to the ground.

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_Big thanks to kallmecrazy and JJtwi1ight who beta'ed faster than I was able to send it, and also thanks to jakejunkie for letting me borrow the phrase 'marble monster'._

_Reviews will be rewarded :)_


	22. Sorries

_A.N: Ah. Dear reviewers. Even though I might scare you a little now and then, please don't think the worst of me. I usually sort out the mess I've started. And yeah, cliffhangers still seem to like me. Sorry about that. They just follow me around..._

_Some of you want to read more from Bella's point of view and also from Edward's point of view. I want this to be Jacob's story though, and so I don't want to switch between point of views too much. When Jacob is confused and doesn't understand anything, neither should you! There will be Bpovs when Jacob is a)sleeping, or on a vacation, or for some other reason not around, b)missing all the fun and you would all get very confused and bored if you didn't read about it when it happened. As for Edward's point of view – be patient, dear ones. I'm not saying yes, I'm not saying no, I'm just saying not now. Maybe, baby. We'll see ;)_

_Thanks to JJTwi1ight who's doing an amazing and very patient job making sense of my ramblings and funny translations. _

_Now. Back to business. Jacob's point of view, again. Enjoy :)_

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_

**Sorries**

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"Bella," I whispered, my voice awful loud in the quiet night. No response. "Come on," I muttered under my breath. "Bells!" I hissed again, throwing another stone against her window. I bent down to pick up another, just when I heard movement inside. There was some more movement, and then the quiet shuffling of clumsy feet crossing the floor. The curtain moved slightly, and then there was a blur of brown hair as she peeked out.

"Jacob?" I heard her mumble, before she reached out to open the window. "Jake?" she said, rubbing her eyes as if to see me more clearly.

"I need to talk to you," I blurted out.

"What's wrong?"

"I..." I hesitated. This wasn't the best surroundings for this type of thing. "Can I come up?"

Bella turned to look over her shoulder. When she did that, my guts suddenly froze to ice cream. The leech wasn't there was he? Maybe he was already there, snuggling up with her in bed-

"Of course, come on up," Bella said, as she turned back to wave me up. I automatically drew a deep breath of the fresh, clean air. Unpolluted air. Ashamed, I realized she just had been checking to hear if Charlie was asleep. The leech wasn't there. Of course, the guys would have noticed. I was just being paranoid. With numb fingers I eased myself up into the tree with help from the nearest branch. I got inside her window as silent as possible, and then turned to face her.

She was wearing her sleeping outfit, clearly already on her way to bed. Now, she was squinting up at me through sleepy eyes, expectant and concerned. How could I tell her this? I had no idea. My gaze automatically flickered to her stomach before I controlled myself and turned to stare at the ceiling.

"What is it, Jake?" Bella asked, her voice confused.

"Erm..." I fumbled with my hands, not sure what to do with them.

"Are you hurt?" she asked, stepping closer to me. Her whole face twisted with worry and she reached one hand out to touch my arm.

"No, I'm fine," I hurried to say. "It's...er...Bella, I'm so sorry."

Her frown deepened. "Is it something with the pack?" She lowered her voice to a whisper. "Is it Victoria?"

"No, it's nothing. I mean, it is, but..."

Ah. How the hell was I supposed to say this?

Her eyes turned anxious in front of me, and she lowered her voice til it could barely be called a whisper. "Is it...is it Edward? You didn't fight?"

"No, no, it's nothing like that," I hurried to say, too nervous to even flinch when she mentioned the leech.

"Then what's wrong?" Bella asked again. She was standing straight in front of me now, touching my arm with her hand.

"Erm..." I fumbled, my gaze flickering between her eyes. "It's about before. Before the leeches came here."

Bella didn't reply; just waited for me to continue.

"It's about...that night. What happened that night." I lowered my voice and searched her eyes, and could see when realization sparked in her eyes.

"What is it?" she wondered quietly.

_Here we go._

"I just...remembered that...We didn't – I didn't..." I stopped my stuttering, trying to form a full sentence instead. "I forgot...protection."

Bella stood quite still as she absorbed my words. She took in my expression for what seemed like a long, long time. What had I done? She would hate me. I fought the urge to close my eyes and wait for the blow.

Then she smiled. "You came all the way here just to tell me that?"

I was speechless for about four seconds.

"Wha...?" I was finally able to press out. _Brilliant, Black. Show her some grammar._

Bella sighed in front of me, before she reached out to touch my hand.

"I'm on the pill," she said quietly.

One part of me sighed a big fat sigh of relief. One part of me wanted to shut the hell up and kiss her. One part was curious.

The curious part won. "You are?" I mumbled, astonished. "Since when?" Had she been thinking about this possibly happening before? The thought seemed unlikely, impossible. And absolutely confident boosting.

"Renee forced them on me ages ago," she explained. "Just to be on the safe side."

"Oh," I said, before I dropped down on the tip of her bed with a relieved exhale. "So we're cool, then?"

"We're cool," she assured me with a smile and sat down beside me.

"Jeez, you need to tell me things like that," I said. "I almost had a nervous breakdown back there, you know."

"Well, you didn't ask," she retorted truthfully. "And did you really think I wouldn't have thought of that already? It's been _days, _Jacob."

Apparently, I _was _the nobrainer here. It had only taken me _days _to figure this out. I mentally patted myself on the back_. _Way to go. Bella seemed to sense what I was thinking.

"But there has been a lot going on the last few days," she hurried to say, as if to smooth over my stupidity. "You've had a lot on your mind."

"And you haven't?"

I turned to look at her, and she smiled a little. "Don't worry about it."

I gushed out a deep breath of air, and let myself fall back on her bed. She laid down beside me, and we just laid there for a little while, staring up into the white ceiling. Thank god Bella was smart. Because I certainly didn't feel very smart at the moment. I turned to peek at her. She was looking absentmindedly up into the ceiling, seemingly deep in thought. I wondered what she was thinking about. Thoughts of Cullen danced around the outside of my brain, trying to gnaw their way in, but I shut them out. I didn't want to think about him now.

I turned to gaze back up at the ceiling. How easier it would all be if all leeches would just disappear from the surface of the earth. Just for a little while. Then it would be only me and her. Maybe I could get a job. Earn some money. Get a life. That would've been nice.

"You should just come to stay at the res with me," I sighed with a smile, my mind lost in it's own daydream. It wasn't a very realistic one, but it sure as hell was nice.

I felt Bella turn to look at me. "You know I can't do that," she said.

I turned towards her, planning some witty reply about her tripping all over First Beach, but was surprised to see she was frowning. She'd thought I was serious. And she looked serious, annoyed even. Why was that? Hey, it wasn't that bad of a joke. It was a pretty good idea, actually. The res was leech free. Great. There was no reason why she should be annoyed.

"I do?" I asked. I'd meant it as a joke, but now I frowned back.

"Uhm. Yeah."

Huh. She was still frowning.

"No. Really." I felt my eyebrows raise a little. "Why not?" There was no reason for her to be this serious. It was not like we planned to move in together, but come on. She could at least pretend to not detest the idea.

"I'm grounded," she mumbled.

I laughed out at that. " Do you really think Charlie would mind?"

Really, was that the best she got? Charlie wouldn't mind. Hypothetically speaking or not, Charlie loved me. Charlie could move in too. Let's all move to the res. Great idea. We could stuff everyone we knew inside the res, and keep the leeches out. I didn't see why not.

"I have school," she mumbled.

"You have a concussion. Call and say you're sick."

Still hypothetically speaking, of course.

Her voice turned sour. "And for how long may I ask?"

Why did she have to sound so annoyed? I'd meant it as a joke, funny comment, lucky what-if scenario. Nothing more. But now I nearly got annoyed with her for reacting this negatively to it.

"Until we catch Victoria," I replied. _And the Cullens leave and we can be ourselves again. _Great package-deal, that.

"You don't have to sound so annoyed," she pointed out, sounding pretty annoyed herself.

"I don't. I'm not. I just don't see your problem."

"_My _problem?" She hissed, suddenly cranky as hell. She pushed herself up into a sitting position, and glared down at me.

Remind me to not wake up Bella in the middle of the night again.

"Okay okay, sorry," I whispered back as I sat up beside her, keeping my palms up in surrender. "I didn't mean anything with it, it was just a joke. But I don't see why you couldn't, really. Hyphotetically speaking. I'm not asking you to or anything, but I don't get why you're acting so defensive about it."

She crossed her arms tightly over her chest. "I like things as they are now. I like my school, and I have my friends there."

A thought crossed my mind then, a thought I should not be thinking and least of all say out loud. Saying it out loud would make me no smarter than a heap of donkey poo. Her friends were at her school, true. But they might not be the only ones there. Not the palest ones. Maybe she acted so defensive because she simply wanted to see _him _again. I heard some scraping sounds as Cullen continued to chew on my skull. Yes, saying that out loud would be beyond stupid.

Apparently, my mouth decided to go for donkey poo without my brain's approval.

"That's the only reason?" I said, before I was able to catch myself. "You sure about that?"

Yup. I'd been right. I shouldn't have said that. If there was a slight possibility that Bella didn't understand the meaning behind my words, that possibility was now on vacation. She turned to stare at me with a unfathomable expression on her face, and I knew she understood perfectly what my palefaced innuendo had been. Uh huh. Bad idea. Really bad idea. And I didn't really think it was true either. What was wrong with me today? This was stupid.

I sat up beside her, and before she could say anything (or bite me, or spit in my face, or yam me in the head with her tattered version of Wuthering Heights) I had leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. Her jaw was set, and she certainly did not kiss me back, but that didn't matter. I felt her hands against my chest, probably trying to push me away with no success. That didn't matter either.

"Sorry," I whispered against her lips, before she would start to kick me where it hurt. "Sorry."

Sorry, huh. That must be my word of the day. How many times today had I already told her I was sorry? Quite a few. It was without a doubt the quickest rising word in my vocabulary. Probably only next to "Hi" and "Bella". What a wonderful impression I must be making on people. _Hi. Bella. Sorry._ Summary of my life.

She still wasn't convinced, I could tell, but I didn't give up. After a few seconds she sighed, exasperated, and her fists on my chest turned soft. Her lips started moving as she surrendered and kissed me back. I floated, and just like that the rest of the world disappeared. No leeches, no Cullens, no redheads. Just her, here on the bed, with me. Her lips pressed lightly against mine. Everything else was forgotten. It didn't matter.

It felt like there had been forever. Forever since the last time she had kissed me, even though I knew it wasn't. I realized I had missed her more than I had let myself know. I hadn't missed her company, no, I had missed her confirmation. For her to tell me that it was me she wanted, no one else. I knew kissing didn't assure anything, only words and actions could do that. But it sure as hell felt great anyway.

I kissed her back roughly simply because I couldn't help it, and leaned towards her to press her down on her back. She responded with the same intensity, along with a hint of surprise. My brain squealed and squirmed, and I imagined Cullen banging his fists against my skull trying to get in. It didn't work though. That door was shut at the moment. I'd give her what the leech couldn't.

My body loomed over hers on the small bed, pressing her down in the soft mattress. Her bed squeaked below us, but I barely noticed. I couldn't remember last time she had kissed me like this. Her lips were soft and eager and familiar, the sound of her heartbeats humming against my ears. If she had been annoyed with me earlier, that was now long forgotten.

I didn't think. There was no need to think. I let my hands roam her body, pressing up her t- shirt as I went. She let me. It was kind of ironic, wasn't it, the contrast between what had driven me here tonight and what we were now doing. She exhaled heavily under me. I let my hand dig into her waist, my thumb stroking over her exposed stomach. This was right, this was how it was supposed to be. Thinking was overrated. I must have lost my brain somewhere.

Her hands gripped my hair, her fingers turning to fists around it. She kissed me back just as roughly, and I let whole the length of my body press down the length of hers. I rested some of my weight on her, and she didn't seem to mind. Her breaths turned to panting, and the bed squeaked again. My hands continued their little journey, reaching her breasts and pushing her t-shirt completely out of the way. She exhaled quietly against my mouth, her skin against mine making jolts of electricity run down my spine. It had been forever. I tried to think back, counting the days inside my head to figure out exactly how long ago, but then couldn't remember what number came after two. Thinking became certainly overrated after that.

Never once let I go of her lips, but kissed her as hungrily as ever. The word was swirling, the walls were swimming, and I only saw her. I felt her hand as she ran it over my chest, her nails scraping past my stomach. I pressed her further down in the mattress. She clutched herself to me as I slipped one hand down to run up her leg and thigh-

A cough from the neighboring room made us both freeze. Bella opened her eyes to stare at me in horror, while I tried to get back in touch with my brain. I took me a few seconds before I found it, hidden somewhere in the back of my head. The noise brought us back to the present, and the reality that her dad was actually sleeping next door. Or at least I'd thought he was sleeping.

I listened hard, trying to make out a sound, but Charlie's heartbeats were still calm and even as ever. There was some more coughing, and some creaking from a mattress, and then a loud snore. I looked down at Bella, and she was still staring at me with horrorstruck eyes while holding her breath.

"He's still sleeping," I calmed her.

She exhaled slowly. We looked at each other for a long minute, no sound in the room but our raging breaths and heartbeats. Then she put her palms against my chest and pushed gently. I moved aside, and she ducked past me to sit up. My hands felt lonely.

"He would freak out if he knew you were here," Bella mumbled guiltily, as she straightened her t-shirt and pulled it back down. _Bye bye, hot topless girl. _

I very ungraciously scrambled myself up to sit beside her. "I know. But I had to talk to you."

She peeked up at me before she quickly looked back down. Her face was still a little flushed. I sighed. Charlie had, asleep or not, just managed to kill the mood thoroughly. Stupid cough. Now she looked only guilty and far too thoughtful and way more analyzing than it should be allowed to look this far past midnight. Or maybe she was just trying to decide if she should still be mad at me about what I said earlier or not.

As she looked down, some of her hair fell down in her face. I lifted one hand to tuck it back behind her ear, letting my fingers linger on her cheek. I looked at the watch on her nightstand, and sighed again. My time was running out, too.

"I- I should get going," I told her regretfully. I'm supposed to be running patrols." Sam would get pissed if I didn't turn up at all tonight. This was just my luck.

Bella only nodded, still looking down. "Oh," she said.

"Don't worry. I'll be around. You're in no danger." _No leech will be climbing in this window._

She looked up at me, a little frown on her forehead. I couldn't quite read her expression. "Just be careful, alright?" she whispered.

"Sure, sure."

I looked at her, smiling a little. She smiled back at first, but then she turned thoughtful. She looked up at me, speculating. Then she frowned, and then she frowned some more, and then she was starting to look slightly grumpy. Maybe she was beginning to recall our last conversation and my stupid mouth. I hesitated, not really sure what to do. Was I forgiven? I looked at her, and Bella sent me a dark scowl. Yep. Still grumpy. She looked exactly like if I'd just tricked her to start making out with me instead of being mad. Which I sort of had. I opened my mouth to say I was sorry once again (my speciality), but she cut me off before I'd even opened my mouth.

"You're really stupid sometimes," she huffed. Then she leaned over and kissed me, hard, and then she pulled away and heaved around in her bed. She dived headfirst under her blanket without another glance or wave, leaving me out in the cold. Well, she had kissed me, so she shouldn't be mad. But she certainly acted like she was. Boy, that girl knew how to act confusing. But I knew she wasn't really mad at me.

I leaned over her wrapped up form, and managed to locate her halfway hidden face. Then I leaned down and kissed what parts of her face I was able to reach. I didn't stop until I'm quite sure I heard her giggle.

"Night Bells," I smiled. Then I got up, crossed the room, and slipped back out into the quiet night. We would be okay.

My feet were quiet as they hit the grass under her window. I heard Bella heave around a little in her bed and sigh quietly to herself, but other than that it was quiet. The moon was up, leaving my surroundings in a blueish glow. I was just about to run to the shadows behind the house to phase and take a few sweeps around the house to make sure everything was okay, when something in my peripheral vision caught my attention. Out of the corner of my eye I could see a flash of white.

I didn't think, but acted on pure instinct. I felt the familiar burn in my muscles and heard the tearing sound of fabric as my clothes got ripped to pieces. I phrased, and landed heavily on the ground, twirling around to face him. But he didn't approach me at all. He was standing about fifty meters away, by the edge of the forest. Looking at me. I could feel the stench swirling towards me, poisoning my nose. It was only a matter of seconds before I would have noticed either way, even if I hadn't seen him. I planted my feet out of habit, waiting for his move.

Cullen. Doucheface. Worm. Leech. Tick. Bloodsucker. Scum. Jerk. Ass. McDouche. The nicknames to use on him were endless. _Edward _seemed far to civilized. He didn't approach me or attack me though, as I expected. He just stood there, quite still, observing. It was the first time I'd seen him since that day in the forest.

He looked more dead now than ever. His eyes were no longer black, but had a sickening yellow. _Been out feeding on rabbits, have we? _His face was as pointed as ever though, and while we stared at each other I knew he'd heard it all. Everything we'd been talking about in her room, everything I'd been thinking since I got here. Everything we'd done. He'd heard. He knew it all. He had probably been trying to find a way to sneak inside her window, but when he got here he couldn't – I was already there.

Just in that moment I knew. Right now, here this moment as we both measured each other out. This had nothing to do with anything supernatural at all. No vampires, no leeches, no werewolves. No treaty, no born enemies. As we stared at each other, it was purely about one girl. Easy and human as that. Neither bloodlines, genes or fangs had anything to do with this. Just two guys, one coming out of the bedroom of the girl they both wanted. And then there was the aftermath.

What was the aftermath?

I braced myself, and felt a deep rumble starting to build up in my chest. If he wanted to get in, he would have to go through the front door and the wrath of Charlie. He would not get past me to sneak up this window. That was out of the question. I was staying right here.

I heard him make an annoyed sound. Almost like a sigh, inaudible to human ears. Then he turned, and in a flash he was gone. Just as sudden as I'd seen him, he had disappeared.

The stench was still left though.

I stayed put for a few minutes, just in case he was coming back. When he didn't, I went to take a quick sweep throughout the forest nearby, just to check. It smelled of him, but no one else. Then I lay down under the big tree in the back of the garden, where I usually stayed during nights like this, and sighed heavily. I wondered how long he'd been here. He had been listening in, for sure. Had he heard it all? Probably. I knew I should be mad at him for doing that, but instead I was oddly smug. All the secrets were out of the box, then.

_So, it turned out...okay? With you two? _Embry's question seeped into my train of thoughts.

_Yeah, _I sighed. _It was okay after all._

_And here I was hoping I would be an uncle, _Quil sniggered.

_Shut up, Ateara. _

I realized I would have to come back here to watch out for Bella every night from now on. I knew the leech would be back, probably looking for a way to get in and have her to himself. I wondered when I would be able to sleep next.

In the back of my mind, I noticed Leah. She was quiet, silent, mute. Trying not to draw attention to herself. I noticed immediately that she was unhappy. Worried. Scared. I had a clear feeling she didn't want me, or anyone, to pay attention to her or what she was thinking. She was trying to make herself small, unnoticeable. When she realized I was paying attention to her, her reaction was immediate. Her mind went blank and she phased. But she was a little too late though. Before she was gone, I caught the flash of me, Bella and... A baby? Smiling, embracing. The image was painted ´happy family´. And Leah was... scared? It could't make sense of it, so I put it in the back of my mind to think of later.

* * *

You'd think as the days went on, I would adapt to the situation. As the days went on, I should feel better. Get used to it. Become more confident. Well, that didn't happen.

Bella was tense. Sometimes, I would catch her staring out the window, her face blank and her expression not mine. I would get all nervous, wondering what she was thinking and speculating about. I couldn't let myself relax with her the same way, it wasn't as easy to be around her like before. I walked around with constant fear that any second, any day, she would say she couldn't take it any more. A couple of days passed, and she still hadn't made any assurances to me she wouldn't.

What I feared most was that soon I would no longer be able to make her smile. I used to be good at that, that was sort of my thing. To make her happy. I had always been good at making Bella happy. When she came to see me with the bikes all those months ago, in the garage. That was what I _did, _that was _me. _That was _us. _If I couldn't make her smile any more; then what could I do?

Bella was still grounded, and Charlie didn't back down, not even for me. She wasn't allowed to leave the house other than going to school, so she wasn't allowed to go to the res. I came over as often at I could, and guarded her bedroom window from outside every night. I guess all in all, this wasn't so bad. At least the leech couldn't pester her now, I thought. And all in all I was right. If only there hadn't been for school.

I'd wondered before if he came to her in school. And the answer was yes. He did.

"Edward came to school today," Bella casually threw out one day. I'd just come over to her place (obviously, since she wouldn't be going anywhere soon), and we were occupying the couch in the living room. Just talking, waiting for the dinner on the stove and Charlie to come home, just like always.

I tensed. "He _what?"_

"Oh relax, it's only because he has to," Bella said, and curled her legs up beside her in the couch. "They can't stay here and not go to school. He's supposed to be eighteen now, you know. He has to go to school, or people would get suspicious. "

So that's what he'd told her. He was better at playing this game than I'd thought.

"They don't want to pull attention to themselves," she added.

Yeah, right. They must be the least conspicuous family on the planet.

"So... Did he – did he talk to you?" I tried to make my voice normal, casual. I didn't succeed.

Bella's eyes flickered to mine. "He...yes. We talked. We have...er...we have some classes together." She shook her head slightly. "But still it's – it's not like before. It's different now. He knows that."

_Uh huh. _

"Do you want things to be like before?" I asked her bluntly. I had to get it out there.

Bella turned to look at me, surprised. "Well, no," she said seeming surprised. " I know you now," she finished, and sent me an insecure smile.

I sighed. That must be the closest thing to an assurance she'd given me so far. Still, you couldn't blame me for not bouncing with happiness. It wasn't exactly an exclamation of her love.

"Thanks for the brutal honesty," I muttered. She did know how to strangle hope by the core.

"Oh, Jake, no," she hurried to say when she saw my face. She reached over on the couch, and tilted my face back up. "I'm trying to be honest but it just comes out all wrong. I was just trying to say that – things are different. You're here now. And even though he's back, he can't erase what I feel for you."

I looked up, stunned. She had never spoken out loud of her feelings for me before, ever_. I_ knew she had feelings for me, obviously, but she'd never admitted it herself. By her words, I felt a little better.

"So the other leeches are back to school as well?" I wondered.

"Only him and Alice."

I really should swap schools and start with the palefaces. Keep Bella safe from the extremely pale faces.

"Alice is still the same as always though," Bella said, her face breaking into the first grin of the day. "She says she doesn't care who I'm seeing as long as she can have me as her number one human friend. She is quite annoyed with you though. Apparently she can't see me when I'm around you. It makes her really anxious. She's almost thankful Charlie is keeping me grounded – she says that at least she knows where I am even if she can't see me.

Right. The psychic. Hey, wait...

"When you say 'see'...?"

"She can see the future. I told you that, right?"

"And she can't see me in the future? Or any of the wolves? Or you when you're around us at the res?"

Bella nodded.

"Ah, Bella," I grinned, teasing her. "I know you want to move in at the res with me. Charlie won't mind. Dad would only be thrilled. Wouldn't that be fun?"

I grinned at her, refusing her to get mad at me again. Beside, some teasing would only do her good. I bet Cullen didn't give her much of a laugh. She knew I was only joking now, and she smacked my shoulder. "You're shameless," she said, but couldn't keep the smile off her face even if she tried.

"Seriously, come on. It would be cool, right?"

"Not a chance, Jacob."

"We have finals at the res too," I tempted her, dangling the carrot in front of her eyes. "And math tests and everything. Plenty of fun for the nerd. I know you're considering it."

"Mhm," she said unconvinced. " I don't think so. There's enough reasons why I shouldn't"

"Don't bring up those lame reasons you gave me last time, please."  
"Fine, I wont then," she said, crossing her arms. "But there are plenty other good reasons."

I waited for her to come up with at least one, but she didn't continue. She was still smiling slightly, but trying not to.

"Such as...?" I pressed. I knew I had her.

"I'm thinking!" she hushed me.

I let her think for exactly ten more seconds. As if that would do any good.  
"And the arguments keep flooding in," I noted, and Bella threw a pillow at me. She missed by almost two meters. "Wow, you suck at throwing pillows Bells."

"Shut up," she said and threw another one. It just grazed my left knee. "I hit you!" she said, pointing a finger at me as if daring me to contradict her.

"No, you didn't." I picked up the pillow from the floor and threw it lightly back at her. It hit her straight in the face. "_I _hit _you_."

She huffed a little. "Anyways. There's a lot of good reasons."

"You're right," I said seriously. "I still keep mulling over all your suggestions, but what you've come up with so far seem a bit airy to me."

Miraculously, the pillow hit me straight in the face this time. Her superior smile didn't last for long though; in no time I had buried her in the remaining pillows, making her scream with laughter.

At least I could still make her _smile._

_

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Review? :) I have ze spoilers. _


	23. Fangtastic

_A.N: Thank you for all the sweet reviews, also you who I can't reply to in person. And of course, a humongous thanks to kallmecrazy and JJTwi1ight who beta'ed this one :)_

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Fangtastic**

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The following days, I spent every spare moment I had with Bells. For exactly two days I neither saw or smelled any trace of the Cullens. My sunny days were up though, so I was pretty sure he was playing the school card for all it was worth. She didn't mention The Douche unless I asked her about him though, which I tried not to. So apart from the fear that was gnawing inside me, things were actually going better.

Or at least that was what I thought.

We had been sprawling in Charlie's living room, like we usually did when I visited her after school. Bella had gone to check on the dinner, and I let myself slumber a little on the couch. I hadn't gotten much sleep lately. With all the leeches coming back, even though we hadn't seen much of them, there had been a picking up in patrols. Also, with constantly looking out for her house at night, and coming over to see her in the evenings, the only place I could sleep was at school. No wonder why my grades were dropping. But I didn't care. I had more important things to do than algebra.

I jumped a little when the doorbell rang. I got myself up in a sitting position, yawning hugely while Bella went to open the door. It couldn't be Charlie, but I was sure whoever it was would start raising their eyebrows if they saw me swimming around in their living room.

As Bella opened the door, a familiar stench immediately filled my nose. I reacted before I was able to think. I scrambled off the sofa faster than lightening, and was beside her in the door within seconds.

_Fangtastic, _I grumbled.

There wasn't one. There were two. Two leeches on the doormat, waiting to get in. Like hell. I nearly slammed the door shut in their faces – I would have, if Bella hadn't been the one holding the door handle.

Edward was there, looking as ridiculously unruffled as ever. His eyes were first on Bella, and with just a look he was pouring out all the deep love from his heart, pun intended. What heart, indeed. When he was done eyeing her up, he turned to send me a mocking nod. Or maybe he meant it to be polite. I never learnt bug-language.

The psychic was ignoring me completely. She just stood there beaming widely at Bella as if she hadn't seen her in forever. I guess in her mind, that was true too. She almost seemed to drink her in, no pun intended this time, her eyes scrutinizing Bella's face as if memorizing it once again. Gee. She'd seen her a few hours ago, hadn't she? At school? I snorted with no humor. It must be really hard for her not to be able to _see _Bella when I was around.

I was just about to give them a _What-do-you-want-get-the-hell-out, _but Edward beat me to it.

"Hello Bella; Jacob," he said, looking at her while addressing me. Then he turned his eyes to me completely. His face was hard, expressionless, but polite. "I wondered if I could talk to you, please."

"What?" I snarled. I felt Bellas eyes on me, but didn't turn to see what her expression was. I mean, come on. Attack me in a dark alley, fine. But did he have to ring the fucking _doorbell_ first_? _

"Much more civilized, don't you think?" he said, evenly, his eyes twinkling slightly.

"Get out of my head," I rumbled. I felt Bella's confusion beside me, even though I didn't see her face. Edward didn't seem to have heard me.

"What is it?" Bella asked, worry seeping into her voice. "Did something happen?"

When I turned to look at her, her eyes were flickering between the psychic and the Douche. I couldn't help but notice she looked more at him than at her, as if she couldn't tear her eyes off him.

"Nothing has happened," Edward reassured her, his love-pouring gaze turning back to her. "I just wanted a word with Jacob here."

Bella shifted nervously beside me. Alice sighed and tore her eyes away from Bella.

"You don't have to look so suspicious, we wont bite," she said to me, casting me an impatient and annoyed look. No, like hell they would.

Edward drew an unnecessary breath before he started talking.

"I wanted to thank you for taking care of Bella while I was away."

Okay. Not what I was expecting. I'd expected him to say more of 'please step away from the doormat so I can try to tear your head off without leaving stains'. But a thank you? Nope, didn't expect that. _While I was away, _he'd said. How nice he made it sound. Edward continued as if he didn't hear me at all.

"I mean not only you, but all the werewolves. For protecting Bella from both Victoria and Laurent. If we had any idea, we would come back immediately. And we are here now. You don't have to feel like you have to protect her any more– we can take over that part now."

He had the nerve.

"I'm here to protect her from _all _kinds of leeches, " I snarled.

Bella shifted beside me, uneasy. I felt her hand touch my arm, lightly, reminding me where we were and to stay calm. Again, Edward seemed completely unruffled by my response. His eyes lingered a little by her hand on my arm, though.

"I'm sure Bella has told you about this already. But we will all stay at least until we catch Victoria. Until we can make sure Bella is completely safe."

"And how do you know she told me that?" I pressed.

Edward didn't reply, and my suspicions were confirmed. He'd been listening in. Edward avoided my eyes, and I knew I was right. He wasn't just an annoying bug, he was a stalking, annoying bug.

"And then?" I continued. "After we kill Victoria? Then what? Will you leave then?"

"I will stay as long as Bella wants me to," he said, his eyes flickering to her.

"And what if she doesn't want you here?"

"Then I will leave." he said evenly. "But that has to be her wish, not yours."

We both turned to look at Bella, who cringed a little under the pressure of having all eyes on her. I sighed internally. Of course she was no where close to making a wish like that at the moment.

I turned sharply, and stared bluntly back at Edward. "That's all?" _Then you're free to get the hell out of my face._

The Douche actually sighed. At first I thought he would be reluctant to leave, but instead he stilled. Just a little while, just the quarter of a second. He tilted his head to the side, as if listening to something none of us could hear. I narrowed my eyes at him. What did just happen? Without another look at me, he turned to Bells, who hadn't noticed any of this.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school. Take care of yourself, Bella." He sent her a smile, and she returned it with lifting the side of her mouth into a little, sad smile. When she did, I could practically hear his heart hammering in his chest. Oh, wait. How stupid of me. He didn't have one.

Both leeches had taken a step away, when Bella spoke.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. She was looking down at her hands, carefully avoiding everyones gaze. Her voice was kind and soft and very quiet. So quiet I wasn't sure she really spoke at all if I hadn't seen Edward's reaction.

He was standing completely still. Too still. Frozen on his way, still halfway turned towards her. His eyes were frozen too, not quite looking at her, but having her in his peripheral vision. He was listening so hard he was almost vibrating, and it dawned to me that perhaps this was the moment he'd been waiting for all along. Maybe this was the moment I'd been dreading. Maybe she had made up her mind after all. I turned to look at her, feeling my eyes widen with fear as she sent me an apologetic smile.

Before I could do anything, anything to stop her, Bella moved past me and stepped outside. She stretched up on her toes and wrapped her arms around Edwards frozen figure. She hugged him tight to her, burying her face by his neck.

My heart splintered into a thousand pieces and it felt like someone just punched me in the stomach. I could do nothing but stare, I couldn't move any of my limbs even if I wanted to. Was this it? This couldn't be it. It couldn't. I wouldn´t let it. But then she spoke, and I realized she wasn't talking to me.

"I'm sorry," she whispered again, her lips against his ear. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I really am. Something is just different now. I can't help it. I'm so sorry. "

Was this it? Suddenly my heart was soaring with hope. Two, excruciatingly long, numb seconds passed before Cullen seemed able to response. Then he lifted his arms from their frozen post by his side, and wrapped them around her waist. I got a strong urge to tear his arms off, but didn't.

"Don't say you're sorry," he whispered back to her, loud enough for her to hear it. "You are not the one who should be sorry."

I had to grip the door frame, to keep myself from yanking her back beside me. I don't know how long they stood like that. To me it seemed like hours, even though it probably wasn't more than a few aching seconds. While their hug reached out, my hope got subdued. Again, I felt helpless. What if she changed her mind? There was nothing I could do. In the back of my head I heard an approaching car, but didn't care. I was waiting, tiptoeing. Terrified that this was the moment Bella would just change her mind and walk away from me without another look back. I wouldn't let her do that. But there wasn't much I _could _do, really. Other than wait, and wait, and wait.

Not even when the car had reached the driveway, and parked on the crunching gravel, was I able to tear my eyes away from the two of them. Bella stepped away from Edward then, taking her former stance by my side, and I fought the protective urge to step in between her and him. It made me relax a little bit, to have her closer, but I was still tense. Their eyes were still locked, as if they were both having a secret conversation no one else could hear. Edward didn't take his eyes off her, and it didn't look like he was about to for quite awhile. Not even when the door slammed shut with an exceptionally loud bang.

Alice nudged her brothers arm.

"We should get going," she whispered, just when we all heard Charlie's voice booming through the otherwise so silent neighborhood.

"And may I ask what the hell is gong on here?"

If Edward didn't react, Bella sure as hell did. She twirled around towards her dad, who was now approaching our little gathering on the front porch with a already red face. His eyes were not for Bella at all, but fixated on Edward. The vein on his forehead twitched.

"You!" he exclaimed, sounding exactly like a bad cop fished out of a particularly crappy movie.

Charlie stopped on the grass in front of the porch, glaring up at Edward.

"You get down here! Now."

With a last look at Bella, Edward sighed so silently I doubted no one could hear it but me and the psychic. He strode past us, down the porch. Bella was chewing her lower lip so bad it looked like she was trying to swallow it. When he passed her, I couldn't help but notice how her hand twitched as if she wanted to reach out for him. Of course, he had to notice too, and his eyes met hers again. His expression got a little less pained and a little more heart-pouring. My stomach knotted a little and I felt a strong urge to punch him in the face. Apparently, so did Charlie.

"Now!" Charlie roared, nearly stomping his feet in the process. I knew the feeling.

Edward was standing in front of Charlie faster than Charlie had anticipated. Standing in front of each other, they looked oddly different. Charlie was red faced, angry and clearly intent on giving Cullen a lesson to remember. Edward was pale, unruffled and slightly taller, which only made the comparison shrewder. But he managed to pull off the face of regret and shame perfectly. Hell, _I _ nearly believed him. If he was feeling the tiniest little bit amused, he hid it well.

"I can't believe you have the nerve to show up here, boy," Charlie began.

I almost snorted out loud. Boy, indeed. Edward was perhaps a few hundred years older than Charlie. At least old enough to be his grand father. Hell, for all I knew he could be thousands. Super creepy.

"I'm sorry, Chief Swan, I didn't mean..."

Cullen spoke with the voice of honesty and regret.

"Don't you say a word," Charlie threatened, pointing his finger in Edwards face. "Don't you say a word, kid. You've done far enough as it is."

Back to the kid thing again. This was messing with my head. I turned to look at Bella beside me, who was clutching her face with her hands leaving fingermarks all over. She could obviously not see the humor.

"I don't want to see you around here again, do you hear me?" Charlie threatened in a low voice, and I imagined smoke starting to seep out of his ears. "Not on this property, not around my daughter. You have no business coming here after what you did to her."

Bella cringed beside me. I reached out to put my hand on the small of her back. She didn't turn to look at me, but kept her eyes on the drama in front of us. Charlie was now roaring a few profanities, looking at Edward now and then to make sure his words had the effect he wanted. True enough, Edward was looking quite uncomfortable and guilty as ever. If it was real, or fake, I couldn't tell. When Charlie finally emptied of air, and threats, he finished with a last official warning.

"I swear, God help me so, you stay away from her or I will break your neck."

How much Charlie ever tried I doubted he would ever be able to break as much as his little toe.

Charlie continued to grumble, but Cullen was clearly dismissed. With a last look at Bella, Edward turned to leave. The psychic followed, and to my great astonishment she exchanged a few murmured words with Charlie and patted his shoulder in apology when she passed him. I never knew there was a bond there. Must have missed it when I paid attention to the brother.

We watched them leave, and I felt Bella draw a deep breath of air beside me like of she'd been holding it for a long time. But Charlie wasn't done. He turned to glare at us, his eyes narrowing to slits. They found Bella, and she cringed again.

"And what are you thinking, letting him stay here like this?" He roared to her. "Have you learned nothing? And you," he turned to me, still fuming. "You know better than this. You should have kicked him out and locked the bloody door."

Then he swooshed past us and went inside to slam the door loudly in our faces, as if showing me how it was supposed to be done. Oh, I wanted to all right. But I just didn't think that would help much.

I really didn't know how to feel. Bella had sort of dismissed the guy, yeah. And she had said that things had changed. But she also couldn't seem to stop telling him how sorry she was. Over and over. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Was she really _that _sorry things had changed between them? _So_ sorry she had to be stuck with me? Was this really such a horrible solution to it all? My previously soaring hope had turned sour during their exchange.

Bella and I didn't get to do anything but exchange a look, before the door opened again. Charlie strode right past us, back the way he just came. He cast us a murderous glance on the way.

"Get in the car, both of you. We're going to the reservation. I need to talk to your dad." Charlie cast me another sour look as he strode over to his car and yanked the door open. "Get in!" he yelled when we didn't react, clearly out of patience.

Like baffled kids we both stumbled over to the car and got in. Charlie slammed the door with unnecessary force, before he yanked the front door open and got into the drivers seat. He started the engine without another word, pausing only to send us a ominous glare in the rear mirror each time he shifted gears.

We drove in silence. Bella was staring down at her hands in her lap, avoiding both me and Charlie. For myself, I knew I should be happy. I knew I should be content. She'd told the scum things had changed, and that they wouldn't be like before. It was all more than I could hope for, more than I could ever expect, I knew that.

But I just I wanted so much more. I couldn't be content with that. I needed something from her, just a confirmation that in the end, we'd be cool again. Once during our silent drive, our eyes met. She sent me a tiny smile, but I couldn't return it. I wasn't satisfied with only being her second best. I needed to be more than that.

We arrived in front of our little house, the ground all filled with puddles because of the previous rain. Charlie stomped his way out of the car, and we followed as he slammed his door forcefully. Then he twirled around to glare at the both of us.

"Stay here," he barked to Bella, before he twirled back and stalked inside. He managed to step into a few puddles on his way, cursing to himself each time the water splashed around him soaking his shoes. The house shook when he slammed the front door behind him.

I felt Bella standing beside me, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to talk to her yet. I didn't know if I wanted to hear what she had to say. And I had no idea what to say back – my head was still a mess. So instead I turned my back to her and started walking towards the house. She followed. Inside, I could hear Charlie complaining to dad about Cullen, and something about raising teenage girls alone, and something about whether or not it was a good idea to call Renee or maybe ship Bella away to Jacksonville. I didn't worry though. Dad replied with his soothing tone often used when someone had a panic attack, so I guessed Charlie was in good hands. Bella wouldn't be moving anywhere.

When I reached the banister I couldn't prolong it any more, so I stopped and turned to face Bella. She was standing a few steps behind me, worry painted all over her face.

"Jake?" she said, taking a step closer.

My next words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them. "What the hell was all that about?"

My tone was much more harsh than I'd meant it to. And it wasn't like I was mad at her. I regretted it immediately, and was about to take it back when she replied.

"I thought you would be happy?"

The words sounded so absurd I forgot that I wasn't actually mad.

"Happy?" I snorted. "To hear you go on about how sorry you are because you have to settle with the second best?"

"Wha...? I didn't say that!"

"Could've fooled me," I muttered, folded my arms over my chest, and stared up at the sky.

Her reaction wasn't what I'd thought it would be. I'd expected her to get annoyed with me, but she didn't. Instead, she got annoyed with herself. Of course, who was I kidding? This is Bella we're talking about.

"No, no, no," she mumbled to her self. She pinched her eyes shut while grabbing her hair with both hands, tugging it into fists. "That's not what I meant at all. You've got it all wrong." She started shaking her head, still holding her eyes shut and her fists in her hair.

I regretted I'd ever opened my mouth in the first place. She didn't need to torment herself over this. At the same time, I selfishly wanted to know what she _did _mean.

Bella started talking, still keeping her eyes shut. "What I meant to say was...that I know things are different now. And I _want _that. I want them to be different. I feel bad for Edward, because I know this isn't what he is hoping for. I never meant to hurt him more, and I hate that I am hurting him now." She opened her eyes and looked at me, pleading me to understand. "But I can't help what_ I _want. I want you. I want you to stay with me and to be a part of my life. I need you, Jake."

I automatically took a step closer. Her words were like a warm fire; drawing me closer on a cold day. It was just that she actually said it out loud. Finally, for the first time, she actually admitted this to herself. To me. Bella tilted her head back, still looking a bit insecure.

"And I never thought of you as second best," she added quietly.

The puddled, wet surroundings to this old battered house had never been more beautiful than at this moment.

I leaned down towards her, only inches away. I was going to kiss her, I needed to kiss her. I didn't notice how the voices inside had turned suspiciously quiet, or the low shuffling, or the opening of a door. All I could think about was her, and how close she was, how it would feel like to kiss her, and how her scent would –

I paused, so close to her I could feel her breaths on my face. I sniffed a little, and wrinkled my nose. Her scent was there, but it was mingled with the sickening stench of leech. It was basically rubbed in her face. Bella frowned slightly by my hesitation, and I sniffed her again.

"Man, you stink, Bells," I said.

A thrilling laughter escaped her lips by my words, and with a huge grin she spread her arms wide, and threw them around my neck. She pulled me down to her, and then she kissed me happily, just like I'd wanted her to do for so long now. I kissed her back, laughing and kissing her at the same time, and placed my hands tenderly around her waist. My fears slowly melted away under the heat from her mouth. We were good. This was good, right, as it should be. We would be okay.

There was a slightly amused cough behind us. Bella tore her lips away from me, and twirled around by the sound. This made me only laugh even more, but I caught hold of her before she could trip over her own feet. Standing on top of the porch, were both Charlie and dad. They'd just seen that she kissed me, they must have; it was quite obvious on their faces. Both wore similar expressions – they were grinning so widely I might think their ears were going to fall off. Charlie turned to the side to glance at dad, who glanced back at him, and the look they sent each other was clear. It said ´mission accomplished´.

* * *

_A.N: Ah, am I not being good and cliffhangerfree? __I'm still going to bribe you with spoilers if you leave me a review ;)_


	24. Fishing trips

_A.N: _

_Hello there, here is the next chapter for you. FF has been acting a bit weird on me lately, but hopefully that is over by now. Gigantic thank you to kallmecrazy and JJ Twi1ight for adding sense and grammar and other awesomeness. And, thanks for the reviews! They make me all very happy, each and every little one. _

_Just to answer a question from a review - 'These Days' is actually the title of a song from Joy Division. I think the mood of the song fitted this story, and that's part of why I named this story after that. And of course, I like it. Check it out :)_

* * *

_**Fishing trips**_

* * *

_She pulled me down to her, and then she kissed me happily, just like I'd wanted her to do for so long now. I kissed her back, laughing and kissing her at the same time, and placed my hands tenderly around her waist. My fears slowly melted away under the heat from her were good. This was good, right, as it should be. We would be okay. _

_There was a slightly amused cough behind us, and Bella twirled around and away from me by the sound. This made me only laugh even more, but I caught hold of her before she could trip. Standing on top of the porch, were both Charlie and dad. They must have seen that she kissed me, it was quite obvious on their faces. Both wore similar expressions – they were grinning so widely I might think they ears were going to fall off. Charlie turned to the side to glance at dad, who glanced back at him, and the look they sent each other was clear. It said ´mission accomplished´._

* * *

I laughed and pulled Bella back against my side. She was horrified, her face already turning deep red. She eyed our two dads with a nervous expression, but they were still both looking immensely smug – like this happened all thanks to their previous plotting and gossiping. Charlie was beaming, all thoughts of pale wannabeteenage douches blown from his mind, at least for now.

"Knew you'd come to your senses," he muttered, sending Bella a satisfied look. Her blush deepened impossibly, making him laugh.  
"Come on, Bella," he said, a little more stern but still smiling broadly. "We better get home. You're still supposed to be grounded."

He started walking towards the car, ready to drive back.

"Why wont you stay for dinner?" dad suggested, still grinning and sending me a wink. "I'm sure we can find tons to talk about."

Uh huh. I had no doubt.

Charlie seemed to hesitate for a second, but then he declined. "No thanks Billy, I shouldn't. I have some work waiting. But I'll take you up on that offer."

He grinned and opened the door, waiting for Bella to join him. I turned to her too and sighed, unhappy she couldn't stay.

"Well, bye then," she said vaguely in my direction, blushing violently, as she intended to walk straight past me without even a peck on the cheek. I didn't want any of that. As she past me, I grabbed hold of her arm and kissed her goodbye, ignoring her not so subtle eye rolls and whispers like ´_Jake! They'll see´. _When I was done kissing her, her face was back to deep crimson, and she nearly stepped away from me out of embarrassment when she caught Charlie staring at us.

His expression had now turned from satisfaction to thoughtfulness. His eyes were flashing back and forth between the two of us, as if something was just dawning on him. He looked a tad concerned, and like he was thinking very hard about something. I had no idea what he was thinking, but at least he'd forgotten that he was mad before.

Bella slipped past Charlie and got inside the car, her neck still bright red. Charlie got in too, and soon after the car rumbled to life. Charlie waved, dad waved, and Bella sent me a warm, happy smile. I watched until the car disappeared out of view.

"Jacob."

I turned back to my dad still on the front porch, and realized he'd already called my name a few times. He looked at me for a few seconds, studying my poorly hidden goofiness. He smirked a little by my expression, and I braced myself for the inquiring questions which were bound to come. What would he ask first? How this happened, or would he give me another lecture about his days as a young man?

"Help me get back inside, would you?" he said.

That's all. And with a deep exhale, I did.

I helped him inside, and followed him into the kitchen without a word. He started scrambling with casseroles, while I fetched plates and dined the table. Then we started to prepare dinner together in silence. We were a good team like that. We had done this so many times there didn't have to be lots of talking to get things done.

When dinner was ready, I poured us some water, and slumped down on my usual spot while dad settled on his. We both dug in, both hungry, sharing only short phrases from time to time about passing the water and offering more fried potatoes.

He didn't let me off the hook that easily, though.

"Okay," dad finally said when I'd finished my second plate and was about to help myself with the third. "Do I need to fish this out of you like a stubborn salmon, or do you want to spare me the headache and enlighten your old man?"

"Huh?" I mumbled, confused, looking up from my third serving.  
"Fishing it is, then," he muttered to himself. "Okay. Are the Cullen's leaving town?"

"I dunno. Don't think so."

"So Edward is still around?"

"Was today." I shrugged, digging into the food on my plate. Hell, right now not even Cullen could make my mood drop. I'd outed him nicely today. _She said she never figured me as second best. Witch meant I was best. And he was second best, at the most. Maybe third. Or tenth. _Mental self fist bump.

Dad was silent for a while, thinking. He'd finished his food already, and now he was watching me instead.  
"Is there a particular reason why you and Bella are finally out in the open now? And by out in the open I mean to Charlie, since everyone else knew already"  
"Hey," I objected, taking my time to swallow before I replied to his insinuations. "You two walked out on us, remember? It wasn't planned for or anything. We're not that calculating, honestly dad."

Dad shook his head slightly, chuckling. He seemed to realize he needed another approach.

"Are things settled, then?" he asked, his voice quiet. "Did you two work things out? Last time I talked to you about this, you were standing right there by the counter saying things were messy, and you looked a little strangled, son."

I knew what he was asking. He was asking if it was for real this time, final. If she had made up her mind, not just another trip on the roller coaster. I felt the goofiness sneak back on my face. "It's settled, I think. I guess, yeah. We're good. I think. Yup. It has to be."

Dad shook his head to himself as he reached for todays newspaper, mumbling something as to nowadays there was impossible to get a simple answer.

I slipped out around eleven, after getting a few hours of sleep on the couch. It was my turn to run patrols tonight. I stripped off on my way to the garage, and phased when I reached the forest nearby. Paul and Leah were there, along with Jared. Paul and Jared were running alongside the boarder by the coastline, which left me to run with Leah. We were stepping up our patrols now that the place was swarming with leeches. And after what happened with Bella... I shuddered. I wouldn't let that happen again.

_Cool it, Superman, _Leah snorted. She said it in an annoyed manner, but there was something else there as well. Relief? I couldn't know for sure.

_Quit poking in my head, _she barked, and so I did.

_No Cullens? _I inquired. Just checking.

_Damn no, _Paul huffed. _They don't dare sticking their noses this way again. But I'd like to see them try. Damn bloodsuckers._

_It would be fun if they did, _Jared chimed in. _Maybe they'd bring some fresh blood into this dull place._

He snorted a bit at his own joke.

_It's about time something happened here, _Paul thought. _I'm not going to be picky. Any leech would do. _

They continued with their jokes and bickering, both being bored after the past uneventful patrols. I turned my attention back to Leah, who was acting weird again. I realized I hadn't spoken to her since that night I sneaked into Bella's room. She had been acting weird then too, I remembered, and I hadn't been able to figure out why. Now, she was still in that strange mood, her thoughts locked up and emotions mixed. Annoyance, relief and...worry? No, wait, it was more like...

_Will you stop? s_he snapped, as she realized what I was doing. And when she focused on snapping to me, her mind control slipped as well and I could look into her head.

She was annoyed because I was here and because I was poking in her head. I'd figured as much. She was worried because... okay, that was still a little blurry. And she was relieved because she was happy to see me.

Leah Slap-my-face Clearwater was happy to see me. The world had gone mental.

_I'm not! _She snapped. _It's not! Shut up_.

_You are, aren't you? _I smirked at her. _Wow, what do I owe this honor? I admit, it's a bit creepy. _

_Shut up, _she snapped again, and her control slipped once more.

She was relieved because she needed someone to talk to, that someone being me. And she was incredibly annoyed, because she didn't _want _to talk to me. Or anyone.

Especially not about this.

_Talk about what?_ I wondered, puzzled and quite curious. Something was up.

_Nothing is up, shut up and leave me the hell alone! _She yelled, staring intently at her own running paws concentrating hard not to let me inside her head. Jees, this was almost like being on a fishing trip. I could feel that she meant what she said, but at the same time she didn't. How the hell was that even possible? She checked Paul and Jared again, her feelings almost panicked, to make sure they weren't paying attention to our conversation. They were both too preoccupied exchanging vamp jokes to care about us. Everyone mostly tried to tune out Leah anyway, so this was nothing new.

_Jeez, chill your hormones,_ I told her, and by my words her control slipped once more.

There it was again. In her mind, I saw the face of a random kid suspiciously similar to a toddler version of Seth. On each side of the kid were no one else than me and Bella. Our faces were smiling in a ghosty way, bodiless, swimming on each side of toddler-kid. The image was screaming 'happy family' for everyone to hear.

_What the hell? _I barked, before Leah's control slipped away again and I saw something I'd rather not see. In a brief flash she'd been thinking about...Gulp. Female stuff. Christ.

_That's it, I'm phasing back, _she snapped, for the first time seeming ashamed that she hadn't been able to control her thoughts better.

_Wait a sec. You can't just go, _I insisted, but it was already too late. There was a slight pop and Leah was gone. She'd phased back.

If our conversation so far had managed to go unnoticed by the other two, this didn't.

_Jacob? _Jared was puzzled.

_What the hell? _Paul barked as he noticed she was no longer there. _She's supposed to be on patrol, this isn't her night off. I'm not slaving around here if it's not the same rules for everyone._

_I'll go get her, _I muttered, before I phased back myself. No way she was going to back out now. I needed to know what this was about. She couldn't just put all those creepy images in my head and then leave like that.

She wasn't far away, I knew that. Maybe less than a hundred meters. I couldn't see her, but I could hear her as she thrashed away through the trees. I hurried to put on my sweats and the started to jog towards her, the endless blanket of pine needles and dirt muting the sound of my bare feet. I'd catch up with her easily, unless she started running away from me or something. And it wasn't like I planned on chasing her around - even I had my limits.

I spotted her almost immediately. She'd already thrown on her shorts and t-shirt, and had now slumped down crossed legged against the root of a dead tree. She was digging her hand into the dirt rhythmically, squeezing the dead pine needles in her hand each time. She looked angry. I knew she must have heard me coming, but she didn't look up.

"What the hell, Leah?" I quoted Paul as I approached her. She didn't acknowledge my presence at all, just kept pulverizing pine needles between her fingers. I sat down beside her a couple of meters away. "You need to explain this mess," I told her. No response. "Except for that last part, I don't want to know about that. But what the hell was that happy family shit doing there and why was I in it?"

"Believe me, you don't want to know," she muttered finally, never taking her scowl from her own feet.

"Believe me, I do."

"You don't."

"Yes, I do want to know why my face is swimming around in your head next to baby Seth."

"Shut it, you make it sound so creepy."

"Isn't it?" I asked, incredulous and puzzled at the same time. This was freakin' weird.

Leah let out an exasperated sigh, and pulverized another handful of pine needles between her fingers.

"I'm not going to talk with you about this," she told me, especially sour.

"You already are."

"You don't want to know this."

"It starts to get boring when you're only repeating yourself, you know."

Leah sighed again, before she gave up.

"Fine," she snapped in my direction. "You asked for it. It's your fault I'm telling you this anyway."

"My fault?" I said, confused.

"I wouldn't have been thinking this if you hadn't made me," she sulked, more to herself than me. "I was doing really good, you know. But then you had to be a complete moron and ruin it when you misunderstood that night."

She was so not making sense.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I told her.

"That night when Quil thought you'd made him an uncle."

_Oh. _That_ night._ What did _that _have to do with anything?

"Erm."

"You asked for it." Leah took a deep breath, glaring at her feet. "Thing is..." She stopped to exhale loudly before she finished. "I can't."

"Okay, you know what?" I said. "It's fine that you can't tell me, I changed my mind. I don't really want to know. If this involves baby-Seth and condoms, I'm out."

"Butthead, this has nothing to do with my brother," she snapped, frustrated. "You've got it all wrong. Besides, I just told you. I can't. That's it. That's the big secret."

She cringed a little as she said it, and I could basically hear her wallow in her own misery. I had still no idea what she was blabbering about. I felt like I'd just missed something that passed right under my nose.

"What?"

She slumped a little beside me, and I could clearly see she regretted telling me anything in the first place. But still, she continued as if she just couldn't help it. It was as if she felt better thinking about it than trying not to be thinking about it.

"It didn't really cross my mind before that night you went over to Bella. When you thought you'd screwed up big time. Literary."

I snorted. What a way to put it.

"For a few hours there we all really thought you'd...you know, done the big deed, and it just... It got me thinking. And thing is, I can't. It's not like I've ever wanted to have one before, hell no, but now... It's sad to be missing out on it. I'm just a genetic dead end. Makes me feel even less female."

I waited patiently for her to enlighten me about the Big Thing, but then I realized she was done explaining and I still didn't get it. Leah just sat there, looking miserable and defeated. She didn't seem as grumpy as before though, almost as if she was actually relieved to finally have told me. Whatever it was. I was clearly missing out on something.

"Do you have to speak in riddles?" I asked her plainly. "Call me stupid, but I really have no clue what you're trying to say."

Leah snapped her head up to look at me then, her expression turning from defeated to annoyed and from annoyed to incredulous.

"Christ, how thick can you get? Fine, I'll make it real simple. I won't be able to have kids, Jacob. Because I am what I am. There, I said it. Is that plain enough for you, or should I spell it for you as well? Or maybe you need it written down. I could print it into your forehead if you want."

I was speechless for a second. And for another second. And then another. Somehow I couldn't make 'Leah' and 'kids' fit in the same sentence. I mean, I immediately felt bad for her, and she was clearly unhappy about it. But this conversation was seriously absurd and I'd ran out of replies. I tried to wrap my head around what she'd just told me.

"Man," I said lamely. "I'm ... Uhm. Sorry?"

To my great surprise, she barked out a laugh at that.

"Wow, Jacob. I'm impressed. You really know how to make a woman feel better, don't you? You're so hopeless."

She laughed again, and I let out a little breath of relief that she was getting back to her usual self. In one fluid movement she pushed herself off of the ground, spraying pine needles all over me. I got up on my feet too. When I looked over at her, she seemed to be back to her usual self. Looking a bit glum perhaps, but still normal. I was glad. The sentimental Leah was starting to freak me out there. Leah turned and started walking back into the forest the way we came before. Without another word, I joined her.

I thought over what she'd just told me. It had never crossed my mind how being a wolf could effect other parts of human life, other than in the obvious way. And that it was even more different for Leah, because she was a girl.

"But I mean it," I said after a few moments of silence. "Really. I'm sorry."

"I know," she said quietly, almost too low for me to hear. "Sorry I'm pushing this in your face, it has just been eating up my mind for a while. I needed to get it out."

"Sure."

"I warned you, remember? I told you you didn't want to know."

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see she smirked slightly to herself.

"Nah, I'm glad you told me," I said. "And really, your mind control truly sucks."

"Like you're one to talk."

"Oh, shut up."

"Doucheface."

"Assface."

"Horndog."

"Butthat."

And just like that, we were back to normal.

* * *

We didn't speak or think about it again that night. We phased back, and returned to our usual patrols as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. Paul complained a bit about Leah's sudden dissappearance, but she threatened to bite his head off in a very graphic way that made him roll his eyes and mind his own business. The night passed without any other mentionable events.

When I finally was off, it was already dawn. I went back inside, found dad still sleeping and then went into my own room. I fell down on my bed, asleep before my head hit the pillow. I woke by dad yelling my name. I startled up in bed, looking around wildly for something wrong, until I realized what he was saying.

"Jacob! Phone for you!"

Oh, right. I grumbled a little as I sat up, taking my time to wake up.

"It's Bella!"

I was in the living room before five seconds had passed. Dad rolled his eyes at me as he handed me the phone.

"Hello?" I said eagerly, my voice gruff. I knew nothing could be wrong, the pack was looking out for her house. Dad started to wheel out from the kitchen to give me some privacy, a knowing look upon his face.

"Jacob! I'm free!" she exclaimed over the phone. She was nearly yelling with excitement, making me jump back a little. Yelling into a overly sensitive ear isn't really a good idea. She continued, completely unaware. "Charlie just de-grounded me!"

"He did?" I asked, feeling some of her excitement sneak over to me. "So you can come whenever you want?" To have her over at La Push would make it all so much easier.

"Yup!" she grinned; I could hear her smile. "It's all because he saw me kissing you, you know. He finally thinks I'm sane again. I should just have kissed you ages ago, and I wouldn't be grounded at all."

"Careful," I warned her. "Or I might start thinking you were only kissing me to please Charlie."

"Oh please," she snorted. "If I wanted to please him I would've become a nun. Do you want to come over?"

"Sure," I said, and turned to look out the window. It was already staring to get dark outside. Man, how long had I been sleeping? My stomach rumbled loudly, and for the first time I realized how hungry I was. It felt like someone had punched a whole through my stomach. "I guess I better eat something first. I'll make dinner and then come over, okay?"

My stomach rumbled again, and I wondered if she could hear it over the phone.

"Great!" she said, and then "See you then," before she hung up.

I got dressed and then started to make dinner as fast as I could. My stomach was now complaining loudly, so I ate some while making dinner as well. Dad joined me after a while, and after about half an hour, dinner was ready and waiting. After we had eaten and cleaned up, I got to get my car keys and went outside into the quiet night. Fifteen minutes later, I parked outside Bella's house and went to knock on the door.

I waited, and heard her come down the stairs to open. When she did, I noticed immediately her face was more red and flushed than usual.

"Hi, Jake," she said in a low voice. Her smile widened when she saw me, but she seemed to be a bit preoccupied because she frequently cast glances over her shoulder and into the living room.

"What's up?" I asked her, leaning forward to kiss her. She let me kiss her briefly, but pulled away quickly while glancing over her shoulder. I leaned forward to peek over her shoulder as well. I could only see Charlie's feet slung over the tip of the sofa and the tv glowing in front of him.

"Come in," Bella said, nudging my shoulder a little and ignoring my question. I followed her into the kitchen, popping my head into the living room to say hi to Charlie. He was sitting in front of the TV, sipping on a beer. He replied with a guarded "Hello" and sent me a suspicious look. Huh. That was weird. I entered the kitchen, to find Bella in one of the chairs with her face in her hands.

"What was all that about?" I asked in a hushed tone as I sat down opposite her.

Bella sighed and shook her head. To my great astonishment, her cheeks started to redden even more.

"Nothing," she muttered.

"Uh huh," I said, unconvinced. "Tell me."

"Gah." She lowered her forehead to the table and whispered, "Charlie just insisted to have _the talk _with me."

I blurted out something between a laugh and a cough.

"It's not funny!" Bella hissed, sending me a sour look. "It was horrible." She lowered her voice to make it darker, imitating Charlie. "'_Now that you and Jacob have become more than friends, there might come a time when you will also want to_ _explore your relationship'. _Gah. _'You are now 18 years old Bella, and I know you are a responsible girl, but...' _Oh, just kill me, kill me now."

I tried my best to keep my grin in check. It truly was a tragedy I hadn't been there to see it.

"Stop grinning, it's not funny," Bella hissed again, glaring at me. "Your dad didn't just explain to you about '_physical relationship between a girl and a boy'. _It was horrible." She shook her head. "Do you wanna go outside? I need some fresh air. This kitchen holds traumatic memories right now."

I grinned at her and stood up, ignoring her scowl. "Sure. Come on, Bells."

We didn't get longer than to the front door, though.

"You kids going somewhere?" Charlie called from the living room. His voice was loaded with suspicion. We both turned to the living room, where he was looking at us through suspicious slits while clutching his beer.

"We'll just be out on the porch," Bella hurried to say, staring at the ceiling.

"All right. Fine." Charlie said, sending Bella an inquiring look. "Just remember what we just talked about, Bella." He sent me another look without even trying to be inconspicuous about it. Seriously? This was almost hysterical. I felt Bella begin to blush beside me as her cheeks heated up.

Oh, I just couldn't help it.

I took a few steps into the living room, reached out and patted Charlie on the back. "Don't worry, Charlie. We are as safe as we can be."

Charlie choked on his beer, spraying Heineken out the whole living room. I grinned at first – I knew he would react in some way. But when the choking didn't stop immediately, I started to get a little worried and bumped his back again. Just in case.

"What did you just say?" Charlie wheezed out, turning to look at me with a horrified expression that quickly matched his daughters. No wait, I take that back. Bella was worse, she was beyond mortified. What was up with these two? Her whole face and neck was redder than the most dangerous lipstick; I could see it from under her hands which she'd buried her face in.

"I just thought I'd let you know there's no need to worry," I repeated myself.

"Now, wait a minute there!"

Charlie was now bright purple, as he scrambled up from his chair. It whined loudly. He stood in front of me, trying to gather up his thoughts and become in control over this conversation. "Wait just a minute!" he said again, and pointed a finger at me.

"Did you just tell me what I think you told me?"

I smiled slightly, amused. "That depends what you think I told you."

Gee, I was no bloodsucking mind reader.

"Are you saying that you two already...? When...? How...it's...I'm...Why are you telling me this? I shouldn't know things like this! I don't want to know details of this type of thing!"

By this time I almost expected him to cover his hands over his ears, as if I'd just told him what Bella's favorite position was. _As if I knew, _I thought dryly.

I shrugged, unaffected by his still pointing finger. Charlie never got really mad at me, not for long anyway. And it was not like I'd done anything wrong. I think. Did this count as wrong?

"I just though I'd save you the sleepless nights," I said, taking a step back with my palms up in a movement of surrender. "That's all. Just to tell you as it is. Save you the trouble of having to worry about it."

To put it like this; when Charlie, Chief of the "I'm denying my daughter is 18 years old" club, sits down to have _the talk _with said daughter, I'd bet my motorcycle there were both sleepless nights and brooding daylight hours behind it. Nothing spur of the moment about this.

Charlie guffawed a few times, mumbled something vaguely similar to threats and then sent me a few scowls, before he lowered his finger from my face. He was still scowling when he tried to form a reply. "So you're...? You say that...? It's... Hm."  
I really had no idea what he was trying to say. He tried again.

"You're...That's... You're being honest?"

I nodded slowly, appraising his expression. He might just kick me out that door any second for all I knew. Charlie guffawed again when he saw my expression.

"Ah, get that look off your face, I wont shoot you," he grumbled. He sent me another stern look, but he was no longer scowling, I noticed. His frown eased slightly. "That's...err... I appreciate that you're being honest, Jacob, god knows I've had enough of..." his voice trailed away, and his words melted together and became incomprehensible as he muttered to himself. When he looked up again, his frown was nearly gone, leaving just a little bit uneasiness on his face.

"So, I can..err...trust you to be...harr..._safe_ then?" he mumbled, scrutinizing my face with a sideways glance.

"Yes," I assured him.

Oh, I just couldn't help it.

"Your daughter is in good hands," I added, and it took all I had not to crack up by the expression he sent me. Bad joke, bad joke. Hands, indeed. Charlie's eyes widened in disbelief at first, but then he realized I was only messing with him.

"Shut it, kid," he barked, smiling slightly and sounding much more like his usual self. "You don't want to push that limit. I still have my gun around here somewhere. "

He was joking, but he was serious too. He turned back to his chair and his beer, bumping his hand on my shoulder in the process. And just like that, we were back to normal.

"Wouldn't you loose your job if you used that gun on me?" I murmured quietly to myself as I turned and went over to the door. Bella had for some reason mysteriously disappeared outside during our conversation. I heard the chair whine, as Charlie sat back down in the living room.

"Oh, that's the least thing you should worry about," I heard him mutter behind me as he turned his attention back to the TV.

Bella was leaning against the wall outside on the porch, her hands digging into her hair. If I didn't know better, it looked like she'd just banged her head into the wall several times. Her face was deep red, and her expression was ... yup, still mortified. I closed the door behind me as I walked outside, and turned to look at her in amusement.

"Please tell me you didn't just do that," Bella prayed, looking at me as if she'd just had a nightmare.

I shrugged. "What's the big deal? He was thinking it anyway. I just said it out loud. It's cool."

"But he didn't _know_," she wheezed out, turning to glare at me with eyes as huge as plates. "I didn't tell him we _already did it. _He might be thinking it but he really had no idea!_"_

"Oh," I said, unfuzzed. "Well, now he knows then."

Bella moaned and fell back into the wall. I grabbed her wrist to pull her towards me, away from the dangerous hard surface and possibility of self inflicted damage.

"What do you wanna do now?" I asked her, trying to get her mind over to other things.

"Die," she moaned.

I snorted. "Come on Bells, it wasn't _that _bad." She just rolled her eyes at me, and I grinned. "Come on, you're off the hook now. You can go wherever you want."

"No, I can't" she contradicted me, finally letting go of my conversation with Charlie. "I still have to be home by eleven. How about we just hang out here now, and then we can go somewhere tomorrow?"

"Sure," I grinned. "Do you have something special in mind?"

"How about we go to the cliffs or something?"

I raised one eyebrow at her. "Eager to jump, are we?"

"No, stupid. It doesn't really matter where we go. I just thought it would be nice. You know, to be alone with you for once. Just you and me."

She sent me a little smile when she said it, as if she was wondering wether or not I would want that.

_Uhm. Hot girl wants you to come outside with her so you two can be completely alone for the first time in what seems like a century. _

"Sure," I hurried to say, and felt the grin widen over my face. "Count me in."

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_A.N: _

_Please consider leaving a review, it would make me very happy. I'm still shamelessly bribing you with spoilers if you do :)_


	25. Noises

_A.N: My apologies on the little delay in posting – my exams are eating on my time, making my schedule run ahead of me. But this story is still very much alive and not about to be abandoned, in case you wondered ;)_

_Thanks for sweet reviews, and thanks to JJ Twi1ight whom without you would all have a much more developed imagination, because you would constantly have to find excuses for my lack of punctuality and having to cover up some major plot flaws._

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**Noises**

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_Bella's point of view_

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Finally. Finally, finally, finally. For the first time in days, weeks, everything started to sort itself out. I wasn't grounded anymore. I was free to be down at La Push with Jacob. We were out in the open – both Billy and dad finally knew about our relationship. Or, at least some of it. Dad wasn't angry with me – on the contrary, he was pretty much pleased with himself.

He'd been walking around the whole morning, singing and whistling. He was grinning at me when I got down for breakfast today, the food already on the table. When he asked if I had any plans for today, and I had said I was going to see Jacob, dad had only grinned wider while saying. "Good thing, kiddo, good thing." He was so extremely pleased I seemed to be moving on spite everything, he was beyond himself.

I was still immensely mortified after yesterday's talk, both the _talk _with my dad and then, oh my goodness, the _talk_ between Jacob and dad. But dad seemed only pleased to be done with it, it no longer being his responsibility to bring up. He'd done his duty as parent. And, spite the awkwardness of it, I really think he appreciated Jacob's bluntness on the subject. God heavens I was never that straight forward about these things. But Jake was, and Charlie seemed to appreciate the honesty and not sneaking around. Not that we had been sneaking anywhere, but still.

I looked over at Jacob, sitting next to me behind the wheel in my truck. It was a good day, the sky a dull grey with a few beams of sun peaking through the clouds now and then. Jacob was driving with one hand on the wheel, the other hand clasped around mine, talking happily about tonights patrols with Leah and Quil. Apparently Quil had for a second thought about peeking at Leah when she phased, and Leah had given him hell about it the whole night.

"She can be quite hilarious when she's pissed, as long as she isn't pissed at you. But to watch her being pissed at someone else is kind of entertaining. You should have seen Quil. His ego was seriously shrinking to the size of a pea the way she was yelling at him. I almost felt bad for the guy."

Jacob started laughing, and I grinned and squeezed his hand, willing him to go on. I never wanted him to stop. Jacob continued with his story, and I leaned my head back against the seat content with just watching him and listening to his voice. Right now, everything seemed perfect. Right here, right now, this very day.

Or, I guess it wasn't _perfect. _Victoria was still out there somewhere, trying to hunt me down. The pack was constantly running shifts, guarding my house at all times. Jacob had gotten permanent shadows under his eyes from lack of sleep.

And then there was Edward. I didn't really know how to solve that part. He was still here, looking out for me in school and taking care of me and protecting me from Victoria the best way he could. He was handling the situation we were in better than I could ever have expected from him, much better than I had. He knew I was with Jacob, and he was trying his best to act as the perfect friend. I knew he still loved me, and I knew he deep down hoped I would change my mind and come back to him. Even after I'd told him I was sorry that time on the porch, I knew he was still hoping. Always hoping.

I remembered that first day I'd seen him, after he came back. When he had saved me from Victoria. Saved my life. It had been a shock. He had taken my breath away. I had been so thankful for not dying, and to see him there when I least expected it had been too much to handle. I'd had an enormous flashback of the months before he left, and I realized how much I still cared for him.

Things were different now. When I'd spoken to him later, in the days that followed, and when he had explained everything that had happened between us and why, it changed. I guess maybe it had been different for quite a long time, I just didn't realize it until then.

He wasn't perfect to me anymore. Before, he'd been perfect, flawless, an angel in human disguise. Now, he wasn't. I had slowly realized that some parts of our previous relationship just wasn't right. I had been too dependent on him, and he had loved me way too much for his own good. It crossed the line, we both did. And it hadn't been right of him to leave the way he did, even if he did it with the best intentions. I didn't blame him or anything, not at all. It was just different. We were different. Now he was every bit as wonderfully flawed as me and Jacob and everyone else. Or maybe not _every_ bit as flawed – but he had his weak points too, and I was finally able to see them. Just as it should be. I liked it better this way. I didn't feel so small now.

I closed my eyes and remembered back to yesterday at lunch. I had been sitting outside with my usual crowd, when Edward had come to join me by my perch on the bench. He usually joined me during school, either in class or in the breaks. We could talk without being overheard; the Cullens were still regarded as strange, so no one really cared to listen in on our conversation.

"_Where is Alice?" I asked him, as he sat down lightly beside me on the bench._

_I watched his face as he chuckled quietly. "I guess she's somewhere trying to make out your future. You're making my sister crazy, you know that? You are almost completely blank to her now. She's never been this frustrated before. I swear, yesterday her face was starting to turn blue with concentration."_

"_I don't believe you, Edward," I laughed, happy that we could have this easy joking tone between us. _

_Edward chuckled again, shaking his head to himself. "Honestly. You should have seen her."_

_He turned to look at me, and slowly his smile became solemn. I gazed back at him, wondering what to say next. I guess the easy light tone couldn't keep forever. _

"_I'm sorry if I made Charlie mad at you yesterday," he said. "I know I should have left sooner. I never meant to give you any trouble."_

_I just smiled. "Don't worry. He degrounded me, actually. I'm sorry he yelled at you like that, don't listen to him. He doesn't know what he's talking about. He was just upset."_

_Edward smiled his crooked smile, one corner of his lips lifting up. "No, I guess I deserved that one. But I'm glad you're no longer grounded."_

_I smiled at him, but didn't say anything else. We sat in silence for a little while. _

"_Are you happy?" he suddenly asked me, after studying my face for a few moments. He turned his eyes on mine with full force, his beautiful caramel eyes gazing into mine. Once, that look had made my knees go weak. Not now. Not since that first shock of seeing him again. Of course, he was still beautiful. He always had been, always would be. But he didn't make my knees tremble._

"_Yes," I said honestly. "I'm a little confused about this whole thing, but I think so."_

"_Were you happy before? Before I came here?" he wondered quietly. I studied his face for a long time, trying to decipher his expression, but he seemed only completely calm. Like if he truly was interested and curious and wanted nothing more than for me to be happy._

"_Yes," I finally said. "I was. In the end, I was. But I am happy you came back, too."_

_He smiled at that, and turned his eyes out on the school yard. We sat there silently side by side for a few minutes, neither of us having the need to fill it with pointless chattering._

"_You love him," he said suddenly, taking me completely off guard. I knew he must be talking about Jacob – who else, really? His voice was calm, completely relaxed and natural. As if he was only stating the obvious. He was right, I guess. But Jacob and I hadn't talked about that yet._

_Edward turned to look at me when he realized I wasn't going to reply. I didn't know what to say. I could feel the uncertainty on my face._

"_You do," he insisted, with a slight smile. "I know you, Bella." He smiled, his eyes warm and affectionate. How he could talk about this so calm was beyond me. I knew he was sad things were not like before between us. Sad being in lack of other words. He might know me, but I knew him as well. And even if things were different, I didn't want to hurt him more than I already had. He didn't deserve that. I did care for him, and he deserved nothing but the best. _

"_I love you too," I said, trying to be honest. "I care for you. Just … just not the same way as before. It's different now."_

"_I know," he sighed, and turned his gaze back to the school yard. His tone was not resentful, not even sad. Just relaxed and at ease. "You love him more," he said. And as he did, I knew he was right._

I opened my eyes, and got myself back into the presence. Today was not a day to worry about this. This would all sort itself out somehow. I guess in some way it had. Or I least I hoped it would.

"...And then, I swear I heard his joints crack, but Leah held him down by the neck. Quil's stronger, but Leah never gives up. She's insane like that. And then she just kicks his side and _bam _he rolls around like a spring roll. It was hilarious."

Jacob turned to grin at me, and I smiled back at him. Yes. It would all sort itself out. I loved just being here, listening to him talk. He really was sort of beautiful. He was wearing a tight black t-shirt, dressed for the occasion I'm sure. I followed the veins and muscles with my eyes, up his neck and disappearing into his pitch black hair. No, not sort of. He was beautiful. Really.

"Everything okay?" he asked, cocking his head to the side as he turned to look at me. "You're so quiet."

I smiled a genuine smile. "Yeah. I'm just happy to be here with you, that's all."

I truly was. There was no other place on earth I'd rather be than here with Jacob. He grinned back and squeezed my hand lightly before returning his eyes to the road.

He parked the truck by the side of the road under a little hill, close to the cliffs. I got out, and we followed the edge of the pointy rocks until we reached the cliffs. Not the ones on the top, but the ones further down, not far above the crashing waves. The view here was still fantastic though.

I looked up, and could clearly see the spot where I'd jumped those months ago. I don't think I'd ever realized how _tall _it actually was. It was so different to look up at it than to look down, strange as that might sound. It seemed much more intimidating from here. Maybe it wasn't so weird that Jacob had nearly freaked out when I'd jumped that first time after all. Good thing I wasn't afraid of heights.

I felt a slight nudge in my left hand, and turned to find Jacob watching me. I squeezed back, his hand warm in mine. I knew he'd noticed I was eyeing the cliffs.

"I like you, you know," I said, as I strolled over to sit down by a bigger rock a little while away from the cliff edge. This wasn't a place for cliff diving though; below the edge was only more rocks, no water. I leaned against the hard stone and closed my eyes against the light coming from the blurred sky. I felt Jacob laugh as he sat down beside me.

"Well, that's good to know," he chuckled, and I felt his arm slide around my waist. "I sort of like you too."

"What kind of answer is that?" I retorted, pretending to be offended. "Here I tell you I like you, and what do you say? You _sort of _like me. Jeez Jake, what a compliment."

I turned to grin at him, and his eyes twinkled at me from the shadows under his eyebrows. I leaned against him, letting both his arms pull me closer. His chest vibrated under my cheek with silent laughter, and I watched the waves crashing in the horizon. The air was fresh and salty, the wind from time to time whipping my hair over my face. It was a perfect moment.

"Were everyone out running tonight?" I wondered lazily without taking my eyes off the waves, thinking about his story about Quil and Leah.

"Nah," he said. "Not everyone. Embry and Seth were off, and Jared was over at Kim's I suppose, as normal. I swear, Sam's giving him special privileges."

He said it as a joke, but I thought I could detect some bitterness in his voice.

"Special privileges?" I repeated. "Why?"

It took Jacob one beat longer than usual to answer. "Uhm," he finally said. "It's nothing. Just some werewolf-stuff."

"Werewolf-stuff?" I repeated again, not understanding.

There was another brief pause. I turned around to peek at him. Jacob was already looking at me, his lips slightly pressed together as if he was debating with himself. A shadow crept over his face.

"I guess you should know," he said, more to himself than me. I only looked at him, wondering what this was all about. "Bells," he finally said, drawing a deep breath while tightening his arms around my waist. "Have you ever heard of imprinting?"

I sat silently, listening to his words as he explained. They confused me at first, and I didn't understand what this had to do with him. Or any of the guys in the pack for that matter. But then I understood.

Imprinting. Something froze within me at the word. One look, that's all it took. While Jacob talked, other words started to swim around in my head too. Words like 'soul mate' and 'destiny' and 'love' and 'unconditionally'. Jacob's voice turned bitter, and I didn't have to ask to understand that he didn't like it.

"I hate it," he said anyway. "We all do."

His arms around me were heavy now, holding me to him in a way that could no longer be described as casual. Still they could not take away the stone-like feeling in my gut, sinking lower and lower while I listened to his words.

I couldn't help but realize something, something that made it all so many times worse. _Jacob had not imprinted on me. _This sentence replaced the words already swimming around in my head. He hadn't imprinted on me, which wiped out all those all those other words; neither 'soul mate' or 'destiny' were no longer right for the two of us. I was glad he hadn't – I had no wish to have a bond over him like that, some weird wolfy magic forcing him to like me, giving him no other choice. But this also meant something even more terrifying; if not me, then it meant that someone else … One look. Done deal. Nothing I could do about it.

"It's a lot of bullshit," he finished darkly, absentmindedly threading his fingers through my hair. "It's not normal, in the beginning we only thought it was a myth. So far there's only Sam and Jared, but it's not very likely that it will happen again."

"So far?" I repeated, hanging on to those two, simple words. My voice sounded funny. Was it only me, or did it sound like he wanted to reassure himself as well as me?

Jacob smiled then. "Don't think about it," he said. "It's not cool, but that's their problem. It has nothing to do with us."

I settled back in his arms, turning my eyes back to the sea. My attention was another story though. The words were still swimming around in my head, not wanting to leave. We sat silently for maybe a whole minute, the uneasy feeling in my stomach growing bigger as the clouds of doubt came closer.

"Jacob?" I asked quietly, trying to suppress the doubt that was growing inside me. I tried to ignore it, but it just wouldn't do.

"Mmm?" he mumbled, his voice sleepy but otherwise unreadable.

"What if you imprint?"

I couldn't look at him, but glued my eyes to the crashing waves. I felt his head lift, and then he tilted my face up making me look at him anyway. He looked both serious and surprised and defiant at the same time. His eyes searched mine, his brows furrowed.

"I wont," he said, searching my eyes again.

I swallowed, and tried to delete the doubt in my gut. He lifted his hand to rest it on the back of my neck. It sent a shock of warmth down my spine. I knew he meant it, but somehow that still didn't ease the doubt.

"You can't know that," I told him truthfully. It wasn't his fault, I knew that. If that happened, he couldn't help it. I didn't blame him. I just had no idea how I would be able to survive it.

Jacob seemed to hear every thought passing through my head. His eyes darkened some as he took in my expression.

"I wont," he said again, pressing his lips together. I knew he meant it.

_That's not something you can promise me, _I thought, but didn't say anything. I just nodded. I knew there was no point in thinking about this now. We wouldn't get anywhere, because there was nothing any of us could do about it. Apart from locking Jacob up in my room to be sure he would only see me for the rest of our lives. Which was absolutely twisted and frighteningly tempting.

I smiled, trying my best to make it real. Jacob didn't smile back. Hm. Obviously I was doing a poor job. He lifted one hand to catch a stray of hair that was dancing over my forehead. He slowly tucked it behind my ear before he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine.

A rush of heat spread throughout my whole body, successfully and smoothly erasing the doubt in my stomach. I was glad; I was tired of worrying. His mouth was so unbelievably warm, and I melted into him never wanting to let him go. The warmth from his body wrapped around me, enclosing me in our own private bliss. The wind couldn't whip against my cheek anymore. Not with my personal sun around. He still had one blistering hand resting behind my neck, and I could feel my cheeks starting to heat up.

He kissed me long, not letting go. I didn't want him to. I was glad he didn't. I sneaked my hands up to rest on his shoulders, pulling him closer while he tightened his hand around my neck. His breath was warm and damp against my cheek. When I pulled back, he was already looking at me. His eyes were twinkling above his tall cheekbones.

"Feeling better?" he wondered.

"Much better," I said, as I stretched back up to kiss him again. The doubt had been pressed aside for me to worry about later, replaced by pure contentment.

The world became warm. It became blissful and fantastic and amazing. His lips wrapped around mine, and my heart reeled. This was different. It had been so long since he had kissed me like this. Not urgent, not stressed out. Not out of fear. Not polite, not as if one of our dads was around. Not joyful and smiling either. He kissed me seriously, taking his time for once not in any rush. Oh it felt good.

Something warm and nervous had started tingling in my stomach. His hands moved to my waist, moved up and down my sides. My own hands were quickly running out of my own control, having their own way with the muscles of his arms and shoulders. I stroked my fingertips down to the hem of his t-shirt, and sneaked my fingertips under it. He shuddered as my fingers came in contact with his skin. I inched his shirt up, touching his stomach. The tingling in my stomach increased, and his hands around me tightened. He drew a deep, unsteady breath. I was just considering how visible we would actually be to other possible hikers and if I really cared at all, when his lips suddenly disappeared. _Hey, what-? _One second he had been kissing me, but now he was gone. I opened my eyes slowly, a little dazed.

Jacob wasn't looking at me. His head was turned abruptly to the side, eyed open and alarmed. I had barely had time to take him in properly, when his long fingers wrapped around my upper arm and abruptly dragged me to my feet. He yanked me back, away from the cliff edge and the whipping wind. I stumbled beside him, his movements too fast for me to be able to keep up. His hand on my arm didn't let go though, so I didn't fall.

"Jake...?" I choked out, my voice breathless with surprise and all the yanking. "What's-?"

"Shush," he cut me off, never taking his eyes away from the edge of the cliff. Not the edge facing the sea, but the one to the right. I didn't know what was over that edge, other than more rocks. Jacob dragged me with him until one of the big rocks was pointing in my back and we couldn't get further. Then his grip around my arm tightened, and he very distinctively put himself in front of me. His other hand had turned into a fist. I stood behind him, trying to be as silent as my heaving breaths could be to his overly sensitive ears.

"Vampire," he said, through gritted teeth. My insides froze for a second, and I searched my mind to find any reason, any reason at all why Edward would come here now. He knew he couldn't come here, he knew there would only be consequences if he did. He wouldn't be breaking the treaty unless he had a very good reason to do it, and I had no idea what that might be. Whatever it was, I didn't understand why Jacob was being this defensive. He knew Edward would never hurt me, or at least he should know that by now. I opened my mouth to argue, for a second annoyed with Jacob for overreacting this badly and possibly giving me a heart attack, when out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of red.

The next things happened very fast. My insides froze again, and this time it didn't pass. One second, Jacob was covering my every view, and I couldn't see anything other than his t-shirt clad back. The next moment he was gone, leaving a gush of cold wind in his wake. A few meters in front of me, crouching and letting out snarls that were nothing less than terrifying, was a reddish brown enormous wolf. With him not pressed up against me, I could see everything.

There, on the edge of the cliff, with hair blowing wildly in the wind like it had in all my nightmares, was Victoria. She was soaked, and she was crouching. She had her blood-red eyes fixed on the wolf in front of her, not sparing a glance at me. I knew her ears were fixated on me though, listening to each and every thundering beat from my heart that I knew she so badly longed to crush. My breath hitched as I took in her terrifying exterior.

Jacob's tail brushed against my stomach, as if making sure I stayed where I was.

She looked wild. Her dripping clothes told me she had very obviously just appeared from the water. Which also explained why Jacob hadn't smelled her earlier. I remembered the last time I'd seen her as if it happened yesterday. It didn't feel like a long enough time ago.

A deep rumble was running through Jacob's body. I could feel it as the ground vibrated beneath my feet. Victoria snarled. Jacob snarled back.

"I'd like to go slow," Victoria said, just loud enough for me to hear, her thin lips transforming from a smile into a grimace. "But I've run out of time."

Then she lunged.

I felt Jacob's tail whip against my shoulder and I stumbled backwards with eyes closed reflexively and arms in front of my face. I fell, and landed hard on the cold ground against the big rock. I heard a terrifying crash, and the snapping sound of teeth and a heavy, rumbling exhale that turned into another growl.

When I opened my eyes, because it was too unbearable to keep them shut, Jacob was still blocking the path between Victoria and me. I noticed the fur on his right side was wet. Victoria was perched in front of him, looking angrier and deadlier than ever.

There must be something I could do. I would have to do something. Jacob couldn't beat Victoria. He was strong, but she was deadly. He had no idea how deadly she could be. I would have to do something. I just had no idea of what. Calling the chief of police just wasn't really an option in this situation. The only thing I could think about to do was to throw myself over the cliff and hope that Victoria would follow. The only problem was that she was sort of blocking my way to get there. And Jacob would probably get killed trying to prevent me.

Through squinted eyes I watched as he blocked her again, not letting her get near me. He started to corner her up, pushing her dangerously close to the cliff edge. Maybe he was winning, I had no idea. Her movements were too fast for me to see, as were his. It was like if they didn't move at all, except that they did. Or maybe it was me almost passing out. This just wasn't happening. I felt my eyes close, too horrified to be able to keep them open. It didn't block out the terrible snarling though.

The shuffling grew more violent. Paws thumping, jumping, slipping. Snarl. Ice cold laughter. Growl. More shuffling. Heavy, rumbling breaths. A earth shattering crack. A hiss. Rumble. Thumping. Paws planting themselves firmly on the ground. Hiss. Snarl. Paws leaping.

Then I heard the terrifying sound of ripping, of breaking, then the even more terrifying sound of stumbling paws that lost contact with the ground. I opened my eyes wide, and yelled out just as the wolf stumbled over the edge along with a shadow of red flamboyant hair. The next second I was left alone on the clearing between the rock and the edge, companied only by a unmoving, marble, headless body. It took me half a second before I realized I was staring at the remains of Victoria. Jacob had actually, literally, torn her head from her body. Jacob, and mentioned head, was no longer to be seen.

The sound of soft flesh hitting rock hard stone was the most terrifying sound of them all.

I was up on my feet faster than my brain was able to acknowledge, scrambling my way over to the edge while giving the unmoving form of marble white a wide berth. When I peeked over the edge, my heaving breaths stopped.

It was longer down than I had expected. Not extremely, only a few meters or so, but still. Jacob was laying on his back, now changed back into his human form. He had obviously fallen, hard. Maybe phased back mid air, or maybe after he landed. Probably mid air. A few meters right from his head was only a bundle of red hair.

Jacob's face was twisted into silent pain, and he didn't breathe either. The fall seemed to have knocked the air out of him completely. His arms were closed over his chest, his hands tightly bound into fists. His knuckles were white. My vision blurred, and I couldn't think, but I remember very specific how I noticed his knuckles were white.

I didn't really know how I got myself down to him, but somehow I did. I remember scraping my knee up while sliding down a rock, so I must have climbed my way down the side. When I reached him, he still wasn't breathing.

"Breathe," I ordered him helplessly, my voice shaking as I stumbled forward and knelt down beside him. When he did, low and strangled, he made a sound so filled with pain I only wanted to cover my ears and block it out by singing to myself. I never wanted to hear that sound again.

He still hadn't opened his eyes, his face was still twisted into the same expression of indescribable pain. He moved his lips as if wanting to say something, but there was no sound other than the rasping from his throat as he took another breath. My eyes filled with tears.

"I'm here," I said lamely. I was afraid that if I touched him I would only cause him more pain, so I only stroked my pinky over his cheek helplessly. "You're going to be okay, the others will be here any time."

With one hand I fumbled around in my jacket pockets for my phone. I could call Billy, and then he could-

"Bella," Jacob said, his voice making my ears shrink. That's all he said. And then, as if someone had heard my previous thoughts, we weren't alone anymore.

"This is bad," Jared said, as he knelt down by my side, to take a closer look at Jacob. He wasn't talking to me; he was talking to Sam which just knelt down opposite us, on Jacob's right side.

"His bones must be broken. They might already have started to heal," Sam muttered to himself, his brows furrowing up as he lightly, lightly touched Jacob's chest. Jacob made a pained, angry sound which gave the message pretty clearly. I looked up, only to find myself surrounded by Quil and Embry. They looked a little pale. A few meters behind, looking forlorn and angry, was Leah. Paul was there too, poking what was left of Victoria's head with his toe.

"Damn," he muttered. "It knew we had no chance in catching it when it came from the sea."

Of course. Too late I realized that they knew. Of course they knew everything that happened. The second Jacob phased, they'd known what was going on. They had been on their way over here as fast as he phased. I looked back down at Jacob, who was still clutching his chest. If only they'd been here seconds earlier.

"Coward," Quil muttered beside me. I turned to find him scowling at what was left of Victoria's head. "She knew we couldn't get her in the water. So of course she would use that against us. Suddenly she was just _there. _And she knew there would only be a matter of time, so she knew she had to be quick."

"Whatever, it's over now," Paul spat. "It wont be coming back this time. I just wish I'd been here to take it down."

He poked her face with his toe again, repulsed. I was glad what was left of Victoria's face wasn't facing this direction.

I realized, again too late, that Victoria was dead. She would no longer come to get me. I would never see her again. Jacob had killed her. But at what price? Jacob winced beside me, and my attention returned back to his face.

"How bad is it?" Embry wondered, kneeling down beside Sam.

"It seems like several of his ribs are broken," Sam frowned. I gasped, but no one noticed me. "The healing process is already beginning. This isn't good."

What did he mean by that? I looked around, puzzled. The faces of the werewolves around me were all solemn and serious. Embry looked a little sick. But the healing process was good, right? It meant he would be all right? I felt like I was missing out on something.

"Why is that a bad thing?" I whispered. My voice was shaking like a tree in storm.

Quil put a heavy hand on my shoulder. "We'll explain later. We should get him out of here, now."

The guys gathered around Jacob, and I was gently pushed away from him. He had closed his eyes again, and it seemed like he was struggling to stay in the presence. In one, fluid movement, as if their minds were still connected, Sam, Jared, Quil and Embry lifted Jacob up on their shoulders.

The sound that escaped his throat made me want to bury myself a hole in the ground. I swayed on my feet, unable to move my eyes from his twisted face.

"Someone have to follow Bella back," Sam ordered to no one in particular. "This place is still swarming with leeches, so it's just pointless to let her off on her own."

"I'll be fine," I squeezed out, both my voice and hands trembling uncontrollably as I looked at Jacob. I knew there was no point in telling them I was safe now, that the other vampires he was referring to never would dream of hurting me. At least not physically. "I'll just take my truck, it's parked over there."

Quil actually smiled at me then, shifting his hold on Jacob as they started carrying him away. Jacob winced.

"Bella," Quil said. "Your hands are shaking so bad if you tried to drive anywhere you'd just run straight off the road."

Jacob somehow managed to grunt in agreement. Or maybe it was just another sound of pain. I tried to shrug, but I think it came off more as a shudder.

They started moving then, the four guys maneuvering Jacob away with swift, smooth movements. With this pace, they would have him home sooner than I would be able to drive.

"I'll take care of this shit," I heard Paul mutter to himself, and watched with sick eyes as he dug out a lighter from the pocket of his sweats. Then he moved with determined steps to get the remains of Victoria's body. Okay. Time for me to leave. With trembling feet, I turned and started to walk blindly in the direction I thought the truck might be. I had no wish to witness what Paul was about to do.

I stopped short when my eyes on the ground encountered with a pair of naked feet. Someone was standing in front of me, my blurry brain told me. The feet were dark and dirty, but also pretty. Not like the other pack feet. Less hairy. Why was I staring at these feet, I wondered. I moved my gaze up, and realized I was standing face to face with Leah.

Okay, face to face was perhaps exaggerating a little. I had to tilt my head back to be able to take in her face. She was staring at me, looking a bit puzzled. I guess I was behaving rather weird. I looked up at her, feeling a bit humbled by her size. She was nearly as tall as Jacob, only Jacob was always bright and happy and shining and mine. I think Leah was all the opposite to those words, which made me feel even smaller. She stood in front of me, measuring me out for a second before she made her decision.

"Come on," she finally barked. "I'll drive you."

I stood still, startled as she turned around to walk away with quick determined steps. Did she just offer to drive me? I fell in behind her, terrified by the prospect of being inside a car with her. I could see the muscles in her thighs bulge under her cutoffs as she strode out in front of me, obviously not going to wait. I had to run to keep up with her long legs.

By the time we reached my truck, I was panting and sweating. Leah didn't even stop to wait, but strode straight over to the drivers seat without a moments hesitation. I handed her the keys, and she yanked the door open and got inside. I got in beside her before she would start driving without me. I think she might have; she didn't seem like the patient type. As I got inside, I could feel a sweet, thick scent, almost like smoke, filling my nose. I shut the door quickly.

I tried to calm my breath as Leah slammed the gear and zoomed the car out on the road, as fast as the truck allowed. We sat in silence as she sped up, and I caught myself gripping the seat. She was a fast driver – poor truck – but that wasn't new to me. I was glad she was driving fast – the sooner we would get to Jacob. Maybe he was already home. Was Sue there? Billy? Would that be enough?

"Are you afraid of me?" Leah interrupted my thoughts. When I turned to look at her, she was eyeing my hands with a speculative and slightly curious expression. I realized I was gripping the seat so hard my knuckles were white. _Just as Jacob's had been._

"No," I huffed automatically. "Not you."

She nodded to herself. "Jacob?"

I didn't reply. Almost a whole minute past, as Leah continued to zoom down the curvy road. Not far now.

"Do you think he will he be all right?" I finally asked. I didn't care if my voice was trembling or not. Everyone could see I was a mess anyway.

Leah turned to look at me again, her previous curious amusement all gone. "I don't know. He was hurt very badly. If his bones are broken there's a chance they might grow wrong. If they do..." she stopped short, and turned to frown at the road ahead. I got a icing feeling deep down in my gut. This was what I had been wondering about earlier. Leah drew a breath before she continued. "If they do, we might have to re-break them."

I gasped, but Leah didn't stop. "Problem is, none of us is a doctor, we can't be sure if we make it quite right. And it will be excruciatingly painful. And if we do it _wrong..._"

"But we need a doctor then!" I nearly yelled, desperate. And then it hit me. A doctor. Of course!

"Don't be stupid, we can't bring him to the doctor," Leah argued, annoyed. She was obviously thinking I was more stupid than she gave me credit for, which was saying some. I had my doubts about that credit in the first place. "He's a fucking werewolf!"

"No, no, no," I chanted, nearly laughing out loud. This was so easy! Why didn't I see this before? Leah turned to stare at me with incredulous eyes, seeming positive I'd finally gone mad. I grinned at her. "We'll just get Carlisle!"

The next thing I knew, my chin was being slammed into my chest as my whole head was slung forward, and the safety belt driving into my chest. Leah was practically standing on the break, and the truck strolled a few meters before it shredded to a halt, choking the engine profoundly. She was glaring at me, and she was furious.

"You want us to go and get your precious_ leeches?"_

I noticed the car was shaking slightly. Uh oh.

"No, no, just Carlisle!" I insisted. "He's a doctor! He'll help Jacob, he'll know what to do!"

Leah was panting now, trying to kill we with just a look. "There is no. Fucking way. We are going to get. Your bloodsucking scum," she said, her voice trembling with anger.

"But he can help!" I yelled, finally getting angry too. "He is the only one who can help! If we can't get a normal doctor, we have to get the only option there is!"

"I knew you were going to run back to them," Leah fumed, snarling and rippling beside me with frustration. "I just knew it!"

"Is that what you think?" I cried, my voice turning up an octave. "Pardon me, but that's just plain stupid! Jacob needs help, and he needs it now! He is in pain! Who else, Leah, who else?" I cried, stomping my foot in frustration.

I was the one who was fuming now. Did she really think this had anything, _anything, _to do with the vampires-and-werewolves-are-natural-enemies nonsense? Or even more crazy, me choosing Edward over Jacob? She must be insane. I glared at her, seeing red. Leah had calmed down a bit now, and the shaking had stopped. She sat quietly beside me. Just staring at me. Maybe I surprised her with my yelling. I had no idea what her problem was. I was just about to unbuckle my seatbelt to get out of the car and _walk _to the Cullens, when she replied.

"Okay."

I froze, not sure if I'd heard her right. Her expression had changed, she was no longer repulsed. Instead she had on a speculative look, and I didn't like it one bit. I got the idea she was testing me, but I didn't know how.

What the heck, as long as she agreed.

"Well, go then!" I said, waving my hands in front of her to make her start driving.

With a last, distrustful look at me, she slowly moved her hand to the gearshift, and started to speed up. Instead of turning left to Jacob's house, she turned right towards the main road. When she did, I heard her mutter something like "he so owes me for this."

I ignored her sour face and unknown agenda, and hurried to retrieve my phone from my jacket pocket. I found Edward's number, but then hesitated for quarter of a second and searched for Alice's instead. I had no doubt that Edward would do anything to help me, even for Jacob if I asked him, but I wasn't sure how helpful Leah would be if I did that.

It took Alice unusually long to answer – it had to ring almost twice before she picked up.

"Bella!" she beamed, obviously very happy and surprised that I was calling her. "I haven't' seen you in ages! Are you okay? You have no idea how weird it is when you call and I don't even know you're about to call. Are you with the werewolf now? I haven't seen you all day! Wait, are you driving? You know, it isn't good for you to drive and speak in the phone at the same time. I should get you one of those hands frees, but I don't think you'd use it even if-"

"Alice!" I cut through her joyful banter, clearly run out of time. "Is Carlisle there? I need to speak to him, quickly."

Her voice became suddenly alert as she caught the urgency in mine. "Bella, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"I need Carlisle!" I repeated, getting impatient. "Is he there?"

"Of course, he's right here..."

I waited for some sort of shuffling when she would hand away the phone, but instead I was startled when I heard Carlisles voice only a second later. Of course. Vampires had no reason to shuffle.

"Bella, this is Carlisle," he said, his tone gentle as always. "I understand you wanted to talk with me?"

His calm, in control voice made me let out a quiet sigh of relief. Carlisle would fix this. He would know what to do. When I spoke into the receiver next, it was the calmest I'd felt since Victoria appeared.

"I need your help."


	26. Invasions

_____A.N: Thanks to JJ Twi1ight for helpful reminders and for correcting all that other nonsense :)_

* * *

**__Invasions**

* * *

-JPOV

* * *

I felt like crap.

When the black spots behind my eyelids started to fade and the taste in my mouth had turned sour, I knew I was about time for me to come around. And with awakening, also came itching. My whole body was itching, like ants crawling under my skin. I imagined lifting my arms to scratch. But when I did, a stabbing, blinding pain shot through me that made scratching impossible. Made moving impossible. I couldn't move, I could only feel the itching and the stabbing in my chest.

Stabbing in my chest? Had I been stabbed? It certainly felt like it. Not that I knew how that felt. Or maybe I did, if this was it. It had been worse though. It had been much worse, so if I compared it, this wasn't so bad. This was mostly itchy. Had I been stabbed? It was weird that it hadn't healed already. I wasn't used to being in physical pain over a long period of time, not anymore. And this felt like a long time.

I heard whispering. They weren't quiet. Actually, they were pretty loud. Their voices cut through my ears like a knife through warm butter. Heartbeats, too. Several of them.

"Is it a good thing when he does that?"

"Yes, Bella," someone said. It hurt my ears. "He's starting to come around. He'll be just fine. No permanent damage."

Just fine my ass. I didn't feel like just fine. I felt more like "almost dead" or "nearly stabbed to death" or "run over by gigantic truck." And there was something seriously wrong with my nose. It felt like someone had filled it with bleach.

"I think this is about all I can do right now. He's starting to come around. Give him these-" a rattling sound, and a clunk, "for the pain the first twenty four hours. They should be strong enough. He is healing at an incredible rate, so he should be up on his feet in a couple of days."

My ears hurt again. I didn't recognize the sound, the voice, but somehow it didn't fit with the familiar scents of dust and sheets and wooden walls and home. It was too smooth, to clear. Ugly. I wanted to open my eyes, but it hurt too much to move.

Wait a sec, I _could _move. My eyelids didn't hurt yet. Not much, anyway. I opened them, expecting to find the source of the voice, but was instead staring up into the empty ceiling of my room. I sniffed once, wanting to find the source of the awful smell.

When I looked to the left , the first thing I noticed was the vampire standing by the door. He had a suitcase in his hand, and on his face was the gentlest expression I'd ever seen on a vamp. I knew who he was, even though I'd never met him before. He smiled, gently. My instincts told me to defend, to attack, but my body said no. My head was just wondering what the hell he was doing in my bedroom. So I ended up just staring at him, no attacking in sight.

It smelled in here, though.

Someone moved, and I turned to look into the huge brown eyes of a very worried Bella. Beside her was my dad, and behind his wheelchair was Embry. Sam was there too, crammed into the room beside the door. They were all staring at me with anxious eyes, as if they were expecting me to give them my last will. My room felt pretty crowded.

"Can you please stop looking at me like I'm about to die?" I asked, my voice hoarse.

It was as if the whole room exhaled. Dad and Embry both tugged their lips upwards into half a smile. Sam exhaled deeply, and dad visibly relaxed. Bella didn't do any of this, but kept staring at me with huge eyes, obviously not finding the situation funny. Her face was pale and drawn.

My eyes flashed to Dr. Fang by the door. "'Cus I'm not, right?" I added. Just making sure.

He sent me another one of those gentle expressions. It actually made his pointy face less intimidating. Weird.

"No," he said, smiling slightly. "You're not dying. I had to re-break some of your ribs, but you were out cold for the process. They had started to set wrong because you were healing too quickly, as I'm sure you remember. A few days of rest and you should be fine."

If I remembered. Yeah, now I did. There were still some blank spots here and there, but I remembered glimpses, all right. Not so bad now though, but bad enough. I glanced down. My chest and one shoulder was wrapped tightly in a white bandage supporting it all together. Funny. I hadn't felt that thing there before now. My arms had some bruises and faint cuts with braces all over. The lower part of my body was covered in a quilt. It smelled vaguely of morphine in here.

I eyed the box on the nightstand beside the bed. "Painkillers?"

The vamp smiled again. "Just in case. You'll probably need more later tonight and maybe tomorrow, I don't know how fast your temperature will burn up what I've already given you. But you should be healed before you get to use it all. It's just as a precaution. Just to be on the safe side."

"Huh." I nodded, still in a daze. Was it supposed to be so hot in here, or was that just me? I closed my eyes for a second, my head against the pillow. The room was swirling.

"Feel free to call if there are any complications," the doc said quietly. "And you shouldn't phase in a few days. Make sure you don't mess up the way the bones are set."

I opened my eyes to see him send me another quick smile, and then he pressed the door handle down on his way out

Dad cleared his throat. "I'll...I'll follow you out," he said.

I looked at him, surprised. With a determined expression, dad turned and wheeled himself out after the doctor. Sam followed him out, briefly putting his hand on my shoulder as he passed me.

I was surprised dad had even let a vampire into this house at all. He had always had a strong aversion to the Cullens, even though I had to admit, this vampire was the most tolerable I'd ever met. And besides, he'd just... saved me? Eased the pain? I wasn't quite sure what he had done and how badly this might have ended if not for him. Hell, I wasn't yet sure what had happened. My room was swirling again and I felt dizzy. But he had helped me, even though he didn't have to. Why he bothered was more beyond me. After all, I was the one who had stolen his daughter-in-law and threatened to kill his son.

"Thank you," I hurried to say after him, just as the front door closed behind them. It didn't matter. I knew he'd heard.

I rested back into my pillow, and closed my eyes again. You'd think this would make the room stop spinning, but no. Did not. I heard Embry move beside the bed, and then I heard a clunk from the window. When I opened my eyes, he'd opened it wide. It was dark out. How long had I been here? I drew a deep breath of fresh, clean air, free of the vampire stench. It felt like heaven. The house really smelled like it had been invaded by them.

"Thanks," I mumbled earnestly. Embry just nodded and smiled knowingly, drawing a deep breath himself. I laid quiet as I listened to the quiet murmurs outside the house. There seemed to be several people outside, talking to the doctor. No one grumbled or yelled or threatened. Just talked politely. To the vampire. The world had gone crazy.

Speaking of vampires. "Victoria?" I managed to press out, my eyes shooting open to look at Embry.

I remembered her showing up and I remembered fighting her, but I didn't remember much else, other than blind spots of pain. For all I knew her limbs could have crawled away in different directions by now. It wouldn't surprise me. There was a reason why we burned those remains.

"Paul took care of the rest," Embry said, as he leaned loosely against the wall beside the door. "She's gone. Nice work. Man, I'm glad that's over. No more."

"Yeah," I agreed, closing my eyes again. Spinning walls really doesn't help concentrating.

I remembered now. I hadn't been stabbed. I'd fallen down. It didn't sound halfway as cool, even though I did take her down. It was almost as if it was too good to believe. What on earth would I be doing now? It was like if I was given a few tons of spare time dumped in my lap. Bella wasn't in danger any more. We could cut down on the heavy patrolling. I could do other things than tracing the border line day in and day out.

Maybe. One vamp down, seven to go.

I opened my eyes again. For some reason I felt guilty for thinking it. The doctor had just helped me out big time. I owed him, and I was truly thankful. No, I didn't want to harm him. He was the only vampire I'd met that didn't push the immediate urge to attack, which was completely new. When I thought about it, he must be the most unthreatening vampire I'd met, even if I had no doubts he could be lethal if he wanted to. But I had no grudge against him, I couldn't have.

"How did he get here, anyway?" I mumbled, turning to look at the two people beside me. Bella was still staring at me with wide eyes. "Last time I checked the pack wasn't allowing Cullen's on the rez. Not that I'm complaining," I added quickly.

My words were slurring together, but they seemed to understand. My head just wasn't working right, and I couldn't think straight. It was hard to focus. Embry lifted the side of his mouth into a crooked smile.

"Bella and Leah went to get him, believe it or not. No one could believe their eyes when they turned up here. I mean, with a Cullen! Your dad completely flipped and refused him to enter. Yelled a lot about treaties and other stuff. Leah told me what happened. Apparently Bella had got the idea to get the doctor, and called and asked for help." He snorted. "He had to drive out on the main road to meet them, because Leah completely refused to drive all up to the house. And then he followed them back here. Right Bella?"

Bella just nodded mutely.

"So, they all show up here, and your dad completely freaks out," Embry continues. "Says that vampires have no business here, ramble on about the treaty, and then yells at Leah for not knowing better. Sam and the others support him of course, because he _was_ kind of right. But the doctor was just really calm and controlled, just stood with his palms up and wasn't intruding or aggressive at all. He said he just wanted to help, since you couldn't go to another doctor." Embry looked down at Bella, who was still sitting mutely beside me. "I swear the guys would be tearing him apart if Bella hadn't been around. The atmosphere was a little tense, to put it mildly. Bella tried to convince your dad that you needed help and that you were in pain and so on, and after a while it seemed to work. And as a bonus, you were sort of making a pretty painful background soundtrack at the moment, making it kind of hard for your dad to not help you. So he surrendered, and let mister Fang do the work." Embry's face turned a bit dark. "Your dad stayed in here the entire time, while everyone else waited outside. It was pretty bad to listen to, dude."

I closed my eyes a little, trying to make the walls settle where they should. "Don't remind me," I slurred. "It's not so bad now though."

Embry snorted. "No. You're doped now."

I opened my eyes to send him a hazy smile. "Yeah, that might have something to do with it."

I tried to sit up, but winced and changed my mind half way. Better to stay down. Movement still hurt like hell.

"Well hey," Embry said, and pushed himself up from the wall. He sent a sideway look towards Bella, who still hadn't said a word. "I should probably go outside, I'm sure Sam has a few things to share. But it's good to have you back, man." He nearly clasped his hand on my wrapped up shoulder, but then caught himself before he could do any more damage. He smiled and patted Bella on the shoulder instead as he walked outside and closed the door behind him.

I pinched my eyes shut for a moment, trying to clear my head a little. Still dizzy. And tired. And itchy. I could hear the murmurs of people talking outside, but other than that it was all quiet. It must be starting to get late. When I opened my eyes, Bella was still eyeing me. She looked down at me and her eyes filled with tears. Wow, I must look great.

"Christ Bells, don't look at me like that. I'm not dying," I said again. She let out a little sniffle. I could see her straining to hold the tears back.

"Bells, I'm fine. Don't worry," I insisted, my words slurring together. I tried to smile at her. Wasn't sure if it worked much.

She sniffled again. "Oh, Jacob I'm so sorry," she said, finally falling apart. Steady tears started to stream down her face, and she leaned forward to carefully, carefully wrap her arms around my neck. "I've been so mean to you."

"What?" I said, puzzled. I tried to pull back to look at her, but quickly stopped. Ouch. "No you haven't."

"Yes, I have" she mumbled against my neck. "I've been so selfish. It's just … I'm so sorry. Now you're like this and it's all my fault. It's all because of me."

"You're not making sense," I told her, still puzzled. But then she leaned back a little bit only to press her lips to mine, and I gave up trying to get her. Her lips were salty and wet from her tears.

About being dizzy. If you're dizzy, and doesn't want to be dizzy, kissing Bella isn't a good idea. But really, right now I couldn't care less. She was very careful though, making sure I didn't more. She kissed me lightly and carefully, but it was heaven nonetheless.

As long as I was laying quite still.

"Mmph."

I forgot myself and started to lift my head, and let out a little groan as pain shot down my spine. Unfortunately, Bella heard my moan, and it didn't pass as a passionate one.

"Oh my God I'm so sorry!" she blurted, and yanked her head back with a horrified expression on her face. I just smiled at her, feeling hazy again.

"S'nothing. Come here."

She eyed me speculatively for a few seconds, as if making sure I wasn't secretly shouting swearwords inside my head. Apparently my doped smile passed the honesty test, and she eased herself down on the bed beside me, careful not to jostle it. She sighed and rested her chin on my good shoulder while looking up at me.

"She really is gone, isn't she?" she said quietly. I knew she was referring to Victoria. Who else, really.

"Yeah," I sighed.

It felt weird. But also satisfying.

"I was so worried about you," Bella said quietly. "How are you feeling?"

I tried to smile at her, unable to do much else. "I'm good."

She studied my face. "You need to sleep," she finally concluded.

I tried to shrug, but immediately stopped. Bella lifted one hand to gently wipe it across my forehead. It came away damp. Yikes.

"So you've been bonding with Leah, huh?" I slumbered, barely able to make the words out. It was funny though, since Leah's mood swings weren't completely reliable. She could be like a verbal volcano sometimes. But it would be nice if the two of them could get along. They were different, but also similar in a way. To my surprise, Bella only chuckled.

"You know, there was a while there I actually thought she was going to bite my head off."

I smiled a little, but then realized she wasn't kidding.

"Nah," I calmed her. "She's harmless."

Bella raised one eyebrow to send me a doubtful look.

"Okay," I admitted. "But she's not that bad. She's kind of cool, if you get to know her."

What was happening to the world? Here I was, praising Leah like it was no big deal. Maybe my head got seriously messed up when I fell after all.

Someone knocked on the door, and the world started spinning again. Bella hurried to sit up beside me, just as the door opened and dad wheeled himself back inside. Man. He must be giving me special privileges at the moment; normally he just barged right in. Not that _he _would mind if Bella was laying down next to me or not; she was just weird that way.

"Dr. Cullen just left," he informed us both, as Sam followed through the open door. Dad looked deep in thought, as if he'd just found a puzzle that didn't fit. "It _was _really gracious of him to help you. I had never expected that from him. Or any of them." He looked both astonished and grateful and a little insulted at the same time, as if Mr. Fang had seriously messed up his ways to view life. Maybe he had, too.

The rest of the pack quietly dropped their heads inside the door to take a look at me and exchange a few murmured words, but I didn't really pay attention. I closed my eyes, letting them invade my room again while I tried to make the walls stop from spinning – it was making me nauseous. My head buzzed. I wished they could leave.

The only thing I was aware of was Bella sitting beside me, until I heard Quil say my name. I opened his eyes and realized most of the guys had actually left, only dad and Embry still here. Quil had popped his head in through the door. He lit up when he realized I was awake.

"Wow, you look like hell. How are you feeling?"

"Thanks. Fantastic."

"He's stoned," Embry whispered sideways to Quil, and Quil's grin widened. Both dad and Bella rolled their eyes. "Hey Bella, I'm headed home now. You need a ride?" Embry offered.

Bella looked for a moment surprised, and she glanced down at me, unsure. She seemed a little reluctant to leave.

Dad cleared his throat. "I'm sure Charlie wont mind if you want to stay here, Bella," he said. "You could always use Rachel's room, as long as you call Charlie and explain."

She turned to look at dad. "What should I tell him?"

Dad sighed and pursed his lips, and cast a sideways glance at me. "Maybe he should wait to come over til tomorrow. Why don't you ask him over for lunch or something?" Dad studied my face absentmindedly. "Besides, Jacob will probably feel a lot better tomorrow. It's getting late."

I really did look like shit didn't I.

"Okay." Bella sent me a worried look. "But what should I say happened?"

"Tell him I was in a motorcycle accident," I croaked, my words sloshing together. It certainly felt like I had. However that may feel, I wouldn't know.

"Charlie hates motorcycles," Bella mumbled to herself.

"And you probably shouldn't mention the word accident," dad added wisely. "Tell him it's okay and that he should wait to come here until tomorrow."

"Okay. I'll call him right away." Bella got up from her perch on my bedside. She turned to send me an unsure look. "You sure you're okay?"

I started to nod, but stopped quickly. "M'fine."

Bella hesitated for a second, before she leaned down and gave me a brief peck on the lips. Her hair brushed my neck.

"I'll see you later," she said as she straitened up. Her cheeks were a little red. Then she turned and walked out the door between Embry and Quil. They both nodded to me and offered dad their goodbyes before they followed Bella outside.

Dad sent me another worried look.

"Do you need anything?" he asked.

I shook my head slightly. "No thanks."

My eyelids dropped.

"I should go and talk to Sam before he leaves," I heard him say. Another pause. "You should get some sleep, son."

His wheelchair squeaked a little as he started to wheel himself out the door. I was too tired to answer, so I just let my brain shut down. Some sleep sounded just right. There was still some mumbling from outside, but other than that it was quiet. Funny. The world was still swirling even with my eyelids closed. How was that even possible? Maybe that was just the painkillers. It didn't itch so bad, though.

Like a countdown on new years eve, I waited for my brain to drop dead. Ten. I wondered if Bella would come back to see me tonight. Eight. I wondered how Charlie would react. Six. I wondered what Doucheface thought of all this. Four. I wondered if I could reach the itching on my left foot without bending over. Three. Two. One. Shutdown.

There was a knock on the door. It took me a second before I remembered how to open my eyes.

"Wow, Jacob. You do look like shit," Leah said as she entered. She walked in and closed it behind her, and then leaned back against it with arms crossed.

"Yeah, I've been told," I rasped, blinking furiously while trying to get my head to wake up. It hurt. "What are you doing here?"

"Just trying to find out what all the fuzz is about. It's still just you. I don't get it."

She shrugged nonchalantly, observing me with amused eyes. There was more to it, though. She was frowning sightly as she took me in, and I knew she wasn't as careless as she said she was. She really wanted to see how I was.

"Admit it," I grinned to her, my words sloshing again. "You just wanted to visit me."

Leah snorted.

"Jeez, I'm not gonna be nursing your bedside. You can fluff your own pillow."

"God no, people could actually think you cared," I smirked, barely able to separate my words. "What would they say?"

She snorted again, and returned her eyes to me. "You owe me a big, fat thanks, you know that right?"

"I do?"

"Who else did you think got the doctor Fang here?"

"You did?"

"Mhm. I can't hear you thanking me."

I frowned. "I thought Bella brought him here? It was her idea, wasn't it? That's what Embry said."

"She insisted," Leah admitted. "But I was the one driving her there." She eyed me for a second. "You're still not down on your knees."

I looked at her. She was smiling slightly. Messing with me.

"Excuse me for not licking the ground in front of your feet yet," I offered, trying to get it but not managing. "Care to explain?"

She sighed deeply, as if she had to explain something extremely logical to a nobrainer.

"Bella said to go get the leeches, and I said no. Bella convinced me getting the leeches was a good idea, and I said yes. I drove her over to friendly Fang-land, met doctor Fang, that Psycic leech and the Sourface. Doctor Fang brought his own car and followed me and Bella back here – no way I was driving with him in the backseat, even I have my limits. Then _your _dad, about every member of the pack and my mom refused doctor Fang to enter. Bella insisted, I tried to prevent her from getting slaughtered, and you moaned in pain. Finally your dad gave in and doctor Fang gave you painkillers and started to break up your insides. You know the rest. Can I get my thank you now?"

This all escaped her lips in surprising speed, and she looked at me expectantly, still with that little smirk on her face. She tapped her foot impatiently.

"Uhm."

"Come on, I just drove your girlfriend over to her smelly ex to save your life."

"Yeah, I'm still trying to get that." I narrowed my eyes at her. "That's just not you."

Leah rolled her eyes.

"Thanks for the great confidence. You sure know how to show you're grateful."

"No, seriously," I insisted, as I studied her face. This just didn't fit. "There's something else. What do you mean, Bella convinced you that seeing the leeches was a good idea? How did she do that?"

Leah didn't reply, but kept her face blank and expressionless. Aha. I was onto something, then. I knew this was it.

And then I realized. Of course.

"You were testing her, weren't you?"

Still no expression. Leah was just looking at me blankly. I knew I had her. I continued, testing my theory to see if I'd got it right.

"You were testing her to see how she would react when she saw him. Edward. That's why you agreed to drive her to the Cullen's. You were testing her reaction. Were you expecting her to run into his open arms?"

Leah blinked. _Score._

"So you did. You wanted to see how she reacted. Well, she's still around. Did she pass your test then?"

Leah shrugged then, finally making a movement. She moved her eyes to stare up into the ceiling. When she spoke, her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. "She did," Leah admitted. "She barely looked at the Douche at all. She was too busy obsessing over you. So it's cool. You don't have to worry about her wanting him. It's cool. She's cool. I'll back off now."

I started at her, feeling the perplexed look form upon my face. No matter how right I knew I was, I'd never expected her to admit doing that. And not only did she admit it, she just about gave us her blessing and accepted Bella into the family or something. Leah turned to send me a sideways look.

"You seriously need to thank me now."

I smiled, puzzled, still trying to get it. "Thanks, Leah."

"Your welcome. For saving your life _and _your relationship. You seriously owe me. I'm not kidding."

I had no doubt about that. According to her, I would probably owe her for life. She stretched, cracking her knuckles a few times, before she turned to the door.

"Anyway, I'm headed out. I better be out running, take advantage of the time you're strapped here. It's gonna be like having a few days off, not having to be inside your obsessive boy brain."

I grinned at her. "I know how you feel. This is almost like a vacation!"

"Idiot", she grinned back. "You take care."

And then she slipped outside and closed the door behind her.

* * *

_A.N: __Just a little sanity note: This is one way you *couchbellacough* c_ould_ react when someone jumps between you and a vampire to save your life and then ends up badly hurt. Not go ahead and dump the guy. AHEM._

_I love your reviews and it would be great to hear your opinion on this story so far. Tell me what's good and what's bad, so that I can try my best to make it as good as possible. I have your spoilers ready, if you want them :)_


	27. Pity Project

_A.N: Hakuna Matata, I'm back, summer is approaching big time and this story is back on track. No more lurkingly late updates! Thanks for all the sweet reviews, and a big thank you to JJ Twi1ight who beta'ed. I also discovered I've had a one year anniversary on this site - congrats to me. (One year? Seriously? Huh)._

_If you forgot: We left Jacob in his bed, slightly lightheaded (read: stoned), after successfully taking Victoria out and getting patched together by Doctor Fang. _

_Warning; contains Charlie cooking. Read at own risk._

* * *

**Pity project**

* * *

Who knew sleep could do wonders.

When I woke the next day, I felt like a new person. All the scars from the deep scratches on my arms were gone, and the itching was strongly subdued and now centered around my chest. It still hurt to move, but not in the same stabbing way as yesterday.

It was early, and Bella wasn't up yet. She wasn't here now, but I knew she had been. At least for a little while; my pillow still had her scent. I remembered vaguely that she had come into my room again last night, but I don't think I had been very great company at the moment.

Dad was already up though. He completely refused me to get up until I was completely healed and pain-free. Which practically meant not at all. He seriously freaked out after he found out I had humped my way to the bathroom, but seriously, what else could I do? Borrow his wheelchair? Don't think so. Just that short trip took quite some effort though, and I was panting and swearing as I laid back down in bed. Half an hour and quite a few painkillers later I felt much better, but when I hinted to go and maybe get some breakfast dad all but threatened to tie me to the bed with his belt while he went to get me breakfast himself. I ate breakfast in bed for probably the first time since I was three.

It took another hour before Bella finally woke.

"Hi Billy," I heard her voice from the living room as she opened the door to Rachel's room. "Has Jacob woken up yet?"

"What do you think?" dad chuckled. "I'm surprised he's not out here to meet you. Trust me, he tried."

The door to my room opened then, and Bella peeked in. Her hair was a little disheveled, her eyes tired with dark shadows under them as if she hadn't gotten much sleep. Her face lit up when she saw me, and for a moment she seemed genuinely happy as she took in my face. Maybe because I'd lost the sweat.

"Hi there," she whispered, and stepped inside. She went quickly over to my bedside and leaned down to kissed me briefly, but with feeling. Then she sat down beside me and put her wrist on my forehead. "How are you feeling? You look better."

"Aren't you supposed to say I always look good, no matter what?" I teased her, raising an eyebrow. Bella rolled her eyes.

"You know what I mean. Does it hurt?" She moved her hand to graze my bandaged chest.

"Not so bad now. There's really no reason for me to stay in bed, but dad insists."

"There is every reason for you to stay put," dad contradicted me as he wheeled himself in through the open door. "As I have tried to print into your head a hundred times. You're not healed just because you've had painkillers."

* * *

Bella stayed beside me the whole morning. Dad settled himself in the living room, reading his newspaper, drinking coffee and leaving us mostly to ourselves. Bella had laid down on the bed beside me, intent on keeping me company. As it was, it turned out I really was bad company; I couldn't help but fall asleep all the time. Bella just laughed and didn't seem to mind.

The rumbling barfing of Charlie's cruiser woke me from my slumbering when the clock was about half past one. The sudden noise made me jolt up into a sitting position, which caused a quite loud stream of swearing and profound talk that my dad wisely ignored from outside. Bella got startled by my sudden movement, and nearly fell out of bed. She didn't though, and I laid back down, still panting, and listened to the car as it parked outside in the driveway. One pair of quick steps walking towards the house. There was a knocking on the door, and it had already opened by the time dad was able to yell "come in" from the living room.

"Hi Charlie," he said. "How's it going?"

One moment later, dad had wheeled himself inside the door, and Charlie was peeking in behind my dad. His eyes widened a little when he saw me, and then his face twisted into a very serious frown.

"Goddamn motorcycles," he muttered to himself as he let his gaze wander down to the now unnecessary bandage. We probably should have taken it off before Charlie came here. Man, now I would have to wear this thing for weeks, just to keep up the charade. "How are you feeling, Jacob? I heard about the crash. Down road 110, was it?"

"Mhm," I offered, choosing the safest reply in history.

"It looks pretty bad," Charlie frowned, eyeing the bandage again. He was unusually grave. "Good thing Dr. Cullen was in the neighborhood."

"Yep," I said, offering another brilliant answer. "He really helped."

Charlie shook his head. "I can't believe you've been driving around on a death machine like that. I know it's popular between you kids, but you should really know how dangerous it is. You've been really lucky. Good thing you were wearing a helmet; at least you show _some_ responsibility."

I looked at Bella, which now wore a slightly guilty expression. She really had told quite the story, hadn't she.

"Yeah," I said again, feeling more uninteresting than ever.

Charlie sighed. "Relax, I'm not here to patronize you. You learned the hard way. But I'm glad you're okay, kid, I'm glad you're okay. It doesn't hurt too bad?"

I shook my head, and nodded towards the box of painkillers on the nightstand.

"Good. It could have been much worse, or so I hear. You'll be up and going in a week or so, wasn't that what Carlisle said?"

He turned to Bella. She shrugged, still looking a little guilty for lying to her dad. Charlie put a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry about Jacob, he'll be fine. At least I'm glad _you_'ve never been close to these monster bikes."

Bella made a choking sound and stared at her feet, her face turning red in a rapid speed. Luckily Charlie didn't seem to notice. Dad was politely averting his gaze, looking out the window in a suspiciously absentminded manner. Huh.

"What do you say we start making lunch, Charlie?" dad offered, successfully changing the subject.

Charlie agreed, and both of our dads started to move towards the door.

"I could help?" Bella offered.

"No, no, you stay here with Jacob, in case he need anything." Charlie said, sending me another concerned look. "We'll take care of the food."

He closed the door after him, just when I felt a brilliant grin stretch across my face. Aww. I was the pity project. Bella laughed when she saw my expression.

"Don't be so smug about it," she laughed as she stood up from her chair only to carefully lay down on the bed next to me. "Is there anything you _need, _Jacob? Anything at all?"

It was just the way she said it. And the way I could feel the softness and heat from her body pressed up against my side. Her hair fell down on one side of her neck, and I felt a strong urge to touch it. I absentmindedly let my gaze trail down her neck.

"I know what I _want," _I said, without thinking.

The words escaped my mouth before I had time to realize what I was saying. She was just so _close. _But Bella only smiled, a little playful smile that took my breath away and squeezed my brain to bug-size.

"You do?" she said, breathless. And then she leaned closer and then she kissed me, and I think my brain might have fallen out of my head and disappeared somewhere between the pillows. I'm sure I heard a _cluck _as it hit the floor and rolled around like a marble.

I moved closer to her, pressing my lips to hers. It still hurt to move, but it was worth it. Oh, sweet mother if it was worth it. She sneaked her cold fingers up to wrap around my neck and I encircled her waist with my good arm. I felt her tongue against mine, felt her teeth graze my lower lips. Both our heartbeats had sped up, my own pulse thundering in my ears.

She pressed herself closer to me, draped her body over my good shoulder. I became very aware of her breasts pressed up against my chest. She let one hand trail down my neck and shoulder and down my arm, leaving goosebumps in it's path. She reached my stomach, and pressed her hand lightly to my abdomen just where my abs ended and hip bone started - just touching the hemline of my sweats. If I ever in my life was going to faint, it might have to be now.

"Feeling better?" she breathed against my mouth, quirking an eyebrow at me. The answer must be painted on my face, because she sent me a slightly confident smirk too. I could only nod, dazed. Words were beyond me at the moment. My brain was still the size of a mosquito, still on the floor, squeaking like a mouse where it was buried under my dirty socks. My arms started moving towards her on their own, but I had to stop when a pain shot through my shoulder.

"You know, it's going to be a pain having to keep my hands off you," I admitted.

She smiled again. "You might not be able to move, but that doesn't mean I can't," she said.

My heart literary stopped for a second. Great, first my brain, now my heart. Soon I wouldn't have any functioning body parts left. I watched as Bella's eyes widened, and a furious blush started to spread in her cheeks.

"Did I just say that out loud?" she squeaked then, horrified.

"Uh huh," I slurred. Yeah. Brain on the floor, remember. Not functioning. And my heart still wasn't beating right. I wondered how much it would take to declare me technically dead. Bella was looking at me with humongous eyes, her face red like a sunset. She looked like she was about to blurt out an apology or something. Which would so not make any sense at all, brain intact or not.

"Well hey, don't you think about apologising to me," I told her. I knew she was thinking it. "I'm still trying to pick my brain up from the floor."

A chuckle escaped her lips then, and then another. Next thing she had buried her face down in my neck, and she was laughing. I could feel both her grin and her blush against my skin as she chuckled against my neck. I shook my head a little trying to clear it. Didn't work.

"Why are you so great?" she mumbled, still chuckling.

Well hello.

"It's a skill. I'm born with it."

"Figures."

Bella sighed a little as she pushed her self up to rest on her arms. She looked down at me, her eyes happy and amused. "I should go and make sure Charlie doesn't burn down your dad's house. I think I can smell smoke."

Luckily, Charlie hadn't reached to burn anything yet. They were making sandwiches, and tons of them, witch was a good thing. I lay in bed listening as dad fried bacon, Charlie chopped and sliced, and Bella helped putting it all together. I could hear them work and talk and laugh (and swear, when Charlie cut his finger), and smell the result as the scents of bacon, tomatoes, pepper and tea drifted down through the open door of my room. After about twenty minutes or so, Bella reappeared through the door bringing what looked like food for a little army. I could hear the tv being flipped on in the living room, and then some squeaking from the sofa as someone sat down.

"They're watching the recaps from some game," Bella explained as she put down the tray on the tiny table next to my bed. It quivered a bit under the weight. "I bet they'll be pretty occupied for a while."

I struggled a little to sit up straight and make room for her beside me, trying to keep my face smooth to keep from wincing. It seemed worse now, for some reason. Wasn't it supposed to feel better? My bones must have healed ages ago. It was supposed to be tender, but it wasn't supposed to get worse.

"Should you be doing that?" Bella wondered, standing beside the bed with hands on her hips, watching me as I struggled. "Shouldn't you just lie down?"

"Jeez, you sound like dad. How am I going to be able to eat if I lie down?" I grinned at her and then winced involuntarily again as I finally got up into a sitting position.

We ate our food alone in my room, talking nonsense and laughing like we always did. Our dad's payed no attention to us, but I could hear them as they eagerly commented on the game out in the living room. It was good. Pain or no pain, I felt good. After a while, Bella moved up to sit beside me in bed. She was leaning against my good arm, sipping on a humongous cup of tea. Her plate was long empty and on the floor.

"Never figured you for the tea type," I said, as I watched her take another sip of her cup. She was clutching it between her hands like if she was cold, but I knew she wasn't.

"You're prejudiced," she accused me.

"Prejudiced?" I repeated, surprised. "Against what?"

"Against tea."

"I don't mind tea," I told her truthfully, amused by the way this conversation was going. "Tea's okay."

"_Tea's okay,"_ she mimicked my words while rolling her eyes. "You never drink it. You should try. Some antioxidants would do you good."

"Don't mock my immune system," I warned her.

"Don't mock my tea."

"I didn't. I said I liked it."

"You didn't say you liked it. You said _I don't mind tea, tea's okay,_" She mimicked my tone again while rolling her eyes, deepening her voice to sound like me.

"I do so not sound like that," I told her. "You sound like Santa Clause on speed."

"I do not," she insisted. " I sound exactly like you. And don't mock Santa Clause either."

I grinned down at her. "How long can you stay today?" I asked her, changing the topic completely.

She smiled back, studying me for a second. "I can stay all day, if you me want to."

"Good. I want you to ."

And so they did. And as the hours passed, the day got better. Thanks heavens for Bella; without her I would have bored my ass off. I tried to get up a few times, feeling restless, but Bella always pushed me back down. And if I didn't obey her she would make sure to raise her voice slightly, just to draw my dad's attention. He would roll in and tell me to get the hell back in bed, and believe me, he _would _make a fuss out of it if I didn't listen. And then the two of them would send each other contented smirks, and dad would roll back out. They were a wicked team like that. And then, since I couldn't get up, Bella had to stay here with me. So all in all, it wasn't so bad. I'd just gotten a good excuse to have her in bed with me all day.

Charlie popped his head inside the door a couple of times during the commercial breaks, too. Just to check how I was doing, and to make sure the pain wasn't increasing, and to interrogate me about where the supposed motorcycle was now and if I was considering the possiblity selling the now thankfully ruined deathmachine after this terrible experience and my obviously newfound realization (I might have to ask Quil to produce some evidence, make him break a few extra parts I had in my garage or something to make Charlie calm down and show him that _the bike was crashed. _Which of course it wasn't).

And possibly, just possibly, Charlie also popped his head in the door now and then just to make sure I wasn't doing any funny business with his daughter. He left the door wide open every time he stepped by, but at least he didn't seem suspicious or shoot me glares or anything. He mostly left us alone, but I had to admit, I was silently cursing that open door a few times. Based on the confident look on his face every time he left it open, he probably knew just that.

It wasn't until a little later, when I had laid down on my back resting my head against Bella's thigh while staring up into the ceiling, that I realized. Bella was sitting behind me, running her hand absentmindedly through my hair, her eyes closed and clearly sleepy. And it hit me out of blue air that not once, not a single time today had my mind wandered close to Mister McDouche. Since Embry had aired out the smelly remains of yesterday's (very appreciated and Man was I thankful) doctors visit, my head had been nowhere near thoughts of any fanged creature at all. My brain had been completely fang free. And I hadn't even realized it until now. Not once had a sullen little reminder of Edward Cullen crossed my thoughts. While thinking about it, I couldn't quite comprehend how long ago it had been since I had been able to say the same. It must have been months, maybe more.

It felt great.

I turned my head back, looking up at Bella's sleeping face. She looked adorably cute, resting her cheek on her own shoulder with eyes closed, snoozing lightly. Her hand in my hair had stilled, her breaths were light accompanied by her even heartbeats. She looked calm and peaceful. I'd like to think that she hadn't been thinking about Cullen either.

She looked so comfortable I almost got sleepy just by looking at her. I turned by face into her stomach and moved one hand to rest my palm lightly behind the small of her back. Then I closed my eyes, took a deep breath filled with scents of fabric softener and cotton shirt and cinnamon tea and Bella. Trying not to think too closely about the boobs I would see if I just opened my eyes and looked up, I fell asleep.

* * *

Someone shook my good shoulder lightly.

"Jake."

Something tickled my cheek. I wrinkled my nose.

"Jake, wake up."

Reluctantly, I opened my eyes. Bella was looking at me with warm eyes, her hair falling into my face. I was still resting my head in her her lap. The room was darker now. Bella smiled down at me.

"Charlie wants to get going," she said. "It's getting late."

"Oh." I blinked a few times, cursing myself for falling asleep in the first place. I turned, straining a little to push myself up on my elbows. My insides throbbed threateningly. As if she heard, Bella scooped to the side and hurried to push me back down against the bed.

"You seriously need to lay still," she told me, not removing her hand from my chest.

"I'll be up and going by tomorrow," I tried to calm her.

"Oh no, you're not. Carlisle said at least a few days until you start walking and running and phasing again, and so far there has only been one day."

"Will you come here tomorrow, then?" I smirked. "Or I might just go for a walk, if I get bored. Who knows."

"Don't you worry, I'll be here," she threatened me, her hand on my chest turning into a pointing finger. "I'll be here before you know it, and I better find you laying here when I do."

There was a slight knock on the door, and Charlie popped his head around the corner once again.

"Bells, are you coming? You still have school tomorrow, and it's getting late. You take care, Jacob, all right? Lay still and do as your dad tells you to."

"Sure, sure," I grinned at him. "See you later, Charlie."

Charlie disappeared again, walking down the hallway to go and start his cruiser. I turned to look at Bella, her finger still pointed threateningly at my chest. She looked back, and her eyes had softened.

"Come here," I said, and she leaned down and gently pressed her lips to mine. If only she could stay until tomorrow. But she couldn't, I knew that. Charlie might be cool, but he wasn't _that _cool. She kissed me swiftly, but still enough to make my brain start to question it's size. Not quite mosquito size yet, more like squished sandwich size. I was about to lift my head to kiss her _more, _when she pulled back. She put a finger in my face.

"You lay down," she ordered. "Don't move. I'll see you tomorrow."

I grinned at her bossy tone. "See you, Bells."

She sent me another smile, before she turned and slipped outside. I lay listening to her steps as she walked out, saying goodbye to my dad as she went. I listened until the car had zoomed away, disappearing in the vague haze of faint noises. Then I sighed, a content, long sigh, and shifted a little on the small bed. If it hadn't been for her, this would be unbearable. If it wasn't for her, there was absolutely no way I'd been laying here now; I'd be bored to pieces. But with her... I sure could stay in bed for a few days.

I shifted a little on the bed, and couldn't keep from wincing. This was seriously starting to get annoying. It should pass soon though. I'd probably be up and going by tomorrow, no matter what Bella said.

It was weird. Not having to lay here and worry about Bella being snatched away by the redhead. There was no more Victoria. Gone. Dead. Nada. Finito. What on earth were we going to do now? I thought back to yesterday, sitting at the cliffs with Bella. What we'd been doing then. I almost couldn't remember, it seemed so long ago. So many things had happened in between. We had been joking, and talking, and kissing, and then she had-

Oh. Yeah. That's right. I remembered now. We'd talked about imprinting. My mood darkened some as I thought about it. I remembered her facial expression like she was here in front of me right now. Worried, scared. And doubtful. The rest I could handle, but doubt? She still had doubts. Like if she couldn't quite trust this to last.

Maybe it was Cullen who put the idea into her head. Maybe he was poisoning her thoughts, making her unsure. If he was, that glitterdouche was dead. Or. Well. Dead_er. _But no matter who's fault it was, there was nothing I could do about it now. Time, I guess, would be the only thing to convince her. But that didn't concern me much. I had time.

Dad popped his head inside the door a few times, collecting dishes and talking game. It was getting late by the time Quil and Embry stopped by.

"Hey man!" Quil cooed, as he slumped his ass down on the bed beside my feet. "Looking better!"

"You're not so sweaty now," Embry commented, as he slumped along, dragging my desk chair to the middle of the floor and sitting down. "Smell better in here too. Has Bella been here?"

"Yup," I said. "What's up?"

"Sam says hello," Quil sighed. "And the other guys too. They're out running. Couldn't risk squeezing them all inside your room again. There's been enough leeches running around lately, and there are still a whole bunch left."

"True," I agreed.

"So, how are you feeling?"

"Great," I said. "Never been better. Dad's being a control freak, though."

"Dude, you've got nothing to complain about," Embry raised his eyebrows at me. "Mom doesn't even know I'm a werewolf. I have to sneak out all the time and get yelled at when I come back home. By now she probably thinks I'm involved in organized crime or something."

"I know, I know," I admitted. He was right, I knew that.

"Hey Jake, have you seen Leah?" Quil wanted to know, picking up the box of painkillers and flipping it around in his hand.

"Leah?"

"Yeah, that's sort of why we're here. And of course to sneak some snack from your fridge and say hello to the wounded," he grinned.

"She was here after you guys left yesterday," I told them. "But I haven't seen her today. What's up?"

"We don't know," Embry shrugged. "That's the thing. She's acting weird. Again. She doesn't want to talk to anyone. She was barely out running last night, and then she was all guarded and quiet. Not at all like she normally is. And then she just left, just like that, and no one have seen her since."

"Jeez, you sound like she's gone to kill herself or something," Quil snorted.

"Don't be stupid," Embry said. "But it's just weird. Sam's worried. Seth says she hasn't been home either. Sam wanted to know if maybe she's been here."

"Not that it's very likely," Quil grinned at me. "I mean, she really hates you. I'm surprised she was even here yesterday. What did she want?"

I smiled to myself as I thought back to my conversation with her last night. "Nah, she was just here to remind her I owed her a favor."

Quil laughed. "See? Even when you're nearly dead, she had to do that. Anyways. She'll show up sooner or later. Sam's just being paranoid."

Embry shrugged. I didn't really know what to make of this.

"You'll be up and going by tomorrow, right?" Embry wondered.

"I guess so," I said. "If dad doesn't tie me to the bed or something."

"Guess we'll see you around then. But we better get going; Sam's waiting. Say hi to Bella when she drops by."

They both stood up, stretching and sighing as they did. They said their goodbyes before they left, stopping only to exchange a few words with my dad and snatching some dry cookies and a Coke from the fridge. I laid still, listening as their footsteps disappeared into the trees as they were about to join the rest of the pack. All apart from Leah.

What was she doing? I had no idea. I wasn't at all worried, though. If Leah wanted to disappear for a while, she should. There was no need to get worried. If anyone, Leah was certainly capable of taking care of herself. I rolled over on my good shoulder, and it didn't take long before I fell asleep.

* * *

_A.N: So there. I wanted to calm it down a little, for now. Please let me know what you think. _

_One spoiler, two spoiler, three spoiler, four ... I'm still bribing :)_


	28. Amnesia

_A.N: ______thefreedictionary(.)com is my best friend. *basks*_

_Tremendous thank you to JJ Twi1ight for providing sense and know-how, and for multilingual beta work. _

* * *

**Amnesia**

* * *

When I woke the next day, it was already late. Not that it mattered. The sharp daylight was forcing it's way through my window, making my head squirm with crankiness. It may be light now, but it wouldn't last. It was going to rain today, I could feel it. I groaned and dragged the blanket over my head.

Huh. The movement hadn't hurt much. I moved my arms again, rolling over on my back. Just a minor stab. Like if Quil had punched me in the rib or something. Nothing bad. Maybe it was about time I got out of this bed. I felt fine, and I felt bored.

As my brain started to clear, I realized we had company. I could hear dad talking from the living room. His voice was quiet though, and the tv was on so I couldn't make out what he was saying. There was another heartbeat there too. I wondered for a second if Bella had gotten over here early, but it wasn't her. I would recognize her heartbeats anywhere, and this wasn't it. It was probably just Sue or something.

Confused, and still half asleep, I pushed my way free from my strangling sheets and humped over to the door. I didn't bother putting a shirt on, whoever it was out there would just have to bare me walking around in sweats only. I still lived here, dammit. It didn't hurt as bad to walk now, it was tons better than yesterday. I opened the door, rubbed my eyes a little, and stepped into the hallway.

I reached the doorway to the living room, but stopped when I had to rub my eyes once again. What I saw was not something, or someone, I had expected. Dad was sitting in his wheelchair beside the sofa, sipping a cup of coffee and looking at whatever was on the tv. Beside him on the couch, holding a large cup of coffee between her hands, was Leah.

"Hey there!" dad boomed. "What are you doing up? Get back in bed, you're still not well!"

I didn't really acknowledge what he was saying, I was too busy staring at Leah in surprise. She wasn't looking at me at all, but paying attention to the tv. While I watched, trying to get my brain to function again, she took a large sip from her coffee.

"Leah?" I said.

"Morning," she greeted me, not once taking her eyes off the tv.

"Everyone's supposed to be looking for you. What are you doing here?" I asked, still puzzled.

"Drinking coffee."

"Uhm. I can see that. What's up?"

She turned to look at me then, defensive. "Can't I just sit here and drink coffee with your dad?"

"Uhm sure. You just don't do that very often."

"About time I do, then."

Huh.

"Jacob," my dad interrupted. "You're still not well. Go and lay down somewhere instead of being rude to our guest."

"I'm okay. It doesn't hurt," I waved off. I moved my eyes to look at him for a second, and he sent me a pointed look. I sighed and surrendered before I agreed and went to slump down into the nearest chair. There was a slight confusing silence as we all sat there, staring at the tv, like if this was normal procedure and something we did all the time.

"Actually," Leah cleared her throat, her eyes flickering over to me. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh," I said.

"I'll leave you kids alone," dad said wisely, sending me another pointed look with some hidden message I didn't understand but probably should've, grabbed the newspaper and went to sit outside in the backyard. I didn't get this. I waited until he'd closed the door behind him though. I turned to look at Leah, but she made no signs to speak up anytime soon.

"Quil and Embry were here to look for you yesterday," I told her.

No reply.

"Apparently they think you're acting weird," I continued.

No reply. Okay. I needed another approach. Funny, that. Here she wants to talk to me, and I'm the one working to get her to say something.

"So," I said, tired of being left out. "What do I owe the pleasure?"

She sipped her coffee. "Jerk."

"I thought you made it clear you weren't here to fluff my pillow," I grinned at her, getting funny images in my head. For some reason I didn't think Leah would make a pleasant nurse.

"I'm not. I'm here to talk to you."

I straightened up in the chair, ignoring the punch-me-in-the-rib-like stab.

"Okay. About what?"

Leah didn't reply immediately, but emptied her cup and put it on the table instead.

"I've been thinking a lot," she said finally, still not looking at me. "About... You know. The thing I told you about before."

It took me a second. "What thing?"

Leah groaned. "Jeez, I forgot how thick you are." She slumped back in the couch, pulling her feet up while rolling her eyes. She took her time before she continued. "The thing about how I'm a genetic dead end," she finished, her eyes glued to the tv screen.

"Oh. That thing." Major don't-fuck-up alert. Extremely sensitive subject on the way. _Don't say something stupid don't say something stupid don't say something stupid. _

"Yeah."

"What about it?" I asked quietly after a while, when she didn't elaborate. Leah kept her eyes on the tv when she replied, not once looking at me. She drew a deep breath before she replied.

"I've been thinking, and... I don't want to be that."

"Uhm. Okay. I can see that, I guess."

With all the excellent replies I was providing her, I was puzzled why she cared to tell me this at all. She seemed intent on letting it all out there, though.

"And there's only one way out," she mumbled in a melodramatic way.

I raised my eyebrows at her. "Whoa, whoa, whoa," I ranted. "Now don't go all suicidal on me, Leah."

She turned and raised her eyebrows right back at me. She might be amused, I couldn't tell.

"Ass," she said. "That's not what I'm saying. Where did you get that from?"

"Okay, okay," I backed down a little. "Sorry."

She continued, unaffected. "As I was saying. There's only one way out of it, and I've decided."

Hey, wait a sec. "You're not talking about adoption, are you?" I asked, doubtful. This was one heck of a conversation. I felt like if I was on very deep waters and couldn't swim.

Leah sent me another one of those looks, only this time it reminded me more of pity. "You really are an ass aren't you?" she wondered.

"Tell me, then," I sighed and gave up. "I don't get it."

"I can see that." She rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the tv. "I'm trying to tell you, but you keep interrupting me. What I was saying was, that I've decided. Not that it was that difficult. It's not like I'm gonna miss it."

Really, Leah and Bella should team up and make a group for those who liked talking in riddles. I didn't get any of this.

"Miss what?" I asked, for the hundredth time it seemed.

"Phasing, Jacob." Leah turned to look at me. "I'm going to give up phasing. I figured, if I stop being what I am now, I can be... normal. And I want that."

The room was quiet, except from the buzzing from the tv, as I approached what she'd just told me. She had moved her gaze away from the tv, and was now measuring my reaction with unreadable eyes.

"Wow," I finally said. "Really? You're going to give up phasing?" The thought was...absurd.

"That's the plan," she replied, still looking at me.

"Is that even possible?" I frowned. "I mean, I know it's possible, when you're old and exhausted and have built up self control for years and years. But you've only been like this for weeks, months maybe."

"I wont do it right now, obviously. Not immediately. But some time. Soon. When all the leeches are gone. Then I will."

"You think you can do that? That has to take some self control. I've never heard of anyone who managed that so young."

"That's because no one has really tried," Leah said sternly, fully convinced of her own plan. "I know I can have the self control. Not yet, obviously. But it can be taught, with practice. After some time. Eventually. I don't want to be like this forever."

There was a new edge to her tone as she said those last words, just a hint of fierceness that I couldn't help but admire. If it was even possible to do this on pure willpower, I couldn't think of anyone else that could make it better than Leah.

"Your dad doesn't seem to mind. He thinks it's fair," she added.

"You've spoken to dad about this?" I wondered, surprised.

"Yeah," she said, as if that was totally obvious. "What did you think we were talking about before you showed up now? I mean, he should know. He's in the council and everything. He says that there are some people that probably wont like it, but who cares. When all the leeches are gone, there's no reason why I shouldn't. It's my decision to make. Everyone else can go mind their own business."

We sat in silence for a little while, both of us looking blankly at the tv but neither of us really paying attention. It had started to rain outside. I thought about what she'd just told me. Imagined a life without phrasing. It was like another life. Another era. Happier. Easier. Less complicated. It made me feel old.

"What if you'll miss it?" I wondered, more to myself than her. It might be a stupid question, but still. Being constantly tired and sharing a common mind and having to be on constant alert all the time was not something any of us would ever miss. But it was weird, you know. Imagining life without it. Thinking about it gave me the same feeling as the day Victoria died. What to do?

Leah snorted loudly. "Sorry to disappoint you, but being inside your head isn't that entertaining," she said. "Besides, I'm sure I can find other ways to make you insane if I feel like it, other than tickling your brain tissue."

Another few seconds ticked by. I watched the tiny little men move around on the tv, not really seeing.

"Who knows about this?" I asked her.

"No one. Only you. And your dad. Gonna tell mom when I get home, I guess."

"Huh."

I did feel a little honored, actually. I'd never expected her to let me be the first to know. On the other hand, who else to tell? Paul? Quil? Not likely.

"What about...?" I started, but then let the question die out. I didn't really want to ask, and I knew she would understand anyway.

Leah crossed her arms tightly over her chest, and her expression darkened into a scowl. "Sam can go fuck himself," she said sternly, that same fierceness creeping back into her voice. "This is none of his business either."

I only shrugged, and decided to keep my mouth to myself. That was between the two of them. Fair enough, she didn't have to tell him anything yet. But he would have to know. Eventually. He was alpha, after all.

Leah poured herself another cup of coffee, and returned to her own thoughts while sipping it and looking glossily at the tv. I didn't really pay attention to the tv either, but fell back into the chair and my own head. Her words had got me thinking. She was going to stop phasing. Not now, but some day soon. No more grumpy Leah inside my head. No more ironic yelling and sour comments. No more scowls and snarls and eye rolls. It should feel great, right? Strangely, it didn't. Strangely, I might start to think I was going to miss her. The world had certainly gone crazy.

Stop phasing. Huh. What if it was possible? What if she actually made it? What if there was no need to hunt down leeches anymore? What if the leeches left? What then? It opened another path, another possible turn I didn't even know exist. Maybe it wasn't necessary to stay like this for centuries. We sat in silence as we both pondered, both deep in thought. I lazily watched the strip of light from the window moving across the kitchen wall, lost in my own speculation and plotting.

"How's your girlfriend doing?" Leah interrupted my thoughts after finishing her second cup of coffee. She put it back on the table with a loud cluck. For a second, I wasn't sure if I'd heard her right.

"Huh?"

"Ah, I'm going to miss that," Leah sighed as she stretched her arms out in front of her, cracking her joints. "I always forget how thick you are. Being inside your head when you don't get a thing, it's priceless. It will almost be irresponsible of me to leave your head alone; how you'll survive without me is a mystery. I asked: _How is your girlfriend doing? _You know, your girlfriend? Bella? That chick which throat you get to stick your tongue down-"

"I get it, yeah," I interrupted her mocking. "It's just not something you normally ask, that's all."

"Don't think so little of me," she teased. "I'm almost starting to like her a little. Can't a girl ask about the girl she drove to her smelly ex and back? And by the way, did I mention that you owe me?"

"You mentioned. About fifty times."

"Yeah, I thought I did. So, how's it going?"

"It's going," I replied, still a little puzzled by her sudden interest. Maybe this was how Leah was when she was nice and not mad. Like when she was talking to her friends. As if I was her friend. Which I was. Totally normal. Friends. Huh.

"She's staying with you, right?" Leah added more seriously. "Not running back to the glitterass?"

I shook my head. "She says she's not."

"So she stays?"

"Yep. She stays."

"Good," Leah said, and nodded content to herself. "Maybe she isn't so hopeless after all. No offense."

I just rolled my eyes. "Bella isn't hopeless."

"I know you don't think so," Leah grinned, uncharacteristically. "No, you're right, she isn't. Sorry. Glad you're doing okay. But let me know of she starts acting funny, I can take care of it for you. I'm pretty good at that."

"So you keep telling me," I sniggered, doubtful and a little amused. "What, you're my own personal bodyguard now?"

"You wish, little boy," Leah said and pushed herself out of the couch. "No, as long as she's treating you fair and making sense, it's cool. I'll leave it for you to handle from there." She stood a little, and stretched her arms again, and then she yawned hugely. It looked like she was about to leave.

"Where are you going?" I wondered.

"Home. I'm tired," she said, and yawned again.

"It's nearly twelve," I noted.

"Not everyone can stay with their lazy ass in bed all day, like you. I haven't slept all night."

"Where have you been?"

"Nah, nowhere in particular," she shrugged. "Just walking around."

"Oh. Right."

She sent me another amused smile as she took in my dumb expression. "Priceless," she mumbled to herself, and picked up her cup from the table to go and put it in the sink.

"I heard that," I said after her as she disappeared into the kitchen.

After stepping out in the backyard to say a quick goodbye to dad, Leah left. She slipped out the front door, and I listened to her jogging footsteps as she disappeared in the distance. She was not going to phase on her way back, I just knew it. She was running human this time.

When dad reappeared in the living room fifteen minutes later, he found me halfway asleep in the chair, my jaw hanging slack and my cheek smeared all over my shoulder.

"Jacob," he barked, startling me in my chair. I snapped my head up to gaze at him through hazy eyes. "Either you stay up or you lay down," he ordered. "How can you even sleep now? It's in the middle of the day."

I shrugged slightly. "I'm up," I insisted.

"I can see that," he chuckled, unconvinced. "Did you talk to Leah?"

"Yeah," I dragged, blinking furiously as I got up in what might resemble a sitting position. "She told me."

"She's a tough girl, that one," dad nodded to himself. "She'll figure it out. I have no doubt about that. But even she might need someone." He sent me a pointed look as if trying to pass me some hidden message. I was too tired to even try interpreting what that may be.

"What do you mean? I'm too tired for indications."

Dad exhaled a little. "I'm just saying that I'm glad the two of you are friends. I'm glad she thinks she can come here." He paused for a second. "I suspect that she might be a bit lonely."

I thought about that for a moment. "She_ is_ the only female werewolf ever," I reasoned.

"No," dad shook his head. "That's not what I mean. I mean as a person. I don't think she has many people to confide in. I'm glad the two of you are friends, Jacob, that's all."

Huh. I hadn't really thought of it like that before. But as always, dad was probably right. Well. Leah certainly seemed more cheerful than her normal self today.

"Speaking of," dad continued, changing into lighter topics. "I'm invited over at Sue's for lunch. Charlie too. It will probably drag out a little, maybe become dinner. It probably will be dinner, if I know her right. You're free to come too, but then there's the whole thing with trying to explain to Charlie. And I suspect you'd rather go and lay down somewhere."

I nodded. "Sounds good." Both laying down and dinner. Speaking of, I hadn't even eaten breakfast yet. No wonder I was a dead machine. "Do you need me to drive you? It's going to rain pretty bad today."

"You don't have to. Sue said she'd come to pick me up in a little while, and Charlie will come by after work. Is Bella coming here after school?"

I shrugged. "Probably. She said so."

Dad only nodded. "Get some sleep, Jacob. You look like a sloth."

* * *

I got up after a while, walking like a zombie over to the fridge where I thoroughly devoured what I could find. I called goodbye to dad when he left, popping my head out to have a few words with Sue too. She seemed very concerned that I was up and going, and she and dad spent good five minutes making little funny comments on my behalf about me being unable to listen to the wise words from the older generation. They waved their goodbyes, and I felt a bit icky so I went to take a shower, disposing of the now useless bandages. Some food had really helped, it immediately made me feel tons better. Now I could lift my eyelids without making an effort.

I'd just finished drying myself off and put the towel in the hamper, when I heard the familiar roar of a very familiar truck outside. Already? Well, I wasn't one to complain. I hurried to get some sweats on, just as the door opened and I heard Bella call from the hallway.

"Jacob?"

"Hey," I greeted her as I walked into the hallway to meet her. She was standing in the doorway, peeking inside. I lit up when I saw her face; she seemed excited.

She did not light up when she saw me, though.

"What are you doing?" she yelled angrily, and slammed her school bag down on the floor. "You have no business walking around! Get back in bed, you're not well yet!"

I just laughed at her as I walked towards her. "Bella, you're worse than dad. I'm fine, really. It doesn't even hurt. And it's not like I'm out running a marathon. I'm standing in the hallway, see?"

She huffed a little, but didn't push it. I reached her, and leaned down to kiss her lightly. She smiled.

"What are you doing here this early?" I asked, and sneaked my arms around her waist.

Her face lit up into that same excited expression she'd been wearing when she entered. "I ditched!" she exclaimed proudly. "My last class. It was only english and we were only watching some documentary I've already seen."

I nodded my head in surprise. "I'm proud."

Her face changed slightly then, showing a shadow of guilt. "Don't tell Charlie, though."

I grinned at her. "Charlie would be proud too."

She followed me into the house, and we both went into the kitchen.

"How are you feeling?" she asked worriedly.

"I'm tons better," I told her, and poured myself a glass of water. I gestured to her if she wanted something, but she shook her head. "It really doesn't hurt. It's cool. It's nice to get up a little. I was starting to go crazy."

She smiled, but still looked a little concerned. "You should take it easy, though."

"Don't worry, I am."

Bella sighed, and shook her head as she seemed to give up. She smiled at me, and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. We looked at each other for a few moments.

"Where is your dad?" Bella suddenly remembered, and looked around. She peeked her head back into the living room to look for him.

"He's over at Sue for lunch. Your dad is going there too, apparently. They'll probably drop by on their way home."

"Oh," Bella said. "So we're alone?"

She looked at me, a little question mark on her face.

"Yeah," I shrugged. "Guess we are."

I emptied the glass and put it down before I turned back towards her, and there was just something about the look on her face. She looked up at me, and I looked down at her. Her face was mixed with emotions and there was a curiosity and testing look there I hadn't seen in a long time. As the silence grew between us, the atmosphere in the room changed. The seconds started to go by slower and slower while we looked at each other. And then, as if someone snapped their fingers in front of us, we were kissing. She fisted her hands in my hair and yanked me down towards her, and for once we were finally on the same page.

She buried her fingers in my hair and stepped closer as I carefully placed my hands around her waist. One by one, all thoughts in my head waved goodbye as they disappeared out the open kitchen window. I'm sure if she took my head between her hands right now and shook it, we'd both be able to hear the loud shattering echo in there. But who cares. We were alone, and she was amazing, and she was kissing me, and it had been forever.

I didn't realize we had stumbled our way across the floor until her back hit the wall next to the door. We both startled a little, and Bella laughed against my mouth. Her arms encircled my neck only to drag me closer, and I reeled a little as I listened to her raging heartbeats.

Things became blurry after that. When I thought back at it later, there were gaps and holes in my memory which were completely impossible to fill. Like how we managed to end up inside my bedroom, without ever breaking free of each other. Or how I ever managed to get her shoes off, those annoyingly tight things which normally demanded complete focus and attention, when I'm quite sure I had everything but.

I couldn't remember when she'd lost her jacket, or where. Or what happened to the glass of water standing on my nightstand, which was suddenly in pieces on the floor spilling water all over. I couldn't remember how in the world my sock ended up on top of my closet, or how the lining of my sweats got torn down the side. Or how my bedspread ended up being slung over my desk, making everything already there fall over and making hellofa noise. I couldn't remember what her t-shirt looked like, or where it ended up after she'd thrown it over her head. I couldn't remember ever taking the rubber band out of her hair, even though it obviously wasn't there as I watched her hair spill over my pillow where it belonged.

I couldn't remember what day it was. Or what date. I couldn't remember what I ate for dinner yesterday, or what I was supposed to be doing today. I couldn't remember what number came after two. I didn't remember what time it was, or why that even mattered.

But I remembered the important parts. I remembered her. Falling down on my bed, she on her back, all the while kissing me. We never stopped kissing. I remembered how soft she was, and how tiny and pale and perfect. I certainly remembered taking off her bra, or, well, trying to take off her bra. After a good twenty seconds of my fumbling and swearing, she started to laugh at me before she took pity on me and removed it herself. Oh boy if I remembered that. I remembered how she buried her face in between my neck and shoulder while I fumbled with the button of her jeans. I remembered me fumbling a lot, actually.

And I remembered her hands as they wandered down my chest and abs and then lower as they slipped inside the lining of my sweats, and mother-of-all-that's-holy if I remembered what she did when she got there. I remembered moving into Boobtown, kissing and licking down her chest while she arched her back, and then how she forced my mouth back to hers when she thought I was fumbling too much. I remembered how she kissed me, her lips wrapping around mine as she pulled me closer, her fingers pressing into my back and draping me over her body.

I remembered the racing of her heart as I slid my hand up her inner thighs, reaching what she wanted me to reach. I remembered all the tiny, nearly inaudible, sounds she was making. I remembered her breaths against my ear, and I think I might have been mumbling her name a few times too. I remembered how she pressed her lips to my neck, whispering words in my ear that made my spine shiver. I remembered lowering my weight over her, and then pulling back to look at her, for a moment unsure. But she just laughed and kissed me, demanded, and I more than willingly obliged. I remembered the feel of her as we met, the feel of being surrounded inside her soft body_, _the _heat. _I remembered how my ego swelled when she didn't once give a pained face, rather the opposite. And then my ego seriously exploded when she moaned slightly, as if she _enjoyed. _

"More," she whispered.

Whatever her well articulated one word sentence said.

I remembered not being able to think, not being able to concentrate at all, but not caring. My brain turned hazy again, foggy and clouded and blurry and crippled. Her breaths were tickling my neck as we moved together, and her palms were pressing against my back holding me to her in a tight grip. Her legs moved up, wrapping around me, and she was ravaging my neck with nibbles and licks and kisses. And after a while, when it became too good to bear, she only reached up to kiss the side of my neck while I trembled above her, and she trembled a little too.

Most importantly I remembered the way she smiled up at me when I pulled back to look at her, my whole body limp and completely satisfied as I basked in the moment. The sound of her heartbeat, still running high, and the racing of both of our ragged breaths. We were tangled together so much I couldn't tell which limb belonged to who, and she was short of breath and sweaty and hotter than what surely could be legal. I remembered leaning down to kiss her, really kiss her, and the way she lifted her hands to frame my face when I did. She kissed my lips and then my nose and then she laughed.

"See," she whispered. "I told you you needed to lay down."

"Oh really?" I grinned down at her. She beamed up at me, as if she just couldn't help not to.

I decided staying in bed one more day really couldn't hurt.

* * *

_A.N:_

_It would make me very happy to hear your opinion, good and bad. __Oh, and by the way – if you want spoilers you have to make sure your private message is enabled, or I wont be able to reply to your review. Just sayin' :) _

_And while we're talking spoilers ... *bribebribebribe*_


	29. Cheshire Cat

_A.N: Creepily wide cat-like grin goes to JJ Twi1ight who beta'ed, and quite a few dizzily upside-down grins to all of you who reviewed :)_

* * *

**Cheshire Cat**

* * *

_She kissed my lips and then my nose and then she laughed. _

"_See," she whispered. "I told you you needed to lay down."_

"_Oh really?" I grinned down at her. She beamed up at me, as if she really just couldn't help not to. _

_I decided staying in bed one more day really couldn't hurt._

* * *

Funny, that. How a day can turn out. Like this one. Only in distant dreams had I ever imagined this. Laying on my bed. Listening to the rain outside, thundering loudly against the roof. Bella resting beside me, stark naked, covered only by me. This was by far the best thing. No doubt about it. She was laying on her back, her hair standing out in all directions, falling out and claiming my pillow in a wonderful mess. Her smile was still present, as it had been for the last half an hour or so we'd been laying like this.

"You're wicked," I told her.

She raised one eyebrow at me, still unable not to smile. "I am?"

"Definitely. Tricking me back into bed like that. Shame on you."

She stretched a little and closed her eyes in contentment. "I didn't hear you complain."

I turned towards her, resting my head on my good arm, and just watched her as she rested beside me. I couldn't keep from smiling. It was absolutely impossible. I felt like this smile was going to be plastered on my face forever. I stretched my neck towards her, kissing her cheek and then her ear. Her smile widened, her eyes still closed.

We lay like this for I don't know how long. I'd lost completely track of time. I was floating, I was so full of bliss, and I was so happy I didn't know what to do with myself. I don't think I'd ever been happier. Now and then I would trace a finger up or down her arm, or her hair or her chest, just because I couldn't help it. Her skin was perfect and soft, and I watched the contrast between my hand and her pale skin. She still had her eyes closed, but her smile widened every time I touched her. The only sound was the light thump of rain from outside, lulling us into our own little world. It was perfect.

And then I heard the slamming of a car door from outside.

I jolted up into a sitting position, making the sting in my side protest wildly. "Crap!"

Bella opened her eyes beside me. "What?" she asked, bewildered.

There was another faint thud from a car door. It was almost drowned in the sound from the rain against the tin roof, and I realized why I hadn't heard the engine.

"Our dad's are coming home," I told her, while scrambling up from the bed.

"What?" she nearly yelled, and scrambled up beside me. "Now?"

"They're outside," I told her, as I fumbled my way out of the bed to look for something to put on.

I hadn't really anticipated her reaction, even though I knew her well enough now that I should have expected it.

"_Outside?_" she hissed, and jolted up from the bed like if it had suddenly become electric. She waved her hands like crazy, looking like she was about to hyperventilate. "_They're outside?_ Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't you say they were coming? Oh my god, I have to put some clothes on," she rambled. She started running around my room, still waving her hands up and down while not doing anything productive at all. She was obviously freaking out.

I watched her, unable not to. If you've never seen a naked girl run before, let me tell you now it is highly recommended. It's one of those things you have to do before you die. I could die right now and I would be happy.

"It's raining," I explained dumbly, unable to take my eyes off her as she jumped around. "The sound of the engine drowned in the rain."

I don't think she even heard me. Next thing I knew my boxer hit me straight in the face as she threw it at me.

"Get moving," she hissed. "Get some clothes on!"

"They're still outside," I tried to calm her, still grinning like crazy, but doing as she told me. I pulled on my underwear and looked around, looking for the rest of my clothes.

We really had made a mess of things hadn't we. There was water and broken glass on the floor, and my bedspread was slung over the desk making a terrible mess. I smiled, amused, as I reached out to pick her panties down from one of the framed photographs on the wall.

"Have you seen my-?" she started, before she turned and noticed me standing there with it in my hand like the dork I was. "Give me that!" In one quick step she'd snatched it away from me. "And put a shirt on!"

I couldn't find a shirt, but I found my sweats. The hem was a little ruined down the side, (making my grin widen impossibly as I remembered how that happened), but it was still useable. From outside there was some muted mumbling and the slamming of another car door. I looked around, looking for my t-shirt, just when I heard an angry sound from Bella's direction. I looked up, and found her humping around on one leg while clutching the other. The scent of her blood filled my nose.

"Ouch!" she cried out. "There's broken glass all over the floor, dammit."

I hurried over to her, immediately concerned, dancing out of the way of the broken glass as I went. "Let me see," I said, reaching out towards her foot. There was a small scratch there. "You're bleeding."

"Nevermind, nevermind," she ranted and waved me off, before she limped over to the bed to grab her jeans. "Just push the glass away under the bed or something, so they won't see."

I did as she told me, ungraciously taking the bedspread from my desk and using it to shove all the bits of glass and water under the bed. Out of sight, out of mind. When I was done, I could hear one pair of footsteps crunching against the gravel outside. Bella was already dressed, running around the room and tidying like crazy.

"Get back in bed!" she ordered me.

"Why?" I asked her, puzzled. "Wasn't that the place we were just trying to avoid?"

"Not you," she huffed, while straightening a pile of books on my desk. I moved over to help her. Or, tried to help her, rather.

"Move over," she stressed, waving her hands in my face. "Stop stepping on my feet!"

"Sorry-"

"Get down in bed! You're supposed to be recovering from your motorcycle accident. Charlie still think you're bandaged into a mummy."

"Oh. Right." Now I remembered. I hurried to step away from her waving hands, before she could do any real damage to herself, and sat down on the bed. Someone opened the door to the house, and I could hear some mumbling and laughter.

"We're back!" dad yelled to no one in particular, announcing his presence as he normally did whenever he came home.

"Shoot," Bella muttered, and practically ran over to me and shoved me back in the bed. "Lay down."

"Sure, sure. I'm laying down, see?"

"You need to put a t-shirt on," she ranted.

"Why?"

"To hide that you don't have a bandage."

"Oh."

"Put one on, then!"

"I couldn't find any."

"Fine. We'll just cover you in the blanket. Where's the blanket?"

"Under the bed covered in broken glass."

"Dammit. Then you need a t-shirt."

Bella looked around frantically, scanning the room. She really swore quite a bit when she was stressed, didn't she. I could hear the sound of a door closing and the sound of voices getting closer. Bella found a t-shirt at the bottom of my closet, and threw it in my direction. I looked at her, standing in the middle of the room, looking flustered. Her hair was standing out in about every direction, looking more than a bit wind blown.

"You know you have bed hair, right?" I grinned at her.

"Crap!" she whispered, and moved both her hands to her hair. "I knew there was something!" She started to pull at her hair, frantically trying to make it lay down.

We both heard the sound of voices entering the hallway. One pair of footsteps approaching the door.

"You can't smile like that!" Bella hissed at me. "You need to act like you're in pain!"

I grinned at her, amused."Why?"

"You've been in an motorcycle accident, you idiot. Come on. Give me pain."

She hit my foot with her hand as if hoping it would make me wince, but instead she ended up shaking her hand up and down while wincing herself.

"Come on, stop smiling! You can't be all Cheshire Cat either," she hissed, glaring at me. "It's not funny, stop laughing!"

"I can't," I told her honestly, snickering at her awesomeness.

"Yes. Do!" she hissed again.

I looked at her, standing in front of me, still red faced and a little out of breath. To not smile was absurd. Impossible.

"Are you just going to stand there? You look a little out of place," I grinned at her.

"Stop smiling!"

"Stop messing up your hair."

"Shut up."

When dad and Charlie opened the door to my room, they entered a room of perfect peace. The room was exceptionally tidy, and it nearly smelled cleaner too as if the floor had just been cleaned. I was laying still in bed, t-shirt on, looking bored but content. Bella, perfectly dressed and groomed, was sitting in the end of the bed by my feet, shuffling through a random school book. We both looked up when they entered, both wearing faces of perfectly rehearsed pleasant surprise.

Charlie smiled, brushing rain from his hair. Dad sent me a funny look, as if saying _Really?_ I ignored him.

"Hey kids," Charlie greeted us. "How are you doing, Jacob? You're looking better."

"I'm a lot better. I feel great." Big understatement, much? I felt phenomenal.

"I'm glad to hear. What have you kids been doing while we were gone? It must be boring for you being strapped to this bed all day. Though Billy tells me you don't listen when he tells you to lay down."

Really, I didn't mind this bed at all any more. Bed was fine. Give me more bed-time. I snickered inside and tried not to think of all the ways to interpret `laying down`. I noticed Bella was scrutinizing a page of the book she was reading, as if she'd just found something extremely interesting.

"Nah, it's not so bad," I told Charlie, ignoring my dad's speculating frown as I worked my hardest not to start grinning like crazy. Even Charlie was bound to get suspicious if I did that. "We've just been hanging out here. Did you have a nice time over at Sue's?"

"It was great. That woman knows how to cook. We just headed back here to watch the game. You don't have any plans today, Bella? Okay if we stay here for a bit?"

"Yeah, sure," she said absentmindedly, not taking her eyes from what appeared to be an extremely interesting page. It was kind of funny actually, since the book she had randomly picked up was my math book from 4th grade. Bella hated math.

"Good, good. You've got some beer left, Billy?" Charlie said absentmindedly, turning his head to peer back out in the hallway. He was obviously ready for some game-time.

"Suppose so," dad nodded to himself.

"You kids have fun. Let me know if I can bring you anything, Jacob. You shouldn't overwork yourself. " Charlie put a hand on my shoulder. "We'll be in the living room. Just yell out."

"Sure, thanks."

They both started to turn back to the hallway. Charlie went first, while dad turned his wheelchair and followed him. On his way out, dad turned to me and sent me a look.

"That wasn't quite what I meant when I told you to lay down," he mumbled, raising one eyebrow to send me a pointed look. He said it so low neither Bella or Charlie heard. Before I'd even got to start faking innocence, he'd wheeled his way out. He left the door open.

Oh well.

We listened as they both settled themselves in the living room, after a quick visit to the kitchen and some clucking from bottles.

"You think they noticed anything?" Bella wondered. She'd already seemed to loose all interest of the book she was holding in her lap. Weird, that.

"Nah," I calmed her. "Your dad is still convinced I have trouble blinking on my own. Horrible accident. Painkillers. You know."

My dad was another matter of course. Bella would only freak out (again, just to mention) if she knew what he'd just told me.

Bella let out a huge sigh by the end of the bed, before she dropped the book down on the floor. She hoisted herself closer and laid down beside me on the bed, seeming content and relieved. I slid my good arm around her waist, and pulled her a little closer. The door may be open, but there was a long hallway separating our dads from us. Long, nice, squeaky hallway, and a loud, terribly interesting game. Perfect.

"Sorry if I got a little bossy before," Bella mumbled against my throat. I chuckled.

"You did, actually."

"I was just freaking out."

"You don't say."

She sent me a look, and I laughed at her. I felt her smile as she rested back against my throat.

We didn't speak for a while after that, just lay there in the bed, listening to the sounds from the game out in the living room. Now and then Charlie would yell out when he got excited about something on the screen, and dad would mutter or throw in advices to the players. I felt Bella relax beside me, her heartbeat calm and breaths even against my shoulder.

I thought about earlier today. Hell, of course I was thinking about earlier today. Earlier today was probably all I was going to think about for quite some time. Bella naked in my bed? Quite a nice way to spend a daydream. And it wasn't only a daydream, it was a memory. Memories were better than daydreams. It had ended rather abruptly (as in she had dressed rather quickly), but hey, Bella was still here in bed with me so I had nothing to complain about.

I turned my head to look at her, and she peeked up at me. Her lips curved into a smile, and I tightened my arm around her waist. She sighed and rested her head back into my pillow as she rolled around to rest on her back. She closed her eyes and exhaled quietly, and was the most perfect thing I'd ever seen. I slid my hand under her shirt to rest on her stomach, letting my thumb just grace the bottom of her bra. We just lay like that, relaxing, for a long time. The world was perfect again.

After a while, she opened her mouth and drew her breath to speak. No sound escaped though, and she closed it again immediately. I didn't really think much of it, until I heard her do it again about thirty seconds later. I turned to look at her. She sent me a unreadable look and pursed her lips. I knew that look.

"What?" I demanded.

She just shook her head and smiled, a little forced, as if telling me to forget it.

"What?" I asked again.

"It's nothing."

Another one of those looks. I waited half a minute to see if she would pick up her voice from the floor and say something, but she didn't.

"Okay Bells, listen up," I told her. "Some people don't think things through before they say something, like me. And some people think so much they never get to say anything at all. That's you, Bells. Come on, what is it?"

She looked at me uncertainly and started gnawing on her lip.

"Just don't get mad, okay?"

I honestly couldn't come up with one single thing that could get me mad at the moment.

"Sure, sure. Spit it out, Bells."

"Uhm." She hesitated, drawing a deep breath and then another one before finally a sound came out. "Edward sort of told me to say hello?" Her voice turned up at the end, ending in a question.

I felt my eyebrows draw together a little. Edward. Right. For a moment I'd nearly forgot he existed. There was no room for him left in my brain, especially not when Bella was naked. Not that she was now, but man if she had been. But what on earth did she mean by that?

"Huh?"

She smiled nervously, her eyes flickering back and forth between mine. "I know. That sounded weird. But he sort of did."

I was still frowning. I didn't get it, I only felt dumber. Maybe Leah was onto something there. Maybe I just _was _stupid. "Come again. He told you to what?"

"Say hello," she finished, as if that was the most natural thing to do in the world. Maybe in one world, it was. Not this one.

"That's the message you're passing on?" I clarified. "Just 'Hello'? No 'Meet me at the border at midnight' or 'Pee in my garden and I'll kill you'? Which by the way isn't a bad idea... Anyway. Not even a 'Leave Bella alone, or else I'll-"

"Jake," Bella sighed, suddenly seeming exasperated. "He wouldn't say anything like that, you're being ridiculous."

Uh huh. I had my doubts.

She continued. "And he wasn't passing on a message or anything, and he wasn't really saying _hello_. He just asked for you. Wondered how you were."

"Since when did Edward Cullen get any interest in me and my emotional life?"

"Since the whole Victoria-thing, you idiot. And not your emotional life. He asked how your are, and you know, if you are getting better after what happened."

_Aha. _

"I see. So he's hoping I'm dying a slow and painful-"

"_No_," Bella sighed again. "He wanted to know how you're doing, you absolute moron."

"Did you just call me moron?" I grinned at her.

"I did," she huffed, trying not to smile but not managing. "And I don't regret anything because you totally deserve it."

"Ouch," I said, earning a grin from her. "You're brutal today, you know that?"

She only rolled her eyes and shook her head, making my grin widen even more.

"So Edward wanted to know how I was, huh?" I asked her.

She nodded.

"You should tell him I'm feeling great. And that I am in tip top shape. And that I'm very much alive and absolutely not anywhere close to dying or suffocating or-"

"_Jacob."_

"Sure, sure. Let's just leave it at that."

I grinned at her (not that it should be necessary to mention, since when today had I not been grinning? I couldn't even remember. No Sullen Cullen Chitchat was going to wipe this grin off this face), and leaned down to press my mouth to the side of her neck. She automatically moved to give me more space and better access to her neck. Well hello there.

I could tell she was still thinking though, and she didn't really relax. Her neck was a little stiff under my lips as I kissed my way down to her collarbone, and I knew she still had something on her mind. She wouldn't be able to relax until she'd spilled it all, I knew that. I couldn't get myself to worry though, I was simply too happy for that. This was nothing really serious, or she would have said it much sooner. Though I knew she would be gnawing on her lip before I even pulled back to look.

I was right. I pulled back only to find her in a slightly guilty expression, chewing on her lower lip in a nervous and completely distracting way. I managed to locate her eyes after a little while though, certain that my brain must have shrunk to half it's size already.

"Erm," I said. "Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"What is it?"

"It's nothing."

I sighed. Girls were hopeless.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember what I said before about thinking things through so much you'll never get the chance to say it?"

She looked down. "Yeah. It's just I don't think you'll like it much, and I don't want to argue with you." Her voice was low and quiet, and surprisingly straight forward and honest.

"Hey," I said, catching her eyes. She looked uncertain. "Let me know anyway."

She sighed, and hesitated for a few moments before she spoke. "Fine. I'll just say it then. I'm going home with Edward after school tomorrow to meet the rest of his family. We have things to talk about, they invited me over and I said yes. Feel free to hate it all you want, but that's just how it is."

The room was quiet for a little while as I processed what she was telling me. From the living room I heard dad mutter something about running to the right. Charlie groaned, and then there was the sound of booing from the TV.

"You're going to their house?" I asked her carefully. Somehow, this conversation was now trembling over deep water again. I had a feeling I would slip and drown any second. Or get drowned, rather. Depending on the freak-out factor.

"Yes," Bella said. Her eyes met mine, her expression guilty and defiant at the same time.

"Why?" I wondered.

"To discuss what is next. Just to talk, really. Nothing official, they just wanted to talk with me. Find out how I feel about things. Please, Jake, just don't make a lot of fuss about this, okay? I know what you're going to say, me going into a house with only vampires, but that's just ridiculous. Just let me do this. I know how you felt about it last time I went to see them, and I don't want –"

"Bells," I interrupted her. "You cant compare that. That's completely different."

She just looked at me, her eyes guilty and still defiant. I moved one hand to her cheek.

"Can you please stop looking at me like that?" I smiled. "I'm not going to tie you to the bed or anything." Then I paused, for a moment distracted by my own words. "Though that might be an intriguing idea, maybe some other time when your dad isn't-"

She smacked my shoulder at that, and grinned up at me. "Oh, shut up. So you're okay with it? You're not going to freak out?"

I thought about that. Bella going home to the Cullens. I didn't like it. Once, that would have been a nightmare though, and it wasn't anymore. I knew they wouldn't hurt her. At least not Edward. And not the doctor either. And not the psychic. But what about the rest of them? And what for? I still didn't like when she was around Cullen; every time I thought of it I only got these images of the old Bella, zombie Bella. Bella in the forest. Bella broken down.

I knew she still had a soft spot for him, I knew that and she probably always would have. But I was sure of her now, I knew she was confident with her own choice. I knew her. If she wanted to go, she should. I had no right to be throwing fits. Besides, it was Bella who was the one who was best at fit-throwing. I didn't have to like it, though.

There was so many things I wanted to say. But as I looked at her guilty, expecting eyes, I decided to keep it simple. So I did the thing I'd never thought I'd ever do.

"Can I come?" I asked her quietly. If she said no, that would be cool. If she said yes, that would be cool too. Her choice.

She looked at me for a few seconds, seeming surprised. "I..." she started. This was obviously not the answer she had been expecting. She looked like she had been bracing herself for some sort of refusal, like I had the right to refuse her anything. She made her own decisions, not me. Now she paused, searching my face. "Yes," she finally said. "Yes, you can."

Alright then. Time to greet the enemy.

* * *

_A.N: If you want some decent-time spoilers you should be quick, because by the end of the week I'm off to get fried on a foreign beach somewhere, sipping a humongous mint-leaf smoothie while drawing circles in the sand with my toes. You'll get them anyway when I'm back and sunburned though, with another update lurking around the corner too. _

_Sunburned or not, reviews are greatly appreciated. They make me bongodance while grinning crazy-cat-like wide, which everyone should be relieved they're not around to see. _


	30. Average Jake

**Average Jake**

* * *

"_Can I come?" I asked her quietly. If she said no, that would be cool. If she said yes, that would be cool too. Her choice. _

_She looked at me for a few seconds, seeming surprised. "I..." she started. This was obviously not the answer she had been expecting. She looked like she had been bracing herself for some sort of refusal, like I had the right to refuse her anything. She made her own decisions, not me. Now she paused, searching my face. "Yes," she finally said. "Yes, you can."_

* * *

Bella and Charlie left a few hours later, when the game had ended and the beer been consumed. I promised Bella to pick her up after school the next day, and then Charlie popped his head inside my room to say goodbye and share some wise words. When they were out of the house and the car had rumbled to life outside, I got up from the bed. The sting in my side was barely there, it didn't really bother me anymore so I had no reason to stay here. I went to stuff the bedspread in the washing machine and then cleaned up the bits of glass from under my bed. I sneaked it out in the trash in the kitchen without my dad noticing. When I went into the living room, he was watching the news and eating peanuts.

"How was the game?" I asked dad.

"Like anticipated," he muttered, unenthusiastic. Clearly they had not been winning. He returned his attention to the news, flipping a few peanuts into his mouth. I was just on my way back to my room, when he spoke up.

"Jacob?"

I turned. "Yeah?"

He was watching me steadily before he turned his head back to the tv.

"Should I take this as a sign that you are well enough to go to school tomorrow?" he asked. He sounded serious, but not stern. It was almost like if he thought something was funny.

"Take what as a sign?" I asked, without thinking.

"As I told you before, that wasn't exactly what I meant when I told you to lay down."

Oh. _That_. Jeez.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I told him untruthfully. He knew very well that I knew anyway, so it didn't really matter what I said.

"No, I bet you're not," he smiled to himself, eyes still on the screen. "Look, I'm not going to pester you. But you better be responsible, son. That's all I'm saying."

"Don't worry, old man," I told him. As I turned my back on him to hurry into my room, I swear I could hear him chuckle.

* * *

I phased the next morning. There were several reasons for this. One, because dad warned me to wait until I felt fine, and I felt fine. Two, because the doc had told me a couple of days, and this was a couple of days. Three, because I didn't feel a stab at all this morning. And fourth, because I really didn't want to cram myself and Bells into the House of Doom later this evening without having made any reassurances that I would be able to protect myself and her. Not that it would be necessary, but still. It would be stupid not to be absolutely sure.

A few other guys were out running, most of them were soon done with their night shift. Now that Victoria was reduced to dandruff, there wasn't a need to keep the patrolling as heavy as before. Though there were still a bunch of other vamps around, at least in theory. We hadn't seen much of them here lately, for which I was thankful.

_There you are,_ Sam greeted me. _I was wondering when you would start getting impatient. _

_Does this mean you're good as new? _Embry wondered.

_Feels like it,_ I grinned. My mood was still sort of, kinda spotless since yesterday, thank-you-very-much.

_Hey hey! _Quil cheered. _Someone's been getting some!_

I ignored him, but couldn't keep from grinning. And then, out of habit, I prepared the sarcastic remark I would give to Leah when she would snort, like she always did when common thoughts touched this area.

Only she didn't snort. Because she wasn't here.

Of course.

_She hasn't been around lately,_ Sam replied to my inner monologue. He seemed concerned. _But Seth says she was home all yesterday, and everything seems fine. I guess it was nothing after all. It has just been a while since she's been around. I guess she should take some time off, now that the worst is over._

Uh oh.

_Okay,_ I said quickly, for a second slipping a glimpse of Leah at my house drinking coffee. _Yeah, I spoke to her yesterday._

_You did? _Sam asked, for a moment confused. _But why-?_

_Look, I need to go, I'll talk to you later, okay? _I hurried, before I could slip something else. _She's fine, don't worry. Quil, Embry, you joining me for school?_

_Sure_, they grumbled unenthusiastic.

_See you, then,_ I thought, and hurried to phase back.

Dammit. That wasn't suppose to happen. Sam wasn't supposed to know. Or, rather I wasn't supposed to be the one to tell him. This wasn't really any of my business. But there wasn't much I could do about it, really. I'd just hope I didn't have to phase in the nearest future, so Sam could figure this out on his own without my interference. I didn't want to be the middle man. He might just shoot the messenger for all I knew. He probably would.

I put Sam in the back of my head to think of later. At least I could be glad everything was functioning as it should. No sore spots, no broken ribs. No problems at all. I could phase and roar and rip and defend if needed. Not that it was, but just in case.

I'd only been running a few hundred meters while checking in, but my school wasn't far away from here. I started walking through the forest while dressing, intending to meet Quil and Embry by the entrance to the school like normal. Everything was back to normal, just like that. I just couldn't get used to it. No more redheads to chase. Extra spare time. Sleep. School. Like before. It felt weird.

Or, I guess it wasn't exactly like before. I had a girlfriend now. A senior. A hot one. Chiefs daughter, childhood friend, best girl ever. There were still a bunch of leeches living close by, one of them conveniently being her ex. Leeches which I and mentioned girlfriend was about to visit later today. Drop by, have a chat. Polite, friendly, unthreatening, uneventful.

How nice.

Quil and Embry were already there when I entered the school yard. Embry seemed fine, Quil looked like dead meat.

"I don't like this," Quil informed us while we walked towards our classroom. "I just had a night shift."

He looked just like if he was ready to find a nice, comfy history book to use as a pillow for the next few hours. Embry made an awing sound and patted his cheek while mumbling something about princesses and beauty sleep, earning a misplaced punch in return. Our laughter echoed through the hallway as the bell rang.

Normal. Like before. Weird.

The day passed, exceptionally uneventful. We stayed at school the entire day, and I was feeling unusually awake. Maybe not so weird, after spending about three days in bed sleeping half the time (I do admit I spent some time daydreaming about what Bella and I had been spending that other half doing).

The day ticked to an end, and the bell rang one final time. We were on our way out of the school yard when I heard someone calling my name. I looked up, only to find Leah leaning against the fence on the other side of the road. She nodded for me to join her.

"I'll catch up with you," I told the others, receiving a confused okay and a sleepy grumble as I walked away from them.

Leah was looking like always, slightly bored and amused while she waited for me to reach her.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her.

"I'm waiting for you."

It took me a second. "You are?"

"No, you twat. I'm out running. Saw you and thought I'd say hello. Jeez, you're even easier to fool than my baby brother."

I only shook my head. True, she was wearing a running outfit and she was kind of sweaty. "Sure, sure."

"So you're back in school, huh?"

"I never was away, really."

"I know. But you weren't around a lot either."

"Guess not." I looked at her. She was smirking slightly. "How's the self control going?" I asked.

She crossed her arms over her chest and looked down.

"It's going."

"You don't sound convinced."

"Fine," she huffed. "Not so good, actually. That's why I'm running. It helps. Eases is up a bit."

"But you haven't phased yet?"

"No. But it's damn hard, if you need to know. But I'm gonna do it. I just need practice."

I only shrugged. Time to change the subject.

"Guess where I'm going today," I dared her.

"You're going to see Bella. Wow, I'm a psychic." Leah rolled her eyes and tapped a finger to her forehead.  
"Good one. And we are going somewhere smelly."

"You're taking her to your room?"

_Ha ha. _

"Funny. No. We're visiting the Cullens."

"Huh. Why?" She frowned, looking up at me with raised eyebrows. "I can't say I envy you."

"I don't envy me either," I admitted. "Just to get them to leave, I hope. At least that's_ my_ plan."

"Good luck with that."

"Thanks. You too. With the self control thing."  
"Sure. See ya."

She turned and continued to run down the road like she originally had been. I hurried back to my other two friends, who'd gotten a head start. Leah taking a jog. On two feet. Again, it hit me how _normal _everything was today. For so long, anyway.

After getting home, eating some and taking a quick look at the watch on the mantel piece, I figured if was about time for me to leave to pick Bella up after school. If _I _wasn't there to pick her up, someone else might _see _that, ahem, and I didn't want any of that. No smelly psychics were going to mess this up today.

Twenty minutes later I had already parked outside Bella's school. It was the same spot I'd parked last time I picked her up, which seemed like ages ago. I got out, and leaned against the hood of the Rabbit while I remembered back to that day. She had been walking alongside the Newton bloke, trying to politely decline his invitation to a date, but failing miserably. It was the second time we'd kissed, and I remembered the surprise and elation I felt as if it was only yesterday.

The bell rang. People started to ooze out. I waited, grinning to myself as I had an enormous flashback from last time I was waiting here. Nothing had changed much, really. Except it was all different now.

I noticed her as soon as she entered the school yard. She didn't walk alongside Mike this time - she was walking alone, the same old gym bag slung over her tiny shoulder. She looked tired and thoughtful, and she didn't see me until she was only about twenty meters away. When she noticed me though, her face lit up and stretched into a wide grin. And then, just like last time, she started running towards me, the bag thumping unevenly against her thigh as she ran, and slung her arms around me. She laughed in my ear when I lifted her up, and my day just got about a thousand times better.

"Hey Bells," I grinned.

"Hi," I heard her whisper against my shoulder. "Missed you."

I pulled back to look at her. Her face looked a bit tired and drawn, but she grinned back so widely I couldn't help but laugh at her. She stretched up on her toes as far as she could go and kissed me, not even seeming to care that people were staring. If they were staring at all. I wouldn't really know. I was kissing Bella Swan. Everything else stopped existing for a minute.

When she pulled back, I took the bag from her shoulder and slung it over my own. I turned to open the door for her in a totally gentlemanly way, resisting the urge to bow, and she only rolled her eyes and grinned as she got inside. I slung her bag in the backseat before getting in myself.

"What's up?" I asked her, as I turned the key in the ignition. I looked over at her. She was resting her head back in the seat, looking at me with a smile on her lips. She looked exhausted. "You look nearly worse than Quil, and he had a night shift. I nearly had to carry him home."

Bella was watching me with warm eyes. "It's just been a lot going on today" she sighed. " My exams are coming up, like,_ now_, and I'm just realizing it about a month too late."

Oh, right. Exams. Graduation. I'd nearly forgot.

"Well," I told her. "You _have_ been busy trying to survive a few murder attempts."

She only smiled sleepily at me, and rested deeper down in her seat.

"You sure you're up for this now?" I asked her, a little more seriously. I wasn't one to object if this tea party was moved to a later date. Possibly late as in never. Some sleep and bed and Bella-snuggling seemed way more appealing right now. "We could always-"

"No, I want to do it," she interrupted me. "I've already told them I was coming."

I could have argued, told her they would understand and that they really had all the time in the word (Really. They did.), but I didn't say anything else. I only smiled, and continued to drive down the main road leading away from La Push, towards the House of Marble. This was her decision, and I had already decided to play nice. I turned to look at her again after a while. She'd closed her eyes.

"It's a little funny actually," I said, smiling to myself. She opened her eyes. "You're becoming the new _me."_

"The new you?" she said, sounding confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Right now, you are exactly like I was two months ago. Too much to do, never time to sleep, walking around like a zombie. And it's a little funny because, right now, I'm off. I'm free, having spare time for the first time in forever. While you have exams and graduation."

She looked at me for a second.

"Yeah," she dragged. "That's hilarious. You have exams too, haven't you?"

"Yeah, but I'm not graduating." I turned back towards the road. "It'll go fine, it always does somehow." Most of it was pretty easy anyway. I'd never failed before, I wouldn't now.

"Great," Bella grumbled and closed her eyes again. I laughed at her. Her lips twitched some as if fighting a grin, and she opened one eye to peek at me.

We didn't speak much after that, but drove the rest of the road mostly in silence. Bella was snoozing lightly in her seat, her hand resting in mine where it belonged. I let her sleep. It was comfortable, nice, just the two of us.

For so long, anyway.

I turned down the long road that I knew wound up to Residence Coffin. I'd never really been here before, at least not driving down the main road like this. From each turn of the road I got more and more skeptical. When a humongous house finally appeared in front of us, I knew this was it. Really, there wasn't much doubt about it. It fit them perfectly. Not dark and coffinish like I had expected, but grande and fancy and very _them. _It looked freaking expensive. No doubt it was too.

I snorted to myself. Like if finally realizing where I was and what I was doing. Why for the loving mother was I _doing _this? This was insane.

_To get them to leave, _I reminded myself. _It's better than Bella going here alone. You're only here because of her. _Still, it was crazy. I felt like a businessman going into the lions cave trying to negotiate about killing the lamb.

I parked the car as far away as I could, and reached over to lightly shake Bella's shoulder. She woke with a startle.

"We're here," I said simply. I could've said many things about how it was time to roll, or to let the blood float or just a plain 'Welcome to hell', but again I kept it simple. She blinked for a few times, took in the great house in front of her, frowned slightly. We got out simultaneously, without saying much else. I tried my best to ignore the nose-tearing smell, and not to remind myself that it would only get worse from here.

Bella grabbed my hand tightly as we walked up towards the house. In the middle of all my skepticism, I was suddenly glad for being here with her.

We all knew there was no need to knock. We all knew they were standing lined up inside, somewhere behind those large, reflecting windows. Looking. Listening. Waiting. Still, we walked hand in hand up their driveway and up the porch as we would on any other, normal home. As we stood in front of their door it took all my self control not to say something stupid, come on, they _knew _we were standing right here. I resisted though, and lifted my hand to knock. Once.

A few seconds passed, and then the door opened. The reeking stench of leech flowed out towards us like a wave, intensifying ten times. On the other side of the threshold was Doctor Fang, smiling to us as if he were genuinely pleased to see us both. If he was surprised I was here, he was hiding it well. _Of course, they've had some time to get used to the thought, _I thought dryly. _The psychic have probably known this for a month._

Bella smiled to the doctor. I'm not sure what my expression was, but it was surprisingly pleasant to see him when I had been expecting the Douche. The doctor really was the one leech in the world I didn't have a problem with. He was nice, in his own sparkly stoney way. And it was probably thanks to him I was standing here today too, and not being strapped to some bed with ribs pointing out in every direction.

"Bella, Jacob," he greeted us politely, and smiled a genuine but still sharp-angled smile. "Please come in."

_House of Horror, here I come. _

It reeked. I'd thought it was bad outside. Outside was heaven compared to this.

"Hi Carlisle," Bella said quietly. She was smiling, but I could hear the nervousness in her voice too.

"Hello," I said. My voice sounded funny.

"How nice to see you both again," the doctor smiled as Bella entered the hallway. I followed closely behind her. "Jacob, I see you are up and going. How are you feeling? I can prescribe you more painkillers if you need more, just say the word. Did you try to phase yet? Did everything work all right?" He looked at me eagerly, his voice filled with professional and genuine interest.

"I'm great," I told him truthfully (we were speaking of my medical condition after all, not my present state of mind, which may not be so great). "Really, I owe you a thank you for what you did. I'm really grateful. We all are."

"Don't mention it," he waved off. "I was only doing my job. Please come in, they are all waiting for you."

He gestured for us to walk into what must be the living room. I fell in behind Bella, instinctively keeping close to her. I had to turn my back to doctor Fang by doing that though, which was completely un-instinctual and not logic at all, but strangely it didn't bother me. Much. There was a strange era of 'reliable' around him, I thought, just as we entered the living room.

It was like the spooky house in colors. No ghosts or zombies though, only shiny, stiff, wax-like figures disguised in fancy fashion items hiding behind design furniture and expensive artwork. I had been right. They were all lined up around the living room (which by the way looked just as expensive and fancy as the rest of the house and was reeking just as badly, if not worse), strategically placed in what obviously was supposed to be casual positions.

Mrs. Fang was standing by the armchair, smiling motherly at us both. The Douche was there too, _of course_, standing beside the piano stool with eyes only for Bella. The Psychic was standing next to the moody one, grinning widely at us both. Mr Moody was keeping his distance, whom which I was grateful; that guy gave me the creeps. Blondie was sitting stiffly in the sofa, ankles crossed. She was wrinkling her nose, looking at me like if I was a cockroach. The big one was sitting next to her, actually managing to look a bit casual. Doctor Fang took his place next to Mrs. Fang, making the image complete. Big, happy family. Yay.

"Bella!" the Psychic beamed, walking towards us while leaving Mr. Moody behind by the lamp. "_There _you are."

She opened her arms and before I knew it they were hugging, which was weird and so not cool. I automatically inched forward. I hated it when Bella was hugging leeches. She really was into dangerous sports wasn't she. Mr Muscle eyed me speculatively, as if trying to figure me out or something.

"I haven't seen you in forever!" the Psychic said to her, sending me a dissatisfied look over her shoulder. Clearly, that was _my _fault. Fair enough. "I'm going _crazy. _I _hate _being blind. I can't see _anything _about you anymore!"

I smiled.

I looked over at The Douche. His face was smooth, blank. He was still only looking at Bella. The Psychic was now backing down a little, making me relax some. She took a few steps away from Bella. As she did, The Douche ghosted forward.

"Bella," he breathed, drinking in her face with his eyes. "How are you?"

"I'm good," she said, smiling. "How about you?"

He lifted one side of his mouth into a little smile. "I can't complain. You look tired," he noted, tilting his head to the side.

"Exams," she explained. "I'm graduating, you know."

He smiled, as if finding her words amusing. "Yes," he said. "I know the feeling."

They smiled, and several of the others too. Someone chuckled quietly. Must be some private joke.

"Please, sit down," Mrs Fang said, gesturing us towards the nearest couch. Bella sat down, and I hesitated before sitting down beside her on the very edge.

"Are you graduating too, Jacob?" Mrs. Fang asked conversationally, as she sat down in the chair opposite us and crossed her legs.

This was freaking weird.

"Uhm, no," I told her. "I'm only at my second year."

"Oh, I see," she beamed. "I thought you were the same age."

It felt a bit like being interrogated by the new mother in law for the first time. Only it weren't like that at all.

"Perhaps you would like something to drink?" Doctor Fang offered pleasantly.

I had a very hard time trying to keep my face straight.

"No thanks," Bella said awkwardly beside me, as if she too just got funny images of cups of blood in her head. Only they weren't funny, not at all actually.

There were snickers around the room by her strangled reply. Family Fang clearly thought her awkwardness was amusing and adorable.

"Bella," Mrs. Fang said kindly. "We have coffee and tea and soda and juice."

"Okay. Maybe some tea?" Bella croaked.

"Of course, dear. What about you, Jacob?"

"No thanks," I told her politely, still keeping that straight face. "Nothing for me."

_I could always hunt down my own deers, if I felt like it._

Doctor Fang dashed away into the house to put the kettle on, like if this was something he did every day.

"You know Bella," Mr Muscle said. "It's fun to see you again, but I'm sort of glad you don't stop by every day. It really does stink around you now."

Hah. As if _he _was one to complain about stinking. I was taking a steamed shower in bleach at the moment.

The Douche and Bella both rolled their eyes. Mr. Muscle eyed me with curious interest.

"You're not the first to tell me that," Bella answered him, glancing in the direction of the Douche. "But I just don't get it. You all smell fine to me."

"I'm just kidding," Mr. Muscle grinned at her, flashing his white teeth. I shuddered. "It's nice to finally meet the dog everybody's talking about. Congrats on the new pet."

Bella opened her mouth to say something, but then seemed lost for words.

"So I'm famous around here, huh?" I said, feeling an urge to stick up for myself. "Funny. I don't think anyone ever mentioned you before."

GlitterMuscle wasn't offended. In fact he barked out a laugh. "Ouch," he grinned. "You need to tame that one better, Bella. The dog might pee on the carpet."

"At least I don't bite," I told him, making Barbie snort loudly and glare at the ceiling.

I was no longer a businessman in the cave of a lion. I was now the average Joe drinking tea at some friends house. Only the friends weren't friends, they were leeches. Going to school. Visiting some leeches. Sipping tea. Making jokes. Completely normal.

I nearly missed my old messy life. At least it didn't stink as badly there.

* * *

_A.N: _

_30 chapters? Oh my, this story turned out to be longer than planned. Massive, sunburned thank you to JJ Twi1ight for taking the time to beta, and also to all of you who left a review. I heart you all. *creepy Cheshire Cat grins*_

_It would make me very happy if you wanted to leave a comment and share your opinion. Your reward starts with an S and ends with poilers. _


	31. More averageness and a skirt

_A.N: __We left our two main characters inside Recidence Coffin, sipping tea and exchanging jokes ..._

* * *

**More averageness and a skirt**

* * *

"There you go," said Doctor Fang gently, as he put down one gigantic cup of steaming, hot tea on the table in front of Bella. "We have lemon too, if you'd like that, or maybe some milk? I know some people like milk in their tea, or maybe sugar? We have both white and brown."

"This is fine, thank you," Bella said, while I wondered when this had turned into a tea saloon. The doctor only nodded, smiled, and went to sit down next to his wife.

"So," said Blondie sharply when no one seemed to speak up immediately. "Should we get to the point?"

Bella swallowed loudly and reached for the tea. The Douche sighed, and went to sit down over by the piano stool on the other side of the room, facing towards us. Or Bella, more accurately.

"As you know, we promised to stay here until Victoria was caught," he began, fixing his gaze upon her face. Bella sipped her tea nervously. "We promised we would stay here as long as it takes until we could be sure that you are no longer in danger."  
I had a hard time not to snort. Let the seven lethal vampires hang out in the neighborhood just to _keep the human safe. _Oh, the irony. As if she wouldn't have been seven times safer without them here. The Douche ignored me.

"Now," he continued, drawing an unnecessary breath while studying her face. "Victoria is no longer here. She is dead, and won't be a danger to you any more."

His eyes flashed to me for the tenth of a second. "And for that I am grateful," he said.

_Huh. _

"As for the other two nomads," said Doctor Fang, "James and Laurent, they are gone too. You can no longer be in danger from anyone of them." He smiled at her pleasantly.

"And I really can't see you any more," the psychic spoke up, sounding not so pleasant. She sent me an accusing look. "So I really have no idea how you are going to be or what is going to happen with you. No one seems to be considering _that-_"

"But," Doctor Fang interrupted her. "There is nothing pointing in a direction that you are in any danger, at least not that any of us _can_ see."

The psychic rolled her eyes. The Douche quickly looked at me, and it looked like he was about to say something, but then didn't. There was a pause, when all yellowish eyes shifted between looking from Bella to me and back to her again. Bella gulped down some more tea.

"So," I dragged. "What are you trying to say here?"

They looked at each other. Then the Douche spoke up.

"What we are really saying is that," he turned to Bells. "It's up to you. You can decide. Do you want us to leave?"

The way he said it, made it clear he wasn't saying 'us' as much as 'me'. I felt Bella shrink beside me as this heavy decision landed on her tiny shoulders.

"Now wait a minute," I told him. "That's not fair. You're playing the guilt card and you know it."

"I'm not trying to-"

"Maybe not, but you are anyway. Really. And no offense, but you have been coming and going just as it suits you until now. What makes this any different?"

He set his eyes in me. "I've already tried to force Bella to do my way once, and it didn't work very well. I'm giving her a choice to decide for herself."

I didn't waver. "Still. It's not fair to put that decision solely on her."

To my surprise, Barbie nodded in agreement. Didn't expect that one.

The Douche only looked at Bella with an expectant look, waiting for her answer as if I hadn't said anything at all.

"Look," she said, her voice quivering slightly. "I don't want to order you around. It is not for me to decide where you are going to live."

Blondie snorted loudly, but not loud enough for Bella to hear. So Bella continued.

"But please, don't...don't stay for me," she finished weakly. "Victoria is gone. You don't have to stay for me."

"But do you want us to stay, Bella?" Edward asked. "Do you _want_ us to stay?"

There were no doubt that he wasn't talking about the whole family this time.

"I don't mind you being here," she said carefully. "I miss you, sometimes. All of you."

She looked around at the whole family, including the Douche. My stomach clenched, and I forced myself to stay still. For a moment I dreaded she was going to ask them to stay. If she did _that_-

"But the pack does mind that you're staying here," she continued, interrupting my train of thoughts. "I mean, if you look at it from the pack's view, it will only increase the number of inevitable transformations. More children who really doesn't have to be dragged into any of this. It is bad enough as it is. I mean, there are so many other places in the world without people carrying the wolf-gene. To stay here, it would be almost ironic."

Blondie snorted again. Maybe she had a disease.

"But what about you? What do _you _want?" Edward pressed, clearly not caring about the pack. Go figure.

"We're not going to force you to decide anything, Bella," Mrs Fang said kindly, trying to disarm her pretend son. Edward wasn't ruffled though, but kept his eyes intently on Bells waiting for her reply. Bella smiled to them both, and drew a deep breath before she spoke up.

"It's not that I don't want you here," she said softly. "I just think that maybe it would be easier if you weren't here...all the time." She cast a quick look at their faces, as if gauging their reactions. There wasn't much difference, really. Maybe it had something to do with being made out of stone, what did I know. Even the Douche was still, seeming to be expecting her words. "But I'm not going to force you to leave either," Bella finished.

There were some quiet sniggers around the room, by her choice of words. As if Bella could force them to do anything. Edward didn't smile, though. He was deadly serious.

"How can I know you will be safe?" he asked her directly. "When I wont be here to look after you?"

Apparently he'd given up the 'we' nonsense.

"You said yourself there are no one after me now," Bella told him kindly.

"I'm not speaking of the nomads. I mean from other dangers."

"There are no other dangers. And I can take care of myself, like everyone else."

He looked at her intently. "There are always other dangers. Something could happen with you, an accident, or-" his eyes flashed to me. "-or maybe one of the werewolves-"

Bella interrupted him, more sternly this time. "The wolves are no danger to me."

"Let's face it, Bella, they can be unstable, especially the young ones."

I had a very hard time not to snarl at him. But maybe this wasn't the best place to pick a fight, so I settled with a nasty glare._ I wont let anything hurt her. _

"You're being ridiculous," Bella told him firmly. My heart swelled a little with pride at the confidence in her voice. I poked an imaginary tongue at him in my head.

Edward ignored me again, and drew an unconvinced breath. "Since Alice can't guarantee-"

Bella cut him off again. "I know that she can't guarantee anything. And I think that's a good thing."

That shut him up, and made him stop dead in his tracks - no pun intended. The Douche only looked at her, waiting for her to explain.

"Alice wont be able to guarantee anything, no matter where you stay," Bella said, her voice mild again. She turned to cast a quick smile at me. "Either you stay here or you go somewhere else, she wont be able to see me. That's just how it is now."

_In your face._

I was too happy to even bother looking at his expression – my heart must have burst into double size already. She'd stay. With me. No matter what. It didn't really matter. Who cares, really. Leech, no leech. Doesn't matter. This wasn't new, she'd told me this before, but it made me just as happy every time she did. I was very aware of how exposed I was at the moment, with both Mr. Douche and Mr. Moody crawling under my skin, but I just didn't care.

After a brief silence, Bella spoke up again. Her eyes were kind, looking at Edward while she spoke.

"So what I'm saying is... I just think that...maybe...it would be best? I mean, just if you weren't here all the time. It's not that I never want to see you again, of course not. But – life moves on."

The room went quiet again.

"I mean," Bella hurried to say. "Like, as in, the days pass. You know, not as in, aging or anything. Since you don't – I mean. I meant, like, you know. Just seasons and – stuff."

Mr. Muscle and Mr. Moody sniggered a little, amused, and there was some spread chuckling around the room. Even the douche smiled warmly at her.

"Whatever you want," he finally said, still smiling. "Whatever you want, Bella. Whatever is best for you."

That was something, at least. I felt myself exhale.

"I guess this is for the best," he continued, more to himself this time. He didn't look happy saying it, but somehow I sensed that he meant it nonetheless. "I guess this is for the best," he repeated to himself, too low for Bella to hear, looking down at his hands. Then his head snapped up, he looked over at Doctor Fang, and then nodded slightly.

"How about this?" Doctor Fang spoke up. "Graduation is only a couple of weeks away. How about we stay until then, and then we can leave after that. Does that seem okay?" he asked pleasantly, addressing the whole room including Bella and me. "Does anyone have an objection to this?"

I looked at Bella, who seemed to be fine with it. Okay. Fair enough. _Just until graduation. Which is just around the corner. That seems fair._ There were some mumbling around the room, someone shrugging. Blondie actually looked pretty pleased, as if she couldn't wait to get out of here.

"Then that is settled," Doctor Fang finished.

"But Carlisle, what about your work-?" Bella suddenly remembered, and I watched incredulously as the guilt started to wash over her face. Doctor Fang hurried to wave her off.  
"My work? Bella, don't even think about it. I'll find a new job, it will be easy. Really, we would have to move away soon anyway. I'm starting to look a little too young to be in my late thirties, don't you think?"

He smiled at her reassuringly, and she relaxed a little.

"Okay," she said. "Just- Just know that I don't want it to seem to like I'm chasing you away. I just thought it would be easiest, that's all."

Her eyes flashed to Edward, uncertain. He smiled at her.

"Don't worry, Bella. As Carlisle said, we would have to leave in not long anyway. This is for the best."

He sounded like he was trying to convince himself of that, rather than reassuring Bella. Maybe he thought if he said it out loud many times it would feel right too. It was right, though. It was for the best. I couldn't make myself to feel sorry for the guy. He'd done too much damage for that. Bella only nodded, sent him a quick smile and moved her gaze to look around the room.

She didn't see the longing look he sent her.

* * *

Bella finished her tea after a while, but not nearly quickly enough, thankyouverymuch. It felt like my nose was bleeding by the constant stench and I really couldn't wait to get out of here. The vamps were, surprisingly, not so horrible as I expected them to be - _I can't believe I'm even thinking this - _but it was still extremely awkward and unreal and weird. Just the whole setting. So when Bella finally stood up and thanked for her tea like it was a really expensive gift or something -_which it probably was too, at least expensive - _I was more than happy to join her.

The rest of the family told her goodbye – _more hugging, it was terrible, especially when Mr. Muscle started grabbing her up and swinging her around, I nearly had a stroke – _and to take care -_ then when he kissed her cheek and she started to _blush _for the love of god, I nearly grabbed her and made a run for it - _we were finally about to leave. The rest of them settled into their own doings - _whatever it is that you do when you've lived forever and will live forever, I have no idea – _while we walked down the hallway towards the front door.

The Douche joined us, though. And the psychic. They went first, leading the way while Bella and I followed. When we reached the door and Bella took a step towards it, the psychic twirled around to grab her wrist.

"Wait, I have something for you," she said, beaming at Bella while dragging her with her towards the staircase and away from me. I followed instinctively, reaching out to Bella's other hand to keep her close to me. The psychic eyed my hand on Bella's, her eyebrows raised.

"Cool it, furball," she said. "This is girl business."

I looked over at Bella, and I realized how ridiculous we were all looking. It was as if Bella was a toy we both wanted; about to be torn in two down the middle.

Bella only smiled. "It's okay," she said. "I'll be back soon. Just wait here."

I let go of her hand, and then couldn't help myself but sneaking a longing look over at the front door and the fresh air I knew was outside. Bella smiled knowingly, and the psychic nudged her hand again.

"You two can just...erm...bond while we're away," the psychic said, casting a quick glance over my shoulder. I turned, and realized the Douche was still there. Oh. Wonderful. When I turned back, all I saw was a mass of brown hair as the psychic sped up and all but dragged Bella into the depths of the house. My stomach knotted again. I didn't like it, but I knew I didn't really have anything to fear.

Or perhaps the psychic took off quickly because she was aware of the possible explosion that surely was to take place behind her. I turned back towards the Douche, who was watching me.

"I need some air," I told him dryly, before I walked straight past him and reached for the door.

It was heaven. It was paradise, it was the best air I'd ever inhaled. It wasn't _clean_, by far, the stench was still there, but it wasn't as horribly concentrated as inside the house. I took a few steps out on the porch, filling my nose with the awesomeness. It was like being born again.

The Douche followed.

He closed the door behind him. And then he turned towards me, just looking at me. This should get interesting. I realized we hadn't been face to face, alone, since – since never. I'd never met him without the pack or Bella around. He'd never wanted to talk to _me_ before. Maybe he didn't want to talk now either. Maybe he was planning to smear my guts all over the lawn. Actually, that wasn't highyly unlikely.

"I'm not going to attack you" he said.

Ah. Again with the head poking. Fantastic. Of course, he could just be saying that. They were good with words.

"I mean it," he said.

_If someone were to walk down the driveway right now, _I thought, _you would look like a maniac talking to yourself. _

"No," he said. "It would look like I was talking to you, and you would be listening. I guess it would look like I was saying something important, because you look kind of tense."

"So do you," I snorted. I did him the honor of saying it out loud because it was difficult to snort properly inside your head. Just try. Impossible.

He smiled.

Hah, wasn't this just neat. Was it now we were supposed to have a nice little chat about Bells, he would tell me all the pros and cons and I would defend her? So very movie.

"You're annoyed," he said, amused.

I snorted again. Maybe Blodie had infected me. "No kidding. Annoyed is my middle name."

We stood in silence for a few moments. I was thinking about what to say next, he was probably just listening in and laughing at my pathetic ways to attempt smalltalk. Finally, curiosity mingled with suspicion took the upper hand.

"Why do you...?" I started, but then shut my mouth, not able to find the right word to finish.

"Why do I back down?" he finished the sentence for me. He paused and pressed his lips together, figuring out how to answer. "I don't. I never will. I will always be there, somewhere, waiting for you to do a mistake. She only needs to hint at it, and I'll be there. I will never back down on that. If you leave her, or hurt her in any way..." His voice trailed off, his eyes boring into mine. I knew what he was thinking.

"I wont," I said loudly. "I'll never i_mprint."_ I spat the last word.

"You can't know that," he waved me off. "That's not in your control."

I didn't reply. I didn't have to speak for him to know exactly what I thought about him. He continued nonetheless, unaffected.

"If you can't be there for her any more, if she doesn't want you, I'll be there. I will never back down. But I never wish to cause her any pain either. And making her leave you, force her to reconsider, would cause her a great deal of pain. It would only ruin her, she is so terrified to hurt anyone, she would be devastated. I don't want that. All I want is for her to be happy. If staying with you makes her happy, that's all I can ask for. But I will make sure she stays happy. Always."

I felt my eyes tighten.

"You came back for her before. You left her once, but you came back. You couldn't deal with your decision then. What makes you stick to this now?"

"That was different," he said at once. "I didn't know how she was then. I left with no word of goodbye, no reassurance that she would be okay. I was sure she would move on after a few weeks, but she didn't. And that's my fault, I know that. I calculated wrongly. That was unforgivable."

I agreed.

"So are you really going to leave?" I asked him bluntly.

He looked down before he answered, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the banister.

"I meant what I said before," he said. "We'll leave after graduation, if that still is Bella's wish." He looked down at his hands, his face all sharp and angled like always. "It's probably for the best," he added.

"You keep saying that," I noted. _Not that I don't agree. _

He only nodded to himself. "Yes. I know. When I left her, I left for her to be able to move on and have a normal life. She didn't though – she met you." He cast me a quick look. "Werewolves weren't exactly the thing I'd planned for her. I'd expected a lawyer or a dentist or a doctor, maybe. Anything but you."

I didn't dignify that with an answer.

"Yes, I know," he said, interpreting my silence correctly (duh). "You're not _bad. _I know you wont hurt her, I know you wouldn't let anything happen to her. If I didn't know that, I wouldn't be able to even consider leaving at all. If it weren't for the circumstances, I might even like you. I know you can protect her, which is good since she is a danger magnet. I know how much you love her. I know your sincerity, I know that you would do anything. She's happy. She was happy before I even came back, I know that." He sighed. "You are careless and impulsive and say all the wrong things, but you make her happy, somehow. I don't get how you do it, but you do. And I figured, if you can make her this happy, you can't be all bad. So as much as I wish things were different, maybe this is for the best. But that doesn't mean I have to like it."

He finished off his little speech, and turned to look out over the forest in front of us. A moment of silence passed.

"You've really been picking through my brains, haven't you?" I said dryly.

One side of his mouth lifted into a crooked smile. "You're a loud broadcaster," he admitted.

The door opened behind me then, and I was greatly relieved to see Bella reappear in the hallway along with the psychic. She smiled at me, bringing her own scent to mix with the fresh air and sickening sweet stench. She was clutching a paper bag in her hand; I eyed it carefully.

"Should we get going?" she asked me.

I nodded heartily, way too eager to be polite. I watched as she turned, exchanging a hug and some thank you's with the psychic, before she stepped out on the porch. Then she turned to Edward.

"I'll talk to you later, right?" she asked, uncertain. "I don't want you to disappear on me again, just like that. That's not what I meant back there.""

He smiled, and nodded. She took a few uncertain steps towards him. They hugged. I studied the ceiling. It was painted white, like the rest of the house.

"Sorry," I heard her whisper. However this time I wasn't offended. She'd already explained she was sorry for hurting him, not sorry for the way things turned out. I hated that she was the one apologizing all the time though. I hated that he made her think she had to be sorry.

"Don't be," I heard him say back. I continued to study the ceiling. It was surprisingly clean to be outdoors.

Then I felt her hand touch mine, and when I looked down, she was standing next to me with her hand resting comfortably in mine.

"Ready?" she asked. Stupid question.

I grinned at her, nodded, and we started walking down the porch steps towards the Rabbit. Bella turned to wave once. I turned too, nodding slightly. The porch was empty by the time we'd reached the car.

We got in, got the engine started, and I started driving down the long road winding away from the house. As I did, it was as if exhaling deeply. We were done. Soon, soon they would be gone. Bella was happy. The Douche was still a douche. But soon he wouldn't be my problem.

And I hadn't even phased once.

"What's in the bag?" I asked Bella when we reached the main road and I was able to speed up some. The more distance we put between us and them the better. I eyed the brown paper bag in her lap sceptically. "It smells."

"Oh, shut up," she said, smiling. "It's just a gift."

"A gift?"

"Yeah. Alice guessed I would need it, so she gave it too me now."

"What is it?"

"A skirt."

"A skirt?"

"Yeah. For graduation."

"Oh."

Silence.

"'Oh'?" she said, mimicking my tone while arching a brow.

"Yeah."

"Why are you so skeptical?"

"I'm not," I told her truthfully. "I'm just picturing you in a skirt."

I turned to look at her, and she only grinned at me while shaking her head as she turned to look out the window. A few moments passed as we gained speed. It felt nice driving again. Everything felt nice now, actually.

"Thanks for coming today," she said quietly after a while, still looking out the window. "I'm glad you did."

"Yeah?" I was glad to be with her, though I had no wish in repeating the visit.

"Yeah. It made it all much easier," she finished.

"Good." I only smiled at her, before looking back at the road.

Another few moments passed.

"So," I said, feeling the smile on my face as I predicted her reaction. "How short is the skirt we're talking about here?"

She laughed and punched my shoulder at that, just as I knew she would.

"It's decent, you perv."

* * *

_The reason I've been taking my time with this, is because I wanted Bella to choose. I wanted her to make a conscious decision, fully and one hundred percent aware of her options and actions. Because in the original story, I felt like she was just swimming around. She loved Jacob, but she didn't know it, and when she found out, it was too late. Gah *smacks forehead*. No, none of that. She needed to be sure of herself before she started making decisions – not just being dragged from side to side._

_Monstrous thank you to JJ Twi1ight and kallmecrazy for taking time out of their busy lives to help me out with this story, and m__onstrous spoilers for those who get a sudden (and very appreciated) urge to review ;) _


	32. Magic and Marshmallows

_A.N: Magical thank you to kallmecrazy and JJ Twi1ight for sitting inside on sunny summer days just to help me out with this one._

_And a marshmallow to all of you who reviewed ;)_

* * *

**Magic and Marshmallows**

* * *

_Are you insane? _Sam barked. _What, under these circumstances, made you think this was a good idea? _

_It turned out all right, didn't it? _I defended myself weakly.

_That was stupid and you know it. _

There had been two days. Two days since my disturbingly average visit to Family Fang. Two days of more unusual averageness, just to mention. The hours of patrolling had been mercifully reduced, something we were all enjoying greatly. This also meant more school, which wasn't a huge source of enjoyment, but the sleep and rest and ability to walk on two legs and sleep for eight hours straight was a nice replacement to patrols. That was also the reason why this was my first time on patrol since the tea party in mention, and Sam wasn't pleased when he finally found out.

_You should have told me, _he repeated, shaking his head in mute annoyance. _You should have made someone come with you, at least wait on the outside just in case. That was incredibly irresponsible. _

I sighed, exasperated. This had been going on for a while. _Bella said- _

_What Bella did or didn't say doesn't matter in the least. That girl has been causing enough problems and sleepless nights as it is, for more than you. So please, Jacob, use your head. The doctor might be reliable, but you know as well as I do that the others may not be. _

I sighed, and gave up. I could tell that he meant it, but also that he mostly felt it was his duty to act this way. He knew I wasn't stupid, at least not very, and he knew I had better self-control than anyone else. He just needed to prove a point.

And also, he couldn't _quite_ make himself command me around. Don't hear me wrong, he did command me all the time, giving me patrols and routes and schedules as everyone else. But he didn't lecture, not much anyway. Not more than this. He just couldn't quite make himself. Because, as my wolfy days grew, I got better. Better at phasing, better at not phasing. At staying in control, at deciding. Better than the other guys. Better than Sam.

I knew this was because of the whole me being the rightful alpha thing, and I didn't like it. At all. I had no wish being like this in the first place, and to lead the whole bunch, being better, was not a particularly juicy bonus. I didn't want it, Sam could have it, fine by me.

Still, he couldn't quite force himself to lecture me.

Quil was out running too, down north alongside the coastline. I was running through the forest on my way over to Bella, feeling quite content that there was not even a hint of recent Douchiness around her house. It looked like Mister Marble had finally given up on the spying and sneaking or at least he was more subtle about it now. So all in all, the night was unusually and blissfully normal, almost as if it was too quiet to be true. I still couldn't get used to it.

_I know, _Quil added silently to my thoughts. _It's weird isn't it? I swear, yesterday I-_

He didn't get further than that, because the quiet night in mention was interrupted by a new and furious presence.

_Damn damn damn damn damn damn, _Leah chanted, an even flow of words and curses running through her head.

Oh.

_No no no stupid stupid stupid this wasn't supposed to stupid stupid no no no stupid-_

So she'd phased back after all. Obviously, not on purpose. Oh. Okay. I guess it hadn't been working out that easy for her after all then. For some reason, my heart sank down to the muddy, uncomfortable pit also called stomach.

_Leah? _Sam wondered, surprised and baffled and careful. He was always careful when it came down to Leah. So, so careful.

_-damn damn damn damn damn damn-_

_Jacob? _Sam prodded, getting concerned, realizing I knew something he didn't.

_-damn damn damn damn damn damn-_

It had been so sudden, the surprise to see her again, and I wasn't prepared. My brain felt like a see through sponge. No matter how used to I was having people inside my head all the time, no matter what resistance I should have been able to build by now – it didn't work. Maybe it should've, but then what was the point. Maybe it didn't matter.

And then hell went loose.

_What was that? _Sam started, as if prodding my sponge-brain with a pointing finger.

_-damn damn damn damn this wasn't supposed to- _

_Stop phasing? _Quil asked, confused. _Who's going to stop phasing?_

_Stop phasing? _Sam repeated, twisting the sponge between his hands, making all my thoughts pour out. _Leah?_

_-damn damn damn damn tried so hard-_

I felt a bit squashy.

_How long did this-?_

_How did you know?_

_Leah?_

_Jacob?_

_-damn damn damn damn-_

I did the only sensible thing. I phased back. My head hurt with everyone else's confusion, and the sooner I got the hell out of there the better. Heck, this wasn't even my problem, it didn't have anything to do with me at all. And my shift was over anyway.

I wasn't far from Bella's house, so I pulled on my cutoff sweats and started a light jog through the forest towards her house. At least the secret was out of the box now. While running I tried to shake off the slight and sudden disappointment in my stomach I'd gotten when Leah returned. Her plans to stop phasing hadn't worked. It had probably been naïve to think that it could be that easy. Still, I felt more uneasy about it than I should've. This shouldn't have concerned me at all. Right?

Slightly tense, still grumbling and cursing my own pointless disappointment, I reached the backyard of Bella's house. It was dark enough now that no one would see me around. I paused, looking up at her window. The light was still on, the window slightly open. I could hear her inside, sleeping steadily. Charlie was sleeping too, on the other side of the hallway.

During the last two days, I would have loved to say that Bella and I couldn't take our hands off each other. I'd love to be able to say that we were inseparable. Since what happened the other day, when finally we were alone, _alone, _and everything have been _wonderful – _at least until our dads came back and ruined it by nearly barging in on us naked (we were the naked ones, not our dads. _Yikes_) – Bella and I should've been inseparable. Unable to take our hands off each other, etc. But that wasn't exactly how things were. Actually, I hadn't seen her at all.

Bella was freaking out. She had finally seemed to realize she was _graduating. Graduating _equaled _exams. _Tests. Which meant that she had literally locked herself up in her room with her nose buried in a few hundreds tons of books. For two days straight, I hadn't seen her at all, not since that visit to the Cullens, which by the way wasn't my ideal idea of a date. I'd spoken to her twice on the phone, and both conversations had been short, sharp and on the edge of hyperventilating (on her part, obviously).

The days apart had given me time to finish her graduation present though – it was now unceremoniously wrapped up in a tiny knit bag laying on my nightside table. It was a charm I'd carved out using my dad's carving kit, shaped as a tiny wolf. It wasn't much, but it had taken some time to make it just right. The wood needed to be the right color, and it had taken a tedious trip to Port Angeles to get a silver chain that was just the right size. It was nothing fancy, but still I hoped she would like it.

Two days without her had reduced my life to old, dull and uneventful. I really needed to see her.

I sneaked up towards her window and looked up. It was open. I knew she had a test tomorrow, but the clock was past one and she was obviously done studying by now. I hesitated. She was sleeping, something which she really needed, but then I also wanted badly to see her. I decided trying to get up without waking her. I hoisted myself up in the tree easily, and climbed out on the branch as far as I could. When I was close enough, I jumped, just catching the side of the window and slid inside silently.

She was sleeping, but not in her bed like I expected. She was sitting by her desk, her cheek glued to a page of the book she obviously had been reading. She was adorably cute, and looked so exhausted I almost expected her to start drooling all over the page any minute. But how much I ever didn't want to wake her, that wasn't a place for a good night sleep.

Chuckling to myself, I silently went over to her before crouching down next to her and gently putting my hand on the small of her back.

Bella jolted up into a sitting position, eyes wide.

"What?" she asked, bewildered.

"Hey, honey," I told her, gaining her attention. "I think you fell asleep."

Her eyes found me, eventually, and she seemed to realize where she was.

"Oh no, I can't believe it," she groaned. "What time is it? I might still make it."

She started scrambling her books together in front of her, along with notes and pencils.

"It's in the middle of the night," I calmed her. "You haven't missed anything."

Her hands stilled. "Oh?" She cast a glance at the dark sky outside the open window. "Oh," she said again. Then she turned to look down at the brick of a book in her hands. It was a seriously heavy one with a great absence of photos. Bella looked panicked. "Okay," she said. And then she opened the book again, trying to find the right page.

"Hey," I said quietly, still aware that Charlie was in the next room. "What are you doing? You need to get some sleep."

She shook her head frantically, trying to search for the right page with one hand while rubbing her eye with the other. "I can't. I have to finish reading this by tomorrow. And then I need to read three summaries and go through all my notes and highlight the most important parts and then I need to memorize a ton of important dates and after that I need to write a summary for this one and now of course I had to fall asleep and I even dreamed that I had the test and then it went horrible and they hated it and I _failed_."

She was rambling, firing sentence after sentence without even taking a new breath. Her face was flushed with stress and exhaustion and she almost looked close to crying. Now she took a deep breath, still frantically searching for the right page with shaking hands. She finally found it, and drew another deep breath. She was just a little over half way.

"And also," she rambled on, almost as if she was unable to stop. "I still I haven't analyzed the part where-"

With firm hands I reached out and snatched the brick-book out from between her hands and put it back on the table. She stopped mid-sentence, looking at me with bewildered, tired eyes. I imagined that if I only as much as scowled at her, she would burst out crying. I got myself back up on my feet, leaned down to kiss the top of her head, before I scooped her up in one fluid movement and carried her over to the bed. I managed to awkwardly flip the cover aside with my foot before putting her down, and then I crawled in next to her and wrapped the bedspread over us both. I sneaked one arm under her head, the other around her waist. Bella was still looking at me with bewildered eyes, as if she hadn't yet realized what I had done.

"No," I said with feeling, emphasizing the word.

"But-"

"No."

"But I-"

"No."

She looked at me. And she looked at me some more. Her eyelids dropped a few millimeters.

"Sleep," I ordered her. "Now."

As if my words had been a spell, she did. Her eyelids dropped completely the second she gave in. In less than thirty seconds, she was sleeping steadily beside me, her head resting on my arm and her exhales even against my neck.

I lay awake for a few minutes, wondering if maybe I had magical skills. This needed to be tested out later. I fell asleep after a while though, listening to the even heartbeats by the girl resting beside me.

Next morning, Bella completely freaked out. Again.

"I can't believe you did that," she hissed at me, keeping her voice down so Charlie wouldn't hear from downstairs. She was standing in front of her wardrobe, wearing only a t-shirt and underwear. The prospect itself would have been brain-stealing, had it not been that she also was jumping around on one sock clad foot trying to get the other sock on with one hand, while holding the brick-book in the other hand trying to read at the same time. It didn't look like a great combination. "I had _tons _to do last night, and there's _no way _I'm going to make it now because I haven't done _anything._"

She seemed to finally realize what she was trying wouldn't work, and I was glad when she threw the book down on the bed and slumped down beside me while focusing on her sock. This way she wouldn't fall and bang her head into the desk or something.

Time for some magic.

"Relax," I told her while rubbing her back gently, waiting excitedly to see if the magic from last night was still working.

She only scowled at me. Apparently it wasn't.

"Bells," I said, more seriously. "You'd do even worse if you fell asleep during the test. Besides, you _know _all that stuff by heart. Just throw in a few comparisons to today's society and mention a philosopher or two, and you'll do fine. Works every time."

She only scowled at me again, and did obviously not appreciate the advice.

* * *

The days started to rush past again. I didn't even have time to think about how ironic it all was. Victoria was caught, the other seven leech issues were almost taken care of, and in theory I had more spare time than ever, even though fewer patrols got lost against more school work. Bella on the other hand had absolutely no spare time, only graduation looming.

My school ended before hers, but that didn't mean I could spend any more time with her, oh no. The only times I saw her, she was asleep or trying very hard not to, which mostly ended in sleeping anyway. Mostly she was exhausted and tired and couldn't wait to get this all over with. She fretted a little about all her tests going horrible and rambled on about failing, no matter how many times I told her she would do just fine (it would turn out later she had to swallow her words when her test results showed up, she got her As and Bs, and she couldn't stop smiling no matter how much I teased her about it).

Cullen was no longer looming over her shoulder every other second as if waiting to ambush her. Actually I hadn't seen as much as the tip of his fangs for more days than I had remembered to count. If I didn't know better, I'd almost think the whole bunch had left already. I did know better though, and it still reeked for miles in the forest and around their house. Edward hadn't been over at Bella's house either, in which I took great comfort, though I was pretty sure he was looming over her shoulder at school when I wasn't around to see it. He was probably hoping for her to have a nervous breakdown and change her mind and beg him to stay. Hopefully she was too tired and consumed in exams to notice him. At least_ I _dearly hoped so.

The day before her graduation, I was strolling through the forest towards the garage. I was just done with my last patrol, and had great plans to get home and heat up some leftovers from yesterday. There was going to be a bonfire down at the beach tonight, a tradition at the beginning of every summer, and both Charlie and Bella would be there. I still hadn't phased back, and was amused while listening to Leah and Quil bickering about some random joke that Leah didn't think was funny.

_You just don't get it,_ Quil insisted. _You see, I said the guy didn't_ _go there, but because he said he did-_

_I get it, moron,_ Leah rolled her eyes. _It's just not funny. _

_But it is, it had been if you'd just gotten it right-_

_Not funny. _

_But-_

_Not funny. I'm bored. _

_It is funny, you're just being lame. It's because he said he did, and that means-_

_Bored._

Leah's plans to stop phasing was still very much in action. She was practicing not to phase unless she decided to, and she was so determined she didn't bother that it hadn't really worked yet. Sam hadn't been very pleased at first; mostly he'd been convinced that it was impossible at such a young age. Leah didn't waver an inch though, and Sam had finally surrendered. It wasn't like he could refuse her anything. I was being mercifully kept out of it, though I had an impression Sam wasn't very pleased with me at the moment, probably for keeping this from him in the first place. He'd get over it.

I was distracted when I heard the faint rumbling of a car nearby, and thoughts of Sam, phasing and leftover lasagna was for a moment erased from my mind. I looked up at the sun, still high on the sky. Already? Well, I wasn't one to complain. I sped up the few remaining meters towards the edge of the forest, and true enough, Bella's truck was there, rumbling towards the garage. I watched as she choked the engine and fumbled with the keys. She looked tired but content, relieved of finally be done with all obligations for now. I phased as she got herself out of her truck.

"Hey Bells!" I called out to her from the forest edge, and she looked up.

I was so happy to see her I could scream. It wasn't only seeing her really, it was more the knowledge that she could start seeing me too. Finally she was done with school. She was off and we could hang out again. I'd gotten so used to having her around all the time, that one week apart made me feel like some heartsick puppy - which I probably was too. To have her back in my (currently pretty boring) everyday life was something I'd longed for in what seemed like forever.

As she saw me her face broke into a grin, as if she was thinking just the same thing. She laughed a little to herself and started running towards me. I waited, and lifted her up in a bone crunching hug. She laughed against my neck and wiggled her feet which I'd lifted off the ground.

"Hi there," she whispered.

She pulled back slightly only to press her lips to mine, and I could feel her smile against my lips as she did. Her heartbeats were thundering in her chest, the sound mingling with my own, and the world started twirling. I could feel her hair fan over my face along with her scent and my brain went from solid to complete mush. Man, I missed her.

When I put her back down she only grinned up at me, before her gaze started to wander downwards as if she just realized I was still naked.

I quirked an eyebrow at her, which she noticed.

"You are so dense," she mumbled, reaching up to kiss me again.

"Good to see you too," I mumbled against her lips, tightening my grip around her waist.

She turned her head slightly. "You're naked," she stated. "Hugging you is kind of weird."

I chuckled into her hair. "If you think it's weird, we could always do something else-"

She snorted halfheartedly and stroked her fingertips down my back. "Come on," she smiled. "Charlie'll be here soon." She pulled away, until only our hands were linked together, and started dragging me back towards the house.

I followed her, my hand still in hers, while I awkwardly tried to pull on my sweats with the other.

"Finally free?" I asked her when all clothes were in their right place. I nudged her heavy school bag, hanging over her shoulder.

"Yep," she grinned at me. "Only tomorrow left."

Tomorrow meant graduation.

"Nervous?" I asked.

"Not very," she said as we reached the porch. "Mostly it's just weird. I'm _graduating_, you know. Weird."

"I know," I said. "You're like freakishly old."

She pinched my arm at that.

It didn't take long until Charlie showed up, and he and dad drove off towards the bonfire soon after. Bella and I left too, walking hand in hand along the beach. We went slowly, taking our time and in no rush to get there. We talked about colleges and about next year, and she told me she was planning to take a year at the community college until she managed to save up money for university. We laughed and joked and talked nonsense and all in all I didn't think life could get much better. We made out and groped a little along the way too, but the way was unfortunately much shorter than I liked.

Far too soon we reached the bonfire, which was already crowded. These bonfires were tradition; the first weeks of summer were always celebrated by a bonfire. Almost everyone was already there. People seemed more relaxed and excited now than in a long time, maybe because there was no need to be on guard anymore, at least not tonight. The redhead was no longer around.

"Here comes the hero!" Quil cheered, raising his soda when we reached the camp site. People around laughed and smiled – he'd bee doing this every time I'd seen him every day for the past two weeks, since the whole thing with Victoria.

"Shut up," I said, aiming a smack at his head but just missing. He'd been good at dodging lately. It came with the practice, I'm sure.

Bella smiled up at me. "You could do with some praise," she said. I looked down at her, and couldn't help but smile back.

"Ah, look he's blushing!" Quil cheered. "Come here, sugar munchkin-"

I managed to hit him this time.

Bella and I joined the others, and the next hours passed quickly. We ate an inappropriate amount of blackened hotdogs around the fire, consumed an even scarier amount of soda, and watched as Embry, Quil, Jared and Seth got caught up in a competition about who was best stuffing marshmallows into their mouths.

Bella impressed everyone when she casually stuffed in at least as many as Embry, which caused her to blush immensely when they started making cracks about the advantage of having a big mouth. She started throwing marshmallows at me when she realized I was laughing way too much at her expense, resulting that she would take one year from my fictional age whenever I didn't manage to catch it with my mouth (I swear she was throwing poorly on purpose).

By the time I was twelve and Bella forty-three, she moved over to sit in my lap. Leah showed up after a while too, sitting down cross-legged next to us, letting me know that it wasn't polite of minors to molest those who are older. I told her to shut up, and Bella told me to mind my tongue and Leah laughed and asked when the wedding had been, she must have missed it, as we were acting like a long time married couple.

We chatted a bit with Charlie and dad too, who were happily perched in a corner next to some of the elders. They were nursing their cases of beer and sniggering uncharacteristically. Their grins and laughter got wider and louder as the content of their bottles emptied, and Charlie was getting unusually sentimental.

"She's a good kid, Bella," Charlie told Billy solemnly, even though we were sitting right there. "She's graduating now. But she will always be my little girl." He turned to Bella. Her expression was amused, her face slightly red.

"Aren't you, kiddo?" Charlie continued. "And you're a good kid too, Jacob." He nodded approvingly at me, slightly cross eyes. Then he turned back to Billy, who was only sniggering silently. "He's a good kid, that one, Billy. Good kiddos."

We decided it was about time to leave the old men alone when they started humming tunelessly, rocking from one side to the other to the rhythmless tune, sometimes barking out a laugh or giving a loud cheer.

Bella grabbed my hand, and I was more than happy to sneak away with her. It was summer, it was vacation, and soon, soon I would be able to have her all to myself. Just a year ago, this would have been unreal. I guess it still was, in a way.

As we walked across the yard towards the darkness of the beach, I couldn't help but notice the looks from a few of the older members of the council. They were all there, a group perched by the side of the fire, and I couldn't help but notice the slightly hostile looks some of them sent us as we passed. I didn't really think it over at first, only nodded and smiled as I caught the eye of a few of them. After walking past them though, I glanced over my shoulder, puzzled, and realized they were still looking at us. Their glances moved from me to Bella and back, frowning. They didn't look pleased. When they saw I'd noticed, they only turned their attention back to their conversation.

It didn't make sense. I thought about what it could mean, but didn't understand. I tried to shrug it off. Maybe I'd imagined it. Maybe they'd had too much to drink too.

Bella huddled closer to me, and I wrapped my arm around her to keep her from getting cold. The weather was getting warmer and it was still light out, but under the shadows of the trees away from the warming fire it could get a little chilly. We walked all the way down to the water, before she spoke.

"Do you want to pretend you are going to a graduation party with me tomorrow?" Bella said, taking my mind off the old men. She leaned her head on my chest and peeked up at me.

I looked down at her, a little puzzled. "Pretend?"

"Yeah. We wont really be there; we'll just pretend we were." She smiled up at me, before untangling from my arms and dragging me along to sit down on a dry driftwood. I followed her, and she huddled close again the moment we sat down. My arms automatically wrapped around her again.

"Uhm. Sure," I frowned, trying to catch the logic. "You don't want to go there for real?"

"No. I don't like parties."

I shook my head, smiling. Why wasn't I surprised. "You're a bit weird, you know that right? Why can't you just say you wont come?"

She sighed. "Because I sort of said I'd go. And if I say no, everyone will just ask why, and I _should _want to be there, since it _is_ graduation and everything. I can't say I don't want to either. But I figured we could just go there, say hello, and then mysteriously disappear after ten minutes and just hang out like we normally do. Then I wont have to say no, and come up with a great excuse."

I nodded, considering her plan. "You want me to come with you?"

She looked up at me. "Yes. If you want to. Please."

I pursed my lips and pretended to think it over. Her eyes became slightly unsure.

"Will you be wearing the skirt?" I finally asked, and she rolled her eyes.

"What does that have to do with anything? Sure, I will."

"Then I'll come," I grinned, earning another light pinch in my arm. "Who's hosting?"

For a moment, I thought maybe this was some great idea the Cullens had come up with. _Surprise party. Yey. _

"Mike," she mumbled against my shoulder.

I snorted another laugh. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"So sneaking out it is then."

"Sneaking out sounds great."

We stayed on the driftwood for a little while, until Charlie came staggering along, saying it was about time to leave, and that it was a good thing that I had a license because he was nowhere near fit of driving anywhere, and he didn't want to lock himself up in the drunk tank.

* * *

_A.N: I swear, there will be a bunch of blackened hotdogs and sticky marshmallows in your pm inbox if you leave a review. Maybe a spoiler or two also, but hey, that's not the point._

_And then there's soda by the table to the right, and beer on your left for those of you old enough for that, and then there's fruit and chips in the corner ... _


	33. Graduation Party 101

_A.N. I'm taking a huge liberty and ignoring Quil imprinting on Claire. Why? I want to keep Quil as he is right now, and I think imprinting affects Quil's personality a lot - because of the age-difference, probably. So, I've decided to ignore it for now. Lets just say Claire got sick that day she was going to Emilies' and they haven't meet yet. Or something._

* * *

**Graduation Party 101**

* * *

"_Who's hosting?"_

_For a moment, I thought maybe this was some great idea the Cullens had come up with. Surprise party. Yey. _

"_Mike," she mumbled against my shoulder. _

_I snorted another laugh. "Oh."  
"Yeah."_

"_So sneaking out it is then."_

"_Sneaking out sounds great."_

* * *

"Now," said Charlie, pointing his finger at me. "I'm going to be at work tonight, and if I hear one thing-"

"Relax dad," Bella huffed. "We'll be fine."

"I've heard some of these graduation parties can get pretty wild," he said seriously. "And I don't want any of you involved in any mess like that, do you hear me?"

"No problem," I said truthfully, while Bella only moaned.  
"Come on," she said, nudging my shoulder for the hundredth time and looking exasperated. "Let's get this over with."

Charlie looked at her, a smile twitching in the corner of his lips. He seemed to be amused that she was no more fond of parties than he was.

"Don't be home too late. And no drinking and driving," he told me sternly.

"Of course," I managed to say just as Bella clearly lost her patience, grabbed a few fists of my hair and started dragging me out of their bright yellow kitchen.

I could have ignored her easily, but I let her. It was kind of cute actually. Charlie called goodbye after us, chuckling to himself as he did.

"You're eager, huh?" I grinned at Bella as she let go of my hair and started dragging me towards the truck by my hand. "If I didn't know better I'd almost think you _wanted _to go."

Bella huffed as we reached the car. "No," she said. "It's not that. It's _you _I don't trust."

She got into the truck, and I followed, puzzled.

"Me?"

"I'll never leave you to talk to Charlie alone again," she said. "Suddenly you'll just start telling him 'not to worry, we'll be safe, Bella's on the pill, you sleep in my room, we have awesome sex.'"

By this part I was already laughing silently, watching her as she shook her head in mock resignation. So _that _was what she was so worried about.

"Can't trust what you're going to say," she finished, shaking her head again.

I only laughed as she turned the key, and grabbed her hand in mine as we rolled out of the driveway.

It was Saturday, and Bella was finally free. Both dad and I had been at her school today, standing with Charlie to watch as she got her diploma. After the ceremony she'd all but ran over to me, hugging me in front of everyone. She'd hugged both our dads too, and I couldn't help but notice Charlie still being that strangely emotional, blinking and patting her shoulder a lot.

Family Fang had been there too. The Psychic and the Douche were both graduating, getting their applause and their diploma like everyone else. I'd sent them a polite nod as I passed them, towards doctor Fang mostly, which he'd returned with a smile.

I'd expected them to hover around Bella like a second family, and was surprised when they didn't. I suspected this to be because of Charlie, who was looking nothing less than murderous when Bella had gone to greet them. In truth Charlie _had_ offered his hello and congratulations to the proud parents before the ceremony, though perhaps a little stiffly.

So, we'd stayed put while Bella had gone to greet the Douche and his family herself. They had all hugged and smiled and talked, Edward flapping around her like an overgrown, yellow bat. The psychic was there too, and I imagined them flapping the wings of their graduation gowns, hooting. Charlie was fisting the handed out program in his hand, while dad had patted his shoulder and asked how Sue was doing. Bella reappeared after a while, leaving the graduation-bats and their family to themselves.

In a stolen moment of privacy I'd given her the graduation present I'd made. She said she loved it, and had smiled so widely it made my heart soar. She had put it on immediately, and I noticed she had been fidgeting a little with the charm throughout the day, twirling it lovingly around her finger.

Now she was sitting in the car beside me, wearing the bracelet but also - much more importantly - a leg-showing, much anticipated and very insulting red skirt. She was looking illegally hot. I told her this, as I had all day, and she blushed. Again.

"You need to clear you head if we're going to survive this," she told me solemnly, a little smirk hiding in her face.

"Survive this?" I repeated.

"Yes. We need to discuss our plan."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "What plan?"

"The how-to-survive-graduationparty plan. First; whatever happens, we stick together. Do not under any circumstances leave me alone."

I sniggered. "Do you do this every time you're going to a party?"

"Second," she said, ignoring me. "We need to get some witnesses to prove we were there. Find someone familiar, talk to them. Make someone take a picture of us. Pictures are exhibit A."

I chuckled. "Nice thinking. Charlie would be proud."

"And three," she continued. "We need to sneak out without anyone seeing us. We don't want eyewitnesses when we do that."

"Sure. Do you have a plan B?" I wondered, halfway expecting her to say yes.

"No," she said. "So you should stick to this one."

We reached Mike's house soon enough, since it wasn't that far from where Bella lived. There were several cars parked along the street, but finding a spot for the truck was easy enough. We got out, and Bella grabbed my hand and led me towards what obviously was Mike's house. It wasn't difficult to point out; a heavy bass was bellowing from speakers inside making the walls shake, there was a loud buzz of voices, and according to the sight that met us on the other side of the windows, it was pretty much crammed.

"Okay," Bella said, taking a deep breath as we reached the front porch. "Remember the plan?"

"Chill Bells, we're not going to commit a crime," I smiled, and leaned down to kiss her briefly before opening the door as we stepped inside.

The room was noisy and stuffed, and it smelled of a variety of drinks and food. I was taller than most, so getting a view of the room wasn't very difficult. People were drinking and chatting and dancing, some were running around, some were cramming their way through the crowd. The hopping, massive heap of people in the middle were moving to the music, bellowing out of several speakers. People had to yell and scream over the loud music to hear each other in the dimly lit room. Seemed like just about any normal high school home party to me.

A bowl of some chips waltzed by. I grabbed a handful, ate some, and looked down at Bella beside me, who was being unusually quiet.

She looked like she'd just walked straight into hell.

I couldn't help but snicker a little at her expression.

She sent me a horrified look. "Forget the plan. Let's leave."

Plan B, obviously, turned out to be _flee._

I shrugged and chuckled. "If you want."

"I do- Oh, hi Mike."

I turned around, only to see Newton squeeze his way towards us. He was looking extremely pleased with himself.

"Hey! Bella's here!" he yelled. I don't even think he noticed me. "It's cool, huh?" he asked her, waving at the surroundings.

"It's great," she lied.

"Come, I'll get you something to drink," he bellowed, grabbing hold of her elbow and ignoring her weak protests. "I need to show you around. Look, over here is the kitchen, that's where the-"

The rest of his sentence got drowned in someone laughing loudly nearby as he dragged her through the crowd by the hand. Bella only managed to send me an exasperated look before she was drawn away and disappeared out of sight. I was standing alone in a hopping crowd of squealing graduates feeling a little out of place. Huh. Okay._ Plan? Burn. Mission? Fail._ I stretched my neck, trying to get a glimpse of her, but was nearly knocked out of balance by a particularly giggly bunch of girls.

"Sorry!" they squealed, before they disappeared back out on the dance floor, giggling even more.

Somehow I managed to cram my way over to the other side of the room. A few trays of food danced by, and I grabbed a little of this and a little of that – it was a whole hour since dinner after all. The front door opened and closed a few times, new people pouring in like steams of fish, making the place more and more crammed. I was just wondering if it would come to a point when we'd all be stuck in here, when, to my great surprise, I bumped straight into Quil.

"Jacob," he exclaimed, just as puzzled as me. "What are you doing here?"

"Bella," I explained briefly. "But why are you here?"

He didn't answer, and only then did I notice he was towing a girl hand in hand. She was way shorter than him, and I realized why I hadn't seen him at first. He had lipstick on his face. The girl giggled.

"Great party, huh?" he yelled, looking around, pretending not to have heard my question. "Say hi to Bella from me, will you?"

"Sure," I said, shaking my head slightly as he and the girl disappeared back into the crowd. I didn't even know why I was surprised in the first place. A whole house full of happy, dancing senior girls? Or course Quil would be here.

I continued on my search, barely avoiding someone spilling soda all over my jeans as I pressed my way further into the house. There were people everywhere, and moving around was a real challenge. I was just craning my neck to see if I could catch a glimpse of Bella somewhere around the kitchen, when I bumped straight into someone else. I recognized her from Bella's class.

"Oh, hi Jacob," she beamed. " I didn't know you were coming!"

"Well yeah, hi," I said, trying to remember if Bella had ever told me her name. She seemed to understand though, and spared me the trouble by reaching out her hand.

"I'm Angela," she smiled, and I shook it. "Where's Bella?"

"Uhm," I said, while trying to avoid being squashed between ten people just about to squeeze through the doorway beside me. "I don't know actually. She sort of-" (here both Angela and I had to duck, as someone decided to start throwing fists of popcorn over our heads) "-slipped away."

Angela laughed as we straightened up, brushing popcorn out of her hair. "You don't say," she said, clearly understanding the problem. "Good luck finding her again."

A bunch of people bumped into us then, obviously someone she knew as they began talking. I turned and roamed the room with my eyes again, intent to continue on mission Finding Bella. Still no sign of her. I turned back as Angela started introducing me to her friends though, and was forced to settle on hoping Bella would pop up on her own.

As it turned out, standing still and waiting in one place seemed to be the trick. After another good ten minutes or so Bella finally showed up, still with Newton swarming around her like a particularly exited bug. I looked up, and there she was, already staring at me a few meters away.

"Bells!" I grinned at her, interrupting the brown haired girl in front of me telling me about the time she was skydiving from where-ever-it-was. "You disappeared!"

She seemed like frozen to the spot for about a second before she was able to respond. Her eyes lingered on my face, a feeling there I couldn't place.

"Yeah," she finally mumbled, only for me to hear, and walked over to stand beside me. She smiled and waved at Angela, before turning and muttering in the direction of my shoulder. "You've got popcorn in your hair."

After staying a few more minutes talking to her friends, people started to move around again. Bella managed to wiggle away, and, while she tried her best to look unsuspicious but not managing, we were finally able to sneak outside. Bella exhaled loudly when we reached he front steps and closed the door behind us. I took a deep breath of fresh air, and felt my ears relax a bit when entering the quietness that was outside.

I reached for her hand as we started walking towards her truck. "Where to?" I asked her, smiling down at her walking beside me.

Bella didn't reply immediately. She let me take her hand, but didn't return my smile. When she finally replied, she still didn't look at me at all.

"You decide," she mumbled.

I frowned for a second, before stopping. Her hand in mine made her stop to, just in the middle of the street. She still didn't look at me.

"Bells?"

She looked over at the truck, as if impatient. "Yeah?"

There was a brief silence. The muted thumping from the house behind us seemed suddenly very loud.

"What's wrong?" I asked quietly.

"Nothing."

_Yeah, right_. I only looked at her, going over in my head what reason she could have to be mad at me now. After another little silence, she sighed and turned to look at me, finally. She looked troubled and unhappy.

"No, I mean it," she said, more honestly this time. "It's nothing. It's stupid."

I nudged her hand. "Come on. Tell me."

"No."

"C'mon."

"No."

"Bells."

"I don't want to."

"Did I do something?"

"No."

"Did someone else do something? Did Mike say-"

"It's not about Mike, it's about you."

She said it quietly, but it felt like she'd snapped the words.

"What about me?" I frowned.

"Just, when I saw you. When I found you. And saw you there. Standing with those people." She paused. "Talking to that girl."

I felt my frown deepen. This wasn't like her.

"You seriously can't freak out just by me talking to a girl," I said.

"No, I don't," she insisted. "Really, I don't. It's just- It got me thinking."

"How?"

"I just... For a second there I thought that... That you'd- What would happen if you-" She seemed to be struggling for words.

"If I ate popcorn while talking to your friends?" I finished for her, raising my eyebrows.

"No."

"Then what?"

She shook her head and nudged my arm, sending me a unconvincing smile.

"Nothing, come on. I want to get going. Someone might still see us. We haven't left the scene of the crime yet."

She smiled at her own weak joke, and then she dragged me over to the truck and got in. I followed, a little reluctantly. I got in beside her, and then as I watched her buckle her seatbelt it suddenly all clicked into place.

"You're talking about imprinting, aren't you?"

Her silence told me everything her words didn't. Her hands started fumbling for the key.

"You wonder what if I'd just suddenly – like, back in there-"

More silence to confirm my suspicion. More fidgeting with the key. My heart sank.

"Bells-" I started, shaking my head.

"I don't want to talk about it," she snapped.

"But why-"

"I know it's stupid and I know this has nothing to do with that. I don't want to talk about it. Not tonight. Okay?"

Her voice was surprisingly clear and firm. I'd almost gotten used to her mutterings by now. But I didn't want to pick a fight with her either, specially not about this.

"Fine," I said.

We sat in silence as the truck rumbled down the otherwise so silent neighborhood. I peeked over at her. She looked a little glum.

"What were you doing, anyway?" I asked her, keeping my voice light trying to brighten her mood. "I was almost afraid Mike was going to take you hostage."

"He insisted on showing me around," Bella muttered, looking out the window. "And finding me something to drink, but he didn't find any, and then I had to listen to a friend of him talking about some video game I've never heard of for like twenty minutes. That's the reason right there why I don't like parties."

"You were only gone for about ten," I reminded her, fighting to keep a straight face. She only grumbled a little.

"Did you see Quil?" she asked suddenly.

I chuckled. "Yeah, I bumped into him."

"He was making out with some girl next to the refrigerator."

"I'm not surprised."

I peeked at her again, and Bella sent me a quick look. She was almost smiling, as if fighting a smile too. The mood brightened considerably, and I was glad she'd seemed to have taken her mind of less pleasant subjects.

"You know, Rachel is coming home on Tuesday," I suddenly remembered. "She's coming home for summer vacation."

"She is? Wow, I haven't seen her in ages."

"Yeah, I know. She'll be really surprised to see you again, I bet." Rachel had been home on vacation several times, but that was before Bella and I started hanging out. "Dad's planning a welcome-home dinner thing. You'll come and meet her, right?"

"Of course," Bella said immediately, as if that was the stupidest question she'd ever heard. I smiled. "She probably wont even recognize me at all," she laughed.

I grinned at her. "Of course she will. You're still you."

We reached her house then, and Bella parked the truck in the driveway. I noticed Charlie's cruiser wasn't here yet; the windows were dark.

"Charlie's still at work?" I asked.

"Yeah," Bella said, peering out the window. "He's working the night shift." She unlocked her seatbelt and opened the door. "You coming?"

She didn't have to ask twice. I got out after her and followed her up to the house, and she unlocked the door. We went inside, and Bella flipped the light on.

"What do you want to do?" she asked, shrugging out of her jacket and disappearing into the kitchen.

"Erm. I dunno. We could watch a movie or something. You decide."

As long as Bella wasn't grumpy, I was up for anything.

"Sure sure," she said from inside the kitchen. "I think we have some popcorn somewhere."

I flipped off my shoes and was about to follow her in, when she suddenly reappeared and we bumped into each other in the kitchen doorway.

"Ouch," she laughed and peered up at me while clutching her forehead. "That's gonna leave a bruise."

I only grinned down at her, sneaking my arms around her waist to keep her there.

"You're a wuss," I stated, and she pinched my arm.

Resisting the urge to make a comment about her weak attempt at pinching, I leaned down and kissed her instead. She sighed deeply, happily, and my heart forgot a few beats. If there had been disagreement and distress between us before, it was long forgotten. Whatever it was, this wasn't the time to deal with it. We would sort it out, somehow, one way or another.

I felt her hands reach up around my neck and drag me down to her. Her heartbeats were running high, and we started fumbling our way back into the hallway. Her lips against mine were eager, hungry, and she peppered me with slow, open-mouthed kisses until my head began to squirm. She laughed out loud when I made a guffawing sound as my back tumbled into the wall.

"Wuss," she told me, sniggering, ignoring my eye roll as her lips went back to mine again.

We stumbled up the narrow staircase, or tried at least. Our lips never broke apart, except for the time she actually stumbled, and I had to catch her witch made me stumble as well. It was a miracle none of us fell down and got knocked out from the fall. She couldn't stop laughing though, which only made her more perfect. Stumbling blindly upwards, kissing, laughing, and accidentally slamming my head painfully into the wall a few times, (Man, that hurt. Seriously.) we somehow managed to get upstairs.

The movie was completely forgotten.

My shirt was off by the time we'd reached her room, slung somewhere in a corner - I really didn't check twice. She pushed me around, lips eager against mine, hands on my chest towards her bed. The back of my knees reached her mattress and I fell backwards into it with her landing on top of me. The bed was shorter than anticipated though, making my head hang over the edge which only made her laugh harder. I grinned up at her and pulled her down to me, nearly making her tumble over, and kissed her happily.

The blanket and pillows were already scattered and tangled around our legs, but thankfully this was no obstacle in removing her blouse. The skirt was another story though, but then again not very difficult – it was a skirt after all. We fumbled around in her tiny bed, seriously trying to get me to fit, but it was hopeless. My feet were too long and her bed was too narrow and my feet were wrapped up in her blanket not really making it easier to move.

Her laughter, for a moment subdued by raging breaths and ravaging kisses, came back full force when I miscalculated the size of her bed – again – and as a result ended up tumbling on the floor with a great thud while feeling a bit like the Big Friendly Giant. She flopped over on her stomach, grinning down at me from the bed as I gazed up at her.

"Something is seriously wrong with the proportions in this house," I told her, making her laughter blurt out again.

I was able to drag her down to the floor with me, where she landed on my chest with a slight snigger. Then I lazily dragged the blanket and pillow down too, making the pile of books beside us tip over with a disturbingly loud noise. But I barely heard, because she was kissing me again, and my brain was shrinking at rapid speed and everything was wonderful.

"The floor is fine," she mumbled against my lips, before ghosting her lips over my jaw and ear. I couldn't agree more. The floor was more than fine. I caught her lips in mine again as I dragged the blanket over us both, before moving my attention to dispose of a certain skirt.

* * *

_A.N: Thanks to JJ Twi1ight and kallmecrazy who beta'ed, again sitting inside on hot summer nights just to help me out with this. And another thanks to everyone who reviewed. Graduation presents and red skirts to you all!_

_As my internet is playing hide and seek with me at the moment, I don't exactly know when I'll be able to give you spoilers, but know that I haven't forgotten about you! There will be spoilers, so if you want one (or two, maybe three, four …) just leave a review, and I'll see what I can do :) *hum and look innocently up at ceiling*_


	34. The Douche List

_A.N: *Peeks out from behind sofa* (actually, I don't have a sofa, but you're not supposed to know that. Details, details*_

_I'm so sorry about the delay in posting, but life is cruel and my internet is lousy. Hopefully both will sort themselves out soon. This story is all under control though, thank god, so don't worry about that :)_

_We left our two main characters at Resident Swan, after attending Bella's graduation party:_

* * *

**The Douche List**

* * *

When I'd left later that night, there was no evidence that there had been either stumbling nor fumbling up in Bella's room. The books beside her bed were neatly piled like always just as her pile of clothes on the chair, and all her pillows were resting on the bedspread like they should be. Bella herself was snoozing lightly in her bed, wrapped up in her blanket.

"Don't go," she mumbled lazily at me, barely aware of what she was saying. Her alarm clock showed that it was already well past midnight. She was tired, and she was naked.

We hadn't gotten any sleep at all.

One evening alone with Bella, and all my previous goals had flown out the window. It was like if this was my new dedication in life. One night alone with Bella and no interruptions such as pop-up dads or white Douches. We'd tested a few things that definitely needed to be tested, some of them more fumbling than others, but we were definitely getting the hang of it. I was pretty sure we'd invented a few new ones too.

I leaned over her and kissed her for what must have been the five billionth time. It still wasn't enough. She kissed me back lazily. When I pulled back, she kept her eyes closed, snoozing off again. I couldn't stop grinning. She was flushed and sweaty and messy and I loved it.

I kissed her for the five-billion-and-one-th time, unable to tear myself away, before getting up on my feet. I slipped out of the window and into the quiet night, feeling the happiest grin plastered on my face. Lucky it was dark out so the neighbors wouldn't be suspicious about my enormous grin. I phased when I reached the forest, wordlessly joining Seth and Embry who were out running too. Quil wasn't here, I noticed. Not Leah either.

_Had a good time?_ Embry wondered.

_Yeah, it was cool, _I smiled, a little too happily.

He didn't reply, only sniggered a little as we continued to run in silence.

A few kilometers into the forest though, I ran into a horrible stench.

_What the-? _I thought. I knew that smell. It was a bit too familliar for my liking.

I quickly turned to the left and followed it a few hundred meters. And then, as my mood was getting edgier, I ran straight into the Douche himself. Edward was walking around, absentmindedly staring at the ground. He didn't look up when I saw him, although he obviously must know I was there. Anger started to bubble up inside me by the sight of him. My previously spotless mood was rapidly getting stains.

_What the hell? _I thought sourly. _You better not be roaming around here waiting for a window to sneak into. And it's not nice to peek_, I added.

He looked up at me briefly, smiled a little forced and looked back down. He continued to stroll around, unaffected.

"Don't worry," he said without looking at me. "I'm not going to see Bella tonight. I swear. And I haven't been around to _peek_ either."

There was an unpleasant strain to his voice that I guess I could understand. Huh. I think I sort of believed him. I watched him for a moment, my anger slowly ebbing out.

_What are you doing here then? _I wondered, puzzled. I really couldn't come up with a good reason why he would roam around in the middle of the night. Unless...

"I'm not on hunting," he said, another humorless smile twisting his lips. "Of course not. I would never do that this close to civilization."

I read that to mean _this close to Bella. _He didn't correct me.

Edward walked further ahead into the forest, his hands deep in the pockets of his khakis. I followed, hesitant.

_Then what are you doing here? _I finally asked again.

"Can't I just be out taking a night time stroll?" he asked rhetorically.

I thought about that for a moment. Edward paused in his strolling, staring absentmindedly at the dead pine needles on the ground. He stood like that for what seemed like a whole minute. I was just debating with myself what to do, if I were to leave him alone or not, when he spoke up.

"We'll be leaving soon," he stated.

True, true. I hadn't forgotten. Last time this came up, they said they would leave after graduation. And graduation was yesterday, so...

_When? _I though.

"We will leave next weekend. It is Carlisle's last week at the hospital. It'll give him time to finish what he started and wrap things up. Make our last few arrangements. So until next Saturday, and then we'll leave."

So, the date was set. We stood in silence for a few moments. I wasn't sure wether I could feel content or not. I was relieved they were finally leaving, there was no point trying to hide that, but it was strange, watching Edward standing in front of me like this, staring at the dead pine needles as if I weren't there at all.

_Do you want me to tell Bella? She wants to meet you,_ I told him truthfully. I knew Bella would want to say goodbye. I couldn't help a knot from forming in my stomach when I said it though. I knew it shouldn't be there, but it was nonetheless.

Edward was silent for a few seconds, and he kept his eyes on the ground in front of him when he replied. "Yes please," he finally said. "Please tell her."

He started pacing again, and I didn't know if there was much more to be said. I got a feeling he mostly wanted to be alone, as he continued to stroll further ahead into the dark forest. Maybe he was just looking for someplace quiet to be uninterrupted in his own mind.

_Don't get lost, _I thought silently, a half hearted attempt at humor, before I turned and jogged back in the direction towards the reservation. It was probably best, leaving him to his own head without getting his thoughts poisoned by my presence.

I got back home, and checked to find dad asleep in his bed before getting into my own. It took some time before I fell asleep that night.

* * *

Next morning, dad was vigorous.

"Rachel called last night," he said brightly. "She's arriving early on Tuesday. She'll be staying the rest of the month."

"Umph," I provided, chewing my breakfast.

He was sitting opposite me on the kitchen table, shuffling through his paper with renewed strength. He was clearly excited. He was always excited when Rachel was coming home; she was so rarely home these days. She was coming home from Washington State, newly graduated and everything. I guess he was just glad to have one of his girls back; Rebecca hadn't been home since she moved to Hawaii. That was a non-subject around here.

"So that means we have to air out her room today!" dad continued eagerly. "Her room haven't been dusted or cleaned since the last time she was around, and it shows. You don't have any plans today, do you?"

_Please let me have plans please let me have plans please let me have plans. _

"Erm... No," I finally admitted, cursing my lack of make-excuse-quickly skill.

"Great! You can start by airing the bedspread then, and change the sheets. And the floor needs to get cleaned up. And the windows too. And you need to carry the spare matters out in the garage; it's taking up half the space. And then there are all the dust bunnies. Or dinosaurs, I'd say."

"Mhmm."

_Well, yeah dad, sorry, I've got plans with Bella today. It's important. Can't miss it. _Or, _I promised Sam I'd be out running. Can't say no. _Now they come. Dammit.

Dad only continued, sipping his coffee and completely ignoring my lack of dust-enthusiasm.

"We'll invite everyone over Tuesday night. Maybe barbeque in the backyard? I've already spoken with Charlie. And the Clearwaters too. Leah and Rachel used to be great friends before she went off to college, you know."

"Huh."

He took another sip of his coffee. "I didn't hear you come home last night," he stated, studying his sports.

"No. You were asleep."

"Had a good time?" he asked, turning a page.

"Yeah. It was okay." The graduation party had been okay. The after-party had been a bit more than okay, to put it like that, but dad wasn't asking about the after-party.

"It didn't get too wild?"

I sniggered. "You've been talking to Charlie, huh? It wasn't exactly a 80's rave, if that's what you mean."

Dad only smiled down in the paper, and didn't reply. He didn't ask more questions about last night either, for which I was grateful, and we sat in silence for a while. I was just finishing my third slice and starting on the fourth when the phone rang. I chewed and swallowed, reaching for it, but dad put his hand out to stop me.

"Just leave it," he said calmly.

I hesitated, my hand still outstretched towards the phone. "Why?"

"It's just some of the men in the council," dad explained calmly, his eyes on the paper. "They've been badgering me all morning."

The phone rang again. I frowned. "And you don't want to talk to them?"

"I already have," dad said calmly. "I have nothing more to say. They know that."

Slowly, I lowered my hand and sat back in my chair, leaving the phone to keep ringing.

"So, you had a fight or something?"

"Not a fight. Just...ah...a little disagreement."

I raised my eyebrows. That was a new one. I knew dad could be cranky and stubborn, and he and Charlie sometimes sulked and refused to talk together, but he'd never been like that with the members of the council.

"What are you disagreeing about?" I asked, puzzled.

I couldn't help but notice the way his eyes flashed to mine for the quarter of a second. "Nothing you need to worry about," he said, eyes back on his paper. "They are being unreasonable and I've told them so. They may call me all they want; I have nothing more to say on the matter."

"'They'?" I repeated. "You're not arguing with the whole bunch, are you?"

"Not the whole bunch," he replied calmly. "Just some of them."

I stared at him. For dad to pick a fight with the rest of the old men at the council was restricted to rare occasions. _The rest of the old men at the council._

"Hey wait, is that why they were sending me nasty looks at the bonfire?" I suddenly remembered. I'd noticed a few of the elders had been sending me disapproval looks, and they'd looked at me and Bella like we'd personally insulted them or something. I'd thought about it when it happened, but shrugged it off as nothing.

Dad hesitated. "It's ... related," he finally said.

"What do you mean, related?" I frowned. I refused to back down on the subject, no matter how hard dad was trying to close it. "Does this have anything to do with me?"

Dad sighed then, heavily and long. Finally he removed his eyes from the paper, and turned to look at me. "Yes," he admitted.

The kitchen went silent for a few moments as I approached this. "O-kay?" I said slowly, dragging my voice over the word. "Want to tell me about it?"

He looked back at the paper. "No."

"Dad!"

He sighed again, and looked up at me. "Can't you just leave it to me?"

"Of course I can't, come on! What's this all about?"

He sent me an exasperated look, but then surrendered. "Fine," he said. With a resolute look he put the paper down and turned to look at me completely. I raised my eyebrows at him, waiting for him to continue. He drew a deep breath before he finally spoke up. "Some of the members of the council – not all of them, just a few – are displeased with you and Bella being so public."

I stared at him. "What?"

He sighed deeply again. "They've expressed some reluctance that you two have been flagging your relationship in such an obvious manner. Some of them disapprove."

"We haven't been flagging anything!" I told him, getting angry.

"You took her to the bonfire," dad contradicted me. "They recon that as pretty public."

"So? Sam brought Emily to the bonfire," I argued back, raising my voice and glaring at dad. "Jared brought Kim. Paul was flagging pretty badly, making out with some girl all night. What's the difference?"

Dad looked a little glum. "The difference is, Bella is not Quileute."

I watched him warily, waiting to see if he was serious. He was.

"So? " I threw at him. "It's not like there's never been other people to those bonfires before. It's not like there's some great secret ritual or something. And besides, Bella knows everything already. I don't see the problem." I paused, still trying to get it. "You brought Charlie, he's not Quileute either."

"Yes," dad agreed. "The difference is, Charlie is not my wife or the mother of my children."

I stared, incredulous. "What? Bella's isn't the mother of-! What are you rambling about? I don't get it."

Dad leaned forward, looking me straight in the face.  
"The thing is, some of the elders don't approve of Ephraim Black's grandson and rightful alpha of he pack being in a public relationship with a girl that is not Native American. As you two obviously are getting older and more serious, they are worried you might consider marrying her one day."

I glared at him. He looked back steadily. I couldn't believe it. They had problems with Bella not being from the rez? This was a whole load bunch of bull. What little respect I'd had for the council this far had just flown out the window. I put down the sandwich I was eating. Suddenly I didn't feel hungry anymore.

"So what?" I threw at him. "So what if they think so? Why do we have to care? And why now? They know Bella have been with me for ages. Why didn't they say anything before now?"

"I turns out they didn't think it would last," dad said calmly, still meeting my gaze. "They were waiting for it to end."

_The nerve. _

"Is that why you didn't want to tell me about this?" I accused him, my voice getting louder for each word. "Are you also waiting for me and Bella to end it?" My voice was shaking slightly but I didn't care.

"I didn't want to tell you, because I believe their opinion to be complete bullshit," dad said calmly, still looking at me steadily. "So does Sam, of course, and since he is head of the council and I am second in charge, that is saying some. Those of that opinion are underrepresented, and they wont push it as long as my mind is set. And it is."

And with that, he picked up the paper and continued to read his sports. Some of the anger bubbling inside me faded slightly, and I felt a warmth of gratitude towards my dad that was hard to describe.

"By my opinion," he continued, his nose buried in a page. "You may parade with Bella down the highway if you want, and who you choose to marry is your choice and not mine, thank God. Though I'd appreciate if you'd wait a few decades or so, since marrying at 16 is out of the question in this house."

I looked over at him, and saw he was fighting a smile down in the newspaper.

He didn't continue, and it was pretty obvious this was now a closed subject. I was still trembling with anger, but didn't say anything else. I finished my breakfast and downed my glass of water before he spoke again.

"We'll leave to pick Rachel up on Tuesday morning. You can drive," dad said, turning another page.

"When is her bus arriving?" I asked, bringing my plate over to the sink.

"6 am in Port Angeles. If we get up around 4, we should have plenty of time."

_Oh, great. _

"The vacuum cleaner is in the closet," he reminded me.

"Mhmm."

Still angry at the whole bunch of stupid, narrow minded, lame, rude, insulting, ugly, old men that just had to stick their noses in things that weren't their business, I set about cleaning Rachel's room. Dad helped in his own way, throwing out reminders as I passed him and whipping me around the house like a bowl of cream. The phone kept ringing on even intervals, and I shot it nasty glares each time it did. I'd like nothing more than to pick it up and yell at it, but I didn't. Dad was ignoring it steadily too, and so we let it ring.

_I never knew it was possible to get that thick,_ I thought, slamming the mattress on Rachel's room so hard the whole room got bathed in dust. We were living in the 21th century, for crying out loud! I was pissed, pissed at the council and pissed at the world, but I knew there was nothing I could do to de-thicken their minds. My hands shook again. It would have been easier if I'd just phased. Phase, sprint a little, pick a fight with Paul, get it all out. Instead I slammed the vacuum cleaner around, attacking Rachel's room with it like if the room had personally offended me.

I didn't phase.

After two hours of obsessive vacuuming, dust chasing, loud swears and shrilling phone calls, Rachel's room was done and shiny. I jumped in the shower, slamming the door shut behind me. I was still fuming. _Damn those nose poking jerks. _My Douche-list had just grown immensely this morning.

When I got out of the shower, I heard a familliar rumbling from outside. I hurried to get dressed, mood still thundering, and got outside just as Bella opened the door to her truck.

"So you _are _home!" she exclaimed when she saw me. "What's up with you, I've been trying to call you all morning, but no one's been-" I only strode towards her, making her expression turn to confusion as she took in my brisk face. "Jake?"

I reached her, grabbed her hand, and dragged her along with me up towards the road.

"Come on, we're going to have sex in some council members' garden."

"_What?"_

"I just hope they're home."

"Jake! What's with you?"

"I'm pissed," I told her, quite unnecessary as she could very well see that already.

We didn't go to any of the council members' gardens, but instead we ended up on the beach. I'd dragged her along blindly, not really paying attention to where we were going, as long as we were going _somewhere, _ until I realized we were just a few meters from our own driftwood. Bella had finally given up trying to get me to explain anything, and was now only panting beside me as she had to run to keep up with my yanking. I loosened my grip on her hand slightly, and led her towards the white familiar driftwood before sitting down. She sat down beside me, staring at me with confused eyes.

"What's with you today?" she said again, completely out of breath. "What's wrong?"

I told her everything. Everything from the phone ringing repeatedly, to dad's suggestion to parade with her down the highway. When I finally stopped talking, I realized for the first time I was feeling a little calmer. Talking to her helped.

Bella studied my face. "So, what now?" she said quietly, clutching my hand between both of hers as if she was afraid it would suddenly disappear. I tightened my grip. "What can we do about it?"

"Nothing," I sighed. "But I don't care. This isn't our problem. It's theirs. Now I just want to rub it in their faces until they turn blue. Do you wanna marry me? That would make them pissed."

"No," Bella said bluntly. "I don't."

"Okay. Do you want to have sex in some garden, then?"

"No," she said again, a slight smile teasing in the corner of her lips. "I don't want that either."

I sighed heavily, but couldn't help the smile from spreading over my face as I looked at her.

"Yeah," I said. "I thought you might not want that."

"I could spray tan," she offered, smiling at her own lame joke. I rolled my eyes at her. That wasn't funny.

She reached up to kiss me then, for the first time today I realized. I put my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me.

"It will sort itself out, somehow," she whispered to me when she pulled back, as if trying to soothe my raging mood. It was weird, how _she_ now had to reassure _me_ things were going to be fine, when normally it was the other way around. Maybe she was right. But the pile of things that hopefully would sort themselves out was growing bigger and bigger by the minute, and I couldn't quite manage to put it out of my head.

"I ran into Edward last night," I told her as I remembered.

"You did?" she said. She looked worried. "How did it go? You didn't fight?"

"No, no. He wanted me to tell you they'll be leaving by the end of next week."

"Oh."

I studied her face, but she didn't look upset by the news.

"I'll call him," she said simply. "It will sort itself out somehow."

"Yeah," I sighed. "I guess."

I leaned down to kiss her again, and her hands left mine only to wrap around my neck instead.

We stayed on the driftwood for what seemed like hours. The sun was covered by thick, grey clouds, and from time to time a few drops of rain began trickling down on us. We didn't speak much, and when we did, we didn't mention the elders, or anything else unsure and unfair. I was glad. The rain made the beach vacant, so that I could be with her alone, undisturbed by families and other lovebirds.

"Cold," she mumbled into my ear after a while, huddling closer to me and burying her nose in my neck. I wrapped my arms tighter around her, and dragged her over so that she was sitting on my lap.

"By the way, you definitely have to take me to more graduation parties," I told her, making her laugh.

"I don't know. The party itself I probably could have lived without."

_Aha. Meaning she wouldn't want to live without what happened later, _a voice in my head whispered. The devil on my left shoulder gave me thumbs up.

"You have no idea how ego-boosting that is," I admitted, grinning down at her. Couldn't help it.

She pinched my arm at that, grinning back up at me. Next thing I knew she had moved her legs apart, resting them on each side of mine as she turned towards me. She leaned down to touch my lips with hers, and my brain died a little. The kiss began slow, but quickly escalated to be frenzied and clumsy. I listened to the racing of her heart, mingling with the strong tha-thump from mine. _Chill, heart. _Her lips started moving down my neck, up my jaw, and I pressed my fingers to her back. Her heart raced even more when my hands slipped under her shirt, moving up to her cotton-bra covered front. Her teeth grazed my earlobe, my brain died again, and I made an embarrassingly loud noise but didn't care.

The rain was picking up it's pace, and soon we would have to go back. I was glad though; the rain meant we could be here alone, if only just for a little while, and that was a good thing. Because if we hadn't been, alone I mean, I don't think I would've cared much. She was here, with me, and she would stay here with me all day, all summer. We had all the time in the world together, and no one would be able to prevent that, no matter how stupid or narrow minded.

* * *

_A.N: I'll try to quicker at spoiler-delivery this time, so please, let me know what you think. I have gotten myself a back up solution internet-wise, so this time it should be much easier :) :) :) *bribebribebribebribe...* No, seriously. Feedback is really appreciated. I have the best reviewers ever. _


	35. Spilled Secrets

_A.N: So. Where are we? There's elders, there's imprinting, there's vamps. And now, there's a sister..._

* * *

**Spilled Secrets**

* * *

Tuesday morning, I was seriously wondering why the hell I bothered going to bed the previous night at all. Dad woke me up so early it should have been illegal, so that we could pick up Rachel in Port Angeles. The drive took about an hour and a half, and she had been traveling by bus half the night to get there because it was cheaper. I grudgingly cursed the lack of airplane offerings and decent-time bus tickets to La Push.

When I fell asleep at the breakfast table for the second time, dad forced me to down two cups of his strongest brewed coffee before we went.

"We don't want you falling asleep while driving either," he said sternly.

Of course, as soon as we were on the road, dad snoozed off almost immediately, leaving me to drive alone and unaccompanied. _Nice. _

I'd been worried about Rach coming home. Don't hear me wrong, it would be nice seeing her again, but I was worried too. She didn't know. Anything. About the pack, about the werewolf-stuff, about me. I'd gotten so used to living alone with dad, jumping out my window in the middle of the night if I had patrols, talking loudly with dad about pack business over the dinner table. Exchanging wolf-related jokes with Bella, and then there was the whole naked thing. Not that I usually ripped my clothes anymore, that was rare, but it happened. Also sometimes, if I was only going home anyway, I didn't care bring any. And I was pretty sure Rachel wouldn't want seeing my junk on random intervals either.

So I would have to plan it. I would have to be careful with what I said, Bella would have to be careful, and dad, though it didn't seem to bother him at all. It would be like having an extremely nosy, overprotective, half psychic version of Charlie living across the hall. Potentially big problem.

We arrived in Port Angeles only a short time before Rachel did. When she did, she walked towards us carrying a large bag and looking just like she'd slept on a bus the entire night. She was way shorter than I remembered, and she nearly did a double take when she saw me.

"Who are you and what did you do to my brother?" she said, half serious, gazing up at me. "Last time I saw you you were like _this _tall!" She lifted her hand in the air to about the height of her shoulder.

"Nice to see you too," I grinned, as she dragged me down into a hug.

"Hi dad," she said, hugging him too. I grabbed her bag and shoved in into the backseat. "But seriously." She turned to me. "When did this happen? You're like the big bad wolf who ate the grandmother."

I bit my lip and turned my face away to try to prevent the rolling of my eyes. This was going to be a _long _month.

Rachel sat in the backseat as we drove back, questioning dad about the house, about his health and about me.

"So has Jacob failed any subjects yet?"

I snorted.

"Not that I know of," dad smiled.

"Thanks for the great confidence," I added.

"Has Jacob got himself a girlfriend yet, then?" she asked dad, ignoring me.

"Actually he has. About time you meet her."

Rachel actually startled in her seat. _Oh, come on._

"What?" she turned to stare at me. "You have?"

"You don't have to act so surprised," I muttered.

She turned back to dad. "So, who is she? Anyone I know?"

"Bella Swan," dad said calmly. "You remember her?"

Here Rachel literary gasped, and then there was a long, long tirade about Bella, the little girl she used to play with when we were kids, the girl who used to throw mud pies at me when she thought I was being particularly annoying (Bella had been a vicious mud-pie-thrower), and then Rachel finished off by smacking my head lazily.

"You've been keeping secrets from me, little brother!" she accused. And then she ruffled my hair, making me feel like I was two.

We arrived home in the morning, still early. Rachel went straight to bed, mumbling something vaguely about a bumpy bus ride and noisy women talking all night. Dad chuckled and went into the backyard with his coffee, leaving me alone in the living room. I looked around, feeling restless, my eyes scrutinizing the room as if looking for evidence. Just of anything unusual, anything not normal. I couldn't shake off this nasty feeling that somehow Rachel would _know, _would _see. Would find out. _But I shook it off, and turned to go back outside. It wasn't like I'd rubbed my fur all over the furniture either, or left my chewing toy out and about.

I phased, taking my now mercifully reduced morning shift along with Embry and Quil. When I told them about Rachel, Embry only scoffed at me of course; he thought I was being ridiculous. And I guess, in a way I was. _He _was living with his mother after all, who was blissfully unaware that her son changed into a hairy beast every other day. I'd bet I would have to get dressed properly from now on though.

I told them about dad's revelation about the council last night too, and they reacted by rolling their eyes.

_Honestly, I don't know why you care, _Embry dragged. _It's just a bunch of old men having nothing else to do with their time. _

_Yeah, _Quil agreed, before he started sniggering. _I'd like to see their faces if you'd actually had sex in one of their backyards though. That would've been priceless. It would have been the scandal of the year and you would be banned for life or something. Everyone would be so shocked and then deep down they would secretly love it and gossip about it for years and years._

The worst thing was he was probably right.

By the middle of the day, my shift was over and I phased back. Dad had asked me to go get some groceries for him at the store today, and my head was buzzing as I crossed the living room towards my room.

"Hey, where've you been?"

I froze. Oh, Sweet. Rach. I'd forgotten.

"Erm," I dragged, and turned to look at her. She was sitting by the kitchen table, eating late breakfast and looking at me curiously. _Thinkfastthinkfastthinkfast. "_Out."

"Really? I never guessed," she mocked, pointing at a leaf just falling from my shoulder and down on the floor. She looked at me, expectantly. Clearly that answer wasn't good enough. "Where are your clothes?"

I knew it. Good thing I was wearing cut offs. That was _something, _at least. She'd probably go all crazy if I'd just walked in in my birth suit.

"Just been...ah, hanging out with Embry and Quil," I said lightly. "We've been working on the car. T-shirt got greased."

"Oh," she smiled, and turned back to her lunch. This answer was clearly accepted. Phew. "I remember those guys. You three were always sneaking into my room whenever you thought I wouldn't notice. Good thing I've never kept a diary or you would have tried poking in that too."

"We did not poke in your room," I defended myself as I continued into the hallway to look for a t-shirt.

Okay, it might have happened once. Or twice. Truth was we'd sneaked into her room to borrow her freshly purchased _Titanic, _our only goal to observe the extreme importance of a much discussed car scene. Hey, we were ten.

Rachel only scoffed loudly from the kitchen as she clearly didn't believe _that_.

Later that day, dad sent me to the store with an extremely long groceries list for tonights welcome-home dinner. I didn't bother taking the car since the only groceries store on the rez wasn't very far away, only a few kilometers. It was a tiny little store, but it was always someone there. I greeted old Mrs. Parker, and started the tedious work of sorting my way though the list.

It wasn't until I nearly bumped into him beside the macaroni shelf, I realized one of the old council members was also out shopping. I recognized him as one of those throwing angry disapproval looks after Bella at the bonfire, and felt my face heat up at the thought. I knew who he was, everyone knew each other on the rez, but I'd never spoken to him. With yesterday's revelation still fresh in mind, I only sent him a short nod, which he returned before walking off in the other direction. I stared after him, feeling my face burn. I felt an sudden urge to call Bella and loudly exclaim my love for her.

Hey, wait a sec. That was just what I was going to do. I picked up my phone and dialed her number, making sure to keep the old man within earshot. She picked up on the third ring.

"Hi Bella!" I almost yelled into the phone, so that there was no chance he'd miss it.

Old Man sent me a disapproving look which I returned, heartfelt.

"Hi Jake," she said on the other end of he receiver. She sounded happy. "What's up?"

"I'm at the store, is there anything you need?"

"Uhm. No, it's cool," she said, a little puzzled.

Mister Narrow-Head had obviously just decided it was smarter to ignore me, and turned away. I decided to throw in all the big horses.

"Okay." I threw in a theatrical pause. "Yeah, I know. Our big day is coming up soon."

Narrow-Head turned his ear in my direction.

"What big day?" Bella asked on the other end.

"I know," I said. "I love you too honey. So much."

Narrow-Head was standing suspiciously still.

There was a long pause on the other end. "Jake?" Her voice was a little squeaky.

"I know, I can't wait either. Good thing we've managed to keep this from our dads, huh? They're gonna get so surprised when we tell them afterwards."

I ducked my head as Super-Thick spun around to stare at me, alarmed. I pretended to check the prize on a chewing gum, keeping my face as blasé as possible.

Bella finally seemed able to gather her thoughts. "What are you rambling about?" she demanded.

"You'll come up later tonight, right?" I asked her quietly.

"Erm... Yeah?"

"Great. I'll see you then." I threw in another theatrical pause, and then raised my voice slightly. "You too, honey."

"Erm-"

And then I hung up, grinning brightly to a horrified Narrow-Head, while trying to muffle my own sniggering until I was outside.

When I got home dad was sitting in the kitchen, chopping lettuce and ignoring the shrilling ringing from the phone.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" I asked, having a fair idea what his answer might be.

"No," dad said calmly, chopping steadily. "Someone in the council have started brawling again. Apparently they've gotten the idea that you and Bella are going to get married behind my back. They've been calling me for the past thirty minutes trying to warn me. I told them to stop watch soap operas."

I basked in mischief as I went to put the groceries in the fridge.

* * *

The rest of the evening passed quickly, as Rach and I helped dad to prepare whatever there was to prepare. We had to move every chair and stool we had out into the backyard, because there was no way everyone would be able to cram themselves into our tiny kitchen. Rachel was mixing marinade while dad fired up the grill, and I helped him carry out the cases of beer. The phone had stopped calling, and I smiled to myself as I thought of all the headache I might have caused.

Charlie and Bella arrived as the day began to cease, and I went outside to greet them both. When Bella approached me she was sending me wary glances, but I only grinned back at her and she didn't say anything. I knew she was thinking about my senseless phone call, and I didn't blame her. I'd explain later though. She was going to love this. I kissed her briefly, and she continued inside the house to say hello to Rachel as if understanding this was not the time to ask questions.

"Hey Charlie," I said, as he walked up to the house. He was carrying a bag with something giving out clunking noises, that was most likely to be beverage.

"Hi Jacob," he replied, shifting the bag from one hand to the other. "How's Rachel doing? Arrived safely? Traffic's a mess today."

"Yeah, no problem. She's inside."

"Good."

He finally reached the porch, shuffling some more with his bag.

"So, did you have a nice time at the graduation party Saturday?" he asked, as he flipped off his shoe before entering the house.

"Err, yeah, it was okay." I paused, grinning. Charlie had been working Saturday night. "You didn't get any reports did you?"

"Nah," he said, flipping off the other. "All was calm."

He placed his shoes to the side next to the wall, shuffled with the bag, and then stepped inside.

"Leave through the door next time you're visiting, will you?" he said over his shoulder as he started walking down the hall.

It took me a moment before I realized he wasn't taking about right now, but Saturday night. When I'd left through Bellas window. Secretly. Like, _secretly. _That Charlie really wasn't supposed to know about. But that he obviously did. _Oh. _

"Erm," I said weakly, feeling my cheeks heat up. Man I was glad his back was to me, so he didn't see. "Yeah. Okay. Sure."

He didn't say anything else, but I'm pretty sure I heard him chuckle as he disappeared into the living room. I stood on the porch a few second, feeling dumbstruck. I guess the nighttime escapes through Bella's window was over, then. How did he know? How long had he known? And last but not least, when did Charlie stop being blind and start being psychic? He must have been spending too much time with my dad.

After getting a hold of myself I got back inside. I found them all in the kitchen, unloading and preparing. Charlie sent me a look, his lip twitching slightly, and I tried my best not to look too guilty. Rachel was quizzing Bella, firing question after question about her job and college.

"Cool it, will you," I told her. "Bella hasn't shot anyone."

Rachel only grinned, unabashed.

"Not that you know of," Bella whispered conspiratorially, making everyone chuckle. And apart from my overly nosy sister, I was happy to see they got along great. I shook my head, smiling. Not that my sister was difficult to get along with; she usually just ran her own race while everyone else tried to keep up.

The Clearwaters arrived after a while too, and we all moved outside into the backyard since there wasn't that much space inside. I'd almost forgotten Leah and Rachel used to be friends, before Rachel disappeared to go to college, and I almost couldn't recognize Leah anymore as she was sitting by the tiny, unsteady table, laughing with Rachel. She seemed happy, and that was something rare when I came down to Leah.

After the first plates of food had been devoured, Bella dragged me aside in the kitchen under the pretense of getting more potato salad.

"So," she finally said. "Are you going to tell me what that was all about or what?"

I sniggered at her. "What do you mean?"

"Just the part when you called me and pretended we were going to get married," she said causally. "You know I said no, right?" A smile was twitching in the corner of her lips. I laughed at her.

"Yeah, you're gonna like this one."

When I'd finished telling her about my trip to the store though, she looked only nervous.

"You sure that was a good idea?" she asked me, chewing her lip. I scoffed at her.

"Take a break Bells. Some fretting will only do them good. It'll make them busy on their old days."

She still didn't look convinced, or maybe there was something else troubling her. Her eyes flashed to mine, and she leaned back against the counter, looking down. She was holding my hand between both of hers, and she was absentmindedly stroking her thumb up and down. She was silent for a long moment. I studied her, trying to find out if there was something more other than being worried about the council.

"Did you mean what you said on the phone?" she asked quietly, taking me a bit off guard.

I frowned, and watched as she fiddled with the sleeve of her sweater. She still didn't look at me. "What do you mean?" I asked her. I'd already explained I was joking, right?

"Not the marriage thing, the other one. You said..." She hesitated. "You said you were looking forward to the big day, and then you said 'I know', and then you said... you said... something else. Did you mean that? What you said after that?" Her voice was so quiet it was barely a whisper, and … was she blushing? Indeed, she was. The look she sent me was almost nervous, and I couldn't understand why.

"You mean the part about how our dads don't know?" I shrugged. "Cause I think they pretty much know everything, at least it feels that way. I swear, one of these days dad's gonna come out as a psychic. Maybe Charlie too, for all I know."

Bella only smiled, a little strained, and nodded. "Mhm. Yeah. That's what I meant. Come on, I'm sure the burgers are done by now."

Her voice sounded weird and I could tell she wasn't being honest, but she dragged me back outside before I had a chance to ask her about it. I would have to ask her about that later.

The next hours passed quickly, as everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. I looked over at Bella a couple of times, but she only smiled and acted like normal, so I shrugged it off. The food probably would have disappeared anyway, no matter how big of an amount, as Leah, Seth and myself easily took care of the leftovers. Rachel was shocked by her friend's appetite, but in the end she only chalked it up as direct reason of Leah's newfound muscles – everyone knew training enlarged appetite. In the end, dad, Bella and I started carrying all the dishes inside to clean up later, while the rest of the crowd relaxed outside.

After carrying my fourth load of casseroles dishes inside, and dropping an incredibly annoying spatula on the floor for the twelfth time, it was all I could do not to crush it into a plastic boomerang. Some help would be nice, thank you.

"Where's Rach?" I asked, looking around.

"Don't know," dad said vaguely, his brows furrowing in concentration as he tried not to smash the tray with dishes balanced on his lap. "Said something about taking out the trash."

I made my way back to the others, and continued helping my dad until everything was done. Then I sat down next to Bella, intertwining my hand with hers while getting interrogated about my status quo by Sue. She was nice, asking questions about school and vacation and college and other completely normal, vamp-free, Charlie-friendly stuff. Leah was sitting next to her, being quiet but paying attention while sipping her coffee. I noticed she and Bella from time to time exchanged a few almost-smiles. Seth was perched next to me, bouncing his knees impatiently and obviously thinking his mother was _so _dull.

I didn't really think it over when I heard the front door open and close, and two pair of footsteps enter the house.

"Look who I bumped into," I heard Rachel say to dad, sounding genuinely pleased.

Dad didn't reply.

"This is my dad, I'm sure you've met before," she continued, but lower, as if directed at someone else.

"Hi," someone said.

I frowned then, and turned my head towards the sound. Huh? I knew that voice. I looked over at Leah, who only shrugged. The sound of steps continued, and we all turned to see Rachel appear in the doorway. And behind her, partially covered by the doorway, was Paul.

"Look who I ran into," Rachel said, sending a astonishingly affectionate look over her shoulder. "You all know Paul, right? We haven't seen each other in ages, probably not since school. We got talking, and I figured he could just join us!"

I stared at her, just in time to see her send him another disturbingly affectionate look, the kind of look you don't ever want to see on your sisters face. She spoke of him as if they were long lost best friends, while as far as I knew they'd just met. Fair enough, everyone knew everyone at the rez, but... They'd barely acknowledged each other in school. Paul had been too busy being a bully, and Rachel had been too busy being a twin. And also, eww. Rach? Paul? _Stop thinking about it, what's wrong with me? Come on. _

I looked over at Bella, who was looking a little surprised, but trying to hide it. She smiled at me, a slight giggle escaping her lips. I guess... But then – what was that whole thing about Rachel sending _looks_ over her shoulder? I turned to look at Paul, and for a second I was deeply baffled.

It took me just a second though. One second as I took in the look upon his face. One second as I appraised his expression, the liveliness of his eyes, the smile. Just a second. Then it all clicked into place, and I pushed my way out of my chair.

"Jake!" Bella exclaimed, indignantly, as her hand was still clasped in mine and I was yanking it, and also because I had clearly startled her. But I barely acknowledged her at all. My hands started shaking. I was staring at Paul, incredulous, unable to wrap my head around what he'd just done.

He sent me a sheepish look.

"Jacob," dad said from the doorway behind them, his tone warning. My eyes flashed to his, and I knew that he knew. He didn't exactly look happy about it, but he seemed to keep his focus on me at the moment. I looked back at Paul, and if it wasn't for my hand already being clasped with Bella's, he'd might already have it in his face.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Charlie slowly raise form his chair. Maybe policemen had a gut feeling on when there was the time to take action."Jacob?" he asked, confused. "What's the problem? Surely it doesn't matter if Paul joins us? You're not having a beef with him, are you?"

I ignored him.

"My sister?" I burst out, glaring at Paul who didn't even have the decency to cringe. He only looked more sheepish, and my voice was getting louder for each word. "Are you serious? You?"

Rachel was glaring at me. "What is your problem?" she hissed.

This caught Paul's attention. Rachel was upset. I was making Rachel upset. He glared back at me, as if I suddenly was the cause of the problem.

That did it.

I would have been in his face, and he would have taken it, bad, had it not been for the hand shooting out to grab my arm. I realized Leah was standing too, and she looked furious, but not at me. She was scowling at Paul so furiously I was surprised he managed to stand up straight. Her hand was grabbing firmly around my upper arm, though I knew I would have no problem breaking her grip if I tried-

"Now, now, now," Charlie said, spreading his arms and stepping in between me and Paul, facing me. "Calm down now. What's the fuss?"

I knew this wasn't the place. Everyone was staring at me, everyone but Leah, who was scowling at Paul, and Paul himself, who was constantly sneaking glances at my sister. Seth was sitting in the middle of it all, looking terribly uncomfortable. Sue was covering her mouth with her hand, eyes shocked, and Charlie was still Chief Swan, frowning at me and waiting for me to reply. Rachel was glaring daggers deep into the pit of my soul, as I had just for apparently no reason started yelling at her new...her new... _I'm not even gonna go there. _Dad was sitting behind Rachel, shaking his head in short, sharp movements as if telling me _no. _And Bella-

Bella was staring at me too. Her eyes were wide, lips slightly parted, and there was an expression of pure disbelief on her face. She _knew. _I just knew that she knew. She'd guessed, and maybe it was pretty obvious after all. Our eyes met for a few, long seconds, and as she looked down there was something else there too that I didn't quite catch. Next second, she silently stood up from her chair, and walked past my dad and into the house. No one seemed to think twice at this though, as they were all still busy staring at me, waiting. There was a loud thud as the door slid shut behind her.

* * *

A.N: _Ohlala, the drama! Only five chapters left now. Humongous thank you to JJ Twi1ight for help and beta-work, and to all of you who took time to leave a review. There's spoilers for those who want, I have them right here... ;)_


	36. Girls

**Girls**

* * *

_Bella was staring at me too. Her eyes were wide, lips slightly parted, and there was an expression of pure disbelief on her face. She knew. I just knew that she knew. She'd guessed, and maybe it was pretty obvious after all. Our eyes met for a few, long seconds, and as she looked down there was something else there too that I didn't quite catch. Next second, she silently stood up from her chair, and walked past my dad and into the house. No one seemed to think twice at this though, as they were all still busy staring at me, waiting. There was a loud thud as the door slid shut behind her._

* * *

I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't. Rachel. My sister. Paul. _Brother in law. _No. It had to be a rule against these things, some unspoken rule or something, _anything,_ but at the same time I knew it wasn't as the result was staring me straight in the face.

"Jacob!"

I heard Rachel's voice as she snapped at me again, and I realized I was still the center of attention. My hands had started shaking again, Leah's hand still gripping my arm firmly. I needed to snap out of this right now.

"Uhm," I said vaguely, willing the shaking of my hands to stop. After a moment, it did. "Sorry," I managed to squeeze out, avoiding everyone's gaze. My eyes flashed to my dad, who was looking immensely relieved that I was coming to my senses. "I just - erm - gotta go..."

And then I made my legs move, forced myself to walk past Paul without breaking his jaw, passed my dad in the doorway who sent me a short, relieved nod, and entered the backdoor and into the kitchen where Bella had disappeared just moments before.

"What's his problem?" I heard Rachel say behind me, as I strode through the kitchen without a particular target. I could clearly picture the disturbed look on her face as she stared after me.

"Maybe Bella and Jacob had an arguement or something," I heard Charlie say thoughtfully, clearly feeling like it was his duty to calm Rachel down. "It probably hasn't anything to do with you at all. Kid's only overreacting. Maybe he's having a hard time."

There was a brief pause.

"Well, we'll just have to let them sort it out," dad said then, his voice strangely in control. I could tell he was working his hardest not to freak out himself. "It's probably nothing serious. They have managed to figure things out on their own before," he added, forcing himself to chuckle. "Now, anyone want some more beer? Charlie?"

I heard Charlie mumble something in acceptance and I let the door close behind me, muffling the sound of their voices.

This, right here, was just the thing I needed right now. More fuel to the fire I'd desperately tried to cease. And my _sister_! I was fuming, and my hands started shaking again. I raged through the kitchen and into the living room. There was no sign of Bella anywhere, so I continued into the hallway only to find the front door open. This stupid myth was supposed to be rare! And why her? Why _Paul_? Had it only been anyone else! _Anyone!_

I knew why Bella had walked away like she did. I knew what she was thinking. She was so frightened of imprinting, of us, of me. How it might suddenly alter everything between us, everything we'd so carefully built up. Now it was just turned upside down, inside out, leaving us clawing on the walls to keep from falling down. She was just as frightened as I was. And this time, it hit a little too close to home.

I strode out on the porch, past the door that was already open. My arms were trembling now, but this time I was simply too furious to bother with it. My head was a mess, my ears filled with an annoying, dull throbbing. I needed to talk to Bella, make her see that this had nothing to do with us at all. And then, when we'd sorted things out, I would break Paul's nose and jaw, and maybe an arm or two. Deep down I knew this wasn't his fault either, but right now I couldn't care less. Anyway, now was not the time to phase. I would have to calm down for Bella. She was more important.

I found her in the garage. She was sitting in the dirty, old couch that had always been perched in a corner next to some other junk. She was sitting on the very edge, her arms on her knees and face buried in her palms. I knew my furious footsteps across the rocks had already given me away, so she must know I was here even if she didn't look up. I rubbed my forehead, and with great effort I managed to gather my thoughts and stop the trembling of my hands. _Cool it. Now. _

I cleared my throat.

"Bells," I said, my voice shaky. "This isn't- This doesn't mean anything."

Her head shot up to look at me then. Her expression was closed up, and impossible to read.

"That's easy for you to say," she snapped.

I sighed, and rubbed my forehead again before I moved towards her. I willed my hands to keep calm, and not tremble. They obliged, resistant.

"No, it's not," I started, but was cut off when Bella heaved herself up from the moldy couch and started moving around in the garage with angry jerks of her feet.

"How many is it now?" she startled rambling, not hearing a word of what I was trying to say. "50 percent? Half of the wolves, or something? Sorry if I just don't want to sit here and wait patiently for it to happen with you too."

She was upset and afraid, I knew that, but she was letting it out on me. My mood, which was already pretty tattered at the moment, got even worse.

"Look," I tried again, the building volcano inside me finally getting to me. This wasn't my fault, and she knew that too. There was no reason why she would act like this, it wasn't like it was me who had done anything wrong. "I don't like this any more than you do. But what do you want me to do about it?"

Bella flapped her hands out wide in a very Charlie-like movement, and glared at me. I noticed her eyes were red rimmed.

"There's nothing you can do!" she exclaimed. "That's the whole problem."

Her hair was falling into her face, and she was angry, and she was taking it out on me. I rubbed my forehead – my head had started to throb painfully again, as if I needed something to make this worse. My hands started shaking and I willed them to be still, but they wouldn't, and it only made me even more thunderous.

"This," I started, keeping my eyes closed and trying not to let the anger I had inside out on her too. "Has nothing to do with us."

Bella continued her angry pacing, unable to keep still.

"I wish you'd just imprinted right away and we'd be done with this already, instead of just waiting for it to happen," she muttered icily.

My eyes flared open, and I stared at her. She wasn't making sense, none of this was making sense.

"What, do you _want_ me to imprint on you? That's not how it works, Bella."

She glared right back at me.

"Of course I don't want that. I don't want you to imprint on me at all. I just don't want you to do it on anyone else, either."

I sighed, closing my eyes again in exasperation. "Bella, this doesn't affect us. This is them. It's not us."

"Well, obviously it lays in the family."

"Bells-"

"Don't 'Bells' me right now!" she snapped. When I opened my eyes, she'd moved her hands to clutch her head between her hands. "I' know I'm being stupid and this isn't your fault, but this is seriously freaking me out. Sorry for being like this but I can't help it."

She looked at me, and she was blinking back tears as she spoke. They were angry ones, not sad, I knew that. She always started crying when she got angry.

I sighed again, and finally managed to gain control of my shaking hands.

"Look-" I said, wanting to give her something, just a word of comfort, anything, but didn't have any. I really had no idea what I could say to make this better. Instead I took a tentative step towards her. She didn't back away. With another two steps I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around her, and she rested her head on my chest in defeat. She didn't hug me back though, and I felt her shoulders slump. It was as if the air went out of her, like of the balloon after a party. Very quietly, I could hear her stifle a sob.

"Maybe we should just..." she whispered against my throat, defeated.

Something in me froze.

"Don't say that," I snapped at her, and pulled back to look at her. The anger flared in me again like a very hungry lion, and my forehead started throbbing. She was crying now, and her expression scared me more than anything I'd seen in months. She was looking up at me, eyes sad and tired. This, right here, was just the thing I had been waiting for. And not only me, Cullen too. This was what he had been hoping for, for her to just give up and make the easy way out. She was giving up. "Don't say things like that," I said, shaking her shoulders slightly.

She recoiled a little from my harsh tone. "I just don't know _what _to do, Jacob!" she exclaimed, taking a few steps back from me and looking very forlorn. She spread her arms wide again. "I'm lost here, okay?"

"Why are you freaking out so badly about this?" I snapped at her, irritated, and somewhere deep down a little scared. I realized I was gesticulating my hands up in angry movements. "It's not like it was I who imprinted. And she's not _your_ sister either! This isn't my fault, why are you acting like this?" Just the thought that she might be thinking about giving up on us, made me so angry I didn't know what to do. _Unfair, _my head screamed. _This isn't my fault!_

"Because I love you, stupid," she yelled back furiously, tears threatening to spill and run down her cheek.

I was about to snap something back, but instead I turned speechless for a frozen moment as I realized what she'd just said. We stared at each other.

She'd never ever told me that before. Not this way. Not like that. I kind of knew, that she did deep down, but she had never admitted it herself. It was just one of those things that had been lurking between the lines, and I'd never wanted to push her on it, not for real. The anger in Bella's eyes slowly drained from her face as she realized what she'd just slipped, and as she looked up at me her expression was almost nervous. It was obvious she hadn't meant to say it. Maybe she didn't even know until she'd said it out had.

I felt the smile spread on my face all by itself, and without really being aware of it, I moved towards her until I was standing straight in front of her. Bella smiled back nervously, her hands getting fidgety.

"Really?" The question escaped my lips without my consent; I just couldn't help but ask. My voice was barely a whisper, and I was surprised she'd heard it at all. But Bella nodded, slowly, as if unable to find her voice. She bit her lip absentmindedly, and my heart soared.

"About time you realized that," I grinned down at her, and then I scooped her up and kissed her, and that was all we did for a very long time. Her feet was swinging a good few inches off the ground, and she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me back as I held her to me. I could feel her smile against my lips, and I smiled back, or grinned, more accurately, and she sighed deeply, calmly for the first time in a long time.

I don't know how long we stood like that. When we pulled back, it was still a light summers night, so it couldn't have been for days and days even though it just might as well have felt that way. Bella smiled up at me, her eyes still teary. I dried her cheeks with my thumb.

She loved me.

That knowledge could make me manage anything. My hands were still shaking, and my forehead still throbbing, but for a while that just didn't matter. It was the first time she'd ever told me those words, and I realized, surprised, that I hadn't even said it back. I knew that she knew, but still. Surely I had told her this before? A thousand times? I had only been thinking it every time I saw her for the past year or so.

"I love you," I told her quietly "There, I said it. Like, officially. But you already knew that."

She only smiled, and looked like she was about to cry again, but not out of anger of fear this time. I watched as she sighed and wiped her eyes again on her sleeve.

"Sorry I yelled at you," she mumbled. "I know it's not your fault. I just ... have some abandonment issues."

She said the last few words quietly, so quietly even I had difficulty hearing them. I smiled at the obviousness of her statement. Of course she had. Who could blame her.

"I know," I said, pulling her back to me. "Good thing I'm still here then."

Laughter ran through her body.

"You're so cheesy," she snorted through her tears.

"I know," I grinned, suddenly completely unable not to. "Good thing you like cheese."

In the back of my head, I was vaguely aware of someone silently approaching the garage from the house, but I didn't bother turning. As long as it wasn't Paul, it didn't matter. Had it been Paul, I was pretty sure my self control wasn't strong enough not to break his nose.

There was a knock on the garage wall behind us. I turned around, and wasn't surprised to see Leah. I knew it was her, and beside who else really? Why she was here was a puzzle though.

"Hi," she said tightly, her eyes flashing between the two of us as if unsure where to settle her gaze. She finally turned to look at Bella. "I just wondered if I could talk to you for a second?"

Like me, it took a moment before Bella realized Leah was talking to her. She looked back and forth between Leah and me, for a moment unsure.

"Me?" she clarified, astonished, while subtly trying to dry her face again with her sleeve without anyone noticing but failing brilliantly.

"Yeah," Leah said. She looked at me briefly, but didn't say anything else.

"Uhm. Sure," Bella agreed, puzzled. She sent me a confused smile and squeezed my hand before walking off towards Leah. They started walking out of the garage, when Leah turned to meet my curious stare.

"Charlie's looking for you," she said shortly, nodding her head back towards the house. The hint was clear; she wanted me to leave and not listen in on their conversation. This talk wasn't for my ears – she wanted to talk to Bella alone. I only nodded, and reluctantly walked out after them only to head back towards the house.

I couldn't help but turn a couple of times, watching a little worried as the two girls headed towards the forest in the opposite direction. I had no idea what Leah was up to, and if she told Bella something rude... I wasn't sure if Bella could handle that right now, not in the middle of all this. And Leah had been pretty rude towards Bells before... She'd meant it well, in her own way, but if she screwed this up now, I wasn't sure I'd forgive her. Now, in the middle of all this, just when we'd manage to look past all the heartache. I nearly turned back, regretting I'd ever agreed to it, but then saw Charlie waiting for me by the porch of the house. His arms were crossed, and he was waiting. His brows were drawn together and he was observing me. _Great. _Another investigation.

I reached him at last, my mind still on the two girls I'd left behind. Charlie only looked at me with a knowing expression, keeping his arms crossed. A few thunderingly silent moments passed.

"So," he finally said. "That was some show you put up there."

I didn't know what to say, so I just stuffed my hands in my pockets and stared at his feet.

Charlie sighed and dropped his arms. One hand landed on my shoulder. "Come Jacob," he said, his tone much milder. "Sit down."

He turned to sit down on the porch steps, obviously wanting me to follow. Hesitantly, I did. There was another pause while he thought about how to phrase himself; my guesses were conversations like this wasn't his strongest side. I wondered what he was making of all this.

"I think I have a fair idea what's going on here," he said. "It doesn't take a genius to understand what's happening."

_Uh huh. _I had great difficulty not to raise one eyebrow. Charlie only continued.

"I can get why you're upset," he said, nodding to himself. "And I know why you reacted like you did when Paul showed up. He's got his reputation against him, and Rachel is your sister after all. I know what conclusions you must have been making when he entered. Of course you are feeling protective of your sister."

Well, that was an understatement. Sort of. Charlie drew a deep breath and continued.

"But seriously Jacob, they are only friends. Paul is very polite, and he seems genuinely interested in your sister. So maybe you shouldn't listen to everything you hear. People always love gossip, it doesn't mean it's true. I mean, it doesn't seem likely that he is...ah... I mean, that they ..."

_Eww. Kill-me-now-kill-me-now-kill-me-now._

"Anyway," Charlie coughed. "Even if Paul has got some reputation with the ladies, that doesn't mean people can't change. And think about it for a second; right now he is sitting inside talking to Billy, and he has spent the rest of the time getting to know your sisters family and friends. He is acting like any other good kid, so I think it's unfair of you to be this prejudiced against him," Charlie shrugged. "Kid seems nice to me."

He was looking at me now, clearly expecting an answer.

"Sure sure," I finally dragged, staring at the mud in front of the porch, feeling a bit like mud too. "Great."

Charlie chuckled. "You'll get used to it. Just think about what I told you before doing anything rash, okay? It's not like he's your new brother in law or anything."

And then he clapped my shoulder once before getting up and going back into the house. Super. Just peachy.

At least the council would be content one of the Black kids were engaged inside the boundaries of the rez .

Feeling an urge to move, I got myself back up on my feet and started pacing in front of the house. Remembering that Bella was still out in the forest alone with Leah (that actually sounded much more frightening when put like that) I was getting a little worried. I strained my ears to see if I could pick up any sort of yelling or crying, but all was quiet. The only sounds were from the people in the backyard on the other side of the house.

I'd just decided enough was enough and to go and check Leah hadn't actually abducted Bella, when I heard footsteps. One pair of smooth, quiet feet, and one pair of stumbling, loud ones. I looked up just when they both appeared around the corner of the garage, and they both walked towards me.

I watched, a little nervously, as the two girls approached me. To my great surprise, Bella was smiling broadly when she saw me. There was a new glint to her eyes that hadn't been there before, and she was beaming towards me like she'd just gotten great news. It completely took me off guard; I'd nearly expected her to run towards me screaming with tears in her eyes.

"What did you two talk about?" I asked when she finally reached me, curious and quite astonished. I quickly peeked over at Leah, but she didn't look at me at all. She seemed busy studying the nearest tree.

"That's none of your business," Bella said with a smile, leaning up on her toes to kiss me. Not just a peck on the lips either – it was the sort of kiss that made my brain shrink and blood boil (or run south, rather). Leah only rolled her eyes at my noisy heartbeats. When Bella pulled back she sent a smile at both me and Leah before going back inside.

I looked at Leah, feeling my eyebrows raise.

"What did you say to her?" I asked, astonished. With Bella gone, my blood was quickly retreating back up to my brain.

"Wish you knew, huh?" Leah smirked.

I only stared at her, feeling both grateful, baffled and pretty suspicious at the same time. There was something in her expression that made my stomach knot unkomfortably. Leah only spread her arms out and shrugged, a smug look upon her face.

"What can I say? You owe me."

And then she ruffled her hand through my hair just like Rach used to do, before following Bella inside leaving me alone on the porch.

_Girls._

* * *

_A.N: Enourmous and very grateful thankyous to kallmecrazy and JJ Twi1ight who took time of their busy lives to help me out with this one. Also very grateful thankyous to all of you who reviewed. It has been a busy few weeks, but the next chapters are now mostly done so it shouldn't be this long until next time. _

_As always, reviws are very much appreciated. S to the P to the O to the I to the L to the E to the R... ;)_


	37. Dreads and Pi

**Dreads and Pi**

* * *

There was only one good thing coming out of Paul imprinting on my sister. One. We didn't have to hide anything from Rachel.

The Day of the Really Ear-piercing Appalling Deed, or D.R.E.A.D as I liked to call it, it had been a pure nightmare trying to get Paul to leave. He stayed after all the other guests had gone, being all lovey-dovey with Rachel in the living room while dad and I exchanged dark scowls.

During the evening, Dad pulled him off to the side to talk to him for a about twenty minutes or so. Unfortunately, I had to distract Rachel in the meantime for her not to get suspicious, so I have no idea what dad said to Paul but I certainly hoped he warned him profoundly. Dad was well aware of what imprinting meant, and it wasn't his favorite smalltalk-subject either. When Paul finally left that night, he and Rachel exchanged endless promises and mutual joy over meeting each other the next day. Rachel had already accepted my muttered apology about my behavior earlier (I suspected she'd spoken to Charlie and gotten his human version, and that she thought it was really cute).

So Paul left, leaving Rachel in seventh heaven like a particularly giggly fourteen year old ( I had to lay the whole night listening to her whispered phone call to Becca, as she repeated over and over how great Paul was, how mysterious, how cool and most importantly, how _hot_. I was in my room making faint gurgling noises, considering whether or not to vomit_). _

Sometime the next day, between endless walks on the beach, whispered words and secretive kisses that made me want to cut my ears off, he told her. Everything. Crash bang boom schmacadoo and then she knew. The secret was out of the box, wolf out of the bag, leech out of the mansion.

I made sure I wasn't around at the moment.

Next time I saw Rach, she was walking around in the house with a poorly disguised hickey on her neck, wearing a knowing expression because now she _knew, _something she couldn't even tell Becca, and it was major. Like, _huge. _She wanted to have a long, hairy, how-does-it-really-feel-like-to-be-a-werewolf conversation, followed by a does-Paul-think-about-me-as-much-as-I-think-about-him conversation, ending in a isn't-this-wonderful-don't-worry-it-will-probably-happen-with-you-too-some-day monologue.

By this time I'd shut my ears and refused to say another word, vowing to myself to introduce her to Emily as soon as possible.

For the pack, this didn't really make a whole lot of difference. Sam didn't have a problem with it. This didn't really affect him much, except he was happy that Emily was happy, because she would get someone else to confide in. And he felt a little sheepish when it came to Leah, of course, as this was ripping up old wounds, and Leah wasn't particularly overjoyed about imprinted couples in general - Sam always felt sheepish towards Leah. Also, he was a little annoyed to have more issues to deal with pack-wise, as both Paul and I would have less abilities to concentrate now. Paul would be broadcasting images of my sisters' underwear and I would be lunging myself at him whenever he was within reach in attempt to pulverize his nose or tear his head off. Other than that, no biggie.

Dad had fled the house, and it was beginning to look permanent. Paul had altered his ways, as the norm was for the i-people, and his center of attention was now purely my sister. This was something my dad was fully aware of. He was also aware it was permanent, and by that also break-up proof. He was also quickly becoming aware of the consuming amount of attention the two of them were willing to provide each other, and that said attention wasn't necessarily something a father would want to hover around for. Rachel considered herself a grown and independent woman, who could do what she liked with whomever she liked. From previous experience, dad knew forcing a stubborn daughter to see reason wasn't very effective - at least it hadn't been with Becca - and so dad went for the theory _better inside in private than outside in public. _

It wasn't that he disliked Paul; he had been just as polite towards Paul as he'd always been towards Bella. I knew dad wasn't thrilled that this had happened to Rach though, but I knew he'd get used to it quickly – he'd already lost one daughter. At least Rach would be staying now.

So when Paul started regularly appearing at the door just after dad had finished his morning coffee , dad explored his newfound abilities at excuse-making. Going to Sue's, going to Charlie's, going to his doctor, going to the store, going fishing, going to the neighbor, going to Charlie's, going fishing … (I knew for a fact that he was hiding out over at the Clearwater's most of the time.)

He would barely manage to get out of the house before the smooching and wooing started, and with dad gone, the living room was an open battlefield for tonsil hockey and other un-sisterly activities. This gave me no option but to flee either, as both Paul and my sister seemed to forget how the wolf-gene also included better hearing (I did not leave the house with a light heart, as I knew that when I came back no surface would be safe).

So I fled to Bella's house whenever I could, making Charlie shake his head and roll his eyes. He thought I was being ridiculous, and I'd overheard him gossip about it with dad (the traitor) over the phone. Charlie was convinced I'd ´get over it´when I realized things weren't this ´black and white` (dad was being suspiciously neutral, hmm-ing and mmm-ing a lot, finishing with a ´sure, sure´. Still traitor.)

It was exactly one week after the Day of the Deed, and I was over at Bella's. After doing the laundry and discovering one of Paul's boxer briefs in the hamper, I'd fled the house faster than dad was able to mumble `excuse` and was now lounging in Bella's bed watching her fold socks.

"And the worst part is," I said, ending a long tirade where I was systematically pouring my heart out. "_There's no way to make it stop. _It's not going to end when he leaves to work, or when she goes back to school, because she wont, or when he screws up and she dumps him, because she wont and he wont either. This is just how it's going to be from now on. Paul and Rach. Wooing in the living room. Always. Every day. _Ever._ I'm banned from my own home."

"Don't you think you're exaggerating a little?" Bella said, searching in the pool of black socks to find two that would fit, her lip twitching slightly as she smiled to herself.

"No."

"Not even a little?" she pressed, picking up two promising candidates before putting one of them back down.

"Definitely not."

Bella sent me a quick smile, the warmth in her eyes making my stomach prickle. I reached out to stroke a finger down her shoulder, making her smile widen.

Since we'd argued that day when it happened, (which by the way must be the best fight in history since Bella ended up saying she loved me and we had sex three times the following day, at her place, my place, and in the garage), we hadn't spoken of imprinting at all. We had only talked about Rachel and Paul a lot. Talked as in I would complain loudly, call Paul very suitable and well-deserved names, Charlie would roll his eyes and phone dad, Bella would laugh and shake her head, or maybe pat my cheek jokingly. But we only spoke of them as if my sister had just gotten a very annoying new boyfriend, a new crush, a new … whatever. We didn't speak of it as imprinting. Which it was.

Since that fight, I hadn't brought it up and neither had she. I think this was mostly because of the conversation she'd had with Leah, a conversation they both still refused profoundly to tell me about, dammit. I was deeply suspecting that Leah had been bashing out my deepest secrets and embarrassing Bella-fantasies to Bella herself. This was absolutely horrifying of course, but on the other hand Bella seemed a lot happier now. Though sometimes, when she would get thoughtful, her lips tightened and I knew she was thinking about the imprinting-issue after all. This really bothered me, but I hadn't spoken to her about it yet.

"What were you and Leah talking about?" I asked her for the five hundred and thirty second time. My plan was to ask this question until she got so annoyed she exploded and spilled it all, but so far Bella was only annoyingly calm.

"That's none of you business," she told me kindly without even looking up from the ocean of socks in front of her. She also got that tiny smirk on her face, the slight twitching of lips that meant she knew something I didn't, and that it was something she liked very much. My brain was practically squirming with curiosity, and also a tiny little feeling of uneasiness. Who knows what Leah had been bashing out? It could be _anything. _

"Bells, come on. You have to tell me sometime," I pressed.

"Nope."

"Please?"

"I'm not going to tell you," she said calmly, still smiling that smile, while folding another pair.

I sighed heavily and poked her in the side. She only smiled that smile again, and picked up another sock.

"I'm not Rachel, you know," she reminded me. "That ask-until-she's-going-crazy thing doesn't work with me."

Huh. She was probably on to something there, but no way I was admitting it.

"Nothing is going to piss Rachel off anymore now," I grumbled to myself, as this brought my mind back to our previous subject. I stared up at the ceiling. "Oh no, not anymore. She's in _love._" I groaned. "Damn Paul. Can I move in here? I can sleep in your chest of drawers."

"Yeah," Bella said, "I'd like that. Though I'll get a little offended if you'd rather sleep next to my socks than me."

It took me a second.

"Really?" My head snapped up from the bedspread, and I turned to look up at her. She only kept folding socks in a steady rhythm.

"Yeah, I admit that would be a little disturbing," she said. "I would get all jealous on my socks. Which would be kind of weird."

"No," I waved her off. "Can I sleep here? Charlie's cool with that?"

"I'll talk to him," she said simply.

I felt a cheesy smile plaster up on my face, and she laughed. We sat in silence for a few moments, as she finished folding the socks.

"What did you and Leah talk about?" I whispered, knowing I wouldn't get an answer.

"Nothing," she insisted with a smile, and smacked my shoulder with the sock she was holding.

I grinned at her, sighed, and rested my head to the side. I knew she'd give me a hard time, but I'd find out eventually. Right now, I was content just laying like this next to her as she folded socks. Now and then Bella took time to run her fingertips lazily through my hair. I was feeling a bit drowsy.

There was something I knew we should talk about. Something I wanted to tell her. Something I needed to let her know. And this might just be the best moment to do it. It was something that I'd been thinking about for a while, and she should know. It wasn't bad, it was nice, I think. Though it wasn't exactly the thing to just plunge out with over the dinner table. I wanted to do it smoothly, as so little else I'd done so far. And I had no idea how to begin.

This was no dinner table, though.

I was debating to myself whether I should say something or just leave it for another time, when Bella took the problem straight out of my hands without even knowing it.

"I like your hair," she said, as she ran her fingers through my hair once again. All the socks were folded now, and were laying neatly in a laundry basket by the end of the bed. "It's getting long. You need a haircut soon."

So easy. Just like that, and then not. It was so easy to see where this could be headed, and then also I could just drop it as it was and not say anything. But this might just be the best opportunity I'd get. Bella dragged her fingertips through my hair once again, playing with it.

"I was thinking..." I started, but then paused before plunging in it anyway. "I was thinking maybe not cutting it."

I tilted my head up to the side and measured her expression closely. She smiled, a little puzzled and dragged her hand through my hair once again.

"Do you mean, like, long?" she clarified.

"Would you mind?"_ Not that I thought she would, but ..._

"No, not at all," she frowned. "I just... wouldn't that be uncomfortable? Isn't there a reason why you cut it when you phase?"

Just like that. So easy.

"Yeah," I said slowly and deliberately. "It is."

There was a brief silence.

"Then wouldn't you be running around with fur reaching the ground?" Bella asked. She sniggered. "You would be like a gigantic Bearded Collie. That can't be very practical."

I easily ignored her comparison between me and a collie - _I mean, come on – _and instead watched the tip of my own finger as I stroked down her arm.

"Maybe I wouldn't have to do that," I said quietly. "Maybe I wouldn't need fur anymore at all."

I looked up at her, letting my words sink in. I knew it the moment she got it, but she still frowned as if not quite believing what I'd just said.

"I- what do you mean?" she finally said.

I smiled at her puzzled face, and decided to put it simple. "I've been thinking. And when all this is over – I'll stop phasing."

She only stared at me for a bunch of long seconds. Then she frowned slightly. "Why?" she asked carefully.

"Just -" I moved my gaze back to my finger on her arm, moving upwards this time. "Because I want to go back to having a normal life again. And I want to go to college, which is kind of problematic when you change into a giant, hairy furball every other day, and because there's not really any need for it anymore with all the vamps gone, and I never really wanted it either; I don't want to be alpha, even if I should, and -" I turned to look at her, grinning slightly, "-because that means I can get on with my life and grow old and get wrinkly with you - you cant be the only one who gets wrinkly, that would be weird and kinda pedophiliac. And also-" I looked back down at my hand, "because that will make imprinting impossible."

I thought back to see if I'd left something out. Nope, that seemed to be about it.

Bella seemed speechless for a few seconds. That usually happened after someone saying the word "imprint".

"Wow," she finally said, after a long moment where our breaths and heartbeats were the only sound in the room. "You think you can do it, just like that?"

"Maybe," I said, thinking about Leah. "After a while. With some practice."

We didn't speak for a long time after that. Bella seemed to be in deep thought beside me, and I let her think. I listened to the vague sounds of running water and Charlie walking around in the kitchen downstairs. It didn't take long until I became drowsy again.

It had been quiet for several minutes when Bella broke the silence. "What do you mean when you said you don't want to be alpha?"

I looked at her, and she was frowning slightly, the familiar v back between her eyebrows. Oh, right. I'd never told her about that before. How Sam wasn't really the one supposed to lead the pack – it was me. So I told her this in quiet words as I listened to Charlie clunking around downstairs. I explained both about how I had better control than the others, how that probably would make this all easier for me, and how I probably should have taken Sam's place but declined.

"It's just not for me," I finished. "I never wanted to lead."

Bella looked at me for a long time, a weird look upon her face.

"Chief Jacob," she whispered, as if testing the words on her tongue.

I snorted. Loudly. "Oh, shut up."

She only grinned at me. "Does this mean I'll be older than you again?" Her eyes glinted a little as if she was just about to burst out a '_Hah!_' and then roll over laughing mischievously.

I only raised one eyebrow at her expression, and the slight smile I saw there.

"You'll _never_ get older than me," I said. "After all, my age of skill and knowhow is _legendary._"

She tipped all the socks over my head in reply.

* * *

I stayed with her the rest of the day, and I was surprised when she actually spoke to Charlie about me spending the night. And, not so surprisingly, Charlie got all bothered and squirming when she did. He huffed and puffed a little before finally agreeing that as long as I came and went through the front door, (this made me squirm a little, but more out of guilt than anything else) it was fine. Bella was blushing profoundly all the time, and throughout the whole conversation they both made sure they were looking anywhere but at each other as if both of them were suddenly finding the yellow kitchen cabinets extremely interesting. The whole thing was pretty hilarious.

I regretted it soon enough though. Later that night, after we'd said goodnight to (a still bothered and huffing) Charlie and climbed the stairs to barricade ourselves in Bella's room, the result of my own suggestion hit me.

"Oh man," I groaned, and flopped down on her bed. Her tiny, tiny bed. "I forgot your bed is only half as big as mine is."

Bella only laughed at me and flopped down beside me. "Get used to it."

_Some comfort, huh._

I gave up trying to get myself to fit, and just slung my feet over the edge. They'd just have to hang there for now. We lay there quietly for a few moments, listening to the night-sounds through the open window and the muffled sounds from the TV downstairs. Bella hadn't asked more about the phasing-issue, nor had she mentioned it again. I suspected she was still getting used to the thought. But when I'd watched her smile and the glow in her eyes, I also suspected that she liked it a little.

"I called Edward today," Bella said then, breaking the bright pink bubble where my thoughts were buzzing. Out of the blue, just like that. Just making nice bedtime conversation, not even realizing what topic she'd dragged in like a slug on the carpet. My jaw tightened for a second.

"You did?" I muttered through clenched teeth. _How nice. _

"Yeah," she said quietly. "He said they are leaving tomorrow. I'm going over there to say goodbye."

My jaw de-clenced. Clenched again, de-clenched. They were leaving. Tomorrow. _Now_. No time. Finally. I took a deep breath, and decided that dancing a victory dance right now would probably make Charlie quite a bit more than bothered if he was to hear bumping from upstairs.

"Okay," I said. Completely chill. No biggie. Breathe. Relax. Don't grin too much. No dancing. Just pretend like nothing. Chill. Cool. Uh huh. I could do this. "Want me to come with you?"

Even my voice was steady and not overly thrilled. Man, I was good at this.

"Sure," Bella said.

"Okay."

_Smooth, Black. Breathe. Pretend like nothing. Cool. Just stay cool. _

Bella looked up at me, her eyes glinting. "You don't have to do that."

_Uh oh_. "Do what?" I said innocently.

"Pretending you don't want to do a victory dance."

I stared at her. What was happening to the world? They were all turning psychic, the whole bunch of them.

"Man, how did you know that?" I asked her, stunned and a little timid.

She flashed me a grin then. "You're not very hard to read."

And then she leaned over and kissed me, and if I'd wanted to make a victory dance before, now I wanted to make a Broadway Show. We kissed, and it quickly became frenzied and clumsy. Her hands started roaming, and I put my hands on her hips to pull her closer. Listening closely to make sure Charlie was still safely downstairs watching sports with the sound turned on – and loudly - I then put him as far out of my mind I could possibly manage. I didn't really think much at all really. Bella started nudging my shirt, and my brain died completely.

Like if they were following a command from someone else, my hands grabbed her around the hip and lifted her over to lay down beside me on the bed. She touched her lips to my ear and my heart started flapping uncontrollably in my rib cage. Bella pulled at my jeans.

We were exceptionally quiet. Or, as quiet as one can be when one haven't been alone with their girlfriend, (like, _alone,) _for more than a little eternity (four days equals eternity). I knew the only reason she didn't freak out and throw me out of the window was because her dad was far away in the other side of the house, busy watching sports with the sound on (I repeat, loudly), and because she relied on my better hearing to catch it if something would happen. And of course, I was being exceptionally good at being quiet. As quiet as one can be after a four day eternity. That had to count for something.

Her bed was too small and squeaky, so again the floor became the solution. She buried herself in blankets and giggled a lot, pardon-me-for-trying-to-be-quiet, and our previously clumsy touches were definitely becoming more familiar and way more successful by now. By the time she had undone my jeans and made quick business out of anything called boxer shorts, I was already declared technically brain dead for the fifth time.

"Man- Err, Bells, when you do that...oh cra- uhm, that's not a good – ughm – idea."

She was running her hands up and down in certain ways, wrapped around certain places, giggling, stroking, kissing, teasing and making my head swim. No wait, making my head drown. My head couldn't swim. It was drowning brilliantly.

"Be quiet," she giggled, in a particularly unbellaish way. She had obviously no plans to throw me a life jacket anytime soon.

"Urrg- that's a – ughm – bad – _oh sweet mother of _– idea."

She only kissed me, breathing heavily, her breath fanning over my cheek as she blissfully ignored my stuttering advise.

"Shush," she whispered again, touching her lip with one finger in a disturbingly hot way which really didn't help the matter.

Her hands were cold against my heated skin, she was naked and had hair falling down her front, she was teasing and giggling and I was trying my very best to be quiet. But the floor didn't squeak, and the blankets were soft, and she was softer and it had been _four days. _

My brain was long lost, but that really didn't matter. I didn't need it. She was above me, and she was buckling her hips and in not long I had to remind her to be quiet a bit more than four times, which by the way was boosting my ego enormously. Her hair slipped over her shoulder and down her back as she moved, and I desperately tried to find out what the square root of pi was to keep my concentration in check. We kept it up for a while. Not until the blankets were wrinkled and I had to cover her mouth with my hand to keep her noises down, did the world break into several tiny pieces as pi went to hell and I to heaven.

Believe it or not, we had been silent. I did listen, when we lay down - as in fell in a heap on the floor on top of the scrunchy blankets - but the house was exactly like ever before. Charlie was still muttering words to the players on the screen, sound on and loud. I took a moment to praise the brilliant invention of recaps.

Bella turned to look at me, resting her chin on my chest. She smiled widely, her breath still uneven. I pushed her hair away from her face as it was sticking to her damp forehead. She looked so happy and peaceful and so hazy I was sure she'd spill all her secrets without a second thought if I asked her.

Wait a sec.

"Hey Bells?" I whispered softly.

"Mhm?" she said in a very drowsy, slightly drunk and postcoital sounding way. _Piece of cake._

"What did you and Leah talk about?"

I looked down at her as innocently as I could, my toes curling in mischief. She looked at up me for a few seconds, and then her lips curled up. Just like that way they always curled now, when she knew something I didn't and she loved it.

"None of your business."

_Dammit._

* * *

_A.N: _

_As always, a huge thank you goes to JJ Twi1ight for multilingual beta-work, and also to you who reviewed. _

_We are approaching the end, and you might already sense what is coming... If not, I've made a big business out of bribing people (shamelessly), and this is no exception. You review me, I spoil thee ;) _


	38. Later, Alligator

**Later, Alligator **

* * *

_A.N: _

_Dear readers. To all of you who might sit there full of expectations right now because you are expecting to read about the conversation between Leah and Bella (yes, the secret one), well, you might notice it isn't there. Which is weird, since, you know, I said it would be when I replied to some of your reviews. Err. Well. Yeah. You see, I was kind of thinking about the NEXT chapter when I said that. Which really doesn't make any sense, but yeah. Err. Don't know why I was thinking about that, really. So. Uhm. Sorry! Lets just say you'll find out when you find out (totally safe proof sentence, there). _

_(Really, don't think too much of it, it's not THAT exciting. I'm just creating false hope here, making this super-anticlimactic...)_

_As always, an enormous thank you goes to JJ Twi1ight for providing sense and corrections, and for pointing out senseless quirks from my muddled brain._

* * *

"Morning Charlie," I yawned as I descended the stairs the next day.

Charlie was sitting on his usual chair on his usual spot, reading his morning paper and drinking coffee as usual. He'd already dined the table for three, and put out an abnormally large amount of bread, probably in my honour. He didn't look up when I entered.

"Hi Jacob," he mumbled as I sat down beside him, his nose barely an inch from the paper.

He didn't ask if we'd slept well this time, only passed the bread in silence.

"What are you up for today?" he asked instead. This time he sent me a quick look, and I noticed the interest behind the relaxed tone. No biggie. He was just being head of police. _So civilians. Doing anything illegal today?_

"Nah," I dragged, and helped myself to some coffee. Then I smiled slightly to myself as an idea hit me. "Dunno. Maybe we'll go and see the Cullens."

This got his attention.

"You what?" He said breathlessly, and dropped the paper. When I looked up, he was already staring at me, eyes wide and disbelieving as if he thought he'd heard me wrong.

I shrugged and smiled down in my toast, enjoying his stunned reaction. "Just thought it could be fun. Say hello, you know."  
Charlie looked at me as if I'd gone mad.

"Did you know they're leaving today?" I asked casually, taking a blasé sip of my coffee and looking up at the ceiling. "They're moving. Away. North, I think."

I sneaked a sideways glance over at Charlie. As a wave rolling onto the sand on a beach, I watched as realisation dawned on his face.

And then he sniggered.

"Oh," he said. And then he sniggered again. "They are?"

"Mhm," I said dully.

A huge grin was threatening to break free from his untrained poker face.

"Heh," he coughed.

I swear, we were just about to high five when Bella reappeared in the kitchen.

She cast a look at me and Charlie's poorly disguised conspiracy as she sat down beside me.

"What are you two smiling about?" she frowned, and reached for the cereal.

"Nothing," we both hurried to say, unfortunately at the same time.

Her eyes narrowed.

Charlie coughed again, a real cough this time. "So Bella," he started. "Jacob just told me the Cullens are leaving. Do you know where they are going?"

_Gee. _Bella looked at me for a second, still frowning slightly, before returning her attention to her cereal.

"I haven't asked."

Charlie picked up his newspaper after that, and we consumed the rest of the breakfast in silence. I swear I could glimpse a wide grin on his face every time he turned a page.

Bella and I left the house about half an hour later, walking side by side over to the Rabbit. One final time, maybe ever, we were going to Leech-land. I was nearly looking forward to it. Bella had been very quiet and thoughtful throughout the morning, but she also seemed set and determined somehow. She'd waved goodbye to Charlie, who'd been mumbling something about probably ending up as daycare for my dad later in the day. Dad was still producing excuses at rapid speed, to escape the smoochy area that previously had been our living room.

When I turned to get in the car, I saw Charlie peeking after us behind the curtains in the kitchen. He was wearing a shameless grin, almost a little insane, undoubtedly because of the great news I'd given him this morning. I chuckled a little to myself. I knew the feeling.

We got inside the car, and I put the key in the engine.

"Uhm, Jake?" Bella said quietly, after buckling her seatbelt beside me.

I paused to look at her. "Yeah?"

She looked down in her lap. "I was just wondering … if you, uhm … if you remember …" She paused. "Oh, forget it, it's nothing."

"What, Bella?" I asked, turning towards her, trying to read her face. "What is it?"

"Uhm." She paused to look up at me. "Do you remember what we found when … you know, under the floorboards in my room?"

She said the words quietly, as if speaking of someone dead.

My jaw clenched. If I remembered. "Yeah, I do," I said, a little to stern to pass as casual. Photo and cd. Love treasures. Had made her break down completely. Asshole. Why on earth was she asking about that?

"Uhm," Bella said again, looking down at her hands in her lap. "I was just wondering if you still have them. I was thinking about giving them back."

_Oh. _Right. I remembered that day, when I'd come over only to find her in a heap on the floor. She'd been so upset and out of it I'd just removed the things from her to deal with later. I think I might have put them in my closet or something – I remembered the stench.

"Sure," I said simply. What she wanted to do with them was up to her to decide.

I got the car running, and then turned the car in the direction of La Push first. We didn't speak, we just sat in silence. It was almost as if there was something ceremoniously over it all. We reached the house, went inside. I greeted my dad briefly, not even taking the time to marvel that the house was sister-wooing-free, for once.

Without stopping to pause, Bella followed me straight into my room, and I opened the closet. A vague, sweet stench rushed passed me, and there – behind a rack of clean clothes and a few old, tattered comics, were the Items. Cd, photo. I'd nearly forgotten they were there. I reached for them, and lifted them down from the shelf. Without a word, I handed them over to Bella. Our eyes met for a second, and then we walked silently back outside.

As we drove back, Bella held the two items carefully placed in her lap. She was looking out the window, and there was a comfortable silence. I used the drive to think about what was just about to happen.

They were leaving.

They were leaving, they were leaving, they were leaving. Finally, they were leaving. And Bella? Bella would stay here with me. It was finally starting to sink it. I had great problems not to look too happy. Just one more visit, saying goodbye, and that was it.

Saying goodbye. What a strange setting this was going to be. Farewell, cheerio, adios, rest in peace. See you later, alligator. I wondered which one would suit best for me to utter in this situation.

Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut.

When we'd driven down the thin road winding towards their house, they were already there. The scent was getting stronger as we approached, and it was still nowhere near pleasant, but I'd learnt to survive in it for a little while. They seemed to be talking, someone walking in and out of the house, someone laughing, someone thinking and bringing things in and out of the enviously large garage.

They were packing.

Edward, sharpfaced and brooding like ever, was sitting on the porch stairs looking at us when we arrived. When I'd parked the car, he stood up and came to greet us.

"Bella," he said, looking at her before moving his eyes to me. "Jacob."

I nodded._ Edward._

"Hi," Bella said, sending him a tiny smile. As she stepped out of the car, his eyes flashed to the items in her hands.

Bella noticed his gaze. "Oh," she said. "Uhm. I found these in my room. I – I thought you might want them back."

The look he sent her next was so deep and old it would have knocked me off my feet, had he been looking at me. Again, I realized how much older than me he actually was.

"No," he said softly, placing his hand over hers on top of the cd. "It was a gift. Keep it", he insisted. "Please".

Bella seemed speechless for a second, and opened her mouth but then closed it without making a sound. Edward smiled warmly at her, and took the opportunity to take the items out of her hands and place them back in the car seat. He did it all too fast for her to object. Then he closed the door and turned towards us. He looked for a second like he'd forgotten himself and was about to take Bella's hand, but then remembered and stuffed his hands in his pocket instead. He looked at me, and nodded his head backwards towards the others.

"Come on," he said, with a smile. "They're waiting."

And so we walked off towards the rest, me strolling a little behind. I tried my best to keep my expression smooth and not wrinkle my nose too vividly. _It's the last day. You can do it. _They all hugged and greeted Bella, and most of them sent me polite and pleasant nods while trying not to wrinkle _their_ noses while I was looking. Blondie certainly didn't send me any polite anything, only wrinkled her face in disgust and put her nose up as if my scent had personally offended her. I made sure to make a few airy movements in her direction, just because I could. She looked like she was going to vomit, and I sniggered to myself. The Douche rolled his eyes at us, but said nothing.

The Doctor and the Wife were talking to Bella, reassuring her that moving was exciting and that they had found a great place where the Doctor could get a great job and their lives would be just fantastic except they would miss her so much. The Douche was standing silently beside Bella, looking at her and listening to their conversation. My guess was he wanted to preserve the last moments he had with her. I could understand that.

Mr. Muscle was looking at me. He seemed to be measuring his muscles with mine, as if trying to find out who of us would win in a fight. No doubt he thought he would beat me, according to the curious, broad grin on his face, and my guesses were he was of the confident sort. He kept bulging his arms slightly and then looking curiously over at me, as if he just couldn't wait to run over, tackle me to the ground, bite my leg like a dog and ask if I wanted to play. Barbie was standing beside him, her nose still searching for the absent sun and keeping her arms crossed tightly in front of her expensive designer clothes.

"D'you play baseball?" the bulky one suddenly asked me. His whole expression was a mix of curiosity and something playful and testing.

Blondie's nose turned slightly higher up beside him.

"Uhm," I shrugged. "I have, at school and stuff. But not much."

He nodded thoughtfully. "If you didn't smell so bad, we could've tried a _real _match once. You run fast?" He grinned, and added. "I mean, when you're not a pet? Or you could just catch it with your mouth or something, maybe?"

I pursed my lips and lifted my chin slightly. "I wouldn't worry about that, if I were you."

_Translation; I'd beat you anytime._

His grin widened double size, flashing his white teeth like a toothpaste commercial. "I could take you up on that, you know."

I grinned back, and ignored the foul-tasting air in my mouth. "No one's stopping you."

The conversation was interrupted by the arrival of the pixie and Mr. Creepy who was lurking behind her. One second they weren't there, and the next second _boom _they were. I felt myself tense, watching Mister Creeps.

"Bella!" the psychic grinned and threw herself around Bellas neck, kissing her cheek and nearly giving me a heart attack in the process. "I'm going to miss you so much. You have to write to me every day!"

With this, the real goodbye-session began. They all started hugging and reassuring each other, and even Blondie took her nose back down to pay attention and offer Bella a quick smile. I stood back a little, letting Bella have her moment. I'd never get used to her getting lifted and kissed and hugged by a bunch of leeches, but this wasn't a first to put it like that.

All in all, it was a surprisingly quick affair. Or maybe it just seemed that way – the time wasn't my main priority at the moment. In the end, Bella stepped a little away from the crowd, speaking to Edward alone. I gave her the privacy, and the others returned to their packing and fluttering. Meanwhile, I watched the psychic.

She was standing in the middle of the yard, clenching her eyes shut in deep concentration, and I couldn't help but getting a little fascinated. She was like the super-version of my dad, if you looked at it from the being-psychic point of view. I watched her for a little while, as she stood there motionless squeezing her eyes shut. Maybe she was having a vision or something right now. Or maybe I was pissing her off and she was counting to ten inside her head. Curiosity itched my tongue.

"What are you doing?" I asked, despite myself.

Not even an eyelash quivered in her face. She didn't make any sign she'd heard me at all, just kept standing still and looking kind of constipated.

"You're blocking her," someone said close behind me.

I twirled around, heart in my throat, only to discover the moody one. For a second I was seriously alarmed I hadn't even noticed he was standing right behind me. What was wrong with me? Was I getting used to them? _Man._

Moody only shrugged at the sound of my raging, unappetizing heartbeats. "Didn't mean to startle you," he said. Then he looked over at the psychic with a utterly heart-pouring look - obviously I wasn't able to hold his interest for long. Suited me just fine. _Brr. _That guy seriously gave me the creeps.

His lip curled slightly, and he glanced at me as he felt what I felt. _Ughm. Creeps._

Taking a step to the side so that I wouldn't be exposing my back to anything but harmless trees, I looked over at the psychic again. She was still in deep concentration, as if completely unaware of her surroundings. And then, suddenly she opened her eyes wide.

"Oh!" she said, and then she darted back into the house at the speed of light.

I raised my eyebrows, looking after her in puzzlement.

"She's been doing that all day," Mr. Moody said beside me, looking after her with his eyes affectionate and a slight smile on his sharp face. "It means someone has forgotten something."

And then he started walking down towards the house after her without another look at me, and by the time I'd blinked he was already on the third floor.

_Jeez. _How Bella hadn't gone crazy being around these people was beyond me.

I looked over at Bella and Edward, sitting on the porch in front of the house. If I wanted, I could probably strain my ears and hear what they were saying. But I didn't. I tried my best not to pay attention to them at all. Bella should be able to talk to him without me listening in, and saying goodbye in their own way. And I probably wouldn't want to hear it anyway.

It seemed like in a daze, when after a while Bella returned from the porch where she had been speaking with Edward. He followed close beside her, and his expression was best described as, believe it or not, peaceful. He sent me a quick nod, as Bella walked over to my side to put her hand in mine.

"We can leave now," she said simply. I noticed she had tears in her eyes that had yet to spill. I rubbed my thumb over the back of her hand, but said nothing.

As if they had all heard what she'd said – in fact they _had _all heard what she'd said – everyone gathered where we were standing in the middle of the lawn.

"I guess this is goodbye, then," said Mr. Fang gently.

They looked sad. As sad as you can be when set in stone.

Bella looked around at them all, and seemed unable to find anything to say.

The psychic smiled at her. "I don't know when I'll be seeing you next time." She cast a quick look in my direction. "Your future is all gone to me."

The thought made me smile.

Bella hugged everyone apart from Edward, who was standing by her other side. I didn't hug any of them, though I'd like to see the look on Blondie's face if I'd started walking towards her with open arms and a sad smile. She'd rip my head off first and ask questions later. But I did shake hands with the Doctor and his wife (_cold)_ and made a sort-of-in-a-way nod towards the rest which they returned sort-of-in-a-way. Some of them grinned, the bulky one for instance.

I looked over at Edward, and he took a step towards me.

"Take care of her," he said simply. He reached me his hand, and I shook it. The ice burned against my skin all the way to my bones and I knew he felt the same way, but neither of us winced.

"Sure sure," I said.

The fraction of a smile crossed his face, and for a short second our eyes met. Then we simultaneously released each others hands and both took a step away.

I stuffed my hands in my pockets.

Bella turned to Edward, and when she spoke her voice was quivering slightly.

"Uhm," she said, looking down at her hands. "I don't really know what more to say."

He smiled down at her, genuine and affectionate.

"You don't have to say anything," he reassured her. He leaned down and hugged her one final time, and she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him back. Strangely I didn't mind too much. I'd have her all to myself soon enough.

"Thank you," I heard him whisper into her hair.

Bella's breath hitched a little.

"I'm just ..." she whispered, her voice breaking more often now as she struggled to find the right words but couldn't find them. "Sorry, I'm … We're … It's just not ... It's just ..."

"I know," he said.

He pulled back to look at her, and stroke one hand down her hair.

"Just be happy," he said simply.

She smiled, spite her tears.

"You too."

They looked at each other for a few moments as the world stood still, and then they both stepped apart. Bella returned to my side, and we both turned to walk back over to the Rabbit.

She clutched my hand tightly.

When we reached the car, she turned one final time. They all stood there, silently, watching us as we watched them. The only face I noticed was Edwards; he was looking at Bella with warm eyes and a little, melancholic smile. Bella shivered a little beside me, and I wrapped one arm around her tiny shoulders. She leaned a little against my side. Then, with a last, long look at Edward, she pushed away and opened the passenger door to the Rabbit. She got inside, and I followed.

With the door open in my hand I turned to look at Edward one final time.

_Bye, _I thought. And then, just because it honestly felt right, I added; _thanks. _

Our eyes met briefly, before he returned his look to Bella. I knew he'd heard.

I got inside and started the engine with no further hesitation. The car started rolling down the road the same way we'd arrived. There was a bend, and then the house was gone.

They were gone.

I didn't feel the immediate surge of extreme joy as I'd expected I would. I felt only numb as if I was having some sort of out-of-body experience. Maybe I did. The only feeling I could recall, apart from the numbness, was relief. Slow and uncertain at the moment, building gradually upwards, but unmistakably there.

I looked over at Bella. She wasn't crying anymore, only looking blankly out of the window as if not seeing the world passing by outside. I knew this was hard for her, but I also knew she was sure about her choice. She didn't speak, so we drove in silence.

We reached the driveway to Bella's house. It was already in the middle of the afternoon, the rainy clouds low and heavy on the grey sky. I could vaguely hear the sounds of Charlie and dad inside - dad had probably just escaped from the love-terror that originally was home. I parked the car by the side of the road, and turned to Bella. She was still looking blankly down in front of her, seemingly deep in thought. Her cheeks were dry.

"Are you okay?" I finally asked, hesitant.

My voice seemed loud in the other so quiet street. She looked up at me, her expression mixed.

"Yeah," she said after a while. "I will be."

I frowned. "You sure? You don't regret it or anything?"

Her eyes met mine. "No."

I didn't know what to say, so I grabbed her hand instead. She squeezed back, and a tiny smile flashed over her face.

"I'm fine, Jacob," she said, still smiling that smile, and this time she meant it.

I rubbed my thumb in circles over the back of her hand, and we both sat silently, just watching the street outside. Out of the blue, I remembered what I'd told her once before, one time on the couch back in our living room. It seemed like ages ago, back when Bella and I were barely more than friends. So much had happened since them, so many things had changed, and yet those words I'd said were still so much true.

"I want to be with you" I said, just as I'd said back then. Last time I'd said it, Bella had misunderstood and only thought I liked to hang out. When I looked at her now, a smile stretched over her face. Maybe she remembered, or maybe the words just made her happy. It was a serious smile, but a happy one none the less. She leaned over in her seat, and pressed her lips to mine.

"You are with me, Jacob" she whispered when she pulled back slightly, giving the exact same answer as she had before. Only this time, it meant something else. She understood this time.

I don't know how long we stayed in the car, parked outside her house. The clouds outside were getting darker and coming closer, but there was no rain. After what must be several long minutes, Bella unbuckled her seatbelt.

"I should go inside," she sighed. She picked up the two items from the dashboard, two items she had been careful to avoid eye-contact with the whole time we'd been sitting here. When she looked down at the cd and photo in her hands, her eyes became slightly thoughtful again. She turned to me. "Is it -" She paused. "Is it okay if you don't come in tonight?" She looked at me carefully, as if expecting me to get upset or hurt. I only looked at her, waiting for her to explain. "I just don't feel like I would be great company right now," she muttered, glancing back at the items in her hand. "It's not that I don't want to hang out with you, I just need to be alone. Just sort through my head."

I smiled, and tilted her head back up with one finger under her chin.

"You're never bad company," I assured her. "But sure, if that's what you want. Can I see you tomorrow?"

She smiled. "Please."

I feigned a sigh. "Not that you really have a choice. You have to see me tomorrow. Or you'll be responsible for me going insane by Rachel and Paul, and I know you don't want that on your conscience."

She grinned at me. "Looks like I have no choice." She leaned over to kiss me again, a little longer this time, lingering by my lips. I stroke my palm gently down her cheek, and she sighed. "Love you," she whispered, and my heart did a somersault. Then she leaned back, flashed me another smile, opened the door and went out.

I drove back towards La Push, testing this whole new feeling of relief that bubbled up inside me. It was stronger now, but I still don't think it had really dawned on me yet, everything that had happened. _Maybe tomorrow,_ I thought to myself. _Maybe I'll realize tomorrow. When I can hang out with Bella and we can be just us. Maybe then I'll realize. _

Because they really had left.

I reached home and parked the car in the garage, but then changed my mind quickly as I approached the house and heard Rachel's loud laughter from inside. _Ughm. _Paul was there. So I turned on the spot, and started walking towards the beach instead. I reached the shore, and walked along the crashing waves until I reached the familiar driftwood where Bella and I used to sit. It must be ages since I was here on my own.

I didn't sit down on the driftwood, but instead I laid down in the sand beside it. I looked up at the cloudy, grey sky, and waited for some sort of realisation to hit me. They were gone. They had left. Bella was safe. She'd chosen me. I'd see her tomorrow. We were cool. No more Douche.

No realisation came, though.

I halfway expected Quil and Embry to jump out from the nearest bush, wearing party hats and yelling '_April fool!,_ before telling me this was all just a humongous practical joke and that the Cullen was marrying Bella and they were having a freaky mutant kid and that we would all become great friends, and everyone would suddenly turn up right here like in a bad surprise party, then they would bring out champagne and they would all toast because of the excellent practical joke they had performed on me. But no one jumped out from any bush.

I was still on the beach watching the sky as numerous bonfires lit up all over La Push later that night.

* * *

_A.N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, also you who I can't reply to in person. If you want some spoilers for next chapter, you better hurry - there's only one chapter and one epilogue to go;) _


	39. Deep, dark

**Deep, dark**

* * *

So, life moves on. It's a weird phrase, really, as life never stopped moving. Life has been moving all the time; that's the characterization of life. 'Life moves further', or 'Life continues', would be a much better description. It's not like life has been on a break, and now suddenly it starts running again. _Hello, life, it's me. I'd like to start up again, please. This line right here isn't moving at the moment, so some action would be great, thanks. _Life doesn't stop, not even for leeches does it stop. But even if the phrase 'life moves on' perhaps isn't very accurate, it still pretty well describes how I felt.

The day after we'd said goodbye to the Cullens – which by the way still was a little surreal, and I was still half expecting Edward to turn up and press his nose flat against the kitchen window – Bella drove over to La Push in the middle of the day just as she'd said she would.

If the night apart had been for her to get some distance and more of an overview of things, that overview was turning minuscule pretty fast, and the distance completely nonexistent. When I went outside to greet her after she'd parked her truck, she threw herself around my neck and stayed there. Long. And when she leaned back, arms still clenched suffocatingly around my neck, she kissed me so long and deep _I _was the one who had to break apart not to loose completely control of every body part below my neck. And when I did pull back, she only grinned, wide, and hugged me again as if she hadn't seen me for a whole year.

Right there I decided that whenever Bella needed to think things over, that was a good thing.

"I love you," she mumbled against my neck. "I love you I love you I love you."

My heart did a backflip for every word.

"Gee, Bells," I laughed. "It's not like I'm gonna disappear or anything."

I said it lightly, but when she pulled back to look at me I knew she could see how wordlessly happy I was. She grinned right back at me, and we just stood there grinning to each other like two complete morons. I decided the Cullens leaving town was a fantastic idea, if it made Bella this happy.

Our reunion was ruined, however, by Quil or Embry - I don't know which one - throwing a screwdriver at the back of my head.

"Hey!" I yelled, twirling around and looking for the source of the pain. When I caught eye of the two of them, they both crouched together in hysterical laughter. "What the hell?"

I held one arm out to shield Bella in case they decided throwing more things at us, while rubbing the back of my head with the other. My two so called best friends were both standing by the forest edge, grinning annoyingly wide and slapping their thighs as they gasped for air and seemed to be having the laughter kick of their lives. Quil wheezed out something about _should have seen your face, _and Embry only shook his head and looked like a lunatic on too much sugar.

Bella nudged my hand and crept closer under my arm to stand beside me. I looked down at her and pulled her a little closer. Forgetting my former best friends completely, I turned towards her, sneaking both hands around her waist. She smiled, and stroked one hand up my back, fiddling a little with the hem of my t-shirt. I'd already forgotten that my head was supposed to hurt. I felt great, I always had, right?

"That," Embry said, straightening up and seeming to come back from his sugar-high as they started to walk towards us. "Is a sign you need to pay more attention."

Quil was still wheezing about how he wished he'd had a video camera to catch my expression on tape.

"Seriously," Embry grinned. "We could've been marching around her playing the tuba and you wouldn't even notice. And you know Quil isn't a very smooth tubaist."

This emanated another fit of laughter from Quil, who between outburst managed to squeeze out "How d'you know? I've never tried."

"Ha ha," I said darkly, even though my mood was far from dark as Bella kept fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. "Great, guys. Really funny. What's up?"

Embry shrugged while Quil still was trying to catch his breath. "Nah. Nothing. Just thought we could hang out." He cast a look at Bella. "Unless you two want to be _alone _or something."

There was a significant moment of silence until Quil started wheezing again.

"Nice, Embry. Could you be more subtle?" Bella blurted. She rolled her eyes at him, smiling. I noticed a slight red color tint her cheeks.

He looked at her, seeming amused by her answer. Then he grinned. "Guess that's a no, then, Jake." He flashed me a smile, showing off about every one of his teeth.

I rolled my eyes and aimed a kick at a his shin, which he dodged, and Bella started laughing.

"You guys are so lame," she snorted, and then she looked up at the sky. "And it's going to rain."

She was right. The smell of rain was heavy in the thick air, and small drops of water was already prickling my skin. It would start for real soon, I could feel it.

"Come on," I said, putting my arm around Bella's shoulders and started walking in the direction of the garage. "Let's get inside before it starts for real."

By the time we'd reached the garage, the rain had started to really pour down. Inside, Embry slung himself down in one of the ruined camping chairs standing in a corner, while Quil started rummaging around in the tool box I'd left open in the middle of the floor. I got a strange feeling of deja vu, while in fact this _had _happened before. This was what we always did, or had been doing, a long time ago. Just hanging out. _Long time no see. _

Bella too, seemed as if this was usual passing of time and something we always did. She walked absentmindedly over to the old moldy couch in the corner, flipping her shoes off and pulling her legs up beside her. I followed, sitting down beside her on the couch. She leaned into my side, and exchanged a few words with Embry when he started laughing about making a permanent, screwdriver-shaped dent in the back of my head.

"Hey, Bella." The words came from Quil's direction, who had his head buried down in the tool box. "You doing okay?"

"Huh?" Bella said, looking a little bewildered.

Quil cast her a quick look before looking back down. His expression was controlled as he picked up a part from the box, his eyebrows raising in a matter-of-fact way. He shrugged.

"You know, with the Cullens leaving town and all."

Quil never really saw the need for sugarcoating.

Bella watched him for a second while he pretended not to notice. Then she smiled.

"Yeah," she finally said. "I'm fine."

"Cool," he replied, without looking up. "Hey, Embry, look at this..."

I turned towards Bella, who was still looking slightly amused but content nonetheless. I smiled at her, and she smiled back. I never was that much fan of sugarcoating myself.

It seemed so weird, and yet so normal. I couldn't remember last time we'd just been hanging out like this. It had been pre-werewolf time, pre-Bella time. It made me strangely nostalgic in a way, and I was having vivid flashbacks from other days, other times. I looked over at Quil and Embry, who were examining random pieces and tools, throwing them back and forth and making plans to build something from scratch. Before, we'd either alter between hanging out here or playing computer games over at Embry's. Now, it was suddenly back to the same old days. Though perhaps not _exactly _the same – somehow, playing _Deer Hunter_ on Embry's old computer just didn't seem that appealing anymore.

And also, Bella was here now. I looked down at her. She was resting against my side, now laughing at Embry and Quil trying to balance objects on their noses. They both liked hanging out with her, I knew that, and they seemed only to get their ego boosted wildly that someone other than me actually thought they were funny.

We hung out in the garage until it stopped raining. And then, to my great relief, Leah dropped by later in the evening to hang out with Rachel. This of course, meant that Rach and Paul were cut off from their smoochy woochy. I had been dreading to go inside; Paul and Rachel were there, dad was out - we all knew what that meant. But Leah didn't offer that any second thought at all; she just loudly declared her presence before determinedly marching in, and gradually the rest of us followed.

Quil and Embry didn't stay very long, just long enough to finish two whole pizzas and drinking all the soda, and then Paul joined them on their way out after eating the last chips bag. I was left with all three girls in the living room, hungry, but thankful. For the first time in a little over a week I could be home without a desperate wish to cut my ears off.

"How's the not-phasing project going?" I asked Leah, feet on the table and Bella sitting next to me in the couch.

Leah mashed her teeth together. "Fine. But if you think you can do it, so can I."

She had already found out about my plan - to stop phasing some time in the future when things calmed down. She'd been thrilled, but never admitted it of course. But I knew her, and the careless shrug she'd given when she'd found out was no more than Leah's way to express subdued excitement. She was happy like a little school girl that she wasn't alone in this. But of course, she was way too cool to admit it, even to me.

As we sat in the living room, I quickly found that Rach and Leah weren't the only ones who were friends. To my great suspicion, I noticed Leah and Bella were talking together. And laughing. Yes, let me repeat that for you. Leah and Bella were talking together. And laughing. Over completely normal and decrypted things. Like if they were friends. Leah. Bella. Friends.

The first thing I noticed was the smiles. They kept grinning to each other. First, I thought Leah was sneering to Bella or something, but no, just a smile. And when Bella knocked over her glass of water with her hand and nearly soaked Leah's jeans, Leah caught it quickly and laughed about Bella being clumsy. _Laughed. _And Bella joked about Leah's reflexes and Leah joked back, and they smiled and grinned and laughed. I even think I heard a giggle somewhere in there. I narrowed my eyes at them.

This had something to do with that thing Bella didn't want to tell me about. This new bond, this sudden friendship, had something to do with what they had been speaking about in the forest, those days ago. I was practically aching to know what it was, and something deep down told me it was about _me. _Which was a completely horrifying prospect, since I had no idea what Leah had been saying. I didn't even know what Leah _knew_. Not that I had anything to hide, exactly, but come on. Some things just aren't meant to be told.

If Bella noticed that I was eyeing the two of them throughout the evening, she pretended like nothing. Not until I cornered her in the kitchen, did she confirm my suspicions.

"When did you and Leah become best buddies, huh?" I asked her, arching an eyebrow and blocking her escape route back into the living room. She had just gone to refill her glass of water, but she was not getting back until she'd told me what this was all about. She was so going to spill.

"Leah is nice," was all she said, before twitching her lips up in that secretive smile that told me she _knew _something. It sure was annoying as hell. Then she stretched up on her toes to kiss be briefly, before ducking under my arm and fleeing back into the living room.

"_What did you two talk about in the forest?" _I whispered after her, frowning with suspicion and frustration, but she only sent me a smile over her shoulder and didn't answer.

She was obviously not going to spill anything.

When I returned to the living room, Leah was busy explaining to Rachel about the elders' objections against me and Bella being together.

"Oh, so _that's _why dad has been laying off the phone for the last month!" she exclaimed, as I sat back down on the couch next to Bells. "There were a few days I tried to call and it was impossible to get through even though I _knew _he was home." She turned to Bella. "Really, you shouldn't think twice about it, they're just old, senile and petrified of anyone paler than a beaver."

She was absolutely right of course, but it was still difficult not to think about. It still bothered me that someone so close to home could be that thickheaded, and worse, against _Bells. _My Bells, who wouldn't be able to hurt anyone but herself (though she did that frequently enough).

But since that day I'd bumped into one of them at the store, profoundly convinced him Bella and I was going to get married and probably caused hellofa lot of trouble and my dad to get permanently phone-terrorized, I hadn't heard anything new. No urgent 'Save Jacob Black from the Nasty White Girl!'-meeting, no grave visit by a bunch of tall men late at night, no being abducted with a paper bag over the head. No nothing.

I knew dad was probably hearing it though, but if he was, he was profoundly hiding it from me. As I wasn't of age yet, dad was seen as in charge of me, and therefore he was the one they would have to break if anything was supposed to happen. Thankfully, dad only blew the whole thing off, ignored the shrilling phone calls and thought it was all ridiculous. I was kind of glad he didn't tell me about it if he heard anything new on the subject, because if he did I wouldn't be able to think about anything else. I think he knew that, and so he didn't say anything.

I vowed to myself that the next time I bumped into one of the elders at the store, I'd grab Bella and make out with her until one of them got a stroke.

The rest of the evening passed quickly, and I reeled in my Paul-free living room. Dad came home eventually; he'd been over at Sue's along with Charlie. Leah left soon after that, and when Bells started making signs to leave too, I followed her back to her place. And true, Charlie was already home, sitting in front of the TV with his feet in the sofa watching recaps.

I was just about to lean down to kiss Bella goodnight and start heading home, when she whispered into my ear; "Wait a minute". She disappeared into the living room, and reappeared soon after red in the face like a tomato, muttering under her breath that I could stay. I had great problems not suffocating by my own laughter – I was pretty sure Charlie was sitting in the next room equally red-faced and hotheaded. But I wasn't one to risk spoiling an invitation like that, so I followed her soundlessly up the stairs without as much as a cough. I sniggered a bit to myself though, when she didn't see.

Bella disappeared into the bathroom, and I laid down on her bed, watching the white ceiling. I think sometime during the day my out of body experience was somehow becoming in body, but I wasn't sure when or how. It felt great, though. I admit, I had several times imagined how it must feel like when all was like this – normal. I had dreamed of this, once, how it would be with all vampires gone, and Bella all to myself. To have Bella for my own, not sharing, not afraid she was on the edge of running off. It had taken blood, sweat and tears to get here (what in Edward's case could only have been venom, venom and venom). I wondered how Bella felt about it all. She reappeared after a while, and went around the room fluttering around for a little while. Finally, she turned to me, smiled and went to lay down beside me.

We didn't speak. We both lay side by side, watching the ceiling. I didn't know what to say, and maybe words weren't necessary. Besides, how to put it? How best to describe what I wanted to ask her? No matter how I put it, it seemed wrong. I wanted to know how she was, what she thought of today, the first Cullen-free douche-less day, and if she'd had a nice time too, spite everything. I wanted to know if she had thought about him, if she still was, and if she regretted him going, if it felt weird. But I didn't ask any of those questions, because I simply didn't know how to phrase them and also they would seriously make me sound like a girl.

I turned my head to look at her. She was studying my face, and I smiled. She smiled back. Nothing else was needed. Then, so effortlessly and easy, she put words on all those feelings I'd tried so hard to find.

"I want every day to be like this," she said simply. Her voice was quiet, and when she turned to look back up into the ceiling, she had a kind, dreamy look upon her face.

"Me too," I agreed, turning around on my side to face her. I rested my head on one arm, smiling to myself as a thought struck me and I remembered something. "Apart from one thing."

"What?" She looked at me, a quizzical look on her face.

"I would like to know what you and Leah talked about," I stated, making her blurt out in amused laughter. I grinned, watching her. "It's only fair that you let me know that one thing, if every day is going to be like today. Or else I'd go insane."

"I'm not telling!" she whispered between blurts of laughter, as if she already knew what was coming.

I poked her in the side and she gasped out again, laughing.

"Shush," I told her, still grinning. "Or Charlie's going to hear you, and he'd be thinking we're doing something completely different."

Bella's eyes turned wide, and she smacked her hand over her mouth to stifle her gasps. I poked her in the side again, on a particularly ticklish spot I was very acquainted with, and she blurted out in laughter once more.

"Shush," I reminded her again, knowing very well I wasn't helping much. I poked her in the side, and she tried to hit my hand away, but missed miserably. "Just tell me what you talked about and I'll stop."

Bella shook her head, her hand still clasped over her mouth.

I put all caution aside and launched myself over her. She tried her best to keep me away and not make a sound, but she didn't succeed much. At all, really. Her laughter filled the room, only cut off by giggle-like sobs, and I didn't stop poking her sides until I heard what I wanted to hear.

"Okay, okay!" she gasped out, tears in her eyes from laughing so much. "Okay, I'll tell you, just stop!"

_Score. _I did, hands still hovering threateningly close to her stomach. She pushed herself up a little, drew a shaky breath, looked at me for a second as if trying to see if she could wiggle away but realized she couldn't. "Okay, okay," she said again, breath still uneven. She put a hand over her forehead, wiping the hair away from her face and trying to get back in control of her breaths. She closed her eyes.

"Leah told me I was being a donkey."

I pulled back in surprise. _That _wasn't what I'd been expecting. That wasn't even one of the alternatives. Bella peeked at me through closed eyes before closing them again as she continued to speak. "She said that if I got mad at you because of what happened, you know, the whole Rachel-Paul thing, I was being a donkey because that wasn't your fault. At all. And she told me I had every reason to get upset and all the more reason to worry about imprinting, but that it still wasn't your fault since that wasn't about us at all. And then she said that you weren't like Sam, or Paul, you were different. And that if you'll ever end up imprinting on someone after all, after all you and I have been through, she said she'll help me hunt you down and – I'm quoting – 'feed your roasted nuts to the ducks.'"

I had just been about to swallow when she said that last part, and ended up halfway choking on my tongue instead. Bella didn't pause though. She moved her hand over her face as if embarrassed and only continued while hiding beneath her hand. The next words tumbled out of her mouth at surprising speed.

"And then she said that I had no reason not to trust you or be unsure of you, because she knew all your deepest secrets and she knew I had nothing to worry about. And I asked her what she meant by that, and she said -"

Bella paused, and peeked at me.

"What?" I exclaimed, a slow feeling of petrification building up inside me. This was worse than I'd even imagined. "What did she say?"

Bella hid again, and rushed it all out in one breath. "She said that all the while she'd been inside your head, she had almost gone crazy because you had been – quote – 'a moping mosquito chanting _bellabellabella_ on repeat'. She meant that this was proof enough that you mean serious business, and then she provided some examples just to, I dunno, prove it was true..."

Bella peeked at me, and I stared back, feeling the heat in my cheeks. "What examples?" I prompted, when she didn't continue. When she spoke, the words came out in a hurry.

"She said that you've never been more afraid of anything than when you thought you were going to lose me, and that you're still afraid I'll stop wanting you, and that you don't know what to do if that happens. And she said that when you pretend to be all cocky and smart you're not really, because really you're worried I don't think you're good enough – like, in several ways, you know, in _bed_ for example. And that you want to give me black, lacy underwear but don't dare. And that you like the Rabbit so much partly because that reminds you of _me, _and that you've had – quote - 'wet, disturbing dreams' of me in that car. And she said that you've been in love with me since you were, like, twelve or something, because you used to look at the school photos of me in the living room whenever Billy visited Charlie, and that you've sort of promised yourself to don't be a git and throw this all away and that's how she knows you really mean it. And that your first kiss was with Trudy in third grade because she had brown hair just as I had and you thought I was pretty but was too shy to say so. And that you would be horrified if I told you this because you would be afraid I thought you sounded like a wuss."

This flow of words stopped as quickly as it had begun, and the room got blissfully quiet. I felt my ears redden in embarrassment. Bella peeked at me from under her hand and we stared at each other for a second.

"Murder me, please," I groaned, and let my head fall down on the pillow. "She told you _that?"_

It was my turn to hide my face from the world this time, letting my arm fall over my face. Bella giggled in a very unbellaish way. I'd bet _anything _she was smiling that smile again. "She made me sound like Mr. Mush," I complained.

Bella was being suspiciously quiet.

"I'm not!" I defended myself, yanking my head up to glare at her. She wasn't just smiling, oh no, she'd started grinning. Big time.

"You came to visit Charlie to look at pictures of me," she grinned, poking me in the side with her finger.

"Hey, when you say it like that it sounds super creepy-" I tried.

"You thought I was pretty in third grade." She grinned down at me, easily ignoring my weak defense.

"But that's obvious, it's not like you were ugly-"

"You _love _me."

I moaned and let my head fall back on the bed, arm over my face. She'd never let me forget this.

I could hear Bella struggling not to laugh at me. After a while though, her sniggering stilled. One hand touched my arm, trying to pry it away from my face. I didn't move, only clenched my eyes shut. No way I was emerging from this deep, dark hole. She'd just been ravaging in my deep, dark secrets. Deep, dark armpit to hide face in suited me just fine.

"Come on," she muttered, the laughter still evident in her voice. "Look up."

She tried again, but with no success. I kept my eyes shut and face hidden. She was still laughing, I knew it, even if I couldn't hear it. No way I was facing her sniggers. She'd have to wait until it grew moss on us both.

"Okay," Bella finally said, mostly to herself. There was some muffling and struggling with fabric.

I strained my ears a little extra. What was she doing? No way I was going to peek though. I heard something fall to the floor, and then Bella's voice; "I'm taking my clothes of, if you're wondering."

I opened one eye to peek at her.

True, she was sitting in bed beside me, her t-shirt on the floor. She was wearing a blue cotton-or-something bra, and was very suddenly very naked and I liked it. I removed my arm from my face and opened both eyes completely. She smiled at me. I pushed myself up to rest on my elbows, feeling a smile start to form on my lips ...

Bella faked a heavy sigh and looked down at herself while trying to keep a straight face. "I know it's not exactly black, lacy underwear, but-"

I immediately dropped back down on the bed, hands over my face while giving another loud groan. Not loudly enough to cover up Bella's laughter though, as she rolled over in the bed while clutching her stomach. _Of course. Peachy. Hilarious. Very funny. Ha-ha. _

I waited it out while she laughed (hey, what else could I do? Making yourself produce moss takes time). When her laughter finally ended, I dared to peek at her between two fingers. I could still feel my cheeks grow hot, but it had been worse. When I finally found her gaze, she was looking at me kindly. She lifted one hand to remove my hands from my face, and placed them on the mattress between us. She reached over to kiss my cheek and I suddenly felt a little hot headed but by completely different reasons than before.

"I'll stop now," she promised. I looked over at her, as she was laying beside me - half naked, just to mention. She smiled, and I smiled back, unable to sneak a not-very-sneaky look down her front and everything felt a little better. She leaned over to kiss my cheek again, resting her head a little closer to mine when she laid down.

We lay in silence for a few moments.

"Poor Trudy from third grade," Bella whispered, and I hurled around to throw my pillow at her, but unable to stop her outburst of laughter.

She'd never let me forget about this.

* * *

_A.N: Thanks to JJ Twi1ight for helping me out with grammar and beta-work. _

_Also, thank you all for awesome reviews. One epilogue to go!_


	40. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

* * *

_-Two years and two months later-_

* * *

"I can't believe you did that to me, Jacob."

"Sorry."

"You really hurt me."

"I didn't mean for it to happen, I swear."

"I'm not sure I can believe that."

"I'm so sorry."

"I just don't know if I can ever forgive you for this..."

"But Bells-"

"You seriously hurt me, Jacob. That's not easy to forget."

"I'm so sorry, Bella, I-"

"You're going to have to prove that you mean that."

"How? What can I do?"

"I don't know. Time, I guess."

"Time?"

"Yes. I just don't know if I can trust you yet. Maybe ever."

"Oh, for the love of God, come _on_ you two!"

Charlie's voice seemed loud in the dull air coming from the open window, spite the fact there were plenty of noises coming form outside. There were honking from horns, and wheeling engines and beeping sounds from traffic lights. And there were people, people talking, buzzing, from somewhere down and out of sight. And then of course, there was Charlie appearing in the doorway and adding his own kind of noise. He had sweat trickling down his other so red forehead, and he was breathing heavily after trying to carry a box twice his size.

"I could use some help, thank you," he said, breathing like a betting horse and putting the heavy box down on the floor next to Bella.

I grinned down to Bella, and she grinned back at me.

"Sorry I smashed your finger," I whispered, ending the dramatic banter she had started. I picked up her hand and kissed her pinky. "Didn't mean to."

"I might forgive you sometime," she said lightly. "When I'm ready. Who knows."

We heard a huge sigh coming from the hallway, where Charlie had just disappeared to go and carry up more boxes. I grinned and leaned down to kiss Bella quickly and then hurried after him before he'd loose his temper completely.

We were moving. In. Together. Finally. Bells and me. To the big city. Seattle was big, unusual, exciting and positively scary, but not impossible. Thanks to a colleague of Charlie, who had a friend who had a friend, or something along those lines, we'd been able to find this place. It was a tiny little two room, enough to sleep and eat in and be alone in. It was perfect. Not because of the place really, but because of the person I would be staying here with.

It had been two and a half years now. Things were different, but also the same as always. I was just as crazy about her as I had always been. We'd been sticking to each other just like those annoying couples who never seem to get a scratch but just stays and stays and stays. Apart from two weeks, two terrible weeks in her first year at college, when we'd had a huge argument about something I couldn't even remember, split up and not spoken to each other for two weeks because we both were too stubborn to make the first move. But we'd sorted it out, and after that, we'd never been better.

We continued to carry up the last boxes from the car down by the road. On the last trip downstairs I joined dad back in the elevator – he had been waiting downstairs while we carried it all, insisting that he needed to look after the car 'in case the bloody thing got stolen'. When both dad, Charlie and myself had managed to cram our way inside the apartment along with Bella and the bunch of boxes, I wondered how we'd ever make it all fit.

"Don't worry," Bella said bravely, unwrapping plates from a box on the floor and putting them into a kitchen cabinet. "It will go just fine."

Dad and Charlie both popped themselves a beer after the hard labour, (dad insisted watching after the car was hard work for an old man) and went out to sit on the tiny balcony (that Bella had scrubbed down thoroughly the other day as it had been full of bird leavings.) While they relaxed outside – dad sitting in the doorway since it really wasn't room for two whole men outside on the balcony – I joined Bella on the floor unwrapping things from boxes.

"This is gonna take a month," I complained, dragging the nearest box towards me and peeking inside. It was full of casseroles.

"Don't be such a crybaby," Bella smirked. She stood up to move the now empty box out of the way, and went to carry over a new one. It was a heavy one, and she breathed heavily as she struggled to put it back down beside me. With a deep exhale she dropped it to the floor, and wiped the sweat from her forehead. I leaned back on my arms, grinning up at her.

"Just get used to moving your muscles," I said, nodding towards the heavy box. "I'm gonna be all weak from now on. You can't get your usual free muscle power."

Bella huffed at that and sat down beside me on the floor, wiping a stray of hair away from her face. "Pffft," she said, sneaking one arm around to pinch at my bicep. "Good thing I have enough muscle power for both of us then."

"Uh-huh."

She knew very well I was joking, as it would seriously take a few hundred years before she'd become stronger than me. But, as it was, I would probably have to work a bit harder at the gym these days for keeping up everything as they were.

It had been three months now. Three months since the last time I'd phased. I was already running a lower temperature. I'd told her, a long time ago, I would stop phasing, and I was in the process of keeping that promise. It had been three months of determination, but three months nonetheless. Besides, running around on college probably didn't combine very well with phasing. In one way it was weird, to not do it anymore, but mostly it was an enormous relief. I hadn't missed it yet, anyway.

This would be my first year at college, while it was Bella's second. She'd gone to the community college at home first, one year before moving here and spending one year at dorm to evolve in English literature. The year apart had been long and not very fun, but we'd managed. Charlie and Billy had finally seemed to realize none of us could say home forever, and when it came down to it they actually seemed quite content that we were to move in together; Billy wouldn't have to remind me laying off the frozen pizza (as if he was any better), and Charlie wouldn't have to worry about Bella walking home alone in dark, unfriendly places. And since Rachel had moved in at the rez to stay with Paul, she was close to dad and helped him out if he needed that. So all in all, things were good.

Dad had warned me about this. About moving out and, most importantly, moving in with a _girl. _

"Now, Jacob," he'd said. "You'll find out soon enough that many things are going to get different." And then he'd told me I would have to clean up after myself all the time, as if I didn't already do that, and that there would be much less 'me' and much more 'we'. And then he'd said that we'd probably get sick of each other from time to time, but a night apart now and then would make everything cool again, and then that I would have to pay a lot more attention to the things around me in the apartment and let her stay in control of curtains and flowerpots, and then that there would be no more drinking juice straight from the can.

(Bella had caught me at that once. She'd muttered "charming" under her breath and rolled her eyes, and then started a long tirade about how the ten percent left at the bottom of the can is just spit. After that, I stared demonstratively pouring myself a glass whenever she put a foot in the kitchen, earning another eye roll each time.)

Other than that, it wasn't that much of a difference. There were some areas I simply didn't get, like a conversation Bella and I had had the previous day when we were loading the fridge:

"Hey Bella, you put this in the wrong bag. Ick. Isn't this supposed to be in the garbage?"

"It's Parmesan, Jake. It's supposed to be like that."

"It smells."

"It's cheese."

"But it's ancient."

"That's the point."

"What kind of poor students have Parmesan in their frozen-pizza-and-noodle kitchen?"

"We do."

Actually, I quickly found it was best if I left Bella in charge of the whole kitchen assortment thing.

But I couldn't complain. We had gotten good help unpacking since we got this place. Dad and Charlie had been all over the place of course. They had been swarming around us like concerned mother bees, gesturing widely over boxes and sauce pans, fixing windowsills, nailing their fingers together and drinking a lot of coffee.

Leah had been over here a few times too. She wasn't bothering to help us unpack, she was content just standing by the counter, watching me struggle with putting all the kitchen stuff in their rightful-Bella-system place while she was emptying the rest of the coffee that dad and Charlie hadn't been able to get to. Leah had moved into town too, about six months ago, and considered herself quite superior to city-life. She'd decided taking up a few subjects before trying her determinedness at psychology, which she'd probably manage just fine. Her phasing skills were not yet in complete control, as she had a tendency of bursting out in mood-tornadoes from time to time (I wondered briefly what her neighbours were thinking - maybe they thought Leah owned a particularly hairy dog), but she was improving. She'd decided long ago that nothing was going to break her anymore, and now she was sticking to that promise with admirable fidelity.

I suspected Leah to be secretly thrilled that Bella and I were coming along. No matter how moody and strong she was, I think city life quickly became a little lonely for her after coming from a small place like the rez. And as it was, she and Bella was still getting along good. Since that weird conversation they'd shared about me - that still made Bella grin disturbingly wide when it came up (yes, it still came up) - seemed to have done some kind of magic between the two. What used to be strained, had magically turned seamless, as if they had both entered a silent agreement to like each other. That being said, they were still themselves. Bella was stubborn and Leah was moody, and they could sit in the same room for hours without really talking. Leah could be reading while Bella made cookies, for example, and they both seemed to think that was just fine.

I had confronted Leah once, ages ago, about spilling my brother-sister highly confidential secrets to Bells. Leah had only scoffed at me and said I should be happy she hadn't told Bella about all those times I'd wet my bed as a kid because I was terrified of monsters in the closet (which by the way was a big, fat lie).

Embry and Quil had been over too, of course, horrified and thrilled at the same time that I was moving _away _and with a _girl. _They had given me pretty much the same advise as my dad, only less adequately phrased.

"You two are like an old married couple."

"Only not really old. More middle-aged. "

"How's the bedroom working, Jake, huh?"

"Oh, shut up."

"Maybe he doesn't know yet. Heh."

They had also eaten up all the cookies that Bella had made. I swear, if everyone would keep popping in like this, we'd never get any food or drink in this apartment at all. Like, ever.

Later that night, when Charlie and Billy had left (hugging us goodbye and patting our backs five times each and acting exceptionally mother bear) and all boxes had been either emptied or shoved against the wall, Bella was sleeping steadily on my arm on the couch. She'd been sleeping like this for a while, snuggling up to my side while I had been awake, altering between watching her, watching the ceiling and listening to the sounds of the city.

Her hand was buried in my hair, as she had been stroking it through my hair when falling asleep. My hair was definitely longer now, and she was dragging her hands through it whenever she got the chance. I studied her face in the light from the window, the rest of the room already starting to darken as it was becoming late.

She was still Bells, my Bells. She looked the same as always; pale, brown haired, beautiful. A little older perhaps, a little wiser on experience. But then who weren't.

I hadn't seen Edward since that day, those years back, since we'd said goodbye to them in front of their mansion. I knew he had been speaking to Bella a few times - on the phone. It had been a while, before it happened that first time, and then they had talked a few times after that. Family Fang was up north somewhere now, I think, along with some other family-group-something. They were okay, he said. He was okay, too. Bella thought it was nice hearing from them, making sure he and the rest of the family were okay and not busy killing themselves. If she wanted to talk to them, that was fine. I didn't mind.

She looked happy, now, laying here on my arm. And that was the point to all this after all. That was all that mattered. Always had been. Bella, alive and happy.

She mumbled something in her sleep as she shifted her position beside me. I shifted my position slightly too, resting my head on the armrest trying not to wake her. Bella sighed, a slight smile twitching her lips. I moved one hand up to trace a pattern down her collar bone with my fingertips. Her bra strap fell down slightly from her shoulder by the movement, and I smiled to myself when I noticed. Black, lacy underwear. Oh yes, she had actually bought them to tease me (not in the sexy way, in the haha-gigglealot-_I know all your deep, dark secrets_-way), but that didn't mean they hadn't come in handy too.

I flattened my hand against her collar bone, feeling the slightly swell of her breasts beneath my hand. My touch raised goosebumps on her skin, but not out of cold. Her skin was soft, her pulse echoing each heartbeat. Slowly, she opened her eyes. She smiled, finding my gaze.

The room was almost completely dark now, to the human eye, as it was quickly becoming night. We could stay here on the couch all night if we wanted. Our place. Our couch. Just the knowledge was liberating. Bella sighed again, smiling, before she lifted her head up to kiss me. It was slow and soft, and it was a moment of perfect drowsiness. She dragged her hand through my hair, making me shiver slightly. Again, not out of cold.

"Love you," she mumbled.

I smiled, watching her sleepy, content expression. "So. Am I forgiven?"

She turned her head to the side and blinked, questioning. "Forgiven?"

"For mashing your pinky in the doorway earlier," I grinned.

"Oh." Her eyes narrowed slightly, and she smiled as she pretended to think it over. "It depends."

I raised one eyebrow at her. "Depends on what?"

Her eyes twinkled. "Depends on how you decide to make it up to me."

I smiled down at her, recognizing the all too familiar feeling of my brain decreasing in size. She could still do that, with only a few words. She smiled back at me, her eyes twinkling again, and I leaned forward to press my lips to hers. I could feel her smile against my lips as she kissed me back, her hands fumbling their way up my chest resting around the back of my neck. Her breaths became louder, and my brain was becoming pea-sized, and on top of it all it was _our _couch. _Our _place. It was almost too good to be true. I pulled back slightly, breaking the kiss.

"You know what this means, huh?" I asked her, when she rested her head back down on the pillow. I kept my arms around her waist, keeping her body close to mine.

She smiled up at me. "What does this mean?"

I looked at her, her eyes wide in the darkness. Man, I loved that girl. "It means we're disturb proof."

She raised one eyebrow, studying me, still with that smile on her face. "Disturb proof?

I traced my hand up her neck, before moving it back down. "Yeah. We have our own place now. Just you and me."

"Yeah," she agreed. "We do."

There was a moment of contentment as we both basked in the realization.

"And you know what that means, right?" I continued, studying my own hand on her pale skin, trying to keep my own grin in check.

"What?"

"We can have really loud sex _all _day and no one cares, because there's no one around to interrupt."

Bella snorted a laugh. "You've really thought about this, haven't you?"

I grinned down at her, seeing the laughter in her eyes. "Of course I have, what did you expect?"

She only grinned back and shook her head. A stray of hair landed across her forehead, and I tucked it behind her ear.

"So you know what this means, right?" I said, feeling the side of my lips curve up without my permission.

A smile threatened to break out across her face as well. "What?"

I caught her gaze for a second, letting the grin form on my face for real as I took in the glint in her eyes. Then, in one movement, I rolled over and hoisted her up over my shoulder letting the afghan fall to the floor – our floor - as I stood from the couch. Bella squealed in surprise.

"Jacob!" she cried, laughter shaking her body as she was turned head down, dangling over my shoulder.

"Nope," I said, hoisting her hips further up on my shoulder in a firm grip before determinedly heading towards the bedroom. Her hair was almost reaching the back of my knees. "Not good enough. You're going to have to be much louder than that."

* * *

_A.N: (I just realized it's the last one! Oh my...)_

___That's it, guys. It is a little weird to be ending it, but I am where I wanted to be when I started writing. I hope you have liked this one, I know I have learned a lot from writing it. It got out with a bad start, but it turned out to be the story I've enjoyed most to write. __Thanks to every single one of you who left kind thoughts and comments, they have been both helpful and encouraging._

_Important stuff first:__a humongous thank you to **JJ Twi1ight** for all the great help and beta-work. Writing about another culture in a second language hasn't always been easy (I've had to smack my own forehead a few __times __and grin when I realize I've accidentally slipped in norwegian words like 'overvære' or 'nudler' and she of course have no idea about what the heck I'm trying to say__). Also a tremendous thank you to **kallmecrazy** for __beta-work and helpful suggestions, correcting my grammar and providing lots of encouragement. Better betas than these two are difficult to find, I bet!_

_Over to the less important stuff:  
_

_So, what's next?_

_- So far I have two other projects going on. T__here will be another Jacob/Bella story. It is not a sequel to this one - I'm going all human this time. __I've started writing and planning, but want to get a bit more control over it before I start posting._

_- There will also be a one-shot thing or two, but I don't know when because it is not quite done yet either._

_- There might be one-shot drabbles related to this story – I don't have anything written yet, but I'm open for ideas!_

_So if you're interested, stick around - I'm guessing I'll get to post something around Christmas._

* * *

_And finally, totally off the point __(and since this A.N. is reaching novel-size anyway) a__nd just because I feel like it:__*inserts favourite quote*_

_"I know exactly what words I am wanting to_

_say, but somehow or other they is always getting_

_squiffsquiddled around" __-_ The BFG/Roald Dahl


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